I was lounging alone at the beach, watching the waves crash upon the shore while the salty, cool, misty breeze blew through my hair. About 50 yards ahead, there were a couple of hot girls in string bikinis giggling as they walked towards me with margaritas in their hands. The more attractive of the two established eye contact with me right away and began walking straight towards me. I looked around to make sure it was me she was really looking at. Amazingly, the 20-something girl sat next to me and handed me an ice-cold margarita. She smiled seductively and said, "I bought this drink for the most attractive man on the beach." I was shocked, almost speechless. It was obvious that this girl wanted me and all I could do was sit back and enjoy the attention.

Then she actually licked her finger, put it in my drink, and stirred the ice around. With a seductive look, she pulled her finger out and reached it towards my mouth for me to taste. Not wanting to make her feel embarrassed and because she was pretty and I was thirsty, I opened my mouth. The margarita had made her finger cold and salty, but it was nice because the sun was out and it was a hot day. As I was savoring the salty flavor in my mouth, I heard what sounded like a seagull choking on a piece of fish. "Daah daah daah." I looked around the beach to see what kind of an animal would make such a sound. I heard it again; "Daah, daah, daah," but couldn't decide where it was coming from.

Just then, something clenched onto my right cheek and began jerking and pulling as if it were trying to remove a chunk. It was painful. That was when I opened my eyes and realized that I had been dreaming. That margarita salt I tasted in my mouth was still very much alive. It was alive because my one-year-old son, Jude, was lying on my chest facing me, with his snotty nose directly in my mouth. He had a chunk of my cheek in his little fist, digging his uncut fingernails into my skin, trying to wake me up, chanting, "Daaa daaa daaa," waiting for me to open my eyes.

Fifteen years ago, I had a life full of dreams and goals. I had financial plans that would make me a millionaire by the age of 30. I drove a BMW and a brand-new motorcycle. I owned expensive things and had exquisite taste. It was nothing for me to drop a hundred dollars a night in a pricy restaurant. Everything was good. My sights were aimed high and my "to-do list" included climbing Mount Everest, making movies, and being on the cover of Forbes Magazine. My health was at its best and I was physically stronger than anyone I knew. The sky was the limit for me 15 years ago.

One night, almost ten years ago, I sat in the hospital with my young wife, having no idea that I was just hours away from an event so catastrophic that my entire life as I knew itwould come to an abrupt end. It was the birth-day of my first child, Landin. For me, it felt as though I was waiting for something in the mail. I had no idea what was about to happen. It didn't even register with me that my dreams and goals were about to dissolve into nothing. I honestly thought I would go on as before, living my life and chasing my dreams. For me, having a new baby was about as significant as buying a dog or a cat. It may take a little extra time and money, but life would go on as it did before. I wasn't prepared for what was about to take place in my heart.

About five hours after Landin was born, her mother was asleep in the hospital bed, it was the middle of the night and I was holding a miracle. This was our first time alone and in a span of about three minutes, an infant destroyed everything that meant anything in my life. My goals and dreams that weighed so heavy on my list of priorities, suddenly became shallow and uninteresting. The possessions that defined my very existence and validated my manhood, became nothing more than a pile of rocks.

The wife who used to look upon me as the hope of her future, no longer thought and dreamed only of me. In fact, I was put at the bottom of the list. I suddenly went from number one, to number two, in the space of an hour. I went from being footloose and fancy-free to being a prisoner in my own home. No longer could I dine at fancy restaurants and stay out till the wee morning hours. I couldn't even meet a friend at Starbucks for a cup of coffee. My sleep time that was formerly sacred, had been pillaged and red uced to a few hours a night (if I was lucky).

In the following weeks and months, my healthy body began to accept viruses that it had not known since childhood. I was sick more in six months than I was in the previous 30 years. The sleep deprivation began to take a toll and the only thing that kept me going was the hope that things would soon change. Little did I know at that time; I wouldn't catch up on my sleep for another 15 years.

In a very real way, the day Landin was born, I never made it out of the hospital alive. I left all that I thought to be me, in room 201, and I have never been the same. My heart went from being securely and safely protected beneath a sternum and ribcage, to being haphazardly pinned to the shirt of a wobbling one-year-old girl who ran into things and fell on her face 60 times a day. Up until that time, the most terrible thing I could imagine happening in my life was death itself. The image of my death became nothing in comparison to the pain and suffering I would endure if I lost this little child.

In all my years, I can honestly say that when I was given my first child I was given something a thousand times more terrible than anything I had ever imagined. I was given LOVE. The strength and power of that love was so potent that it literally dissolved the flesh from my heart. Every selfish mind-set and mentality that I had picked up in my life came floating to the top and was thrown away. All that was left, was the true me, and a baby named Landin.

When I use the word "terrible," I mean it in a literal sense. It is so huge, so extreme, so audacious, that the only word that accurately describes love is the word terrible. It's not for the faint-at-heart or squeamish. It can overtake an entire life in a matter of minutes.

I know several men who were married with children and one day they announced that they were leaving the wife and kids for another woman. I find that when this happens, I am rarely surprised. It doesn't surprise me because I observed a lack of terribleness in their love for their family long before they made the decision to leave. These men didn't miss a beat when their children were born. Nothing changed for them. They still had their night out with the guys, they still did all the things they wanted to do. Having a child was nothing more than owning a new toy. I could see their mild love manifest in every word and action.

When love is not terrible; terrible things happen. People get injured in terrible ways and sometimes never fully recover. I've come to believe that the most dangerous thing in the world is a non-terrible love. For the other half of this article go to www.freebelievers.com

I have learned that no matter how much I write and talk about the Free Believers Network and what it is, people will always see it as a bitter, "anti-church" movement. I am often reminded of Jesus' words to the people, "Why is my language not clear to you?" It seemed that no matter how much He explained something to the people, they just couldn't get it. They jumped to radical conclusions that had nothing to do with what He had spoken.

After years of explaining and re-explaining this message till I'm blue in the face, and after asking myself and God what's keeping them from getting this; I finally discovered what it was. I also found out why people immediately associate my words with heresy and accuse me of being "anti-church." It has to do with what they believe the ORIGIN of the institutional church is. They believe that the church we know today was created and ordained by God Himself. The system - the once-a-week service - the offering plate - the paid staff - the choir - the CEO Pastor, right down the line, they believe that this is a system that God created and put in place. They will admit that man has messed it up to some degree, but walking away from it is not allowed.

When people believe that the system came from God, they usually can't make the separation between the "system of church" and the "body of Christ." They see the two as being the same. They've grown up hearing the system calling itself the body for so long, they just believe it without thinking. They believe that ALL fellowship is found only within the system. All Christian growth, all learning, all relationships, all knowledge, all communication with God, everything that is Christian and everyone who calls themselves Christian exist ONLY within the modern-day system. Stepping outside of that system is spiritual suicide.

The irony here is that even if these people are shown historical evidence that the system ascribed to has nothing to do with God, they still can't let it go and see it for what it is. There is something in them that believes this is from God regardless of the evidence and logic that tears that argument apart. When I explain that it's a man-made system, the people immediately translate that to mean that I'm anti-church. They consider it a cut-down for me to say such a thing.

For people who believe this way, hearing the term "Institutional church" is extremely offensive. Applying the word "institutional" to something they deem as sacred, is unforgivable. The very term in and of itself dethrones the system and strips it of its glory and power. You can detect their offense in their comments on this website. One gentleman sent me an email with the words, "Why does your eschatology have to villainize that which so many hold dear?" He literally had no problem at all defining what it was his heart held dear.

This deification of the system accounts for about 90% of the responses elicited from Christians after reading my articles. They'll say stuff like, "Okay, so you're hurt, I get that, but you can't just leave the whole system," or "Rather than talk negatively about the church, why don't you discuss what can be done to fix it." There is an overall tone that forbids the idea of total abandonment as though going down that road isn't even an option. Even if you are hurt, abused and nearly destroyed in church; you mustn't blame the Church. Speaking against that system is disgraceful. It's like speaking against God Himself.

I believe that when we get to the point where we adore our system of doing things more than we adore God Himself, we are more lost than those we claim to lead. This generation of Christians is guilty of this charge! They hold the Method to be more sacred than the Message. Because of this, they no longer know He who is the message. They look for Him in the method and they find Him NOT.

The system, in and of itself, is not bad. However, when a person believes that the system came from God, it becomes DEADLY! What we believe about the system of church is key. The Free Believers Network is not trying to do away with the system of church; we are simply trying to show people that it's not God-ordained. They have a choice. They don't have to do it this way. They can stay or they can go. The mere revelation of this opens so many doors in a person's life that they almost always leave the system angry, because of all the lies they've been told about that system.

Free Believers believe that THE PEOPLE are the Church. We put people before anything and everything. The status quo up until today has been to serve the system and hold it over the people. That manner of thinking is quickly disintegrating. As this generation slowly comes to the knowledge that our system of "doing church" is man made; people are breaking free from something that is clearly dead, and are exploring the limitless possibilities of relationship with God outside of organized church.

Contrary to popular belief; Free Believers are not against public, organized meetings like what we see in a traditional church setting. It's not the meeting that is harmful. It's the government that is allowed to control that meeting. In most American churches, the government has risen to a level of dictatorship and has taken over the entire denomination. When the government becomes sacred, its next step is to rule the people.

I used to think it was sad that people left the institution either hurt or angry. I've asked myself many times why it has to be this way for so many. Today, years later, I finally see what is really taking place when a person gets hurt by the institution. Their eyes pop open and they see firsthand that the system they've always believed was from God, has absolutely nothing to do with Him. It seems that for most of us, nothing can open our eyes to that BUT pain and bitterness. This is why we are warned so often against becoming bitter, because those in charge of us know that we'll most likely see it for what it really is.

I sit in dismay as I listen to Christians warn each other against talking openly about what happened to them in the confines of the institutional church. It's not only frowned upon, but it's considered downright ungodly to even open your mouth and discuss your pain. Putting blame on the system is even worse. It totally reminds me of the trashy mother who catches her boyfriend molesting her nine-year-old daughter and instead of coming to her defense, she blames her daughter for leading him on. She makes her feel responsible for it. She won't let the poor child express her pain to anyone. This is how heartless the present-day Christian mindset is when it comes to standing up for the institution at any cost. They become blinded to the obvious.

If we were talking about a department store that was mistreating their employees, these people would be the first to lead the protest. They would encourage the people to walk out and never come back. The difference is that they don't believe a department store was created by God. They know it's a creation of man. They would never tell the abused employees that they shouldn't talk about their abuse or any abuse they received was probably their fault. They would encourage them to blow the whistle on their oppressors and shout it from the roof tops. They wouldn't think of telling the people that leaving that store would be a dangerous choice. More importantly, they wouldn't tell the people that leaving is the same as leaving God.

When someone tells you that the Free Believers Network is against church; don't believe them. It's not church we're against. It's the deification of the system. Believe it or not, we are also not against institutionalism or a government. Any time there is a planned meeting of any sort, there needs to be some level of government. Someone needs to call everyone, someone needs to unlock the building and turn the lights on, someone needs to set up and break down chairs. There has to be some sort of leadership for this to work. The question is; how much do we allow that government to rise in our church?

Sadly, in the vast majority of churches in America, the "institutional" part has overtaken the church part. When that happens, the message becomes contaminated and the people suffer incredible bondage and abuse at the hands of the institution. When the institution declares itself to be "from God," everything from Sunday sermons to casual conversations are centered around lifting it up and serving it. Every good fruit of a Christian gets sucked up and swallowed by that Institution. People's resources, their time, their money, their friendships, and their service are funneled into the institution while the world remains unaffected and untouched. Rather than bringing God to the world, they bring the Institution to the world, because to them, there is no difference.

More than half of my Free Believer friends still attend a local Church. The difference is that they don't go there thinking it's God's system, God's house and God's order. They go because they want to go and because they have relationships that they value. Many of them go because they enjoy the Bible teaching and many more like the worship service. They treat it as a community center with activities and chances to meet and connect with other Christians. I think that's wonderful. As long as they attend with a balanced perspective, I believe it can be beneficial.

I was just at a church in Wisconsin where my friend Ed Johnson is a pastor. He's got a church of about a hundred people. This man is committed to the freedom of his people. He has successfully caged the government and he makes it serve the people. This church is living proof that it can be done. The people are free and loving life. It's not about church for them. They come together NOT because they're supposed to be faithful to church, but because they like being together.

My friend Ty Bean has also proven that when the people are put before the government, the system can be a good thing. His congregation is perhaps one of the most loving and sincere groups of people I've met. Ty and Heather serve the people; they don't try and get the people to serve them or the church. This is rare indeed.

I honestly believe that those in charge of "church" had better brace themselves. They simply will not survive this wave of revelation that American Christians are getting concerning the church system. Once the people know that they don't have to attend, it will be rather interesting to see who still comes back. My prediction is that only the pastors who made it about serving the people, will survive. The ones who made the people serve the church are about to lose everything. They were able to be as sloppy as they wanted because they knew the people believed that they didn't have any other choice but to return each week. Now that folks are getting the revelation that they DO have a choice, things are going to change.

Darin Hufford
www.freebelievers.com