I hope that in 30 years someone decides to remake Gran Torino. Hopefully it will be a shot-by-shot remake like 1998's Psycho, or maybe someone tries to do a direct homage to it, or maybe a Japanese remake or didn't they make a Turkish version of Star Wars? I really don't care how they remake it. I just want to prove how masterfully Eastwood breathes life into a story that in wrong hands could be a melodramatic mess, or a bad Sitcom.



Walt Kowalski (Eastwood) is a guy missing his decade, he still lives in the home he raised his family in, even though the rest of the neighborhood disappeared years ago. His home is still painted while the homes around him fall apart. The post-war suburban paradise that once was is long gone replaced by gangs, crime, and the Hmong immigrants who have replaced his former white-bread neighbors.



Kowalski has lived a life of hard work and maybe a little regret. He's a decorated Korean War Vet, a husband who's just buried his wife, and a father that has lost touch with his sons. Don't get him started on his bratty Grandkids who want him to die so they get his stuff including a sweet 1972 Gran Torino. Kowalski is a man who poured his heart and soul into a country who doesn't need him anymore and a family that is ready to send him off to Boca to die. Everything changes when he catches his neighbor trying to steal his Gran Torino, and he is introduced into a world that just might let him get the redemption he so desperately needs.



Eastwood has crafted a beautiful film that is honest. With an approach that is so matter of fact and never over sentimental. In the wrong hands this could translate as boring. Yet Eastwood finds a way to make the film real without boring us. It's funny when it needs to be funny, gripping when it needs to grip, and emotional without being overtly emotional. Kowalski exists in the real world, he's abrasive, he's angry, he drinks, smokes, chews tobacco and has lived long enough to not have that politically correct filter that everyone in my generation was issued at birth. He built the world with his bare hands and wishes that people we're polite, kids respected their elders, and is tired of taking crap from everyone. But it's not because he's a monster and Eastwood instills a warmth in Kowalski that drives the film forward.



The supporting cast works because they are real kids. Newcomer Ahney Her deserves notice as Sue, a smart plucky kid that Kowalski aids and Bee Vang hits the right marks as Thao, Sue's brother who Kowalski takes under his wing. Eastwood doesn't ask for gut-wrenching performances from these two kids, only honesty and that's why they work. When the climax hits it's apex Eastwood doesn't ask his cast to react as characters in a movie, but as regular kids.
Gran Torino is not what I expected, it's not Dirty Harry meets Grumpy Old Men. It's a powerful film that sneaks up on you and pulls you along. At any moment it could have been shallow, at any moment it could have been melodramatic, and at any moment we could have hated Kowalski. Trust me there is plenty not to like about this guy, but Eastwood shows us his frustrations, and emotions not by acting them out, but by being real and by giving Kowalski a warmth we don't expect.



Gran Torino makes me wish I had treasured the moments I could have had with my Grandfather. It also challenges me to reach out even If I don't want to. Gran Torino is not about telling a fake story about redemption, it's about real people with real problems and how they find within themselves the power to take responsibility for their lives and in that they find the strength to overcome what life has dealt them. Gran Torino will not change the world but it may make you look at your fellow man with a little more compassion.

CHECK OUT MY NEW BLOG,

Musings From The Self Proclaimed Wisenheimer

 

I update it pretty regulary so Check it Out!

 

These two quotes we’re heard while watching MTV’s World’s Greatest Dance Crew.

 

-You Really Brought Jazz To The Hood-

                                             (Excuse Me Jazz was invented in the Hood!)

-Broadway is the future of Hip Hop-

                 (Huh! Can’t wait for Sweeny Todd:The Disco Barber of Fleet Street)

Ahhh!! Our Pop Culture is so missinformed! WORD!!

 

 

This made me laugh pretty Hard!!! Paraody is alive in well in Canada!

Hey Guys,

   Just giving you the heads up that I've been quoted a number of times in today's Washington Post. 

 I now think radio is about being natural and being yourself," [Johnny Stone]  says, cuing up the next song. "That's why I've got these guys on the show," he says, gesturing toward Dawn Wheeler, a 26-year-old producer and the show's on-air ingenue. He nods toward Dein, a 27-year-old who looks like a "Star Wars" nerd and is sitting two feet away.

"You mean, I don't sound like a professional?" Dein asks.

"No," Stone replies, with a little you-must-be-kidding in his voice. "You're definitely not a professional.

You can read the full article here... Washington Post Article.. (registration required).

Send angry letters to the post stating that I'm a Peter Jackson Nerd not a Star Wars Nerd.  The nerve.

 

I've been busy this week and last. To busy to tackle popular music charts but I'll be back hopefully next week. Be looking for a blog post later this afternoon, and to tide you over here's part one of episode one of the short lived teen soap Swan's Crossing. There's about 30 whole episodes available on you tube. You'll notice that these shows feature a teenaged Sarah Michelle Gellar. SO WORD UP!

8. SMACK THAT

AKON (featuring EMINEM)(Explicit)

What if EMINEM's next album were just a series of modulated farts? How many albums would he sell? 10 million probably. Or what if EMINEM and Kenny G went out on tour how many EMINEM fans would make Kenny G a superstar? Tons. MY point is that this single exists because Slim Shady is on the track. Past that Smack That is another in a long line of songs celebrating the art of picking up ladies at the club. The song lacks any originality, the beat get really annoying, and EMINEM can usually rhyme without blinking. This puppy feels phoned in. Although the video does feature Eric Roberts, so it can't be all bad.

7. SHORTIE LIKE MINE

Bow Wow Featuring Chris Brown and Johnta Austin

I stand corrected, a shortie does not always refer to a short women. After hearing the word all over a bunch of other songs on this chart I realize that Shortie is a street slang endearment for a young lady. I call my wife Gooby, so it would be that same thing. In fact I'm going to re-record the song as "Gooby Like Mine." Bow Wow's song does a good job of appealing to his young fans as well as opening the door to a more adult crowd. Not high art but it's pretty sweet. Now when is Bow Wow gonna make Like Mike 2?

6. YOU

Lloyd (featuring Lil Wayne)(explicit)

I give Lloyd props for realizing the value of sampling Spandau Ballet's "True." The rest of the song is Lloyd's smooth attempt to woo a lady at a club and get her to go home with him. Why must every darn song be about hot chicks in a club and bad pick-up lines? Is this what the club is really like? If I used lines like:

Can I be for real?

Dis is how I feel

I'm in need of love

So lets dip up out of here

would I be able to get a lady from a club? Rap and R&B came from a tradition of music about experiencing life. Whether is be the joy of religion (gospel) or the pain of the street (Blues), how the heck did it get reduced to bad pick-up line rhymes. I'm just asking because, isn't it time to raise the art form a little.

 5. PROMISE

 Ciara

Ciara's desperate attempt to woo the guy on the other end of this song will allow me to dub "The Anti-Beyonce" tune. In this song she does everything in her power to keep the man of her dreams. She'll even do homework and extra credit. Ciara is more talented that this simple-minded R&B junk alas I'd skip this tune.

4. RUNAWAY LOVE

Ludacris (featuring Mary J. Blige)

Runaway Love is a good antidote for all the music about picking up the ladies in the club. The song is about three young girls trying to escape their demons by running away. A sad song, a tragic song, and a song about hope all jammed in together. Thank's Luda for this one.

3. WE FLY HIGH

Jim Jones (explicit)

Another hit about fast cars and girls in the club, but We Fly High almost gets away with this because the song has so much going on. The song is ambitious even if the lyrics are pretty throw-away. As a rap song this is above average because the producers have hidden the fact that this is another unoriginal look at another artist with to much machismo. Listen because it is at least interesting but skip the lyrics because they reduce the production work to window dressing.

2. I Wanna Love You Akon

(featuring Snoop Dogg) (explicit)

Wow what a difference the radio edit of this song is. I wanna love you is surprisingly sweet even if the original lyrics change love to F%$^. This raises an important question, what's the point of writing an incredibly crude ode to strippers if you're just going to neuter it so you can put it on the radio?? The song is obnoxious, and well it's the second biggest song in the country? Man I'm glad this list is almost over because if I've learned anything about Rhythmic music 90% of it is the same song, and the gems that stick out aren't worth my time. Why is that?

1. IRREPLACEABLE

 Beyonce

I figured out why this song is a giant hit, it gets stuck in your head. Of course the only antidote there is, is to play it again, but of course a few hours later there that darn song is loged somewhere near the pituitary gland, a full frontal labotomy would probably fix the problem permanently but that might be extreme. As a track it's slicker and more produced than a lot of the music on the countdown. But here we are at number one and I ask the question again. Does Beyonce deserve to be here??

 

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Join me next week when we tackle the URBAN/URBAN AC chart. We'll revisit a lot of old favorites and meet some new friends like Tank, Lyfe Jennings, and a guy who's name is simply Joe. Feel free to comment, disagree, and leave me kudos about any one of these tracks. WORD UP!!

16. WALK AWAY (REMEMBER ME)

Paula DeAnda(featuring the Dey)

Paula DeAnda's single is so earnest and sweet that it's a great antidote to all the over-sexed crap that passes as good music these days. She's a fine artist with enough talent to sell the song, and The Dey who raps with her does a good job featuring himself without stealing the song from Paula's. As far as singles go this one is so harmless and nice it's refreshing in a format that praises the overly crude.

15. MONEY MAKER

Ludacris (featuring Pharell)(explicit)

Ludacris is too serious to pull off a Booty Anthem, He's as gifted an artist as they come and Money Maker has enough going on behind it, with organs, and horns, you almost wish the song was about something more relevant. It's disgusting and made moreso by Ludacris's style which is so dark. Attitude is this songs biggest problem. It could have been pulled with a little more tongue and cheek humor, but Ludacris is to serious.

14. ON THE HOTLINE

Pretty Ricky (Explicit)

If Salt n Pepa haven't sued Pretty Ricky they really need to. The chorus is almost completely ripped off from their single Let's Talk About Sex. The rest of the song is a phone sex conversation between Ricky and some girl he met on Myspace.

My favorite line from the song is Take them granny panties off put a thong on . Why would you say this? Is this remotely sexy? No. On The Hotline proves that Pretty Ricky knows nothing about talking sexy to ladies on the phone. This is later proved by the fact that he acknowledges that he called the girl 7 times that day. Pretty Ricky you sound like a desperate freak, one of those guys on Dateline's To Catch A Predator.

This song is so laughably silly that any sense of eroticism is lost. For those wondering if I'm trying to encourage objectionable content that's a different story. The context of this song is that the women on the other side of his phone sex conversation should be turned on. My argument is that I think she'd probably be laughing. This is the worst kind of dirty song, it isn't sensual, erotic, or sexy. It's just silly.

13. THE WAY I LIVE

Baby Boy Da Prince (featuring Lil Boosie)

With an Island feel This is most laid back rap song I've ever heard. It got enough attitude, and is an interesting showcase for Baby Boy Da Prince. Unlike a bad song that just sort of sits there, this one is simple and yet constantly listenable.

The single is a typical bragging tune, but because it takes it time it tells us more about who Baby Boy Da Prince is, it laid back style works. Not much more to write about except that as far as rap songs go this one is pretty cool.

 12. WALK IT OUT

 Unk (explicit)

UNK fortunately made his song just under 3 minutes and that is the saving grace. The song is a bunch of Street Gibberish with a chorus that repeats over and over again. This is the kind of song that more talented artists remixes and turn into dance club anthem. Walk It Out is a waste of time, sorry Unk, this is a sloppy, pointless song, about nothing.

11. FERGALICIOUS

Fergie (explicit)

Fergie gets away with this off-color song because she's so darn cute. In fact that's how she gets away with her whole persona. In the wrong hands Fergalicious would be such a chore of a song, but Fergie makes the song fun, even if it the song is incredibly crude.. How will.i.am get's away with spelling Tasty wrong I never understand. I guess that's one of life's great mysteries.

10. That's That (S%$&)

Snoop Dogg (featuring R. Kelly)(explicit)

Snoop's ode to Chicago's fine ladies is your typical girls dancing in the club anthem. The song is made special by R. Kelly's vocal prowess on the chorus. It this a good song? No. It's so typical of everything that's come before it. No one can argue that Snoop has done some pretty good music in the past, this one feels as if he's phoned it in. Snoop is an Icon in the rap world as is R. Kelly so of course the songs a hit. Does it deserve it? Of course not. The rhymes are shoddy, the beat is lame, and let's face it if you've heard one song about ladies in the club you've heard them all. Nice try guys but this is a song that exists only because of the names on the record.

 9. My Love

Justin Timberlake featuring TI

Wanna know what ticks me off the most about this song.

My Love ft. T.I. 4:41

 Let Me Talk To You (Prelude)/My Love (Album Version) 6:10

 My Love (Instrumental) 4:39

My Love (No Rap Version) 3:55

My Love (Acapella - Lead Vox)

 My Love (Acapella - Backing Vox)

My Love (Benja Styles Remix Feat. Vybz Kartel & T.I)

My Love (Steve Angello & Sebastian Ingrosso Remix)

My Love (Paul Oakenfold Club Mix)

My Love (Paul Oakenfold Radio Edit)

My Love (Paul Oakenfold Radio Mix)

 My Love (Paul Jackson Remix)

My Love (Paul Jackson Radio Edit)

My Love (Linus Loves Remix)

My Love (Poker Face House Mix)

 My Love (Sticky Count The Money Remix)

My Love (DFA Remix)

 My Love (Quentin Harris Re-production)

My Love (Terry Hunter Remix)

My Love (Hani's Ibiza Is Burning Extended Mix)

My Love (Hani's Ibiza Is Burning Radio Mix)

 My Love (Hani's Ibiza Is Burning Mix)

 My Love (D&D EE Bass Mix ft. T.I.)

My Love (DJ Volume Remix)

My Love (DJ Volume Ultimix Pt 2)

My Love (Mike D Bass Mix)

My Love (Friscia & Lamboy Electrotribe Mix)

 My Love (Tim Rex Radio Mix)

 My Love (Tim Rex Club Mix)

My Love (Isabel Decibel Bootleg Mix)

My Love (DUF Dubstep Remix)

 My Love (Diplo Remix)

My Love (Low Budgets Pawrty Mix)

 My Love (Black Moon Electro Remix)

My Love (Jared Jones Vibelicous Disco Tech Mix)

 My Love (Kolostas Electro Remix)

 My Love (My Billie Jean Electro Mix)

My Love (Tony Arzadon Remix)

 My Love (Nick's Sexy Time Remix)

My Love (Nick's Sexy Time Dub)

My Love (Nick's Sexy Time Bonus Beats)

My Love (Nick's Stripped Sexy Time Remix)

My Love (Bert's Love Song Radio)

My Love (Bert's Club Love Song)

My Love (Bert's Dub Mix)

My Love (Bert's Electro Space Dub Mix)

 Mi Amor (Spanish Version Feat. Cruzito)

How many mixes does one song need? 48? Heck no. When trying to track down which version radio was playing I couldn't even figure that out. Instead I grabbed the shortest one remixed by Paul Oakenfold. The mix gets a little obnoxious, and Justin Timberlake bugs the tar out me. But WHY OH WHY does one song need so many mixes. In fact if you go over to amazon.com there is more than one My Love single. AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! ______________________________________________________________________________

Join me tomorrow as we get to the end of this Rhythmic Journey, with our old friends Akon, Ludacris, and Beyonce. Also we'll meet a guy named Lloyd, just Lloyd.

24. AY CHICO (LENGUA AFUERA) PITBULL (Explicit)

This song reminded me of two songs as I listened to it. The first was the 80's classic Pass the Dutchi by Musical Youth, and the other Hot Hot Hot by Buster Poindexter. Except that this rap song is really crude, in a Junior High School kind of way.

The hit also features a few of the lyrics in Spanish which gives the song some sense that the dirtiest parts are somehow hidden in the Spanish lyrics. A Babel Fish interpretation offered a bunch of sentences about Water and Miami so I don't really know what he's talking about.

Pitbull's song would be fun in an island dance hall. But the lyrics are pointed squarely below the belt. It's as if these artist only get a shot on radio if they write a nice female Butt Anthem. I know Rhythmic music should have a good beat, and a charismatic artist behind them. Pitbull has given us both. But shouldn't we sometimes strive for more than just pointless songs about ladies jiggling the goods??

 I'm just saying!!!

 

23. DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL

Frankie J

..

Sometimes my prayer's are answered. A minute ago I asked for a song that was more than just a stupid booty shaking anthem. Well here it is a song that is both literarte and accessable.

I also believe that Frankie J is everything Justin Timberlake is trying to be. This guy can sing, unlike Mr. Timberlake who sounds like he's straining to hit high notes. Frankie J hits them and makes it sound easy.

His voice is relaxed and soothing and he sounds genuine. I makes the song feel as if it  matters for something. The single tell's a tragic story about a little girl who's parents are splitting up, and how she' prays to God her Daddy won't leave. The lyrics while not groundbreaking serve the song. It never sounds as if the lyrics are forcing Frankie J into that fake sing/talk mode that lots of other hits are guilty off.

Here is a tune that should be applauded.

22. What Goes Around...Comes Around

Justin Timberlake

I'll admit on a second listen, that the open to this song is pretty cool. It like the violin part. I guess it's Justin Timberlake that bugs me the most, why him? Why this song? Why seven minutes long?

 Except for the aforementioned violin part the rest of the song just keeps repeating on itself, and at one laughable moment Justin attempts to pull off this really high Falsetto harmony. I believe he thinks is channeling Michael Jackson, but he sound more like a little boy going through puberty or a eunuch.

I think the thing that bothers me the most about Justin Timberlake is the prefabricated persona. Never for a moment do I believe that he should be singing this music, or adopting the R&B style. Everything about him screams FAKER.

I may not like a lot of Rhythmic music but as I listen to a lot of the songs I begin to weed out the imposters. Justin Timberlake is an imposter.

21. THIS IS WHY I'M HOT

 MIMS (Explicit)

Why is Mims hot?

I'm hot coz I'm fly (fly)

You ain't coz you're not (mims)

This is why x2 This is why I'm hot(x2)

People also say he's the bomb, ladies like his car, therefore the ladies like him, which turns all the patrons in the club into jealous haters. Thank Goodness Mims can take them all.

This Is Why I'm Hot suffers from too much hot air, a little more tongue and cheek, the rap would have been funny. But Mims it too serious to realize how pompus he is. Here's another rap song that suffers from an annoying beat and a chorus that over stays it's welcome.

20. I LUV IT

Young Jeezy (Explicit)

Young Jeezy has crafted a rhyme about the streets of the ATL, Dealing with the fame and trying to stay alive. In a crude way this song is a celebration of a life lived dangerously. While I can't agree with the sentiment there is something beautiful about a man who realizes life is difficult and can still love it.

 I like the Song even if I didn't quite grasp all the lyrics. At least its an interesting take on the pompus attitude songs. Young Jeezy is at least grateful for being where he is.

 19. SAY GOODBYE

Chris Brown

As far as R&B songs go, I'll admit that I was a little harsh with Chris Brown because of how silly a lot of the lyrics in this song really are. But for what it's worth the song at least has some passion in it.

 Chris Brown's style harkens back to the Jodeci and Boys to Men style R&B and he's a talented singer. Not my style but I can appreciate the singing, even if for the most part the song is very silly.

18. MAKE IT RAIN

FAT JOE (featuing Lil' Wayne) (Explicit)

I think you have to follow the rap scene to understand this tune. I for the life of me cannot begin to understand what this song is about, but I like Fat Joe's style. It like his attitude, and the he seems genuine.

 I like the beat by Scott Storch, and I like the production effects on the song. I don't have much more to say about it, but I liked it and yet I have no idea what it's about. Anyone who can help me with deciphering it I would be much obliged.

17. SAY IT RIGHT

Nelly Furtado (featuring Timbaland) (Explicit)

What makes Say It Right a great song is that is an experience for the ears. The song is deeply layered, with so much going on underneath it. Listen to this song with headphones and drink it in.

On a side note, I miss the most is the old Nelly Furtado's. Her new sexy image takes so much away from her personally. I liked her album's Whoa Nelly and Folklore so much that I broke my heart when Promiscuous became a big hit, because she's so talented and the sexy stuff reduces her to eye candy.Say it Right is an interesting departure, but I'm hoping she'll find herself home soon. _____________________________________________________________________________ Tomorrow we crack the top ten while we revisit Paula Deanda, and discover Just how Baby Da Boy Prince Lives,and begin to accept Snoop Dogg, That's That. C-YA.

32. SHOW STOPPER Danity Kane

..

On a second listen the song improves a little, and I realize what doesn't work on the song. One of the voices in this group is so grating to the ears. Her name is Aubrey, and while she's quite easy on the eyes her voice is really, really annoying. It's as if she straining to hit high notes and the producers have decided to feature her voice on every single one. Bad move guys! Still a song not worth listening to.

31. POPPIN'

Chris Brown

(No Video Available)

Chris Brown'a ode to his new girl is sweet in a street sort of way. He love his girl, wants to show her around town, and she's poppin', and that makes him feel poppin'. The single itself is so mellow, you keep waiting for it to go somewhere and it just stays the same. For a slow Jam it just feels really repetitive and overstays it's welcome with an overly repetitive ending that allows Chris to say Poppin' about 600 times. I guess this would make good background music to set a romantic mood, but in the car or at work it's pretty boring.

30. STUCK WITH YOU

Lil Rob (Explicit)

(No Video Available)

 Stuck With You is a strange song because it's so darn sweet. It reminds me of love poems I used to write girls when I was junior high (without the f-word obviously). Lil' Rob's laid back rapping style feels like either he's either totally emasculated, or he's brilliantly aloof. The song suffers from some crappy computer effects, but there is something so endearingly sweet about the tune I think most ladies would want to get Stuck with Lil Rob. A sweet natured rap ballad! Now I've heard everything.

29. MONEY IN THE BANK

 Lil Scrappy (featuring Young Buck)(Explicit)

Young Buck steals this tune away from Lil Scrappy mostly because his rhyme makes sense. This song suffers from a beat that becomes insufferable, and a chorus that doesn't even fit the song. Lil' Scrappy talks about all the ladies he can get (even if he has to pay them) and Young Buck talks about respect and cars. Not much links the money in the bank. But Young Buck is a much better rapper and it shows in the song. I'm not really qualified to discuss rap music, but I'm curious, would this be considered a good rap song? In my estimation this is a bad rap song, lacking any originality, real attitude, and Lil Scrappy's inane rhyme was pointless.

28. DON'T MATTER

 AKON

(No Video Available)

I've been pretty harsh with Akon and I must admit that had I heard this Reggae inspired ballad first I probably wouldn't have hated those other two songs as much. This single let's Akon shine and except for the Chipmunk sounding back-up singers, the tune actually has a lot of feeling and passion behind it. Like a bunch of the songs we've heard today this one does overstay it's welcome with a chorus that just goes on and on. But all in all it proves at least one thing: Akon doesn't have to sing bad songs about getting booty, to have a hit.

27. UNAPPRECIATED

CHERISH

I'll say it again this song is so annoying. Cherish doesn't really fit the music, and worst of all the harmonies are really insipid. I hate to say it but this track makes these ladies sound like a Destiny's Child cover band. Plus one of the ladies in the band sounds just like the worst of Britney Spears, and that's a bad thing for a group that's full of singers.

26. BREAK IT OFF

 Rihanna (featuring Sean Paul) (explicit)

I just thought we could read some more of Sean Paul's strange lyrics.... No doubt Gyal u shoulda know SP and a scout(?)

Naughty sweat so shout(?)

 Make ya bawl out (shout)

Make ya holla me gah give affection in your direction

 We go all out Gyal, just follow we if ya love energy

If ya whan pedigree

Cruise like Penelope

 Make a see yuh just bounce wit de

Dutty Lee We keep givin you de Q to de U to de A (yea)

to de L to de I to de T to de Y Girl I got to try (try)

Take yuh booty make you reach to de S.K.Y. Woman I got to say (say)

 Da way u move is makin me hype

 Girl cuh yuh know say yuh S to de E to de X to de Y (Pumba Pumba)

I'm going to go over to the mirror and try to say this verse three times fast. I can't for the life of me understand what the heck Sean Paul is saying but it sure is funny. As for Rihanna, I would consider myself a fan of her music and unfortunately she's wasted on this track. What a shame.

25. ICE BOX

 OMARION

Ice Box is the kind of song I wanted to like, but some interesting parts throughout do not fix the fact that the chorus is obnoxious. Omarion is a talented singer and the song, about a guy who want to fix a problem in his relationship but his heart has turned cold, has some great moments. It's just they add up to little more than dressing for a chorus that at the very least is really sloppy. This tune is another hit that overstays it's welcome. To close, I just thought this was really funny.... "Omarion was in London at the time of the July 7th tube bombings. Whilst he was not near any of the stations nor did he travel on the London Underground during his stay; a press release was released on his behalf asking for people to pray for his safe return to the USA. This has given rise to many online communities (such as Fark) "praying for Omarion" whenever there is a disaster or terrorist attack." - From Wikipedia ______________________________________________________________________________ I felt like I was really negative today, for that I apologize. Join me tomorrow when we go Spanish with Pitbull, we discover why Mims is so hot, and we revisit Nelly Furtado and Timbaland. C-YA!!

I think most Journey's begin not with a single step but with packing up your things and putting them in the car. That was what last week's adventure was all about. The CHR/TOP 40 is a microcosm of popular music. Those 40 hits will lay the groundwork for everything that comes later. This week at least 12 songs we reviewed last week will make an appearance.

But I must admit that the Rhythmic Chart is uncharted territory for me. The Rhythmic chart is the place where Rap, R&B, and other Urban formats come together with an emphasis on a dance beat. These are the tunes you go out to the club to hear. As such, I know very little about the artists that we will discuss this week. Please grant me some grace, as I am only sharing my opinion on the music and if your opinion varies feel free to comment below. Now without further ado, I present the top 40 Rhythmic songs in America.

______________________________________________________________________________

40. RIDE FOR YOU

DANITY KANE

Danity Kane's starts off out countdown with a song about not giving up on a relationship when things get bad. It's actually a pretty nice Ballad from the girls who's single Show Stopper put me in a coma.

This single shows that these ladies have some singing range. The song suffers from an economy of words problem where what's being said could have been said much simplier, much like this enormous run-on sentence I've crafted. This single isn't half bad.

39. TURN YA OUT

Tyrese (aka Black-Ty) featuring Lil' Jon

Tyrese has a lot of soul. The highlight of this song is Tyrese himself, with pipes like his the song at least stays listenable. As for the track, the rhyme scheme is a little simplistic and so you get verses like this:

I wanna be the one to, give your body what it needs. (what it needs) Can't you hear me lady(lady), talking to you baby. I wanna be the one to grab that(the one to grab that), the one to have that(the one to have that), Shorty I'm trying to turn ya out. (ooooh)

This kind of simplistic writing seems sloppy. There is another verse in the song where every line ends with the word "ya." I guess if you like music that says very little, this is the kind of single for you.

As for his guest Lil' Jon, let me just say this man is a genius. He has built an entire career on getting onto other peoples records and saying "YEAAAAA-UUUH" and for this he's paid millions of dollars. I wish we could all be so lucky. Lil' Jon you deserve a Nobel Peace Prize, I'm convinced you should be the next president. LIL' JON IN '08 YEEEEEEEE-UHHHH.

38. Tell Me

DIDDY (featuring Christina Aguilera) (Explicit)

"Hi I'm Diddy and I'm the greatest human being." Methinks he doth protest to much. In this little escapade Diddy pleasures a lady who sounds very much like Christina Aguilera, and with all the passion she brings to the song, Diddy sounds like he's doing his taxes. This single is actually very well produced and would be pretty cool to dance to.

But Diddy bugs me. This is the second or third single of his, in which he toots his own horn. In this one while he's making love to the lady he sings:

I like that I want that Let me talk to you one more time baby girl Your dream's fulfilled You're rockin' with the best Unforgivable I'ma push your limits to the test You're pulsating your heart is beatin' in and outta your chest You're hyperventilating You're tryin' to catch your breath

These lyrics should have some passion in them and Diddy's delivery is so ho-hum I'm not quite sure if it's because he thinks he's the greatest or if he was having an off day in the studio. Diddy get some passion buddy. Otherwise you sound like a ego-maniac.

37. KING KONG

Jibbs (Featuring Chamillionaire)

Al Gore really needs to really talk to Jibbs. Let's face it he drives a giant ozone depleting SUV that's so weighted down by the "King Kong" sound system it gets about 3 miles to the gallon. He also need to talk to an ear, nose, and throat guy because all those speakers right next to your ears can't be healthy.

Also pimping out your ride with all that equipment is a horrible investment because you car loses value the minute you drive it off the lot. Six years from now your 100,000 dollar ride will only be worth like 20 grand. Now that King Kong system in a screening room in a Malibu mansion could drive property values up. Trust me Jibbs get rid of the car and buy yourself a nice pad.

This ode to Jibbs car is silly. I like silly. Puff Daddy could learn a lot from Jibbs. This song is purely about his car stereo and how it attracts the ladies and yet it's light enough that you can laugh along with Jibbs Narcism. Nice pointless rap Jibbs.

36. LET'S RIDE

The Game (Very Explicit)

My favorite line in this tune is,

Remember that, Dre? You passed me the torch I lit the chronic with it, now the world is my ashtray,

A hundred years from now music scholars are going to post this line in every school in the country and The Game's rapping skills will live on. As for the rest of the song it's a cautionary tale about not messing with The Games friends or owning a female dog, because it seems The Game has his way with one every night of the week.

Diddy could learn a lot from The Game because when he says B*&$#s get scared when N—z start fighting in the club" I believe him. He also enjoy's something called the Chronic. I'm very glad that and I quote The Game: "[it] Ain't Nothing But A G-Thang, Baby Ain't Noting But A G-Thang.

I'm scared of The Game so I'll give this song a thumbs up.

35. LOST ONE

Jay-Z (featuring Chrisette Michele) (Explicit)

WOW... can this be an experimental rap song. Lost One is one of the most challenging and simple rap songs I've ever heard. A beat, a piano, a guest voice, and Jay-Z all mix in a song that challenges rhyme scheme, dynamics, and all word logic.

The song is told in three parts. Part one is about a falling out with a friend, part two a falling out with a lover, and part three a death that Jay-Z feels responsible for. These three tragedies make for a powerful and moving song.

 

Except that fame is
The worst drug known to man
It's stronger than, heroin
When you could look in the mirror like, "There I am"
And still not see, what you've become
I know I'm guilty of it too but, not like them
You lost one

This is my favorite passage in the song. It hit me, and makes me long for the moment Diddy realizes this.

Seriously though, I don't listen to much rap. But if more of it was like this I probably would. BRAVO JAY-Z.

 

34. LAST NIGHT Diddy (featuring Keyshia Cole)(Explicit)

I guess Diddy has a soft side, it come out in this tune that for some reason harkens back to the song "Fame." I think it's because Diddy's guest on this track, Keyshia Cole, sounds just like Irene Cara (who sang the hit song "Fame"). LAST NIGHT is the story of Diddy, who really wants to call a girl and tell her how he feels but his pride won't let him. On the other side is a girl who loves the Diddy and is waiting for him to call.

Finally as the song ends Diddy calls the girl and says....

Hey waz-up I've been tryin' to reach you all night That s--t ain't funny not picking up the mutha f---ing phone Better stop f---ing playing with a n----'s feelings like that You know how much I love you though right? But for them couple of seconds though, When I couldn't get in touch with you. I'm ready to come over your house and shoot that mutha f----er up You better f----ing not be there when I get over that house

Then Diddy laughs like it's all a joke. Now if this was the first time we saw Diddy's crazy side I might think this was a joke. But everybody knows Diddy is a narcicist, and I've always believed there's always truth in jest. SO I don't find this kind of joking very funny. Keyshia Cole I would go hide somewhere, cause Diddy might be after you.

33. NA NA (THE YUMMY SONG)

Baby Bash

(No Video Available)

I stand corrected, when I saw the title Na Na (The Yummy Song) by Baby Bash I assumed that this song was going to be performed by a baby. Kind of like that song by Jordy from the mid 90's. But this song is performed by a grown man. The single is your pretty standard rap-style love song.

But It's really hard to take seriously with a chorus like this....

She's So Yummy Yummy Yummy Ohh She's Sweet As Honey Ohh I Gotta Get Some Na Na, Na Na She's So Yummy And Delicious Ohh With Tender Kisses Ohh I Gotta Get Some Na Na, Na Na Some Na Na (Na Na Na) [x4]

What exactly Na Na, Na Na is, is up for debate. I'd like to hear what you out there think, Na Na, Na Na is. I've got a prize for the best response, plus I want proof people are reading my blog. So comment away.

______________________________________________________________________________ Thus ends Day one of our five day journey into the heart of the Top 40 Rhythmic Songs in the United States. Join me tomorrow when we revisit Danity Kane, we go Poppin', and we hear more from my favorite artist Akon. C-YA NA NA, NA NA PUMBA PUMBA!

8.LIPS OF AN ANGEL

 HINDER

This single is really interesting. On the surface it's the song about two people who used to be together, and still want to be together, but are both in other relationships. What's interest me the most is that the song plays a trick on you. It's not about a man who wants to cheat but about a man who is fighting the temptation from his old flame. The feelings are still there, and yet he keeps saying to himself "Girl you make it hard to be faithful." Will he leave his new love and return to his old flame? My hope is no, but that's just because the girl on the other end of the phone has called in an emotional state. Would she have call him when there weren't tears in eye? Probably not. Hinder's Rock song ballad has enough dimension to make it listen able.

 7. SAY IT RIGHT

NELLY FURTADO (featuring TIMBALAND)

I love the story as to how this song was crafted. The team used four microphones in the live room and moved them around during recording, about which Furtado said "...when you listen to it — there's a lot of dimension. It kind of sounds like [Timbaland]'s in another country". Afterwards they picked the best vocals and "perfected" them, before inserting "reverbs and weird alien sounds" onto them. "[W]e experimented a lot with depth and different sounds", Furtado said of the making of the song. "[It] affected my vocals a whole lot." From Wikipedia And you can hear the difference, I love how the backing vocals and Timbaland's parts swell up and down. If anything this song is all about production and nuance, I listen to all the music through headphones and this one was an aural treat. To top it off the lyrics are fascinating. I believe the song is about a women giving herself over to a man and all the conflicts that go around in her head. Yes the song is about sexuality, but it's more about a women who wants to give in, not about the outcome. The lyrics are a fascinating read.

6.I WANNA LOVE YOU

AKON (FEAT. SNOOP DOGG) VERY VERY EXPLICIT

 

Alright this song is a great example of why radio edits are ridiculous. This song's original title replaces the word Love with well it begins with an F and rhymes with ----I think you can't figure it out. Anybody who buys the Akon song hoping for loved will get a horrible surprise. Anyway as far as a song goes its another example of the guest artist stealing the show from the main artist. In this case Snoop Dog talks about loving a stripper's feline, while Akon is reduced to repeating the same horrible chorus over and over again. Do me a favor don't listen to this song, its utterly disgusting and was written by boys who may get lots of ladies, but I wouldn't want to hang out with those girls anyway. I want my 5 minutes back on this crappy piece of excrement.

 5. SMACK THAT

 AKON (Featuring EMINEM) (EXPLICIT)

If you can't guess what Smack That is about from the title of the song well it's about giving a lady a spanking. This time Akon gets to rap through the whole song only giving EMINEM one verse to rock the mic. But this is essentially the same song as I Wanna Love You except Akon not hitting on a stripper, just a lady at a club. Who likes these songs? Not since Rockwell's "Sombody's Watching Me" became at hit by glomming onto Michael Jackson, have I seen two singles that are hits simply because Snoop Dogg and Eminem are on them. That the earlier tune isn't cridited to Snoop Dogg (featuring Akon) remains a mystery too me. Again don't feed this man's ego, with all the talented Rappers out there don't give Akon the time of day.

4. HOW TO SAVE A LIFE

THE FRAY

After sitting through Akon thankfully I have a song that's worth listening too. The Fray have over the past year or so really impressed me. Some write them off a merely a Coldplay clone, but they are much more. This single is a fascinating look into the mind of someone who is trying to get through to a friend in trouble. When that fails the song laments, Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life This chorus is a great reflection on how difficult it is to reach out. The song is a dark look into how difficult it is to stare at someone who's killing themselves and finally about dealing with the pain of not getting through. The Fray have crafted a brilliant song about the human condition.

3. FERGALICIOUS

FERGIE (explicit)

Remember when I referred to Diddy as a narcist? Well Fergie offers the antidote to that by providing a tongue-in-cheek and downright fun look into what I feels like to be Stacy Ferguson. I especially love that will I am's rap is conceited enough to misspell Tasty as "T-A-S-T-E-Y. In full disclosure the song is a little raunchy and raw, but you can almost hear Fergie winking back at you to get the joke. I applaud a Star who can create a song where she is the butt of the joke and yet we're all laugh with her. Diddy could learn a lot from Fergie.

2. MY LOVE

 JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE (featuring T.I.)

Justin Timberlake has figured out the best way to hide horrible lyrics is behind a driving bass beat and dance music. His voice disappears into this mess of sounds until all you can really make out is Justin's band Michael Jackson impression. How this guy has the number two song in the country while singing in an obnoxious falsetto voice that sounds to me like his straining his vocal chords is beyond me.

 1. IRREPLACEABLE

BEYONCE

Beyonce is a tough chick who's not to be messed with. Because she's got a bunch of men to replace your sorry butt. Irreplaceable is another is a long line of female empowerment tunes and while this one is a little to wordy for it own good, Beyonce has the pipes to pull the song off. Does this song deserve to be the number one song in the country? My answer is as long as it's not AKON I'm happy. _____________________________________________________________________________ There you go, that was the list of the Top 40/CHR Songs in America and what surprises me the most is that even though some of the songs we're real dogs, other songs really shined, and proved that all popular music isn't that bland and repetitive. Join me next week when I embark on music I know very little about when we tackle the Top 40 Rhythmic Songs in the country. Along the way we'll take a ride with Danity Kane, go Ape with some guy named Jibbs, and discover just what The Yummy Song is.

16. TOO LITTLE TO LATE

JOJO

JoJo has a nice set of pipes and carries herself nicely in this song. The tune is an anthem for girls trying to get over their first love. What I like about the song is that JoJo allows emotion to guide her track. The lyrics on their own are pretty blah, but like any good artist JoJo's emotional singing give them dimension. All in all this is a fine example of a good pop ballad.

15. MONEY MAKER

Ludacris (featuring Pharrell) (explicit)

Ludacris is channeling sir Mix-A-Lot in this ode to fine ladies shaking their butts. The song is disgusting, with Ludacris bragging about the mile high club and well there's a whole line in there about swimming that reduces love making to ewww.

I understand that people like songs like these. I'm not sure why. But in the past tunes like these would be totally tongue-in-cheek and Ludacris is far to serious a performer. It makes him sound skeevy.old man. This tune leaves a bad taste in my mouth and makes me want to take a shower.

14. BREAK IT OFF

Rihanna (featuring Sean Paul) (explicit)

My favorite moment in this song is the when Sean Paul says"Pumba Pumba." why? well for the most part I'm not quite sure what the heck Sean Paul is talking about and "Pumba Pumba" is just a really funny thing to say.

It's a long time now me wha plow de sile
Plow de sile meh car run run like de nile
And de most energy meh whan gi her tonight
Give her tonight
Gan make she feel right
Make she fly like a kite that reach a new height
Ah we give it to de gyal dem
Make dem reel up and bawl
And make dem start call

Now can anyone tell me what language this part of verse one is in. Did Sean Paul write this out on paper or did he just come up with lyrics like this off the top of his head? This song also suffers from Sean Paul's rapping overshadowing Rihanna (for full disclosure purposes her summer single Pon De Replay is one of my all time favorite songs) who's left to repeat the same innocuous chorus about dancing seductively around Sean Paul.

The beat is nice, and the song while full of double entendre still makes you want to dance. It's a shame it doesn't let Rihanna shine, she's one of the few genuine R&B talents out there and to reduce her to window dressing for Sean Paul is annoying and sad. PUMBA, PUMBA!

13. HURT

CHRISTINE AGUILERA

Christina Aguilera has always been an enigma to me. I must admit that when her first album was released I more than once came close to buying it. I couldn't stand any of the music but I could tell there was a talented girl behind all those stupid pop songs. It's nice that she's finally starting to release music that fit her voice, range, and attitude.

Hurt is a song about the loss of a loved one and Christina give it just the right amount of vocal magic. She doesn't merely sing the song, she uses her voice and inflection to match the song and the instruments measure to measure. Her voice becomes one of the instruments, and this single lets her shine. It's a sad song but very pleasing to listen to.

12. IT ENDS TONIGHT

All American Rejects

All American Rejects have carved out a little niche in the musical landscape and this latest single is a nicely crafted rock ballad. On the surface the song feels like another break-up song, but the lyrics are ambiguous enough that I could be a tune about fighting with inward demons.

A falling star Least I fall alone. I can't explain what you can't explain. Your finding things that you didn't know I look at you with such disdain The walls start breathing My minds unweaving Maybe it's best you leave me alone. A weight is lifted On this evening I give the final blow.

I like the smart lyrics and I've always loved the use of piano in rock and roll. I also kind of like that the song is a little bit ambiguous. It give the song a lot more weight when you start to think about. BRAVO!

11. WHAT GOES AROUND...COMES AROUND

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE

Wow, what is it with this chart and break-up songs. Justin Timberlake's addition to the list is both the longest (clocking in at almost 7 minutes) and least original. It features another repetitive chorus and a rhyme scheme that keeps the song from rising out of the glum feeling it leaves you with.

A shorter running time and removal of the final verses would have made the song a much more interesting tune. But five minutes in and I wanted to turn the darn thing off. I almost did, but my journalistic integrity kept me from doing that. The sad thing is that this song shows up on a few other charts so I'll get to listen to it many, many times. Where's a radio edit when you need one?

10. Far Away

Nickelback

Far Away is Nickelback's addition to the Middle School dance anthem. I envision two youngsters falling in love under a disco ball while some bad DJ in a cheap tuxedo sets the mood while cuing up The Cha-Cha Slide.

Nickelback's songs aren't bad they're just really plain, like dry cereal, sure it tastes good but there's some vital ingrediant missing. In Nickelback's case it's some creativity.

9. WALK AWAY (REMEMBER ME)

Paula DeAnda (Featuring The Dey)

Paula just go back to your old man it's obvious that you too want to be together, so stop walking away and steal your man back. This story of unrequited love isn't really my cup of tea, but the song is interesting enough to keep me listening.

Paula DeAnda is an artist I don't really know that much about, but if she keeps up this kind of music she's got a future. The song showcases her vocal range and her guest The Dey does well to compliment her R&B sound. For what it's worth I liked this song.

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Join me tomorrow when we finish the list. We'll discover what it's like to Kiss an Angel even though our new girlfriend is in the next room, we'll delve into Akon's sick mind, and we'll get an education in the wrong way to spell the word Tasty. I'm David-Licious!

24. THIS AIN'T A SCENE, IT'S AN ARMS RACE

FALL OUT BOY (Explicit)

According to wikipedia,

"The song is reportedly about lyricist/bassist Peter Wentz's frustration with the ever growing 'Emo scene'." I know that most of that whiny Emo music sucks but it no use taking it out on your audience.

Honestly I liked the music, it very elaborate, but the lyrics themselves are faux clever, because they add up to nothing of any substance. It's as if Wentz came up with a really cool title, and tried to build the song around it. Honestly if I hear the lines " This ain't a scene, it's a g@d-damn arms race one more time I'm gonna shove my head in the oven and turn on the gas.

I understand your frustration with those whiny EMO guys but come on!

23.THROUGH GLASS

STONE SOUR

Last year I started seeing commercials for yet another song compilation CD. This CD featured every innocuous Alternative rock song from The Cranberries to Dishwalla, and Vertical Horizon to Fuel. Something tells me a few years from now this tune will join those ranks. It's your typical "alt"-rock tune, with its high school poetry style lyrics and a pretty cool guitar driven bridge.

Years from now I'll hear this song and it will bring me back to 2006-07. Just like The Cranberries harken me back to 1992. I won't remember the band Stone Sour but I'll remember the song. I'm not knocking them, I don't remember who wrote that "Breakfast at Tiffany's" song either, but it still brings me back.

 

22.SAY GOODBYE

CHRIS BROWN

Chris Brown is the biggest Jerk on the planet. He wants to dump his lady but he's trying to let her down easy. So we get to listen in on the worst break-up in history. His first reason for the break up, is that "[Brown's] gotta figure out what I need." the second reason "Cuz I really don't feel the way I once felt about you." Then he proceeds to tell the young lady not to hate him or to cry.

Okay so the guys being honest, at least he wants to get out of this relationship before he's married, unhappy, with 10 kids, and even though this is kind of dirty and underhanded I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

But then he pulls out the second worst break up line in history (the first by the way is "that it's just not Gods will") "Girl, it's not you it's me." He dumps the line in at the end of the song as if he thinks he can get away with it.

Who does Chris Brown think he is? If I were the girl he's dumping I'd slap him across the face and then find a better guy. You Chris Brown are no Puff Daddy

21.SHORTIE LIKE MINE BOW WOW

FEAT. CHRIS BROWN (Explicit)

Bow Wow loves his lady. He loves the fact that she's short. In fact he calls her shortie and that's an endearing pet name. NOT!!! (man that's so 1992)

Then I discovered something, Chris Brown wrote this song and also provides the smooth soul singing on the Chorus. Ah ha, I'll bet Chris Brown wrote this tune and then he realized that he didn't love Shortie anymore, so he wrote the above mentioned Say Goodbye and handed Shortie over to Bow Wow (no not the 80's "I Want Candy" Bow Wow, this is the Bow Wow who used to be called 'Lil Bow Wow but he grew up so now he's just Bow Wow, but I digress).

As for the song it's a little hard to take it seriously because all I can envision is Bow Wow dating a Dwarf, or maybe a Hobbit. I also find it hard to believe that any women would like to be called Shortie. Shortie is the kind of nickname you give your little brother not your girlfriend.

But it's Bow Wow's sincerity that sells the song even though the lyrics are ridiculous.

20.IT'S NOT OVER

DAUGHTRY

He lost on American Idol, he got a record deal and now he's telling the American public how he really feels. "It's Not Over!!" he screams, "America, I should have been the next American Idol and it's killing me."

That's not really what the song is about, but I can dream can't I. For a "Creed"-esque song about a guy trying to save his relationship, it's not that bad. At least the lyrics aren't silly, they're desperately pedestrian, but not at all silly.

19. WELCOME TO THE BLACK PARADE

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE

I can sum this song up in one word: Ambitious. I heard a marching band, guitar's, a few bombs, and a lead singer who screams very loudly, and yet this cacophony of sounds blends together quite nicely.

I'm also surprised at how hopeful the song is. It one of the few modern rock songs that doesn't mire itself in the normally glum Rockstar angst that Kurt Cobain made so popular. This song harkens back and I'm sure is influenced by the best of Queen. I liked this tune.

18. CALL ME WHEN YOUR SOBER

EVANESCENCE

"You never call me when your sober, you only want it cause it's over."

I stand corrected. I assumed that the true creative spark of the band Evanescence disappeared when Ben Moody left the band. But Amy Lee has proven me wrong and this latest single is incredible.

The song is honest, raw, and Amy Lee vocal's scream out to be noticed. I'm dying to hear what's next from this band. Some easily dismiss Evanescene as a fake "goth" band, but I they shouldn't. This is an intelligent moody rock song that works.

 

17. WAITING ON THE WORLD TO CHANGE

John Mayer

John Mayer's brand of music is a nice throwback to that James Taylor, a man alone and his guitar, kind of music. This single is dripping with sincerity even if I'm not quite sure it's that successful a song. The lyrics take jabs at the President, the Iraq war, but he places himself apart from the responsibility of it all.

It's hard for me to look at a star with his worldwide audience acting as if he's powerless to change things. Stop waiting on the world to change "Mr. Mayer" (get it cause his name sorta sounds like Mayor) and use your money and influence to change it.

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Join me tomorrow when we take a look at JoJo, we shake our Money Makers, and ponder just why Christian Aguilera is hurt.