A very interesting article/commentary I found 2day ;)

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"Madonna, Prince, M. Jackson
The last stars
Diego A. Manrique 11/05/2008
Photography by Herb Ritts.

The three met 50 years in the coming months. And still occupy their thrones. They have provoked, have opened doors. The hesitant music business has not been able to create figures to replace these ARTISTS in the popular imagination. This is a journey through the past, present and future of music, in the company of the very personal memories of three confessed fans.

Perhaps they would have preferred that the date passed unnoticed. In the business of popular music, old seems to be the ugliest word: the age is the unprotected flank, where arriving trivial attacks arrive. Forget those simple minds. Everyone is aging the best he can. Neither Prince nor Madonna seem to have dropped his pace, inside or outside the arena; the case of Michael Jackson has other peculiarities, which unfortunately are different from regular tours and albums delivered on time. Even so, Michael has an extraordinary capital: this is one of the most recognizable people on the planet. And all disasters accumulated over the past 20 years, from its physical reconstruction to its liquidity crisis, do not obscure his accomplishments: surely, Jackson has more universal songs that Madonna and Prince together.

In fact, there are more contrasts between them than coincidences. Yes, one could speak of a similar origin: the proletarian americas, lower-middle class. None of them was born with a silver spoon, although neither went through constraints. All grew up in families either fragile or problematic.

Prince Rogers Nelson came to the world in Minneapolis on June 7, 1958. Son of a jazz pianist and a singer, the couple was separated and Prince didn't go well with his stepfather. Similarly hapened, regarding the woman who replaced her dead mother, to Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone, born on August 16, 1958 in a suburb of Detroit. Madonna had the misfortune to be the oldest of a large family, a teenager overwhelmed by tasks of an adult person. While Michael Joseph Jackson was the toy of another troop of kids since he materialized in Gary (Indiana) on August 29, 1958. The mimes did not last long for him: Michael had to deal with the eager expectations of his father, who wanted their children to make a hole in the world of entertainment.

And he succeeded thanks to the powerful machinery of Motown Records: Michael Jackson was already a star when Prince and Madonna still went to school. He succeeded first with his brothers, the dynamic Jackson Five, and his parallel career as a soloist from 1971. In fact, the life experience of Michael is unique. Being a kid he knew the most sordid of black neighborhoods, where the Jackson performed as a novelty, between remnant veteran actors and stripteasers. They say that what he saw there, including some heavy jokes of his brothers, created in him a phobia of sex that can explain some of his miseries.

We are talking about someone who had almost no childhood, someone who joined at 11 years in the olympus of fame and who never left it. Michael has spent four fifths of its existence in a golden bubble, and its connection to the real world has been rather tenuous. All his actions seem calculated to keep climbing to the top, including construction of its highly eccentric character, a creation so successful that it was about to send him to jail.

Some naive believe that those accusations of paedophilia definitively ended his chances of regaining some semblance of the position it had in the eighties, when Thriller made him the the vocalist (and dancer!) ost popular of the Earth. But no, there's always room for a triumphant return: we love the narrative of the shattered hero who, breaking fingernails, go back to the surface after public repentance.

In fact, it is relatively easy for Michael to win back. The music industry works with black producers who bring their knowledge of the latest trends in doses mathematically calculated to shine on the market. Michael has already benefited from this type of mercenaries and could do so again. The problem is that Michael should not be happy to sound like someone from the pile: Thriller and its wonderful predecessor, Off the wall, worked fine as trends synthesizers, and there was a Quincy Jones to boost his findings. In the twenty-first century, with his huge errors of judgement, is hard to imagine a Michael Jackson acting as alchemist.

But you can always go back. Prince demonstrated it when he broke with Warner, the record company in which he had developed the most brilliant part of his career, after a shameful public battle in which even wrote the word "slave" in the face. However, his emancipation has shown to be exemplar. Since 10 years, Prince is not seeking recording contracts: he prefers distribution agreements, signed album by album. He can allow himself irregularities as gifting his last album to readers of a British newspaper, or (he did it in the USA) to the buyers of tickets to see him live.

The fierceness with which Prince fights for his rights is overwhelming. He's involved in litigations with YouTube and eBay to make them stop trading with his music. He has earned the antipathy of their most devoted fans by requiring removal of any photo, cover, music or lyrics subjected to copyright from their websites. He is so sure of his powers that can allow himself to irritate the hardcore of his audience.

Prince's economic base are his concerts. At least in his country, he avoided to use intermediaries: he is the promoter of his own tours, rents large arenas and lets Internet to disseminate the news. He gets profit from his liking of playing live: he exploits his jam sessions, which take place after the concert, in clubs who pay dearly for the privilege. This system allows an unusual flexibility.

He's even thinking of staying in Las Vegas: instead of travelling searching his public, he demands that the pagans travel to see him. He did it last summer: 21 nights in a London venue. It worked, as their followers know that he uses to have extremely eclectic bands. A concert by Prince can surprise even the usual follower, something impossible in other superstars, completely planned from start to finish.

What makes Prince great is the confluence of archetypes. First, he acts as itinerant musician, as the legendary bluesman and jazzmen. Second, he resembles that myth of total genius: he dominates the secrets of the study, can record in total solitude, is extraordinarily prolific, and can express himself in many musical languages. Thirdly, he sells himself as perfect lover, even now, when he has renounced to his libertine fantasies.

However, he was overshadowed during his triumphal eighties by Michael stardom. Prince also generated a mystical mist around him, but his mystery dwarfed beside the imperial megalomania of Jackson: his fantasies were easier to digest, with his private paradise (Paisley Park, combination of residence and workplace), an alleged harem, his control of the means of production, his particular club. It is funny that such an hedonistic finished becoming Jehovah's Witness, a member of a church that had the Jackson family among its devotees. The coincidences do not stop: one of the sons of Michael is nicknamed Prince, and another is called -actually!- Prince Michael Jackson II.

Relations between Prince and Michael have been distant and full of suspicion. By contrast, Prince has entered cautiously on the planet Madonna, with whom he has collaborated. That should not surprise: Madonna has a deficit in the music side and is open to transfusion of talent, provided she regulates the flow. In fact, the great work of the material girl is her own career, and there she has made moves that Prince has failed to conclude successfully. The purple boy had to endure that Warner closed the tap to feed his particular label, Paisley Park Records, while the same multinational finished buying the part of Madonna in her successful record company, Maverick Records.

And there is the cinema. Prince has abandoned its claims in this field after his failings as director in Under the cherry moon (1986) and Graffiti Bridge (1990), two flimsy movies at his service. On her side, Madonna has failed to establish herself as respectable actress, but remains in the battle: supervises her successive documentaries just premiered as director with Filth and wisdom.

It happens that singer is a little definition for Madonna. She is a vedette, a luminaire of show business whose main product is herself and her astonishing life. That is the least rock and roll in the world: it belongs to the generation of nightclubs, people who considered the rock as something laughable by its pretension and its machism. Madonna had nothing to do with the rest of those who received the same honor that day: Leonard Cohen, The Ventures, John Mellencamp and the Dave Clark Five.

Madonna was not going to miss this opportunity to shine. Instead of looking for a venerable introducer, she got Justin Timberlake, a lightweight of pop that is at her service in her new album, Hard candy (for more titulus, a former boyfriend of a competitor, Britney Spears). Then, she released a lengthy speech in which she had a special remembrance for those who doubted about her art: "Those who said I had no talent, that was chubby, that could not sing, that was not going to get more than a success, pushed me to do it better".

The bitterness may be part of the fuel that feeds Madonna, the rest is called certainly ambition. That combination is evident in their encounters with the press. Unlike Prince or Michael Jackson, fawns who avoid interviews, Madonna finds delight in intimidating the journalists. She doesn't even conceal her contempt for the interrogator: she does not descend to explain or discuss, her deal is to impose her reasons with a sufficiency gesture. For more intimidation, she is backed by her press chief, Liz Rosenberg, who works in silence from a corner of the room.

Her ego is so huge as her dedication. She spends 24 hours a day to devise plans and sculpt her main instrument, her body. The secret of her career lies in its constant reinvention, a process for which she has the most skillful designers, photographers, stylists, video, choreographers and so on.

Her metamorphosis gives headaches to analysts who attempt to decode her reincarnations. What amazing courage that of Madonna: the explorator of sexual taboos becomes author of children's stories, the hater of Catholicism becomes devoted of Kabbalah, the propagandist of carpe diem has spasms of political activism. All the paradoxes you want: the irreverent Yankee that is recycled in starched British lady, the disc girl who adopts the way of confessional singer-songwriters, the queen of the video clip which prohibits their children watch television.

Such capacity for regeneration explains that Madonna has not suffered serious downturns. If encountered in any project, usually film, immediately she reappears with a powerful image or a sticky album. If she does not have any product to sell, she tells the world about a dazzling contract with Warner, M & M or Live Nation (her second triumphant career is that of business woman). Besides she has invaluable aids: when her work runs in routine, the Vatican spokesmen, the orthodox judaism or some NGO claims against her, outraged by her adoption of an African orphan (which proved to have father). And it all starts again with global entertainment: who is, what is the aim of this woman.

In fact, the triad of Madonna, Prince and Michael remains because it comes from an era in which the figures had charisma. Now artists are miniaturized: they come across a window on our computer, his music is lost in the bowels of our MP3 players. The current stars discover that it is impossible to keep an enigma when their lives are monitored seven days a week for the needs of industry voyeurism, which provides raw materials to a million blogs and easy-living columnists. Without this enigmatic element is hard to maintain the fascination.

All three arrive at age 50 with solid finances. Sorry, we should also apply here the exception for Michael, the more inclined to waste. But Jackson has the cushion of his happy investments of the eighties, when he got the editorial rights of the Beatles and other artists in a move. With such a machine to make money without sweating, he can allow himself not to exploit the main quarry of their peers: live performances. Even so he may be forced to return to the road in the coming days.

Michael would do well to take lessons from Mick Jagger, an occasional friend he despises due to his lacking voice. But even in their sixties, the Rolling Stones lead the statistics of gross revenues per performances. At the end, the sentence sung by the young Aaliyah will be true: "Age ain't nothing but a number". She wore that "Age is nothing but a number" to justify their love with R. Kelly, a higher age. Now it can be applied to other cases: this summer we can see Leonard Cohen, a gentleman of 73 years, the leading at festivals for twenties. By comparison, those born in 1958 look like some kids."

" I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they go right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart, so that better things can fall together. "

-Marilyn Monroe


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......Not my words, of course...........but some good ones 2 remember, nonetheless :)

Eye just wanted 2 thank everybody who either called or left myspace/facebook love 4 me on my birthday.  Eye really apprieciate it. :)  Eye read each and every one of u're messages and eye just wanted 2 thank each and everyone of U.......U guys rock! :)

Oh....what a circus this semester has become! *shakes head*

So....where do eye even begin?  Eye suppose eye should just reinerate (for the initiated) that I am completely, totally and utterly sorry for all the unnessary pain and aggrivation that I have caused all of my closest of closest this semester since being back from Oz.....

DOnt know what the hell eye'm talking about?  Well....if U dont, then consider U'reself among one of the lucky ones.

2 put it nicely...Christy's been Waaaaaaaay off this semester......big time.  
2 put it a little more truthfully (and pretty much ver batum how my roomate Misty described my behavior this semester)....eye've been a petty immature attention whore......

....guilty as charged.

Look.....this is not me attempting to cop a plea for anyone's sympathy.  Eye'm long past deserving that from anyone.....but as a part of me trying 2 peice what eye can of my life  (and friendships) back 2gether......get better....and move on with life....eye've decided 2 begin blogging/writing down my thoughts again for the world 2 see again. Honestly, eye really just want 2 document how much of a horrible person eye have become now, so when eye get well again......eye can look back at everything eye've done  as a learning experience that accually wass a part of  bettering my life instead of just exclusively tearing everything and everyone away from me that matters......

Hey....perhaps that's all just wishful thinking,....but hey it couldnt hurt, eh?


Oh...and yeah, you read that right when eye said "When I get well again".   I mean that as in, "eye'm sick now".......as in I feel that I am  mentally and emotionally sick (which , btw, is something eye am currently seeking professional help for) ....and of course eye only have myself 2 blame 4 that.    While eye was in Australia....eye'll admit that eye definately lost my way somewhat......eye started 2 forget what's important and what my priorities are/shoudld be.  So.....by the time eye got back here.....eye just sort of continued not dealing with my emotions, my priorities, and whatever else is making me feel like crap.......and in turn, wouldnt let my friends (who really all did more than they should to try and keep my head above water) .........therefore making everyone completely confused....making myself confused and pushing everyone away.

....yup....eye think that pretty much sums things up........or does it?


Oh no....it gets worse....

If U add 2 the fact that somewhere along the way, the switch in my brain that flips back from "mature adult/ immature crying child" ....well then.  Things just got a lot more fun there, didnt they?  

So not only have eye been completely confused, listless and lazy...but eye've been trowing trantrums that a 2 year old would be proud of.  

...am *EYE* proud of my actions?  Of course not.....but this is reality being documented here.....so.....

Oh...and of course there the jealousy....ya know?  THis is where eye decide somewhere in my head that no one really loves me and that everyone hates me and become jealous of practically every single accomplishment or any gains that  my friends have made since eye have been away......

Funny how if eye would have accually been thinking clearly....eye would have speant more time staying on task with my *OWN* life and wellfare and not been so hung up with trying 2 be as awesome as someone else....eye *MAY* just have accomplished something on my own this  semester that would have rivaled any one of my friend's accomplishments.........not 2 mention the fact that they would all still be talking 2 me because eye wouldnt have been so busy wallowing in my own self pity 2 realize that they deserve credit 4 being kick ass as much eye eye do......

.......Which leads me 2 the question that is probably going 2 haunt me for a long......long time 2 come.....

...What the hell *did* happen 2 me in between being in Australia and now whiched caused me 2 be such a disgrace?

B4 Australia....eye was (mostly) calm, confidnent, outspoken, and very very happy.

Eye go 2 Australia (which should have been the greatest time of my life...and in some ways it was) and eye come back seriously depresssed, jealous, angry, hurting, lonely, overly mean......and also very lazy and unfocused (most likely because eye've been burning up way 2 much energy being a bitch 2 everyone eye love).

So what *Did* happen?

You know what.....eye dont think that even if U gave me a million dollars that eye'd be able 2 really give any of you a clear cut answer.....which is beyond scary 4 me, btw.   

Eye seriously dont know (looking back in retrospect) what went wrong with me.......


All eye know now is that  because of whatever it is.....eye've hurt everyone that eye call "family".  Eye've pushed so many people away uneccessarily, Eye've hurt a lot of feelings,  eye've ruined my reputation with most people as anything other than a rotton human being....and eye've also pretty much caused any progress eye had made 2 this point as a person or a student 2 grind to a sudden and startling halt.


Good Job, Christy, Good Job.... :(

What happened 2 me?  Eye dont know.....eye really dont....

What eye do know is that first and foremost, eye am sorry 2 everyone who has been hurt by my words or my actions.  Eye realize that sorry doesnt make up at all for how eye've been treating people....but it's best way that eye know how 2 start (and btw....if u are one of my 6th street fam, or otherwise someone else who eye have upset somehow over the course of the semester, eye welcome any inviatations to come and speak with me in person about everything and 2 have people give me a peice of their mind.  Eye know...eye deserve worst than that).

Beyond that....what eye also know is that eye need 2 work on myself before it become 2 late 2 save myself, my career prospects or what's left of my bruised friendships.   Part of me getting help (and helping myself) is going 2 be in the form of me getting some counseling ....so maybe in the future eye can go up 2 every single last person that eye have negatively effected and at least give you all better insight in2 what caused me 2 snap a teather this semester......



Besides that...eye am doing all eye can and working double time to re-organize my life, prioritize things in my life, and beyond everything else, keep promisees 2 myself and find a way 2 forgive myself for things that cannot be changed.


Forgiving myself is probably going 2 be the toughest part of all.....because for all intents and purposes, eye'm incredibly disgusted with myself...as eye should be.

Eye've been a really bad person this semester.....and for all intents and purposes, *NO ONE* should still be sticking by me.....*NO ONE*.

As sorry as eye am, and as horrified as eye am at myself for what eye have done to everyone...eye cannot even begin 2 express how completely thankful eye am for the friends that eye have who *have* stuck by me....and who even stuck by me when eye was just complelely scraping the bottom of the barrel of how you can treat people.....

Eye do want 2 thank the few and the proud who didnt walk away........maybe in time , as eye continue 2 figure out what really went wrong and re-gain eveything back that makes me me.......everyone else will follow suit....

....eye can only hope at this point......but eye guess it never hurts 2 dream.


What can eye say tho......when it comes down 2 having friends at all (which is a damn miricle)...eye'm one lucky bitch.  Only luck would leave me with such amazing friends after all the hell eye've put them through.......


You know....in the past, Eye have always prided myself on the fact that no matter what.....part of my personality and personal strength has been derieved from the fact that eye have never been afraid or ashamed of going on forums such as face book or the blog on myspace , shedding every layer of my soul (all the good and the bad) and being honest and open about myself to myself and to all of you....

This semester.....eye've certainly lost that diolouge with myself...and the courage that it takes to say "Yeah.....eye've fucked these parts of my life up, but eye've learned from them....so what are you going 2 do about it now?".

Eye've become a coward and have lost all that open-ness, compassion and dignity that makes me the person that eye've worked so hard 2 become. Somewhere along the line..... I forgot that life is not some sort of crazy melodrama in which problems can be solved in 15 minutes (plus commerials) and always with that sappy sitcom music playing in the background........it's life, and life has real problems and real things that we as individuals have 2 figure out (such as work, home, school) and not the crazy made up problems that my mind has concocted for me over the course of this past year........

Life is not a melodrama....it's just life.  You're suppost 2 live it.....not let it trample all over you or pass you by......and certainly, your not suppost 2 make a spectical out of it.

....That's how you miss out on life in the end.......that's also how you lose true friendships (which should always be sacred).


Damn.....maybe eye would have figured all of this out sooner........eye wouldnt have 2 deal with the shame that comes with hurting your loved ones......but the only thing eye can do at this point is try 2 make ammends with  those who want 2 accept my appology and take another chance on me.......and for those who don't, well, ...that's just my loss.


Then it's up 2 me 2 start peicing my own life back 2gether ....so maybe eye can get 2 a point where eye'm able 2 live my life and be proud of who eye am and how far eye've come........


....So, lets begin........

....Yeah...eye'll explain that last one in a bit ;)


In any case.......wow....what an ironic day 2 write a new blog, huh?  Eye suppose this is about as good a day as any.....

So lately, eye've been sort of looming in and out of things.......somewhere between being a productive student/adult and a complete and utter recluse.  Eye keep having my good days and bad days (emotionally) and eye've been starting 2 wonder if eye'll ever just go back 2 being my normal, natural, enthusiasticly happy self.

Eye'm progressing towards that........at an achingly slow pace......but at least eye'm progressing nonetheless ;)

The newest happenings in my life have largely been centered around improving my own sad little state of mind and finding a new jobby job.......which is made  extra complicated by the whole depression thing......but hey, eye've gotta push trough it.....

Eye have no choice.

The whole job search thing had pretty much looked completely hopeless up until last Friday when eye sat down with a WOrk study advisor and she informed me that she should be able 2 get me a job....somewhere...on this campus.......

It may not be what eye want 2 do...but eye dont really care at this point.  Eye just want 2 be employed.  The workstudy lady said she would work with me.....

...eye practically had 2 stop myself from jumping across her desk and giving her a great big hug.  It's the best news that eye've heard in quite some time.

Then......eye hear trough the grapevine that the student housekeeping position that eye was let go from due 2 "budget cuts"......now has an opening. 

Even though eye have workstudy as an open option.....eye really liked my job as a housekeeper (believe it or not) and eye knew that eye could get at least 10 more hours housekeeping than any workstudy job could offer me....so eye decided 2 pick my former boss lady's brain about the possition this morning.

SHe tells me that she would love 2 have me back and could have me start working as early as 2night if eye wanted.  However.....she then stopped and asked if eye had any other job prospects.  Eye told her yeah....that eye had an offer from Workstudy.  She goes on 2 explain 2 me that due 2 a lot of new changes in the chain of command....things are quite a bit more hectic (2 put it very mildly) @ that housekeeping job now.  Apparently they have twice the stuff 2 clean and hardly even any time 2 take a berak 4 lunch/dinner.  THey also have a whole other building 2 clean now.


My former boss (a nice lady, after all) just leveled with me and told me that she would love 2 hire me back...but that she wanted me 2 think long and hard about what eye was getting in2 b4 eye made a descion on it.....due 2 the fact that all the work and the fact that they are still so short staffed could greatly affect my progress in school......(and my mental wellbeing, 4 that matter).

Damn.....it's bad when it's so bad that even U're ex boss is giving U an out......regardless of how short staffed she is.  Eye apprieate greatly her being worried about me....but now ths leaves me witha hard desision 2 make.  Take the workstudy job, get  around 20 hrs, probably a cushier job and still have time 2 complete homework and socialize without going nuts......*OR*....go back 2 housekeeping with around 30hrs  , be over worked, never be home, and run the risk of not completeing asssignments and failing out of WCU.

Eye dunno....U'd think it would be simple 4 me 2 just go and pick option A).......but eey'm really kinda torn.   Part of me thinks eye can honestly handle the extra work of housekeeping plus class (EYe handled housekeeping and LMP back 2 back......sorta.......right? ;)

EYe dunno tho.  My ex boss really needs help....she needs an extra student....but like eye said, it's bad when even she's telling me 2 run as far as eye can away from housekeeping towards something better.  Damn.....what the hell is going on??

So....have eye made a desison yet?   No.....not yet......but eye have 2 come 2 a definate desision by sometime 2morrow morning.

It's 6:24pm now.

Eye'll let ya'll know how that all pans out.....

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In other news.....eye have kinda a funny/ strange/ shocking happening happen 2 me yesterday morning.

So.....eye'm sitting around in my normal seat @ the back of my "Philosphy of Art" class.  It's about 10am and the professor is passing out our   1st quiz (which , btw,.....eye failed, which sucks, but is not the point of this particular antedote ;)

Anywho....so eye'm minding my own business.  All of a sudden, eye feel a tappa tappa, tappa on my left sholder. 

EYe'm expecting it 2 be one of my friends randomly wantng my attention or something......

SO eye look up (just like any normal human being would if they were tapped on the sholder from behind) and before eye can even say anything.....a guy friend of mind (more like a friendly face that eye've talked to about art some in passing, but honestly cant even 4 the life of me, remember his name!) leans over me, plants a kiss on my forehead and then wordlessly walks 2 his seat in the row in front of me and sits down as if nothing ever happened......


WHAT?!

Yeah.....if U think that's a bit unusual/off.....imagine *my* surprise!.  It was just crazy.......he kisses me, with no kind of warning and  dissapears just as quickly.......no words....no nothing.  What the hell?!

Perhaps eye'm just reading *WAY* 2 much in2 this (which as we all know, eye'm very  good at)...*BUT*....Is it just me or is that a tad odd? 

Especially since it's not even like he's one of my tight circle of friends/ sixth street fam.  He's just a random guy that eye've seen around......and he just randomly kisses me?  Hmmm.....

Complicating things in my head is.....well (not 2 sound mean, so eye hope no one takes it that way) but lets just say that my own personal Christy "Gay-dar" had already went off around him.  Eye'm not saying that gay is a problem....it just makes me even more confooosed as 2.....well.....what the eff, man! *blushes*

Maybe he is....maybe he isn't....but in either case, it more caught me off gaurd than anything else. 

Eye cant even say that it wasnt a pleasent surprise......(hey , he has soft lips...haha ;).

Eye just want 2 know if eye'm going crazy or did eye just have an *Extremely* unsual moment in my art lecture?

Eye have that class again 2morrow with him.  Maybe he'll explain himself 2morrow.....

...or maybe eye may have 2 do a little prodding...........haha ;)

*2 Be continued....*