I rarely update this and see little point in doing so other than keeping in touch with a handful of people less than my list leads people to believe.

Life happens, things pick up for a lot of people and mine is no different albeit a bit more rocky and windy than some would probably observe.

 We tend to look at our pasts with rose colored glasses. As many of
us grow up, we start to see people and perhaps the things we loved from
more than just one side. I've seen my parents more as flawed, yet strangely accepting human beings rather than the unquestionable guardian figures when they once towered me. What I used to defined makes a good person is constantly reconfigured throughout my life. More than ever can I find that even though schools teach objectivity, professionals such as politicians, CEOs and people who CLAIM they are open-minded but don't live up to their word.
 
 To this day I wish my mind was a bit more awakened when that man Chike McCloyd covered the topic of "transcendentalism" because that seems to be a recurring theme in my life. Crossing paths and barriers that are beyond the grasp of social political expectations. Ergo, I am a black man and I am expected to act, and be of a certain character to fufill a role. In a nutshell, transcendentalism is ACTUAL belief of individuality rather than society's expectations of it. Therefore, the choice to be myself is not decided by others, but an awakening.

 When I was a teenager, I often feared I'd make choices that would piss a lot of people off or make me feel like an idiot. Having little confidence can do that. Choices such as "what kind of girl I would date", "what career path will I make", "how will I use my talents", "what stories will I make" or "what and who do I stand up for". Guess I was screwed because that ended up happening whether I wanted to or not. The difference in the 10 years since I was 14 is that I will stand by said choices.

 Whether I'm working at a place that built the new Academy of Sciences, color erotic fanart, listen to ANIMU music or staff an anime convention perhaps I have a little bit of an inkling in how I want to live the rest of my life. Perhaps few understand my life or believe they can justify why my choices are "wrong".

 Even deeper, some of my motives and morals aren't as cut and dry as people would like to believe. In a figurative manner, I've learned to embrace the "monster" that I see in the mirror. I've become what I thought I was supposed to hate, but instead found myself in a very sympathetic and argumentive position for the erotic artists, the anti-religious and pro-choice crowd. No I'm not broken, but telling some of you exactly what I am may lead you to believe I'm the Devil himself.

There's nothing wrong in having an ego, unlike what people say and their self righteous drivel about being "humble". If you exist, prove it with everything you have because you only have one life. That's my defense, what the hell is yours? Yeah I can keep my ego in check most of the time and some tell me I use it for the greater good. I'll humbly accept. HA! See what I did there? I would encourage most of you to ask yourselves what "opinions" and
"individuality" truly mean. I feel most of you only submit the most
insane label of them all and that's called being considered "normal". Are you a person or are you tied to your race, chained to your religion and bounded by what your family or peers tell you to do?
I've severed most of those ridiculous ties for the benefit of my mind, to me that IS freedom.

 There are things I've observed that bother my "awakened mind", Some idiots willing to KILL a man my age just because they can't argue properly with his IDEAS. It's ridiculous that those people that oppose him claim to be in the right.when their only justification is to beat and murder the guy to silence him. It's amazing how the things school teaches you are easily abhorred when it comes to having an argument. People find a cheap means to knock a person down with such a closed mind. Somehow being a gamer is a turn off to some women, people find it DISGUSTING how a grown man can enjoy cartoons or collect figures and some hiring firms will JUDGE you by things you post online. Who's the adult in that situation? The answer may shock you. 

 That being said, we live in a crazy world and it's even crazier about the type of peers I WISH I had growing up. It's funny how people never give the internet that much credit in a distinction from real life. I mean most of us chose Myspace to supplement our otherwise boring objective driven adult lives in hopes it would drive up more social activity from the point we go through and hopefully graduate college, catching up with friends and acquaintances from High School.

 Now I'm not trying to say people like Anatoly, Rod, Marlo, Wael, Ingrid, Melvin, Ken, David, Chris, Sean, Yuki, Apollo, Blair (both of them), Melissa, Colin, Aaron, Nathan and Patrick were utter wastes because I owe a lot to them. I'd practically be "sleeping" to this day if not for them. Although I can also say many of them have their own lives to tend to, being the responsible adults they are and if I can I'd spend more time with them...and should they have Skype my username is "KeijiKG" *wink, wink*

 However somehow my life has a bit of a new dimension or layer that I'd THOUGHT I would have experienced in college. There were people that nurtured my "true" self. The part of me that would appear to be more of a pariah religiously AND ethnically. The part that lives as a person and not some "slave" (and how I choose to define the word would piss off a lot of you, but let's just say it involves living in a special type of fear).  In a way, it's helped me come to terms with accepting certain concepts my false masculinity would have NEVER embraced. Friendship IS Love. Friendship will have it's conflicts but it's going to be tested. I don't think I would have EVER told a friend I loved them up until now because it's definition has been extended to me by others.

 In this modern day, I owe a lot to Emile, Andrew, Kristina, Mike, Sarah, Stephen, David (different David), Josh, Jim, Daniel, Stephane, Carl, Thiana, James and many others to name who either helped me or allowed me to help them. They like me for me, not for what role I'm supposed to take on or fill and for that I CAN say with conviction that I love them like family (and likewise for the above friends).because I've learned a lot from them.

 No, I've observed a little bit more than you want to believe. It's strange how my life would have turned out had I made different choices, grown up differently and maybe observed things from a different perspective there was a good chance I'd have not met any of them or saw that even a "nerd's" life has its own beauty.

That and I might have married unhappily to a bible thumper, but I'm glad that's neither here nor there.

This probably isn't good bye but to those of you that know where to stay in touch with me good. I choose not to disclose that to anyone else.

Preliminary Guest List: Johnny Yong Bosch, MacHall, Richard Epcar...

okay, so the black Power Ranger that voiced Ichigo and Lelouch will be there as well as Bobobo and Bateau's voice actor.

 Let me get my fangirl baton...

Motherfucking Punch Out is confirmed for the Nintendo Wii bitches!

I applied for a Government Job.

For kicks mostly, but also because the Government pays more generously than minimum wage.

 It's at the FCC and I ASSUME the project has to do with the HDTV "switch" plan what with analog signals dying out and Digital being mainstream. This means all you kids that bought a portable TV or a TV tuner for your GameGear or TurboExpress back in the day, prepare for the ultimate consumer buttfuck of the century.

I'd assume that's what the position is about, as it's a temp job and only lasts until Feb. 2009.

On the plus side, the work DOES promise to be interesting, if I get in.

As for school, doesn't seem to be MUCH on the homework front aside from my Experimental Animation and Photostoryboarding course. On the latter, I would have to set up a date to meet up with some of you SF dwelling folk.

 I pretty much have an idea of how to handle Experimental Animation and there's some materials I STILL haven't acquired (but need teh monies to do so) like a hot glue gun and some brushes to color my plasticine (modeling clay used for animation) models. More to the point, I'll STILL need to spend glorious amounts of time on set building and timing exercises. This will GRADUALLY be the class I'll have to spend the most time on thus far.

A LITTLE behind on my "Analysis of Form" class because...certain factors played against and I EVEN missed a day I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO because the bank sucks when it comes to clearing my cheques and I hate asking others to pawn off their tools/paper...though I suppose for the sake of my grade I probably should have swallowed that pride. Workshops start tomorrow though so I can catch up a little.

Bullard-sensei (she's Japanese, she even drops off a few words the class picks up on so they can be "intimate" with her native culture) helped me out with ellipses. Yeah, Jerry the Douchebag King of Rapid Viz always had to push that "use squares" doctrine. Not that I'm complaining about the previous method, but he didn't explain the rhyme or reason with real life examples on how or why the square warps.

 Truthfully I don't feel that alien to the principles of light and shadow (did this in Rapid Viz and Basic Design), but seeing how I only broke in two pages of a Charcoal Pad, it wouldn't hurt to get my hands even dirtier if it helps me grasp certain drawing concepts...also there were some shading TERMS I was a little green on

Strange how this and my Photostoryboarding "overlap" in terms of concepts.

But yeah, money, I need it. NEED IT!

With all due respect to my (temporarily?) former crewmates at Round Table, I JUST wasn't making a lot of the green there to live (Survive, yes. Live? No!) no matter how much I expressed at meetings how open the rest of my days were.

    Because a lot of you fuckers need to take a good look at the damn mirror.