In case you have been living under a rock, at the bottom of the Marianas trench, with your hands over your eyes and ears, and a small sea creature eating your ear drums from within…They made a Simpsons movie.

How in the world can you expect to live up to the hype of this movie? The Simpsons may be the most influential and iconic television program in the last twenty years, with a rabid group of devoted fans ranging from all ages, genders and backgrounds. Not only are there millions of people to please, but the Simpsons is partially responsible for developing the sense of humor for the most cynical generation ever. They've created a beast and now its time to feed us like we've never been fed before.

I'll make this quick: If you are a fan of The Simpsons, go see this movie. If you have ever seen and episode of The Simpsons and giggled, go see this movie. If you just need a laugh and don't really care for the Simpsons, go see this movie. If you just bought a ticket for "Whose Your Caddy?, don't go see this movie…go shove your face in a hornet's nest then go see this movie (providing you can open your eyes or generate a pulse).

The creators of The Simpsons Movie, pulled off the unthinkable. They lived up to the hype and came pretty close to exceeding it. The Simpsons has always been the smartest animated show as well as one of the most original. Though the movie doesn't rely on witty humor to carry the entire hour and a half, you can see how they have evolved with the times. Without network censors, The movie tap dances along the line of between risqué and raunchy, reminding us why we fell in love with the show and showing us what creators can do with the gloves off.

The Simpsons is by far my favorite show of all time, and I owe them nothing for years of free entertainment. I was not disappointed at all by the transition to the big screen and yes Maggie…a sequel would be excellent.

Some of you are asking yourselves. Who is this handsome devil who has hijacked Derek's Myspace page? Where did he come from? What is this strange urge I have to make out with him?

The majority of you are asking yourselves: Is that a fake mustache or a dead bat on Derek's face?

The answers to all these questions begins and ends...in my pants.

But seriously, Jose is man of deep, rich, almost creepy passion. A passion that flows through his veins and sprouts just beneath his nose and blossoms into a velvety cookie duster. His rugged stubble makes for the perfect face friction when doing the double kiss when meeting a woman. Where does his confidence come from? Some say from the stars themselves. Others say the 4th Boilermaker probably did it. It is of no consequence however, you were born attracted to him.

Jose vs. Derek (narrator): As Peter Parker is to Spiderman, as Bruce Wayne is to Batman as is Derek to Jose Explosivo (faint sound of an explosion in the background). When I'm feeling low, apprehensive, or inebriated I simply reach into my back pocket and pull out the remains of my father's last mustache. The transformation is subtle yet drastic...some call it the "Quiet Storm". Though we share the same mold, we have almost nothing in common.

I've decided to give Jose some much needed face time via Myspace. Talk to him as you would the Pope. Briefly, with confidence and only women may make eye contact.

Its been a minute, but I still have what it takes to review a movie or two. Namely a false sense of superiority, and time on my hands.

Reno 911: Miami

Normally, funny shows get canceled. Due to one of two things. 1. God realizes that I'm actually enjoying something or 2. People are so used to seeing horrible situational comedy (anything on CBS, ABC, NBC or currently running in syndication on TBS) that they can't grasp the fact that there are multiple routes to get a laugh. The guys at Reno have managed to hold on though. The genius is in the simplicity: 1 part sketch comedy 2 parts Cops, bake for 25 minutes and watch the hilarity ensue.

Reno 911: Miami is essentially a hour and a half long episode and it need int be anymore. The plot is simple enough. The group is invited to a police convention in Miami where a biological attack occurs, leaving Miami's finest trapped in a hotel. It is up to the officers of Reno to keep Miami under control until the anecdote is found.

This was one of the funniest movies I've seen in the theater for a long time. I probably should apologize to Melany for my outburst of loud girl like laughter throughout the movie...that had to be embarrassing. Like the show they incorporate a lot of improv into the movie, along with some well written sketches. Most comedies like this have a lull of laughter near the end, but I laughed all the way through. I would like to see Comedy Central convert some of their other programs to the big screen as well. However, the only reason I would ever voluntarily go see Carlos Mencia, would be for a public execution...but seriously, he doesn't deserve the little attention that he gets...die. In summary, solid effort worth a matinée if you are a fan of the show or like sketch comedy, but everyone should rent it when it drops on DVD.


Zodiac:

As a kid and before I really understood the concept of death, I was very intrigued by serial killers. I would always watch whatever news special my dad was veiwing when something about Dahlmer , Bundy or Gasey would come on. Also, during the commercial breaks my dad would try to convince me he shot a man in Reno just to watch him die or that white people didn't defecate. Another story, another time. Though the Zodiac killer was popular before my time, I still had ample opportunity to scare myself thinking that he was never caught and potentially waiting for me in the woods when I would go race sticks down the stream. I had a very boring childhood.

Zodiac is set in San Francisco in the early 70's for the most part. The movie skips ahead months and even years at a time, but still manages to have a running time of damn near three hours. Jake Gyllenhaal plays a cartoonist at the SF Chronicle, who becomes obsessed trying to figure out who the Zodiac killer is. Robert Downey Jr. plays who he always plays...Robert Downey Jr. (must have graduated from the Vince Vaughn school of acting) and Robert Ruffalo has a funny last name...he plays the primary investigator in the movie though.

I hereby declare that you cannot use a director/producer/writer's name to market a movie anymore. Seven is one of my favorite movies ever and Fight Club is a solid movie, but David Fincher may have lost a little. The movie is suspenseful for about the first hour, then you spend the rest of the movie going over clues and hints and introducing random characters, some you will never be able to place a face to. I have a two hour tolerance for movies, then I start to get a little edgy. Into the second hour it got to the point where I wasn't interested in the outcome anymore, because I was starting to look at my watch more than the movie, and we all know what the end result is going to be. Chop off an hour and fine tune the editing, then this movie is good...not great. As is, it feels like a mix of JFK and Seven. Very informative though, if you are into crime investigation movies this may be right up your alley. i would wait for this one to hit NetFlix though.


So there you have it. Please stop by my other blog

www.derekrva.blogspot.com

got some interesting ideas in the work....Did someone say photo shoot? Lester is ready

Link to new blog, please bookmark

I've been thinking about setting up a blog outside of myspace for a long time, but I didn't want to just be another guy spewing his opinions on the interweb. Also, that Time magazine person of the year award gave me a big head (insert joke about the size of my head here). However, I wanted to do something different with it, but could never set aside the time to concept what I could do to make my blog interesting.

Peter Coughter gave our class a semester long assignment in which we had to choose 3 out of 10 activities to work on over the course of the semester. The three I chose were to take a picture everyday (easy enough), create a blog (check) and read a magazine I've never read before each week (Juxtapoz and Spin are two good ones I've started on). I combined this with the idea to use my blog as if it were my sketchbook. If you haven't seen my sketchbook, it has a lot of drawings from me and others, some photoshop work, lyrics from songs I'm listening to and a lot of notes about advertising. I really hate being the center of attention, so please stop by and leave a comment or if you have a blog I will gladly link you on my page. The best part about my sketchbook is that its not just me. I love it when other people create something in my book and it would be awesome if I could get that element in the new blog.

I started blogging just to become a better writer and figure out how to integrate my sense of humor into my writing. I believe that I've gotten better and now its time to see how creative I can be. Most of my energy with go into fine tuning my new blog, but I will probably reserve myspace for movie reviews and the like. If you aren't blogging, or using flickr or by any other means neglecting the world of your thoughts, I invite you to come contribute to my blog or even start your own. its a fun way to get to know yourself better.

Robots, Skulls and Squids

So both the Baseball and Rock and Roll Halls of Fame added inductees this week and let's just say there were a few errors. Therefore I briefly want to make some recommendations for people/bands, these two institutions overlooked this year.

Baseball Hall of Fame

Who Got in:
Tony Gwynn: No arguments here, the baseball gods were against this guy his entire career, for Christ's sake he damn near hit .400 for an entire season but ended up hitting .394 in a season tjat was cut short due to a player strike. One of the greatest hitters in baseball and proving that chubby black guys can do more than forecast the weather and play villains in Conan movies.

Cal Ripken Jr. : Big surprise, all he did was redefine what it meant to be a shortstop. Also, he probably benefited from that accident during his visit to a nuclear power plant that left him indestructible. Go O's.

Notable Rejections:
Mark "Big Mac" McGwire: There is an old saying in sports "If you aren't cheating you aren't trying and its only cheating if you get caught". Though he only tested positive for an over the counter steroid, but the writers have spoken and it's a no go for the Android the first time around. Way to play yourself in front of Congress with that "I'm not here to talk about the past." nonsense. Granted him talking about the past would be enchanting tales of steroid induced reach-arounds him and Jose Canseco gave each other back in Oakland. Speaking of Canseco...





Who I voted for:
Tim Raines: Yeah he stole a lot of bases and was one of the best leadoff hitters in the majors but he is also the butt of one of my favorite baseball jokes: Why did Tim Raines always slide head-first? So he wouldn't break the crack pipe in his back pocket. Classic.

Dennis Eckersley's mustache: Sure Ecks is in, but lets face it he was riding the success of that whale tail above his lip. A mighty fine cookie duster indeed that not only deserves a bust, but its own wing. My only fear is that Cooperstown may already have a push broom.



The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

Congrats to R.E.M and Van Halen, but to me the most notable inductee this year was Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five. My first and strongest love in regards to music is hip-hop, but I am unforgivably ignorant of anything older than Public Enemy or De La Soul. However, I do know that Grandmaster Flash was one of the pioneers in modern dj techniques (scratching, sampling etc.). I heard that their first big show was opening up for The Clash. They were booed off stage while the audience threw trash at them. Hip-hop has come a long way since then, and its due to bands like these that kept doing what they were doing. On the other hand they made it possible for people like Baby and Lil Wayne to make horrendously uninspired music while they make out. Dem niggas got broke wrists yo!


Who I voted in:




Dare I say..devastating.

Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

Sure this movie is considered a classic and needs no further judgment, especially not from a twenty-something grad student who should really be working on his portfolio instead of making another nonsensical blog post. However, I've been trying to see this movie for years and I finally go around to it…and its my blog jerk so back off!

Synapses: Set in the beginning of the Cold War, a fleet of airborne American bombers is given the command to drop a payload of hydrogen bombs on key targets inside Russia. They set to carry out their new mission believing that the United States has come under attack, but unbeknownst to the bombers the orders have been given by General Jack D. Ripper who has gone quite mad. Stateside the pentagon's War Room is trying to figure out how to recall the squadron of bombers or to seize this opportunity to take out Russia.

My opinion or: How I learned to never question Stanley Kubrick: I've been a huge Kubrick fan ever since I saw Full Metal Jacket which is still my favorite war movie (excluding Ernest Goes to Beirut). Dr. Strangelove takes a horrifying topic like a potential nuclear war and manipulates it into an incredibly humorous story. I had no idea this movie was a dark comedy, but I figured it out after I lost consciousness from laughing. Easily one of the best films I've ever seen. Every actor is on point, especially Peter Sellers who plays three different roles. Sort of like Eddie Murphy in The Nutty Professor, but without a five-minute flatulence scene (which may be Dr. Strangelove's only downfall). If you are into older movies or dark comedy, I advise you put this movie on your Netflix or at least check for it next time you to rent a movie, though it can also be found currently on Comcast On Demand under Free Movies.


The Nintendo Wii:
If you know me at all, you understand my unhealthy obsession with video games. I've been a gamer since Mike Tyson's Punch-Out in the late 80's (about the same time when I thought I could kick my coke habit, its funny what we learn to live with). However, for the last couple of years I've become more or less bored and have been living off of Madden and Halo. It's a hell of a thing to be disillusioned to a scene I've witness outgrow the movie industry (my other obsession). Even with the next generation of consoles I haven't been very interested. However, this wayward sheep has hope that an electronic savior will come to save the day. Friends the messiah of gaming is here and I sing its praise.

The Nintendo Wii is a totally innovative and refreshing approach to gaming. The controllers for the system (referred to as Wii motes) use buttons and a joystick like other systems, but the motion sensors really make the difference. For example, when playing golf you swing the Wii mote like you would a golf club and the sensors pick up the speed of your motion to determine the power behind your swing. Games become extremely intuitive and actually make you get off the couch to play. The first thing I noticed is how easily people who don't play video games can pick it up and really get into the games. Not only did I get my roommate Brandon to play a video game I got to punch him in the face without ruining our friendship.

Overall, I'm excited about gaming again (just what I needed going into one of the most important eras in my life and career). I have to learn how to play again, my experience in games like Madden have proven to be more of a detriment than an advantage. It's not a matter of pressing the right button at the right time anymore, its about making the correct motions at the right times with the right amount of speed. If you are in the market for a new gaming console then I give the Wii my full support. If you are not really into video games (it's okay, no one is perfect) I invite you over to come play sometime and maybe the Wii and I can make you a better person.

I've got a pretty good movie streak going. You know how I feel about The Departed, Flag of Our Fathers was one of the better World War 2 movies I've seen, and then comes Borat. I've done a good amount of laughing at The Ali G show..respect.. and I've been anticipating this movie for months.

The setup: Tom Green, Upright Citizens Brigade, Trigger Happy TV and others have had success at bringing comedy to the unsuspecting public. Personally it's one of my favorite routes to get a laugh. Sasha Cohen is a master of his trade, how he never cracks a smile or breaks character is just amazing. If you're not familiar with the character Borat, he is a man from the nation of Kazakhstan, speaks in broken English, possesses a charming lack of couth and his sister is the number 4 prostitute in his hometown..niiiiccce. Borat is on a mission to learn what makes America great in order to make Kazakhstan a better nation.

Review: If you're an Ali G Show fan, go see it. Like original and refreshingly offensive humor, go see it. Fan of homoerotic fight scenes that last way too long, go see it. Never been kicked out of the theatre for laughing too much, go see it.

Let's get one thing straight, the movie isn't about making fun of Kazakhstan, but it makes fun of people who believe there is a place that exist where all women are prostitutes and homosexuals are given the death sentence. The movie also co-stars, Overt Racism, Drunken Frat Losers, and Ignorance, all of which have speaking roles in modern America.


Favorite Part: The sign of any good movie is the inability to declare one scene as the best. Borat is no different, but for me I laughed the most at any scene involving the bear.

Worst Part: When the credits rolled, I had to admit that the movie was over and Chuck didn't fall for the hole in the popcorn bucket trick.

One more to go: Can't wait for The Last King of Scotland. Should be a goodin.

As punishment for begging my friends to take a survey, I was sentenced to ½ hour community service. This is where I pay my debt to society.

I've been thinking about this for a while, but never could really develop a take on it. Gentrification, for those who don't know, is the act of rebuilding or eliminating low income housing where the buildings have seen better days, in favor of replacing the buildings with nicer higher income housing to raise the property value and hence raise taxes created. Now this usually means that the people who inhabited these houses can..t afford the new rent and move elsewhere. Where to? Often that is their problem. You know how the West End (The W.A.S.P nest) continues to sprawl out over Hanover. Well imagine instead of trees being removed it were low-income minorities. Thursday in my Cultural Exploration class (my safe haven from advertising) we discussed this and I heard a lot of interesting opinions.

The Experiment: I get a pretty good amount of traffic to my blog and I enjoy reading other blogs as well, but I would like to create a discussion on this topic via Myspace blogs. I know some of you write more than others and I know some of you don't write at all, but I believe this is a subject we all notice however it is rarely discussed. I know everyone is busy, but I..m sure you have time to write a paragraph. I'll get the ball rolling as best I can. If you choose to participate just leave a comment stating you have a blog post regarding this subject, so other people can know you are contributing.

My Take.

I've always been a firm believer that greed is a stronger emotion than hate. I'd like to believe that those in the position to make money off gentrification do so only in the name of turning a profit and not in the name of something more sinister. However, what I'd like to believe and the reality of the situation aren't necessarily the same. There are other consequences of gentrification that aren..t related directly to money. It lowers the rate of violent crime (although burglary and breaking and entering tend to go up). Also, it allows those who don't wish to live in the suburbs the opportunity to live in the city. Ultimately I believe this is just the darker side of the housing boom that is starting to level out. There is money to be made and not everyone wants to live in rural areas. I believe racism is too strong a word to describe gentrification. It..s not hate, but a lack of compassion and understanding.

If Martin Scorsese ever needs a hug, he need not look any further. In case you've been living under a rock the last 40 years or you just don't like amazing movies, the man's credits read like IMDB's top 25, here are some highlights: Gangs of New York, Raging Bull, Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore, Goodfellas, Casino, Cape Fear..you get the idea, Scorsese got this shit on lock son.

Synopsis: As Poet Laureate, Shyne Poe once said "A snitch is a fish with no fins that can't swim when I dump em in the river." The police and FBI have long used rats..err..informants in their pursuit to fight crime. What happens when the FBI has a rat with mafia connections in their organized crime division, at the same time when the State Police have an undercover officer involved with the local mafia? Maybe The Departed should have been called Rat Fight, or Vermin Wars, maybe I should stick to writing blogs. Point being the movie focuses on a mafia outfit versus the team of the FBI and The Boston State Police and their respective rats (Matt Damon and Leonardo Dicaprio).

Here is where I apply my lips to this movie's ass: Every couple of years a movie comes out that sets the bar for others of the genre. Mafia: Goodfellas and The Godfather. Crime Drama: The Usual Suspects and Seven. Horror: Texas Chainsaw Massacre (the original) and Puppet Masters 2 & 4. The Departed kicks said bar, directly in the genitals. This movie clicks on every possible level. The plot and story were original and fluent. Every actor/actress was at the top of their game (props to Scorsese again). For once I didn't want to take a pickaxe to Dicaprio's frontal lobe. Nicholson plays the best mob boss since Brando. Martin Sheen is old as hell and Mark Wahlberg likes to gyrate his hips when he talks. The delivery of the dialogue is damn near perfect, and I laughed at least twice as much as when I saw Talladega Nights (Refer to blog "Most over-rated movie of the year").

There is a lot of discussion as to whether or not it's a better movie than Goodfellas. You might as well ask what is better: Sneaking into a movie theatre or sneaking in a theme park? Both are just too good and deliver different experiences. As for now my allegiance is with Goodfellas. Fuck You Pay Me!

Overall, if I had waited to rent this movie, I would have been fairly pissed at myself. Go see it, I doubt anything is going to top it this year.

From the things that matter desk: Baseball Legend Buck O'Neil passed away a couple of weeks ago. For those of you who don't know, O'Neil was a negro league player during the same time as Jackie Robinson, but never played for MLB, though he would become the first Black Coach in the big league. Also, even though even into his nineties he lived to be a perfect ambassador of both leagues he was never given admission to the Baseball Hall of Fame. The first time I ever heard Buck O'Neil it was during a radio interview where the host asked if he was bitter about not being allowed to play in the majors or about not being in the Hall of Fame. To paraphrase his reply: "I'm not a bitter person, but if I were I would be more bitter about not being able to attend Sarasota High or the University of Florida"

Full understanding of the bigger picture.