So... I decided, after careful thought and consideration, that I needed to run away from home over the 4th of July weekend.  I mentioned this need, on Tuesday, to my good pal, Ernie, and he was quick to mention that he had no plans for the weekend.  I quickly decided that I really needed to see Ernie, the arch, and fireworks... all of them at the same time would be ideal.  hahaha...

I left out of here on Thursday evening, around 7-ish.  For reasons we will not disclose here, I left the house kind of upset and in a bit of a hurry.  Literally, I grabbed my bag and left the house.  I got about an hour away, and I realized that I had forgotten my shoes and my makeup.  The only shoes I had were the ones on my feet, (pink Chuck Taylors) so I knew I'd need to buy more shoes... DARN it all anyhow... I figured I was going to see Ernie, who is probably less concerned with chicks in makeup than someone who is really unconcerned with something.   So... I drove for 9 hours straight while I listened to obnoxiously loud music and sang at the top of my lungs.  That did wonders for my mood, but it was so dark that I didn't get any pics along the way.  I did, however, get to watch the moon set, and I'm telling you, it's just as amazing as watching the sun go down.  I highly recommend seeing it if you ever get the chance. 

I got to E's at around 3 a.m. their time, 4 Ohio time.  The first thing I did was show him my new camera, and he took this picture of me.



I'm kinda wondering why my highlights look orange?

We stayed up till about 5-ish talking, and then we went to sleep.  Ernie was kind enough to give up his king size bed for me and fold his tall ass up to sleep on his futon thingie. 

I wasn't able to sleep for long, so I laid there and waited for Ernie to wake up. 

This is how Ernie sleeps...



Did you expect less than a batman pillow case?  If so, shame on you.

The first order of business was to go to Target for two items... One, a pair of flip flops for me since I knew I wouldn't be able to stand keeping my feet confined in my Chucks for very long.  Ernie was kind enough to overlook the fact that I was wearing a black shirt and brown flip flops after that trip.  The other item we got was an inexpensive tripod for my camera. 

The next order of business was lunch.  We went to the Apollonia Greek Restaurant... Where Ernie said I desperately need an item he loving refers to as "flaming cheese" because... well... that's what the menu calls it.



After the flame died... Yeah, I wasn't quick enough with my camera...  SHAME on me.  This food... however... OMG... OMFG...  If you EVER get the chance... OMG...



Ernie and one of his true loves... diet coke...



See?  He's sad because it's gone.



My lunch... I had them modify the Gyro salad and put real lamb on it rather than the gyro meat... and let me tell you... that was the best salad that the planet has ever known.  I LOVED it. 



Ernie showed me how to play with the shutter speed on my camera.  This is the back corner of the house Ernie and Brad live in.  I think it's kinda cool... hahaha.

We then decided to go to Ernie's favorite grocery store, Jay's International Foods, so Ernie could get a few things and I could take pictures of random stuff.  Those of you with weak stomachs, beware.



Would love to know exactly what a pork "tidbit" is.  haha.



Roasted... eel... ?  Yum?



some... uhhhh... stuff.

Seriously though... this store was beyond cool... LOOK...



smoked fish...



purple eggs...





Shopping Ernies...



Cola called "Cockta"  *snort*



Baskets for Dissy to put on her head

But best of all...

OMG...

Get ready for THIS cool shit...



Roly Poly Fish Heads...  chop 'em up... eat 'em up... YUM!!!

this kid at work tells me they're a delicacy.



They even have some American stuff...

After we left Jay's, we headed to the Cathedral Basilica of St. Louis, a church (in case you hadn't guessed)... Yeah... kind of odd to find Ernie and me in church of all places, but GOD this place is amazing.  On our way there, we passed this other church...



It's a lovely place...  AND... the best part?  There's a bench out front that has a statue of Jesus sitting on it.  Every time I say I'm going to stop and get my picture taken sitting there chillin' with Jesus, but we always forget to go back...  Guess I have to go back now... oh darn...  hahaha.



I was happy to see that there are still magnolias blooming in St. Louis.  This one was outside the Cathedral Basilica.

and now... get ready for some amazing church shots...



One of the outdoor shots... 









the walls are covered in hand made glass mosaics.  The church took 70 years to complete.  In fact, it was just finished in the 80s some time.

















This place AMAZES me.  Expressions of faith, any faith, moves me... Even if it's a faith I don't particularly agree with.

















Like I said... AMAZING.





did you know that St. Louis is the only city that boast TWO Cathedral Basilicas? 





Next, we decided we desperately needed some Gooey Butter Cake... so we went to the Park Cafe, which boasts 20 some odd varieties.  I had the peanut butter and chocolate, and E had the key lime.  We did sharesies...  both were fantastic.  No pics because we were sitting on the patio in a light drizzle, and I didn't want to get my camera wet... but here are some shots of the back of the place after the rain and after our snacks were gone.







A fountain outside the cafe and down the street a bit.







How cool is this dog??



Look at him playing Scuba Steve... hahahaha.



Bee in the sweetpeas...



a glimpse of the famed arch...



Ernie doing that thing he does...



This sort of gives new meaning to the phrase "music in the streets".  Wait.. IS there even such a phrase?

Then it was time to head downtown to see the Counting Crows in concert.



Busch Stadium

We also noticed that the City Garden, a new sculpture park downtown, was open. We just HAD to check it out.



I LOVE LOVE LOVED this head... It's supposed to be the head of Eros, the god of love.  Funny... that's how I was feeling all weekend.



and how cool is THIS dude?







people and a glimpse of the arch



the snack wagon... with the guy who made me some lemonade.



a cousin I ran in to... BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA...



white rabbits, in case you couldn't tell.



the man in the little boat... *snicker*





St Louis Courthouse... an historic landmark... the place where the GOOD Dred Scott decision was handed down.





The other, OLDER, Cathedral Basilica of St. Louis, which resides right next to the arch.



I freaking LOVE the arch...











Everyone was out in the light drizzle to see Counting Crows.  Unfortunately, I didn't get any pics of the show.



I did, however, get THIS picture... Are you ready?  This is, so far, the BEST picture I have EVER taken...



and it was a total happy accident.  Ernie, in a crazy shirt, taking pictures with the arch in the background... Wow... this is THE consummate Ernie picture.  The only thing that would make it MORE complete is if there were Doritos and Diet Coke in the picture.





Here's one for the fireplace mantle.. don't ya think?



LOVE the colors, HATE the blurriness.  Shoulda taken the time to set up the tripod.



From the tripod...  before the fireworks.





Yeah... I learned that it's a LOT more fun to WATCH the fireworks than it is it try to take pictures of them.  I took none on the actual 4th. 

So, we went back to Ernie's and crashed for the night.  The next day, E decided that Brad (E's roommate) and I DESPERATELY needed to try Indian food.



'twas wonderful... No pics though...  sorry...



Brad, aka "Guido just discovered the Mafia Wars game" and me.  Seriously...Our Bradley DESPERATELY needs YOU in his mob.

and what good would a trip to St. Louis be without scoping out a bone yard?





Isn't "Our Beloved Clara" beautiful?









I think there's something walking around back there...



Fun fact:  Ernie has little to no use for anything or anyONE who is taller than he is.... hahaha.





and he always LOVES to show off how much taller he is than ME.  heeheeheehee...



Odd name of the day...



The guy who gets to decide if you get to come in to heaven.. kinda looks like he has a stick up his ass...





Ms. Has a Christmas Bulb for a hand...



Bevo Mill Restaurant... 



The frozen custard place...



and the strawberry shortcake I got there...

We then decided that since it was Saturday, and it was the 4th of July, we DESPERATELY needed to be IN THE PARK...

"Saturday... in the park... i think it was the 4th of July..."



Statue of some dude... heeheehee...



gnarly tree...



eeeeeyeah... We'll let Ernie tell you what THAT is...



Tower Grove Park



Our Bradley is completely addicted to Mafia Wars now.  Seriously... hook up with him.  HE NEEDS YOU!!



The result of a fun packed and relaxing weekend.

Thanks, so much, Ernie... I know I didn't use my turn signals a lot and that I complained about having to see the fireworks with you and Brad, but I want you to know I SO appreciate your hospitality.  you are definitely a WONDERFUL host, and I can't wait to return the favor for you here in Akron.  Oh, and in the words of the Terminator...

I'll be back...

So is anyone interested in a good old fashioned photoblog?  I went to visit Ernie over the 4th of July weekend.  Who wants to see the pics?

i feel like i have managed to escape for a little while, but i have to go back to it all tomorrow. i don't know what i will be going back to, and that uncertainty scares me. i do, however, have some goals for myself that i will be working on. but... this uncertainty... it scares the hell out of me.

blackness with a tinge of blue
dotted with light
a canopy full of holes
what is that leaking in?
baleful sounds
increase my yearning
echoes within my soul
and makes me know
still and all
I am alone

This morning, I stopped at McDonald's for breakfast. Don't worry... I didn't have any Sweet Tea (crack) or soda, I only got a sausage McMuffin w/egg. Anyhow, that's not what's interesting here... This is:

I pulled up to the window to pay for my order, and the money taker lady says, "Your order has been paid for by the lady in the car ahead of you. She says to tell you Blessed Be."

"Blessed Be" is a common greeting amongst Witches/Pagans. I guess she saw the pentacle I have hanging from my rear view mirror?

Anyhow, that made me smile all day long.

At work today, I took my first phone calls. My trainer says I did exceptionally well. The interesting thing is that on my very first call, this lady started crying on me. Leave it to me to have something bizarre like that happen, no? Everyone else was super cool. One lady even remarked how helpful I was and said I was a real asset to my company. *blush*.

I am so exhausted from all the thinking... I came home and took a 3 hour nap, and I'm ready to go back to bed now. haha I guess that goes to show how mindless the job I was doing before was. I'll get used to it though, and I will excel at it. I simply know no other way.

My lovely J girl has brought it to my attention that there are not only one, but FIVE fake "Ostara Moon" MySpace pages.  All of them using MY picture, MY words, and specific graphics from MY profile.

WTF??!! 

So... do y'all think I should go back to being "The Dissy"?  Then you'll know the difference?

I'll definitely be changing my profile picture.

Check this shit out.

Cause... you know... I don't have  enough drama going on in my life.

But... Let me take a few moments to reflect on some good.

~  Monday, I'll be starting a new job in my company as a Patient Services Representative.  I'm very excited about it.  I went for a long time where I didn't want anything to do with dealing with the public, and now I'll be talking with patients and insurance companies and... it's just a whole other world away from what I've been doing.  That team seems very excited to be getting me, and I feel very welcome there.

~  I got a new (to me) car that has been named Linda.  At first, I wanted to name her Stella, but the b/f suggested Linda because I asked for his help, and I realized the color of the car reminded me of my friend, Linda's hair, so Linda it is!!

Other than that... things seem to be in a bit of a rut, but those good things I listed above have the potential to help vastly.

1. Write 2 lines from the song you're listening to?
"you are an asshole; king of the castle. I am the meager; follow the leader."

2. Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them?
Not the ones I'm currently wearing, but I have some that do.

3. What book are you reading right now?
the same ones I was reading the last time i answered this question.

4. What are you seriously wearing?
jean capris and a white tee shirt.

5. When is the last time you saw the person you like/liked?
nine BILLION years ago.

6. Do you get the full 8 hours of sleep a night?
not usually.

7. On your "lazy days" what would you be doing?
absolutely nothing.

8. Who was the last person to grab your butt?
some guy...

9. Do you own a pair of Converse?
no, not currently.

10. Did you copy and paste this survey?
Yes I did - retyping it seems a bit silly, no?

11. Do you eat raw cookie dough?
ick... no.

12. Have you ever kicked a vending machine?
yeah.

13. Have you ever stayed online for a very long time waiting for someone?
eh... not so much. Anyone who REALLY wants me knows how to get in contact with me.

14. Could you live without a computer?
You call that living?

15. Is anyone on your bad side now?
eh... not really.

16. What jewelry are you wearing?
3 earrings and my necklace.

17. Do you watch Grey's Anatomy?
no

18. Do some people spell your name Wrong?
I get "Christine" all the time, and it PISSES ME OFF.

19. Would you wear your boyfriends/girlfriends clothes?
I'm sure if I had a need to...

20. What are you doing tomorrow?
going to get Linda's new stereo installed (Linda is what we decided the new car should be named), picking J up, and then we're meeting Rob G out at Chippewa Lake Park so we can take some ridiculously awesome pictures.

21. Will you keep your last name when you get married?
if my fictitious future spouse has a name I find objectionable, I would.

22. When is the last time you left your house?
this morning for work

23. What color are your bed sheets?
off white.

24. Would you survive in prison?
I'm sure I'd find a way to make someone my bitch.

25. If all of your friends were going on a road trip, would you?
if I had enough vacation time.

26. Do you know anyone with the same name as you?
I know a guy named Chris Blacklock who lives in Florida. I met him on AOL years ago when, just for shits and giggles, I was searching for people with the same name as me. Probably because I knew I'd need that info for an internet survey down the road.

27. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
Nine Billion And Four.

28. Whats the last thing you ate?
tacos de asada at Mariachi Locos.

29. What service is your cell phone?
Alltel

30. What's your middle name?
Lynn

31. What's your last name?
It isn't Smith.

32. Where is your cell phone?
on the desk in front of me.

33. How are you sitting?
slouched in my chair.

34. What brand are your pants right now?
idk... I got 'em at fashion bug, which should narrow it down some.

35. Ever been to Georgia?
drove through once.

36. What irritates you most on the internet?
rampant stupidity.

37. Do you watch movies with your parents?
No

38. Favorite song?
eyes of a stranger by Queensryche

39. What song best describes your life right now?
The Kill by 30 Seconds to Mars.

40. Where do you work?
in Canton, Ohio.

41. Are you taking college classes right now?
I am not.

42. What do you drink (non-alcoholic)?
water.

43. Do you like sushi?
LOVE it.

44. Do you get your hair cut every month?
usually. I'm considering it again.

45. Do you go online every day?
yup

46. Current relationship status?
reserved.

47. Do you know anyone that has changed your life?
lots of wonderful folks

48. What song are you currently listening to?
Space Lord by Monster Magnet.

49. Do you have a valentine?
Come on, folks... it's May.

50. Is your valentine your gf/bf?
I'll let ya know next February.

51. Would you cry if your boyfriend/girlfriend cheated on you?
ummmm... yeah.

52. Do you call anyone babe?
I prefer "baby"

53. Can you sleep in jeans?
I can, but I prefer not to.

54. Where were you last week end?
Home, smoochie's, and J's

55. Are you happy?
I'VE BEEN HAPPIER. I'm sure I seem like an ungrateful bitch... I mean... I have a nice, new (to me) car named Linda, and a GREAT new job I start on Monday, but... wow... none of it amounts to much when it isn't what you want most. Things... they've never impressed me...

Hi folks.  I wish I had a good reason for being absent lately, but I really don't.  I have been awful about keeping up on things, and I hope I can be forgiven for being such a neglectful friend.

One of you lovely folks has brought it to my attention that someone is impersonating me here on MySpace.  Check it out.

FAKE PROFILE

Just to set the record straight, I have NOT created a new profile, so if any of you are contacted by the faux Dissy, please disregard, and, by all means, do NOT discuss any private matters any of you may have shared with me via email unless you are 100% certain you are, in fact, talking to the one and only ME.

I miss you all, I hope you're all doing extremely well, and I hope to be back to normal some time soon here.

and I've been REALLY REALLY NEEDING my best friend.

1. How are you feeling at the moment?
I'm tired, confused, and very excited about what I'm doing later on today.

2. Is there someone currently in your life that would do anything for you?
anything, within reason, of course. 

3. Is there someone currently in your life that you would do anything for?
yes.  within reason, of course.  I've a feeling I'm about to be asked to do something that I previously promised to do that I am no longer feeling very enthusiastic about.  Why?  Because of all the things that have happened between the time I made the promised and now.  I now have to decide if keeping that promise is within the realm of reason.

4. Do you hide your feelings?
I'm not good at it.  Not even one little bit.

5. Any regrets?
yeah.  There are some things I could have done without.

6. What is the most important attribute about your self?
I have a strong sense of right and wrong.

7. What is the most important attribute about your boy/girlfriend?
he has the same strong sense of right and wrong, he's very trustworthy, and he's a good dad.  I haven't always been so fortunate to have a man in my life who is concerned about how his actions will affect his child/children.  This speaks volumes about how he handles things in other areas of his life, as well. 

8. Do you consider yourself as reckless or cautious?
a nice mixture of both.

9. What is one thing that you will NOT tolerate?
disregarding my feelings.

10. Ever told someone you loved them and didn’t mean it?
no.  never.

11. Would you rather live on the “edge” or just be comfortable?
depends on what's just past that "edge".  I think there's room in life to have a nice mixture of both.

12. You find out you’re dying, is there someone you wouldn’t tell?
It would be wrong to keep anyone unaware.

13. What would you do if it was your last day alive?
I would hope to take my last breath with his lips on mine.

14. Who would you want to spend that day with?
My lover man

15. Are you happy with the life you have lived?
I could have done without a few things, but I'd say I'm mostly happy.

16. If you could go back in time, is there a moment you would change?
yes. 

17. Is there something on your mind you want to tell someone?
Yes.

18. One thing you consider yourself “addicted” to?
eh... social networking sites hahaha.

19. Anyone from your past you wish was still part of your present?
Seems like they're all crawling out of the woodwork lately.

20. Do you like the person looking back at you in the mirror?
Usually.  More often than not, and almost consistently for almost 2 years now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A - Age:  Just old enough to not want to say.

B - Bed size: Queen

C - Chore you hate: in no particular order: grocery store, dishes, and laundry

D - Dogs' names: My next dog will be named Stanley

E - Essential start your day item: the loo

F - Favourite colour: pink, blue, purple, and red.

G - Gold or Silver: silver

H - Height: 62 inches.

I - Instruments you play: none.

J - Job title: charge verification specialist

K - Kid(s): no, thank you.

L - Living arrangements: in my apartment, with my cat.

M - Mom's name: Madeline Christine Graham Blacklock

N - Nicknames: Dissy

O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: tonsilectomy.

P - Pet Peeve: improper word usage.  You know, mis-use of the words "their, they're, or there; too, to, or two; then and than; your or you're... etc...

Q - Quote from a movie: "Sometimes, when you spend enough time with someone, you start to see what they're hiding by the way they try to hide it."

R - Right or left handed: both.  It wasn't always that way, I taught myself to be ambidextrous, and I'm not as good at it as I used to be due to a lack of practice.

S - Siblings: 4 sisters and 3 brothers.  One by blood.

T - Time you wake up: 5

U - Underwear:  Yes, I own underwear...  and recently have come to own some fancy panties as well.

V - Vegetable you dislike: lima beans.

W - Ways you run late: I don't, generally.

X - X-rays you've had: wow... you name it.

Y - Yummy food you make:  not so sure any more.

Z - Zoo favorite:  MONKEYS

And how are you all, dear friends?  I don't know about you, but I've been so run down and tired lately.  I know a lot of folks have been feeling this way.  Not sure why that is.  I mean... wow... the weather is finally turning nice.  You'd think there would be plenty of reasons to be well-rested so we can spring in to Spring.  hahaha.

This past weekend, the man and I went to the zoo here in Akron.  It's a very nice zoo, but they didn't have any primates.  We got off to a late start, so we didn't want to go all the way to Cleveland to only see maybe half of it.  Still... I didn't take my camera because I wanted to focus on spending time with luvah man.  Next time?  It's ON... hahaha. 

So, this week's Goddess is:



Gaia

Gaia existed before everything; she existed before time.  Gaia, the eternal, prehistoric earth mother goddess, is fertility incarnate, moist, mysterious, strong.  She is life energy itself; everything that lives, breathing or not, overflows with her life.  She is the earth and all the powers of the earth.  Gaia is not always a consoling goddess; standing for life and generation without thought of consequence, she has an energy and a power that must be approached carefully.  All bodies eventually return to her, into the black, fertile earth, to be devoured and to receive her life to live again.  As goddess of the soul, Gaia reminds us that the soul develops in dark places and that ultimately soul must be rooted in body, in earth.  She is a reminder that we must ground ourselves in the reality of nature and incorporate all sides of ourselves, be they pleasant or unpleasant, light or dark.

Yes... I had a little experience with that this week.  There's been this issue going on with my life.  I tried so hard to control my anger over it.  I felt there was no place for anger over the matter, and that it had no place in my life concerning this one thing.  The harder I tried to supress this anger, the more it began to manifest itself in other ways.  Suddenly, I became whiny and negative.  I haven't been that person in AGES...  and I couldn't figure out WHY that was coming back.  I started feeling insecurity over all these tiny little things, and I had absolutely NO reason for it. 

When I sat down and thought about why, I realized it... I was angry.  I needed to confront and deal with that anger because it was interfering with other areas of my life, and it wasn't fair to the people around me who love me. 

It's funny... Didn't I blog just a while back about facing your feelings, acknowledging them, accepting them, and dealing with them?  And here I was trying to deny my feelings.  I guess I figured my anger wouldn't change anything, so why bother?  BUT... it's not good for me to hide things.  Also, I must admit that I'm feeling much better since I've found the root of my "issue"; my anger, so to speak.  Just realizing what was going on has made a world of difference.  So remember this, dear friends... NO GOOD COMES FROM HIDING YOUR FEELINGS.  True to Gaia's message, we must accept the reality of what and who we are and incorporate ALL sides of ourselves, good, bad, and in between. 

I hope you all have a most wonderful rest of the week...  To my Pagan friends, have a WONDERFULLY blessed Beltane!!

~Blessed Be.