WE RETURN TO THE ROTATING PLEASUREDOME THAT CALLS ITSELF THE LUMINAIRE ON THURSDAY 4TH JUNE TO SUPPORT THE SMOKE FAIRIES. THEY ARE ALL WOMEN, WE ARE ALL MEN. SOMETHING MIGHT HAPPEN, IT MIGHT BE MUSIC, YOU MIGHT BE THERE, IT MIGHT EVEN INVOLVE YOU.

SEE US PLAY AS A FULL, PLUMP, PIDGEON CHESTED PEACOCK MACHINE OF A BAND..  IF YOU ARE SINGLE, BUY A TICKET HERE:
http://www.seetickets.com/see/event.asp?e%7Cartist=DAN+MICHAELSON+AND+THE+COASTGUARDS&resultsperpage=20&&orderby=
IF YOU'RE A COUPLE, BUY TWO TICKETS HERE:
http://www.seetickets.com/see/event.asp?e%7Cartist=DAN+MICHAELSON+AND+THE+COASTGUARDS&resultsperpage=20&&orderby=
SAME PLACE, THEY ARE VERY LIBERAL.

Dear friends and all that have now become strangers,

This Monday the 9th of March sees the release of Dan Michaelson's first record with the Coastguard collective.

DAN MICHAELSON & THE COASTUARDS “SALTWATER”.

If you take a walk to one of the UK's leading Independent records shops and buy it with your hands you will be rewarded with a complimentary screenprint of a seagull doing its business in the shape of our band name.

Alternatively, if your excitement proves to be overwhelming and you need to order online before you mess yourself (free album for anyone who can produce photographic evidence of their byproducts spelling our band name) secure your copy immediately from here: http://www.roughtrade.com/site/shop_detail.lasso?search_type=sku&sku=310817

Or here:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_ss_w_h_?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=dan+michaelson+and+the+coastguards

Or here.. http://hmv.com/hmvweb/simpleSearch.do?searchUID=&pGroupID=-1&adultFlag=false&primaryID=-

Oh, but you’re grumbling.. “Its not that easy, I need a little persuasion”. Fair enough.. heres what the music writers have said:

"your ears naturally tune into Michaelson's skill at putting words to the

parts of relationships that usually stay silent. The cruel asymmetry of

romance is addressed exquisitely, recalling the resigned grandeur of the

Go-Betweens' Robert Forster " **** The Times

"impressive - comes on like Smog fronting the songs of Ed Harcourt" Uncut

"an intensely felt and sparsely drawn study of the beginnings and ends of relationships" **** Time Out

Spellbinding, genuinely heartbreaking songs.. The Quietus

"a set of frighteningly good songs **** The Stool Pigeon

"a voice deeper and darker than most extended overdrafts - Michaelson is on endearingly poetic form" NME

"an outstanding collection of quirky and bare to the bones songs" 8/10 Rocksound

Now maybe you’d like to go buy it from:

http://www.roughtrade.com/site/shop_detail.lasso?search_type=sku&sku=310817 ???

…whats that you say? “Fuck you. Im only on the mailing list ‘cause I was drunk at a Magic Numbers gig and now I can't work out how to get off of it and besides, no one buys records anymore. Us modern folk find that very old hat indeed”
Fair enough, that sounds very sensible. All I can do is invite you to come to one of the gigs (listed below) where you can get drunk, sign a mailing list for who on earth knows why and spend the rest of your days wondering what on earth made you buy a screenprint of a seagull.

Its not my fault but lets try to stay friends.

Love, Dan.
Tour dates list…

March 26th @ luminaire Kilburn supporting The Leisure Society

April 16th @ kings head, crouch end **HEADLINE SHOW***

April 23rd leeds brudenell social club w/ Broken Family Band

April 24th Edinburgh caberet Voltaire w/ Broken Family Band

April 25th Newcastle, the cluny w/ Broken Family Band

April 26th Nottingham, rescue rooms w/ Broken Family Band

May 7th London scala w/ Broken Family Band

May 8th Manchester, ruby lounge w/ Broken Family Band

May 9th Bristol thekla w/ Broken Family Band

May 10th brighton hanbury club w/ Broken Family Band

May 16th Cambridge junction w/ Broken

WWW.MYSPACE.COM/DANMICHAELSONANDTHECOASTGUARDS

***FREE COASTGUARDS SONG: BUST***

DEAR FRIENDS, LAST WEEK ON THE JONATHON ROSS SHOW STEPHEN FRY ANOUNCED THAT “DEEP NOISES ARE VERY HARD TO LOCATE..”. HE WAS TALKING ABOUT AN ENDANGERED BIRD SPECIES LIVING OUT ITS FINAL YEARS IN NEW ZEALAND. NONE THE LESS, I FEEL HE WAS ALSO GIVING A NOD IN THE DIRECTION OF A NEW SONG FROM DAN MICHAELSON AND THE COASTGUARDS. IT CAN BE DOWNLOADED FOR FREE FOR THE NEXT 10 DAYS FROM www.transgressiverecords.co.uk .
PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE ON TO ANY FRIENDS INTERESTED IN OLD AND ENDANGERED SPECIMINS, AND FEEL FREE TO DIRECT ANY INSULTS, PITY OR WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT TO danmichaelsonandthecoastguards@gmail.com
OR
www.myspace.com/danmichaelsonandthecoastguards

DAN MICHAELSON IS THE SINGER FROM A BAND CALLED ABSENTEE, THE COASTGUARDS ARE STEVEN ADAMS(BROKEN FAMILY BAND), HENRY SPENNER(FIELDS), TOM GORBUT AND HENRY CLARKE (RUMBLESTRIPS), ARNULF LINDNER (ED HARCOURT/KT TUNSTALL), HORSE (PADDOCK), SANJAY MITRE (OLI N’CLIVE), ROMEO STODART (MAGIC NUMBERS), LAURIE EARLE (ABSENTEE/WET PAINT) AND GREG HALL WHO PLAYS CELLO ALL OVER THE SHOP.
THE TRACK “BUST” IS FROM THE FORTHCOMING ALBUM “SALTWATER”, RELEASED ON MEMPHIS INDUSTRIES ON THE 9TH MARCH.

HELLO LOVELIES, NEVER A BAND TO MISS OUT ON THE VERY MODERN WAY FOR MASKING SELF PROMOTION AS CHARITY, GOOD WILL AND CHRISTMAS SPIRIT, WE'VE UNEARTHED OUR OWN VERSION OF THE CHART TOPPING XFUCKTER HIT "HALLELUJAH" AND PUT IT UP ON OUR MYSPACE SITE. IN 2005 WE WERE ASKED TO RECORD A SONG FOR A JEFF BUCKLEY TRIBUTE ALBUM ON FULL TIME HOBBY RECORDS. REALISING THAT I HAD NEITHER THE VOCAL RANGE OR THE INTEREST NECESSARY TO COVER ANY OF HIS VOCAL GYMNASTICS, WE OFFERED TO COVER HIS VERSION OF LEONARD COHENS EPIC HYMN TO ALL THINGS SEXY AND CONFUSING. SADLY, WE CANT GIVE IT AWAY AS A FREE DOWNLOAD DUE TO THE FACT THAT WE DONT OWN THE RIGHTS TO THE SONG...... I TRIED, THE DAMN COMPUTER WOULDNT LET ME.
IT IS AVAILABLE ON ITUNES I BELIEVE, I ALSO FANCY THAT IF YOU HOUND THE LOVELY PEOPLE AT FULL TIME HOBBY VIA THEIR MYSPACE, LEAVE MESSAGES ON OUR COMMENT BOARD AND TELL YOUR FRIENDS THAT THERE IS YET ANOTHER VERSION AVAILABLE TO COMPARE AND CONTRAST... A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE MAY OCCUR.
ABSENTEE WILL BE BACK LATER IN THE NEW YEAR AFTER A BRIEF FLIRTATION WITH OUR SIDE PROJECTS LISTED BELOW. UNTIL THEN HAVE A BEAUTIFUL CHRISTMAS TIME.
ALL THE LOVE, ABSENTEE.XXXXX

www.myspace.com/danmichaelsonandthecoastguards
www.myspace.com/wetpaintwetpaint
www.myspace.com/thebronsteins

NOTICE TO THOSE CONCERNED..AND THOSE WE SHOULD BE CONCERNED ABOUT.

DEAR ALL,

DUE TO THE OVERWHELMING SUCCESS OF OUR RECENTLY RELEASED "VICTORY SHORTS" ALBUM, WE ARE TREATING OURSELVES TO A LITTLE TIME OFF… AN OPPORTUNITY FOR US ALL TO SHARPEN OUR BLADES AND APPLY FRESH POISON TO OUR BARBS. IN SHORT, THIS MEANS WE WILL BE FLAUNTING OUR INDIVIDUAL BOOTY LIKE PEACOCKS IN SEASON - ALL OVER THE JOINT AND IN A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT GUISES…

DAN WILL BE RELEASING HIS HIGHLY UNANTICIPATED COUNTRYSOULFOLK RECORD WITH THE COASTGUARDS AND YOU CAN SAMPLE ITS WONDER HERE: WWW.MYSPACE.COM/DANMICHAELSONANDTHECOASTGUARDS

BABAK WILL BE FLEXING HIS GRUNGEPOP SIXPACK WITH LAURIE AND MELINDA AT WWW.MYSPACE.COM/WETPAINTWETPAINT BY RELEASING AN ALBUM AND GOING ON TOUR WITH THE "PROMISING NEW BAND..' BLOC PARTY.

MELINDA WILL ALSO CONTINUE TO BOLDLY GO WHERE NO MELINDA HAS GONE BEFORE WITH HER MENTAL INSTITUTION FOLK, WHICH YOU CAN KEEP UP TO DATE WITH HERE: WWW.MYSPACE.COM/THEBRONSTEINS

FEAR NOT THOSE WHO CAN ONLY ACCEPT ONE GROUP PER BAND AND DOESN'T LIKE TO BE FUSSED WITH ALL THIS SWAPPING AROUND AND OFSHOOTING.. ABSENTEE WILL BE RECORDING ANOTHER ALBUM IN THE SUMMERTIME. WE'LL ALSO PUT IN A COUPLE OF FESTIVAL APPEARANCES HERE AND THERE, AND IF KINGS OF LEON OR THE LIKES COME KNOCKING… WE MAY DO A SMALL TOUR.

IN THE MEANTIME HAVE A SNIFF AROUND THE ALTERNATIVES, REMEMBER HOW GOOD LIFE WAS WHEN YOU WERE YOUNGER, AND STAY WARM. WE HAVE A DEEP AND UNCOMFORTABLE LOVE FOR YOU ALL.

HELLO PEOPLE
ANOTHER EXCELLENTLY WELL TIMED PROMOTIONAL BLOG.

WE ARE PLAYING TOMORROW NIGHT <22 NOVEMBER> AT ST GILES IN THE FIELDS.

IT'S IN SUPPORT OF SHEARWATER WHOSE ALBUM CAN BE FOUND IN THE ROUGH TRADE TOP 50 OF THE YEAR.

WE WILL BE PLAYING ONE OF OUR ACOUSTIC SETS IN RESPECT OF THE CHURCH AND ALL... SEE YOU THERE?

TOUR DIARY
WEDNESDAY 1ST OCTOBER: DUE TO SUPRISING DOWNPOURS OF RAIN, ALL BANDMEMBERS ARIVE AT THE STUDIO LOOKING LIKE WE HAVE JUST COME FROM A SHOOT FOR FHM MAGAZINE THAT MIGHT BE ENTITLED "FIVE NEW LOOKS FOR AUTUMN, SHOT IN A WATERFALL…MODELLED BY SOME TRAMPS WE FOUND ON HACKNEY RD". SEXY.
HIGH SPIRITS PREVAIL AS WE ATTEMPT TO DRIVE HALF WAY TO IRELAND SO'S TO AVOID AN UNPLEASANTLY LONG JOURNEY IN CLOSE PROXIMITY TO EACH OTHER. 3 HOURS LATER WE'RE STUCK IN TRAFFIC TRYING TO GET OUT OF LONDON AND ALL SUGGESTION OF AVOIDING "UNPLEASANTLY LONG JOURNEY.." ARE THWARTED. WE'RE DAMP BUT BABAK KEEPS SPIRITS HIGH BY SNORING.
EVENTUALLY WE ARIVE AT A VERY CHEAP HOTEL AND CELEBRATE WITH AN ELABORATE SMORGASBORD MADE UP OF COLD MEATS, PITTA BREAD, PRE-SLICED CHEESE, SALAD, PORK PIES AND A FEW BOTTLES OF WINE. WE MANAGE TO SCARE THE COCKROACHES AND DIRT TO THE CORNERS OF THE ROOM USING OUTLANDISH BEHAVIOR BEFORE GOING TO BED FULLY CLOTHED.
THURSDAY 2ND OCTOBER; FOUR HOURS LATER THE ALARM GOES OFF AND WE BEGIN THE REST OF OUR JOURNEY LOOKING MORE LIKE WE JUST CAME FROM A SHOOT FOR GRATZIA MAGAZINE ENTITLED " JLO TO HOBO IN JUST ONE DAY". SEXY.
DUBLIN TURNS OUT TO BE JUST AS LOVELY AS EVERYONE ALWAYS SAYS IT IS.WE GRACIOUSLY DO THE EQUIVELENT OF GOING TO TENERIFE AND GETTING BADLY SUNBURNT ON THE FIRST DAY BY DRINKING GUINNESS BY THE BARELL AND PLAYING AN EXCITABLE FIRST GIG OF THE TOUR. WE MET A LOVELY MAN WHO TOOK SOME PHOTOS OF THE GIG... WE THINK THEY LOOKED GREAT AT THE TIME BUT IT MIGHT BE AN IDEA TO SEE THEM AGAIN. VICTORY SHORTS CAME OUT TODAY BY THE WAY..
FRIDAY 3RD OCTOBER: AT 10AM WE CONGRADULATE EACH OTHER ON ARRIVING AT THE FERRY PORT EARLY, ONLY TO BE TOLD THAT ALL FERRYS BACK TO ENGLAND HAVE BEEN CANCELLED. A MONKEYS STYLE RACE THROUGH DUBLIN ENSUES AS WE TRY TO GET TO A DIFFERENT FERRY PORT. CORNERS ARE TAKEN AT HIGH SPEED AND MEMORIES OF THE NIGHT BEFORE SWELL IN OUR STOMACHS. AMAZINGLY
WE MAKE IT TO A FERRY PORT THAT HAS A SHIP AND WE ARE OFFERED FREE MEAL VOUCHERS TO ENSURE WE DONT EXPLODE WITH RAGE. NO ONE WAS FEELING AN OUNCE OF RAGE BUT AFTER THE COMPLEMENTRY FRY UP FOLLOWED BY TWO COFFEES, A DANISH, AN ORANGE JUICE AND THE GENTLE LURCH OF A LARGE BOAT ON HIGH SEAS, WE FEEL EXPLOSIONS OF ANOTHER SORT COMING ON. WE
MAKE IT TO LEEDS JUST AS THE DOORS ARE ABOUT TO OPEN, WE CUT THE SET DOWN BY A FEW SONGS. BOTH MEMBERS OF THE AUDIENCE ARE DISAPPOINTED, WE SOOTHE THEM WITH A VOUCHER FOR SEALINE FERRIES WORTH 15 EUROS. EVERYONE IS HAPPY.
SATURDAY 4TH OCTOBER. DAY OFF. WE ALL PRETEND WE DONT KNOW EACH OTHER FOR THE FIRST HALF OF THE DAY, THEN FRANTICLY CALL EACH OTHER WITH QUESTIONS LIKE "WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?" AND STATEMENTS ALONG THE LINES OF "I MISSED YOU LAST NIGHT".
SUNDAY 5TH OCT. WE COMPLETELY MISJUDGE LONDON TRAFFIC AGAIN AND SPEND 3 HOURS TRYING TO GET PASSED KILBURN. ONCE IN BIRMINGHAM WE PLAY A GIG TO LAURIES FAMILY. THEY ARE LOVELY AND ONLY THROW LIGHT, EMPTY BOTTLES AT US. WE HAVE A GOOD TIME AND WONDER IF WE'RE A BIT WRONG IN THE HEAD FOR ENJOYING WHAT SOME WOULD CONSIDER TO BE A "LESS THAN PERFECT GIG". WE DECIDE WE'RE JUST FINE.
MONDAY 6TH OCTOBER: A DAY TAKING IN THE SIGHTS OF SHEFFIELD IS WELL SPENT, WE EAT SAUSAGE CASSEROLE IN A BOWL MADE ENTIRELY OF YORKSHIRE PUDDING. TWO OF US SHED A TEAR AT ITS SIMPLE BEAUTY. IT'S A LITTLE SALTY AND HARD TO CUT INTO MANAGABLE PIECES WITH PLASTIC CUTLERY BUT THIS DOES NOT DIMINISH THE JOY IT OFFERS US.
THE GIG IS A SUCCESS FOR EVERYONE IN THE ROOM.. MUCH WHOOPING SPINGS FROM BOTH SIDES OF THE STAGE AND WE LEAVE FEELING ELATED AND SUCCESSFUL. ON THE 4 HOUR DRIVE HOME MELINDA DJ'S AND DRINKS A SUPRISING AMOUNT OF ALCOHOL. SOME OF THE FEATURED ARTISTS INCLUDED TALKING HEADS, NIRVANA, LEONARD COHEN AND THE PET SHOP BOYS. THERE WAS ALSO A SONG ABOUT TULULAH FROM THE BUGSY MALONE SCORE. A CAN OF BEER EXPLODES IN THE BACK
AND WE ARE ALL AS WET AS WE WERE WHEN WE STARTED OUT A FEW DAYS AGO. TOMORROW WE TAKE ON LONDON AT 93FT EAST... WE'LL BE WEARING WATERPROOFS.
7TH OCTOBER: THE LONDON DATE IS MARTY FROM BLITZEN TRAPPERS BIRTHDAY SO BOTH BANDS SPEND SOME TIME ARRANGING BALOONS, CAKES AND PARTY POPPERS READY FOR HIS ARRIVAL.HIS SURPRISE IS ONLY ECLYPSED BY HIS HAPPINESS AS THE 11 GOONS THAT MAKE UP THE TOURING PARTY GO BANANAS WITH THE PARTY GEAR AND SHOWER HIM IN LOVE, ATTENTION AND ODDLY COLOURED PAPER AND PLASTIC GOODS. AN EARLY SUCCESS ALREADY BAGGED FOR THE DAY, BOTH
BANDS TURN THEIR ATTENTION TO THE LONDON SHOW. ITS TURNS OUT TO BE A GREAT GIG, ONLY MARRED BY A PALPABLE SENSE OF OUR EVER LOVING AUDIENCE SAYING TO THEMSELVES "COME ON ABSENTEE, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET PROPERLY FAMOUS?? WE CANT GO ON FOR EVER LIKE THIS FOREVER YOU AND ME… WE GOTTA MAKE A GO OF IT!" HOWEVER, AFTER THE FIRST FEW SONGS BOTH BAND AND CROWD FELL INTO THE COMFY FAMILIARITY OF MUTUAL APPRECIATION AND ALL
FEARS AND SELF LOATHING ARE FORGOTTEN.
AFTER THE GIG, WE ALL HEAD BACK TO LAURIES HOUSE TO CONTINUE MARTYS BIRTHDAY CELEBRATIONS. MARTY APPEARS TO REMAIN SLIGHTLY MORE SOBER THAN EVERYONE ELSE, BUT AS THE NIGHT DESCENDS INTO A THOUSAND EMPTY CANS AND ENOUGH CIGARRETTE SMOKE TO MAKE THE PLACE LOOK LIKE MATTHEW KELLY IS ABOUT TO REVEAL A NEW "STARS IN THEIR EYES" CONTESTANT DRESSED AS FREDDIE MERCURY, WE ALL LOOK THE SAME AND PASS OUT.
8TH OCTOBER. AS WE TRAVEL TOWARDS NOTTINGHAM ITS HARD TO KEEP AWAY THE FEELING THAT THE BEST OF THE TOUR HIGHLIGHTS ARE BEHIND US. HOWEVER, WHEN WE WALK ON STAGE WE ARE GREETED WITH MUCH WHOOPING AND CHEERING AND 4 ATTRACTIVE, YOUNG AND HAPPY MEN AND WOMEN STANDING IN THE FRONT ROW REQUESTING SONGS WE'D FORGOTTEN WE WROTE. WE MEET THEM LATER AND THEY CONFESS TO BEING PERFECTLY NORMAL PEOPLE.. NO CRIMINAL RECORD, NO OBSESSION WITH TOILETS OR ANY OF THE THINGS WE'VE LEARNED TO LOVE IN OUR AUDIENCE.
9TH OCTOBER. THE LAST DATE OF THE TOUR IS HERE AND WE ARRIVE IN A COLD AND RAINY GLASGOW FEELING LIKE IT'S THE END OF THE SUMMER HOLIDAYS AND SCHOOL IS CALLING OUT FOR SOME IMPROVEMENTS ON OUR SCORE SHEET, AND A WORD OR TWO FROM THE CAREERS ADVISOR TO BOOT. ABSENTEE AND BLITZEN (NOW ON FIRST NAME TERMS) HAVE DINNER TOGETHER COURTESY OF THE
EVER CHARMING KING TUTS VENUE AND WE CHEW THE FAT AND TALK MISTY EYED ABOUT GOING OUT ON THE ROAD TOGETHER AGAIN SOON.
MID WAY THROUGH OUR SET THE GIG IS GOING WELL BUT ON ODD OCCASION MID SONG I KEEP THINKING ABOUT HOW GLAD I AM I DIDN'T DRINK TO MUCH BEFORE THE SHOW, AS THERES A CERTAIN DIZZINESS AND HEAT IN THE AIR THAT LETS ME ENVISION MYSELF EITHER BEING SICK ON MYSELF OR PASSING OUT ON STAGE. THESE IMAGES ARE PRESENTING THEMSELVES LIKE I HAVE A CINEMA SCREEN STRAPPED TO MY HEAD WHEN I SEE TINA (BLITZENS TOUR MANAGER AND SOON TO
BE MICHAELS WIFE) WALTZING OVER TO THE STAGE WITH A TRAY SUPPORTING 5 SHOT GLASSES CONTAINING STRANGE BROWN LIQUID. WE FINISH THE SONG AND THE TRAY GREETS US WITH CHANTS OF " DOWN IN ONE" AND THE LIKES. WHAT CAN YOU DO AT THIS POINT? WE ALL DOWN IN ONE. THE LIGHTS SEEM TO GET WARMER, MY FINGERS FEEL LIKE ACID LACED SAUSAGES AT A KIDS BARBECUE AND MY CHEST STARTS PRODUCING FEATHERS. LUCKILY, THE EFFECTS ARE SHORT LIVED AND BABAK IS SMILING WHICH IS ALWAYS REASURING. THE SET IS RECEIVED RAPTUROUSLY AND WE HAVE A FEW MORE OF THOSE FUNNY LITTLE SHOTS.

FROM 9.30AM TODAY WE ARE ABLE TO SAY "VICTORY SHORTS IS OUT NOW!" WITHOUT FEAR OF LEADING YOU UP THE GARDEN PATH. SEEMS LIKE ITS BEEN A LONG TIME COMING BUT WE'VE FINALLY MANAGED TO SQUEEZE OUT ANOTHER RECORD FOR YOU TO CONSIDER PERCHASING. HERES A TRACKLISTING AND SHORT EXPLANATION…
1.SHARED: A love song involving sewing.
2.BOY, DID SHE TEACH YOU NOTHING? The passing of the frivolous baton of sex.
3.THE NURSES DON'T NOTICE A THING. Searching for the meaning of life in a maternity wing and a cake shop.
4.THEY DO IT THESE DAYS. A party, a bottle of whiskey, a marriage proposal and then on…
5.LOVE HAS HAD ITS WAY. Bare fisted cockfight between cupid and our dear narrator.
6.BITCHSTEALER. A burglary of sorts.
7.WE SMASH PLATES. The lover's first spat played out with crockery and glue.
8.SPITTING FEATHERS. Old man walks the emotional tightrope with marginal success.
9.PIPS. The truth can be hard to swallow.
10.THAT OLD GHOST. Tending to the roses, keeping an eye on the greenfly.

WE'LL BE ON TOUR IN A WEEK OR SO TO PLAY THE SONGS LOUDER THAN YOU ARE ALOUD TO IN YOUR FLAT. THE DJ WILL ALSO BE TAKING YOUR REQUESTS…

2nd oct Ireland Whelans 0181 719390 www.ticketmaster.ie
3rd oct Leeds Cockpit 01332455570 www.lunatickets.co.uk
5th oct Birmingham Bar Ac. 0844 4772000 www.tickeyweb.co.uk
6th oct Sheffield Union 0114 2228777 www.sheffieldunion.com
7th oct London 93ft East 08700 600100 www.livenation.co.uk
8th oct Nottingham Bodega 08713 100000 www.gigantic.com
9th oct Glasgow king Tuts 08444 999990 www.gigsinscotland.com

HOPE TO SEE YOU SOON MY DEARS…
GET OVER EXITED AND BUY VICTORY SHORTS NOW….
http://www.roughtrade.com/site/shop_detail.lasso?search_type=sku&sku=305474 AT ROUGH TRADE
http://memphis.greedbag.com/buy/victory-shorts-0/ AT MEMPHIS INDUSTRIES

Hello computer people

here are some exciting things for you to know...

1. We have a ltd edition seven inch single out now...
It's called "Boy Did She Teach You Nothing", the b- side is a campfire version of
Queens "I Want To Break Free"...

Here is the link to the video which we made for it...it's one of those one take
choreographed masterpieces

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHDjXkIOdpk

We proved so succesfull at this...we are all enrolling at the Pineapple School of
Dance...expect some real gracefull movement at upcoming shows...like a band of
swans.

2. These Shows take place at the following places and times...
It's a co- headline tour with Sub Pops excellent Blitzen Trapper
here is a link to their myspace where their album is currently being streamed...

www.myspace.com/blitzentrapper


10.02.08 DUBLIN WHELANS /w Blitzen Trapper
10.03.08 LEEDS COCKPIT /w Blitzen Trapper
10.05.08 BIRMINGHAM ACADEMY2 /w Blitzen Trapper
10.06.08 SHEFFIELD UNION /w Blitzen Trapper
10.07.08 LONDON 93FT EAST /w Blitzen Trapper
10.08.08 NOTTINGHAM BODEGA /w Blitzen Trapper
10.09.08 GLASGOW KING TUTS /w Blitzen Trapper


3. These shows will be promoting our new album Victory Shorts which is out on September 22nd...It has been receiving so many good reviews we have all become incredibly big headed...

4. Finally we have put up an old song which we will be playing up for free download on our page...It's called My Dead Wife and it is on our Donkey Stock mini album which is quite hard to get hold of. We put it back in our current set and it's been going down so well we figured you would appreciate learning all the words and looking like the cool people who knew Absentee when they were nobodies, not the Dinosaurs of rock they have turned into. This oppurtunity to look cool only works if you come to the shows. So think about that ...

Till the next time
Be safe

XXX