That's right......BANNED!

Maybe it was because I got sick of the "catch-up" game you have to play......yanno... where you make friends, which is a total load of shit, with people you haven't seen in 20-30 years. Then you write a letter and they write a letter to get up to speed with what has happened from this "lost" time.....only to never hear from them again???

Come on, let's face it....if you were good friends, you probably wouldn't have to play catch up, huh. AND here's the deal.....99% of all those "old friends" have either gotten old, fat, bald, ugly or all the above....just like me. Hey, I want to remember those people how they
 

used to be and vise versa.

Don't ever think the blogging community has a monopoly on emo shit. In my experience, that emo shit runs a muck thoughout myspace. I have some proof.

I want to preface this by saying, I have no intensions of becoming a star. I never did. I just like to write. Besides, even if I did, I'm too old and haggard....not to mention I kinda have a problem finding a good mug shot. Like I've said, on many occasions, you only need to look through my pics to see how serious I take this myspace crap.

I also want to say, I am pro-cow! I love my women with some meat on their bones. So don't write to me and bitch me out about how I'm an asshole...at least about the overweight thingy. Trust me, I've banged plenty of fat chicks in my lifetime.

Just so you know what's going on here....Tom also ranks top musicians in each category of the genre of music listed. (look above my pic to see what I'm talking about) I don't know how he ranks them, but it must have something to do with activity on the accounts. So, when I write blogs and get a lot of people coming to my site, and there I am, massager and all-listed among your favorite music artists. Classic-huh. Last year, when I wrote blogs about every day, I got a lot of letters just like the one below.

It's best to start at the bottom and read up, since I'm too lazy to try and change it around. The only thing I did is "x" out her name and the name of her friend.

_____________________________________________________________

Im going to report YOU! consider yousef blocked!!

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: LESBO DRAMA QUEEN MASSAGER
Date: May 9, 2007 8:12 PM


Guess I didn't dumb it down for you enough...here goes.
Dearest Cow tits,
MOO MOO MOOO! MOO MOO MOOOO, MOO! MOOOOOO! MOO MOOO MOO! MOO MOOOOO MOOOOO!
MOO MOO MOO!
MOO!
P.S. MOOOOOOOOOOOO

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: xxxxxxx
Date: May 9, 2007 7:52 PM


Fuck you! I blocked you! Leave m e alone!
My names Betsie! and you are a looser!

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: LESBO DRAMA QUEEN MASSAGER
Date: May 9, 2007 7:11 PM


LOOK BESSIE!
You are one ignorant COW, so I'll dumb this down for you a bit. If you look just to the right of my massager with blonde hair, it clearly says SONGWRITER! Are you fucking blind? I make no boasts about trying to be a star, in fact, I admit it; I am no artist. The truth is, I am happy I don't have to pretend I need your pathetic support, because honestly, since I'm not a star like Kenney Chesney, I don't have to be nice to stupid-ass twats like you.
By the way, I met Kenny and his girlfriend at that time, about 10 years ago. As you know, he's divorced now, so I'll put a good word in for ya.....just as soon as you lose about 100 pounds and stop showing off your cow tits on line. Of course maybe he'll overlook the fact that your face looks like a bad stretch of over-used gravel, river roads.....you should hold your breath, really.....he'll call.
Doug
P.S. I'm going to pretend I didn't see the "grammer" remark, you stupid cunt. It's probably best for you to go back to the herd and just graze.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: xxxxxDate: May 9, 2007 6:08 PM


Fuck you! you are a joke! No artist would put those crazy pitures on their like you do! You need to get off the music and make room for the artist who are trying to make "it'.! And you spelled grammer wrong to! You ARE A JERK! Kenny chesney is so much better than you! he is a real star! You are a ASSHOLE! Don't WRITE back!
Betsie!

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: LESBO DRAMA QUEEN MASSAGER
Date: May 9, 2007 5:56 PM


Look......Betsie, they have medication for this shit, and since I don't know you, I'm going to be nice. Consider yourself lucky because I'm tired.
First of all, OUT OF THE BLUE, you asked me to look at YOUR friend. I did. I even told you he was good...believe me, that was a stretch.
Second, I know this is myspace and I do normally overlook sentence structure, punctuation, grammar and spelling, but damn Betsie, try just a little.
And third, I'm assuming, your "tipical" remark had something to do with your avatar. (look it up) All I can tell you is this: If you're going to show off your tits, on your main pic, expect somecomments about them. Shit, I was being nice.
**NOTE** No response is needed.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: xxxxxxx
Date: May 9, 2007 5:27 PM


Tipical!Iam trying to help Mark and al l you do is look at my breasts. I dont even know you and your not on the radio. so who cares what you thinks!
Betsie!

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: LESBO DRAMA QUEEN MASSAGER
Date: May 9, 2007 5:16 PM


You're right, he's good. OBTW, you might try spelling his name correctly since he's on your top friends.
P.S. nice cleavage

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: xxxxxxx Date: May 9, 2007 5:05 PM


Lisen , I saw you on the top artist. W ould you check out my friend xxxx xxxxxxx. Hes good? and is on my top freinds!
Betsie.

______________________________________________________________

What's your favorite barnyard animal?

Sorry about the shitty teaser recipe yesterday......here's a real one.

GRUNDY COUNTY GREEN BEANS

1 recipe of caramelized onions, 4 cans of green beans- drained, 1 pkg of bacon, 1 can cream of chicken, 1 can of cream of mushroom, 10 oz your favorite cheese, salt and pepper to taste.

Make the onions. (In my one of past blogs) Fry bacon, drain and crumble. Mix all the ingredients together, except the cheese, in a 9 by 13 baking dish. Bake at 350 for 30 minutes. Cover with cheese and bake for another 5 minutes.

______________________________________________________________________________

Big brothers are the worst, aren't they? I mean, when you are a kid, you can never beat them at anything. I know I couldn't. I had this love-hate thang with my older brother Roger. On one hand, I always wanted to play with him, but on the other hand, I knew he was going to beat me......and that's if noone else, close to his own age was around. Heaven forbid if I made a close game of it. He would either call me names or slug me.

I still remember playing whiffleball with him.....(for those who don't know, whiffleball is just like baseball, except you can throw at the runner to get him out, as long as he's not on base. If the batter makes it to base safely, he says, "ghost runner," then bats again.)....Roger hated to lose at anything, especially his younger brother! The first time I struck him out, he took a few steps to me and threw the ball as hard as he could. Yea, that left a bruise on my forehead.

A real ass right? Well, he was also my protector. Ya see, big brothers feel they are within their rights to pummel younger siblings, BUT....nobody else better lay a hand on them. Believe me, with my smart ass mouth, he saved me from many deserved ass beatin's from older guys. I still respect him to this day, and since I'm a lot bigger and stronger.....the rolls have been reversed.

Which brings me to my point.

Growing up in the mid-west, being young, dumb and ignorant.....I developed this kinda hatred of New York. I always heard of all the gang problems and over population. New York always got mentioned in the daily news. Not to mention, I was a huge Cardinal fan and New York always got the best players....and all the sports press! Like I said, a real hatred, right?

That was until 9/11. When the towers fell, it was like someone shot my brother. I forgot about all the petty little things that brothers fight about. I wanted to take up for my "big brother." I have now come to realize I love New York.....just like a big brother. Don't get me wrong, I'm still a Cardinal fan, but I would have been okay if the Mets would have won the championship.

Did anyone else feel like this on 9/11?

Hold on, let me cough up this luggie before I write this blog......Hooooock toooie!

Yes, that's right.....I smoke....like a stack! I also drink like a fish, eat like a pig, curse like a sailor, screw like a rabbit, argue like a lawyer and bitch like an old woman! It's true....in fact, I have something to bitch about today. So listen up you non-smoking complainers.

Don't we all have our own vises? Shit, I listed mine and I'm sure I could list more if I thought about it. Your question might be, why do I smoke? BECAUSE I WANT TO! I like it, I love it, I want some more of it. Do I know it's bad for me? Hells yea! We smokers all know it's bad for us, and yet the tobacco companies still get sued....Do we have a great legal system or what?

I think the real problem is when smokers infringe on non-smokers. I don't! F*ck-I don't even want to be around non-smokers when I smoke. So the whole "smoking in restaurants/ bars" thang is a non issue for me. If they don't allow it, I don't go!

To me, it's a freedom of choice issue. I stopped going to bars a long time ago. Why? Believe me, it's not that I'm a teetotaler , I just don't want to be around a bunch of drunken strangers. I also don't agree with driving under the influence....that too infringes on others. Still, it's my choice. When I'm on my deck, the smoking lamp is lit and my non-smoking friends have to make a choice to be around it or not. Either way, I'm okay with their decision.

Another argument is living longer. Studies have shown, on the average, non-smokers out live smokers by a few years. I totally agree. But know this.....WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!! And in a hundred years, who's going to give a shit.

Ya see....I believe in quality of life and freedom of choice. If I choose to not live my last few years of life, is that so bad? I mean, my grandmother lived to her eighties....a non-smoker, I might add. However, her last ten to fifteen years of life were lonely, as she out lived all of her friends. She also spent a lot of time in and out of care facilities. That doesn't sound like fun to me.

The truth is, I wish I didn't want to smoke.....BUT I DO! I also respect those of you who made a choice not to smoke.

Thoughts? You got any bad vises you wanna share? Oh, and are you a smoker or a non-smoker?

P.S. Pass me a Camel non-filter.

Hey guys, if you haven't already, check out pointlessbanter.net

I will also try to fix the problem with those two songs today....sorry.

______________________________________________________________________________

Here's the deal.....I better explain first. Ya see, I normally DO NOT promote people or things I don't believe in....because I believe any "pub"....good, bad or ugly, is still "pub." So follow my train of thought here. I want to write about ...........OJ........and not the drink either. I'm talking about O J "Slasher" Simpson.

First off let me say I think OJ was.....is.....and always will be guilty. And YES....It has to do with color too......not his, but the color of blood.....FOUND IN HIS AUTO! We all know the details of the trials, so I won't bore you. Just as I'm sure you've seen his crazy antics in the past few years. BUT, this one take the cake!

OJ was offered 3.5 million dollars for a book. And what is the book about? Well the name of the book is something like......How I Would Have Done It, If I Were Guilty. That's right.....well the name of the book might not be exact, but it is very close. Is it me or has the "Slasher" finally gone off the deep end?

Think about it. Is OJ finally going to confess? Maybe. Is he stupid enough to give incriminating details? Possibly. Can the Goldman and Brown families seek part or all of the 3.5? I hope so. For me, these questions pale in comparison to the real question here.

How in the F*CK can someone write about something so personal and hurtful. Forget about this being a top news story. The two people murdered, were someone's kid.....or someone's mother....or someone's best friend.....or a family member. Ya see, when I take the star factor out of it, it becomes more personal to me. I wonder how we would feel about it if a book was written about our murdered parent....... our murdered kid....... our murdered best friend....... or murdered family member? That would be bad enough, but written by the accused......I'm still waiting for the punch line to this sick joke!

The only thing I want to find out about this book, is who published it. I want to know what books I will never read the rest of my life!

Thoughts?

Thanks for all the comments....you guys are pretty cool. In the past couple days, I've tried to get away from my teenagers by just reading other blogs. BUT....after reading Trixie....Fuxsie....Cotton-bottom, or what ever she goes by these days, I've decided my teens aren't so bad.

______________________________________________________________________________

Who wants a good stuffing? In order to get a good stuffing, let's talk about it first....kinda like foreplay if you will. Since next week is Thanksgiving, I thought I'd list a few ideas. Here is a basic recipe:

STUFF THIS

1 cup chopped celery, ½ cup chopped onion, ½ cup butter, 1 tsp poultry seas, 1 tsp crushed sage, 8-10 cups bread crumbs, 1 cup- a can of chicken broth, salt & pepper to taste.

Saute onions and celery in butter. Add seasonings. Place bread crumbs in large bowl, and pour mixture over them. Add broth to moisten. Stuff your bird or bake at 350 for about a half an hour. Check with a meat thermometer....165-170.

You can spice it up with what ever you like. I've tried spicy sausage, crumbled bacon, mushrooms and even oysters. Hey, if you don't have bread crumbs, you can use HI-HO crackers. Another idea is to play around with the spices.....if you like a little heat, add some hot sauce, worcestershire, and some creole seasoning.

______________________________________________________________________________

Since Thanksgiving is coming up, I'd like to give some thanks. Somewhere around forty, our eyesight starts to go downhill.... I know mine did. I need reading glasses now. When it first started happening to me, I couldn't believe it, as I always had great eyesight! I asked family and friends about it, and they all agreed.....they too needed reading glasses about the time they turned forty. I thought it was a cruel joke at first. But I've come to realize, when God closes a door, he opens a window.

Ya see, My wife needs reading glasses as well, she too is blind as a bat up close. Sooo while in bed, when we say our "sweet nothings" to each other, she's not seeing the real me. She sees that handsome, unwrinkled, non-haggard, single chinned man, she met years ago. THANK YOU GOD!

You got anything to be thankful for this year....or do you want to talk turkey?

The people have spoken and I am very....well....sorta... optimistic. Maybe Congress can actually do something.....time will tell.

I consider myself an Independent and I voted for both parties yesterday. I am conservative so I probably lean towards the Republican party....but believe me, not by much. Having cleared that up, let me say I finally got it. You see up until last night, I watched all the major news networks. I have always tried to give each a fair shake on their political view points. And yes, I know all the Republicans think ABC, NBC, CBS and CNN are pro-Democrat, just as all Democrats think FOX is pro-Republican. However, looking at this from an Independent point of view, I have some thoughts.

It seemed to me that ALL of the networks, including FOX turned into "cheerleaders" for the Democrats, instead of just reporters. At first, I thought it was all in my head, but at around 7 PM central, Jack Cafferty from CNN, put out his blurb. Basically he said, "Do you think the new Congress will start holding trials for all the White House shenanigans?" YES, he said Shenanigans. The polls had just started to close in the east and Cafferty is suggesting impeachment!

Now, all you Democrats will say, "what's wrong with that?" Just as you Republicans will cry foul. BUT....for me, being an Independent, I can't believe we might be falling for the "Wag the Dog" trick again. It happened to Clinton in his last two years....he spent his time defending himself.....INSTEAD OF WORKING FOR US!! Why???? FOR THE RATINGS!!!! I believe our news agencies are WAAAAAY past the point of reporting. Anymore, I think they create the news. Like I said, I hope something gets accomplished in the next two years.

Any thoughts?

Did you ever meet someone you liked, only to hear them say, "Let's just be friends?"

Let's just be friends? What a crock! "Let's just be friends" sucks ass. I remember when I was much younger thinking I could somehow convert a "just be friends" relationship to a full fledged bangin' one. What a waste of time that was! I spent most of the time listening to Sarah selfish- snatch complaining about cheating Charlie's chubby.....meanwhile pounding my pudd on the side.

Can you see the irony? Most women say they want a sensitive man, but always seem to choose the "bad boy." And then they wonder why men are assholes? Just a guess here.....Ladies....YOU MADE US THIS WAY!

I'll give you another heads up too. Women, if you give the "let's just be friends" speech, and the guy accepts.......He's either A-lying his ass off or B-he is a homo. Ya see, I believe the sex thing always gets in the way.....It's in our DNA, we can't help it.

You got any single "friends" of the opposite sex?