I have decide what i want for my birthday...i would like any of you reading this on facebook or myspace to post a comment on my page...put your favorite Quote from Arsenic Lullaby up there.  let me know that something i did stuck with you ...that would be nice. 

click below for those venues

the impossible Contest will officially start on my birthday (nov.23rd) and end on dec.19th click here for that 

now then, let me say that i don't like artists, and apart from the maybe four that i count among people i consider friends, i don't hang out with them, i don't talk shop with them , the whole artist mentality annoys me. i have friends who have been given the duty of putting me in my place when if start to act like one. Artists are by and large dousche bags and blow hards who think the world, stores, distributors, and consumers exist for the sake of them polluting the pop culture with whatever hair brained story, image that seeps out of them completely unfiltered by reason, popularity demand or quality considerations. In a sense they are like cops.  the majority of cops only hang out with cops, go home and watch cops shows, all they talk about is the job...artists are the same way.  they hang out with other artists ( and let me say before i forget i'm using the term artist loosely.  artist and crazy are terms that you earn...that other people call you.  if you declare yourself an artist or declare yourself to be screwed up mentaly you are simply a pain in the ass and/or dull person trying to seem interesting) all they do is talk about art, read about artists and by and large live in a fantasy world were they are misunderstood geniuses that will have books and movies made about them and their life and not the lowlifes afraid of real jobs and criticism that they actually are.  I do my best to stear clear of all that,  i am very forthright in my place in the world.  i'm just a jerk from Milwaukee with a bunch of talent he didn't earn tying to make a buck...period.

having said all that i will now for one brief moment be a pain in the ass artist.

For the last ten years or so I've had to hear about this image (see above)from Arsenic Lullaby no.2.  hey do you still have that artwork? hey that was my favortie thing you did! that one makes me laugh every time. and i understand that it's meant as a complement that you still remember something i did so long ago.  but here is a tip when dealing with an artist/creative type person...they don't want to hear about decade old work.  we want to hear about how much better we are now, how great our last thing was.  when you make reference to something we did long ago there is an implication there that we peaked at that point and nothing we have done since has matched it.  hard on the ego even though it's meant as praise.  this one in particular stings because issue 2 of Arsenic Lullaby WAS great and it WAS groundbreaking.  and i have in my own head been chasing it.  the problem was not only was it very funny and full of techniques unique to arsenic lullaby storytelling (techniques i'll break down for you one of these days)...it introduced VooDoo Joe and the cartoon fetus.  think about that for a second- we had a cartoon fetus in 1999. so in order to top this issue i would have to have 32 pages of top notch funny PLUS introducing groundbreaking characters.  i don't know that i ever topped it but i think Pulp Edition Omega and Zero may have equaled it...maybe.  I think over all Zero was funnier but didn't really introduce any groundbreaking character...unless you count Issitoq.  Omega might have been as funny and the Vampires were very good but not as inspired as the fetus and the book overall wasn't really meant for new readers...it doesn't stand on it's own as well as No.2.  anyway like i say i've been hearing about this picture for a decade...do you still have it?  when are you going to make another t-shirt of it?  when are you going to make a print? that would be a great sticker!

so... you can't fight the ocean but you can shake your fist at it.  the original is long gone but i have sat down and though it made me sick to do so...i re did it, i vow to never draw it again not only because i can't stand the sight of it but also...it was hard.  i wasn't as skilled ten years ago but i put alot of work into things.  everything in this picture was in proper two point perspective including the drapes, pattern on the drapes, white spripes in the wallpaper, the hinges on the folding table and even the base of the rabbit ears and Joes glass, not to mention the uneven grey pattern on the wallpaper almost made me go blind and no doubt has set in motion a premature case of arthritis.  it's 10 x 10 inches roughly.  i'm going to make a print of it and maybe a shirt or sticker...i've redone it, scanned it, i have the digital file whenever i need  it and for the sake of getting it far far away from me the actual artwork will be on ebay in about a week.  i will start the bidding at 1.00.  the catch and birthday present to myself is that the reserve will be 230.00 (my birthday being on the 23rd) and if the reserve is not reached i will film myself destroying it and put it on u-tube.  might burn it, probably will shoot it first maybe i'll do a burn out on it with my el camino...but in any case i'll either have a little extra cash for the cartoons warchest (helping ensure i'll never have to draw a comic book again) or have the joy of uncreating this image. 

on a side note the black smears on the edges of this page and other pages i do are me getting excess ink off my brush.  lots of people ask what they are and there you go.  i use a brush for everything , curved lines, straight lines, texture, everything and so you need just the right amount of ink on there or the brush won't flex right when you are inking curves.  THIS peice though i did use a technical pen for the wallpaper for the sake or re-creating it as closely as possible to the original.  could have done the same thing with a brush and probably faster but it wouldn't have had the same uneven look to it.

you know...nothing irritates me more than me TRYING to help...TRYING to do some actual good in a none sacrastic way and then getting a bunch of grief.

in response to my divorce blog a bunch of do gooders took offense to the "you friends can't help you" section. blah blah blha you don't have to be divorced to understand it hurts blah blha blah friends are what you need when times are tough blah blah blah i helped my buddy alot he told me so...yeah well your friend also told you he'd stay with that girl forever so...that's what his word is worth...but i can see i'm fighting the ocean here and you are all just sooooo compassionate that you are going to try to help anyway. fine here are some important bullet points if you have  friend going through a divorce 

-if the divorce subject comes up, listen that's all...don't change the subject... DON'T try to relate it to you breaking up with someone...NOTHING IRRITATES US MORE than listing to you go "remember when i broke up with Jenny after four years...that hurt too so i know blah blah blah blah"...oh you broke up with your girlfriend this one time...gee that's awful cute,  except that you and your girlfriend DIDN'T PROFESS TO GOD AND EVERYONE AND THEMSELVES THAT THIS UNION BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM WAS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THEIR LIFE AND THEY WOULD NEVER LET IT BE BROKEN...and then have to turn around and admit to God and everyone AND THEMSELVES that those vows/their word wasn't worth the paper it was printed on.  "yeah but still i get ya with the emotional pain of it because..." oh shut up...you comparing a break up to a divorce is like comparing you missing your flight to MY FLIGHT EXPLODING IN THE AIR ABOVE A CITY.  

-Do not bitch about the other person...you weren't there you are getting half of the story and just because right now they are in "think that she was a total bitch" mode doesn't mean three days later they won't be in "i was a total asshole mode" and resenting you for what you said three days ago.

- we don't know what we want.  we'll tell you we just want to be alone.  we don't.  that doesn't mean bug us every single day, but keep an eye on us.  if you stop by and we're wearing kleenex boxes for shoes and that apartment is littered with pizza boxes it's time to take out out to a movie or something.  it is tempting to just give us a wide berth and wait it out.  that...while not harmful...is unhelpful and lazy.  

-AT some point you getting us out of the house or telling us to get our head out of our ass is going to start an argument or perhaps result in us telling you to fuck off.  possibly severing the friendship.  well...do you want to help or do you want to feel good because you are helping.  helping someone often times means telling them things and doing things that will result in them never talking to you again.  if we tell you to fuck off and we don't listen, you have at least planted the seed and laid the groundwork for the next guy who tries to get us moving. PLUS whatever drama we go through with you is at least distracting us from that other drama.  a good day of bitching about what an asshole you are might be just what we need. (do not take that as license to go start a stupid argument or poke your nose in where it doesn't belong) AND...this doesn't mean three weeks after the split you read us the riot act and hold us down and brush our teeth.  You have to use your judgment...this means your judgment has to be worth a shit i.e. you've been coming around to check up on us...you've been listening...AND error on the side of caution when you think we need a kick in the ass.

-at some point you will be prematurely thinking "geez when is he/she gonna get over it already?" well, as soon as you go fuck yourself...that's when.  he or she will likely be walking around with this baggage the rest of their life...you know whY?  because it happened, that's why. there is no higher relationship than a marriage so even if the person gets re-married he/she will be looking over his/her shoulder to a certain extent for quite some time.

-don't bring it up.  we'll bring it up.  and don't ask what happened.  people ask that as if their gonna get a simple "she aborted my baby so she could have pregnantless sex with my brother" and it's gonna be cut and dried. people get divorce 9 times out of ten because of a million little things...sometimes those million little things set ofF an abortion/brother sex incident but that's the grand finale not what lit the fuse.   two people don't just go from being in love to doing something horrible to each other.  "what happened?"...we don't fucking know.  even if we think we do.  it will be months before we truly figure it out.  maybe we stabbed her dog...and right now your answer would be "i stabbed her dog" when in reality we are currently selectively forgetting, do to guilt or stress, that her dog was biting our leg at the time as we were chasing her and our naked brother out of the house.  or maybe just a million little insensitive things done on purpose by her, eventually broke the camels back and we stabbed her dog, or maybe we are just an asshole and stabbed her dog.  it would take a CSI team to unravel all the things that went on and who did what why ...so now you see why "what happened", while well meaning, is a stupid question.

-give us something to do.  we need to feel useful, have us help you move something heavy or paint something.  we need to be reminded that people care and that we have a life outside of the life we just screwed up.

-do not invite us to do something involving your family.  we appreciate being invited for thanksgiving dinner but it's going to do more harm than good for us to sit there and watch someone elses family.  if my grandma died you would invite me over to hang out with you and your grandma? no.  take us to a ball game or a movie or something were it is a bunch of guys (or a bunch of girls) no couples no families...got it?  i mean does that sound FUN to you?  to go through a divorce and then spend an evening watching how happy someone else is?  why don't you just go down the the VA hospital and tie your shoes over and over in front of someone who lost their hands...numbskull.  it's another example of you being well meaning...but harming.  we appreciate it but...

-don't get us drunk or laid and think that that's gonna do the trick. we are self destructing mentally we don't need to self destruct physically with booze, drugs or loose individuals of the opposite sex.  alot of times marriages CAN be fixed...it is more helpful for you to make sure we are not drunk or in bed with someone else when the second party shows up to reconcile.

-we are going to be a big pain in the ass for MONTHS accept this as fact.  we'll run to you for help and run away just as quickly when you try to help.  we're going to be moody and probably be full of off handed insults.  so, just deal with okay.  that doesn't mean we get to treat you like shit and not have to hear about it.  again use your judgement...that you have formed from being around us for awhile.

that's really about it...of course some of this advice overlaps and somewhat contradicts itself, well you wanted to help assholes GOOD FUCKIN LUCK.

...i'm flipping through channels and i get to the block of five news channels in a row.  each one of them  is giving post election coverage.  in case you weren't paying attention, and to be honest i wasn't really myself, there where two governorships up for grabs this time.  new jersey and Virginia both HAD democrat governors and lost to republicans on Tuesday. 

so there where political strategists from the democrats and republicans on talking about what went wrong and what went right.  basically it broke down like this the democrats claimed they lost because they didn't have strong candidates and the republicans all remarked that they themselves might need stronger candidates in the mid term elections in order to shore up the base.  both parties felt that they will need stronger candidates in order to have success next November.

HOLY SHIT!  ARE YOU ALL SITTING DOWN?!  the morons have figured out for the first time, in the two decades that i;ve been paying attention to politics, that their candidates aren't any good.  holy fuckin shit...what a revelation!  you don't think your candidates are strong enough?  what would ever give you that idea?  the constant polling data that says were don't give a rats ass about your candidates or the fact that 50% of this country doesn't even bother to vote?   holy mother of...they finally figured out that they need better candidates.

how did these fucking morons ever get to power in the first place?  i hate to keep coming back to health care but the sheer notion that these assholes should be in charge of ANYTHING ELSE MAKES ME WANT TO SET MYSELF ON FIRE.  just yesterday...nov 4th 2009 both parties figured out that if they had better candidates they'd get more votes...GOOD LORD?!  THAT IS FUCKING TERRIFYING!

What are electrolights?  electrolights are what plants crave...why do they crave it?  because it has electrolights...

what the flying fuck is going on in there back room meetings FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK?!

i am i swearing enough to convene my shock/terror/rage/befuddlement? no? what the fuck are they fucking doing all day if they just now nov.4th 2009 figured out that better candidates get more votes?  SOMEONE ANSWER ME!!  these people are in charge of two wars? in charge of our schools?  in charge of the FCC? someone get me a syringe and some heroin because i can't deal with this straight anymore...WHAT THE FLYING HOLY FUCK IS GOING ON?!

"we're gonna need a better candidate"....??? that's all you got?  that's the level you're at?  how the fuck did you manage to work the door knob to get out of your house and into the newsroom?  no wonder we're still fighting in Afghanistan...they haven't figure out that if we fire more bullets we'll kill more bad guys. 

....GAAAHHHH!!!!!!!?????

SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS A BAD DREAM.  better candidates?  just now they figured this out?!

i'm working my way into a cold sweat just thinking about the fact that the two ruling parties are just now analyzing things at the level of a second grader.  maybe a first grader...and what age do you start picking kickball teams by who is better?  you know when in gym class the fat kid or the slow kid gets picked last...NOT IN OUR TWO POLITICAL PARTIES...THEY, UP UNTIL YESTERDAY, COULDN'T FIGURE OUT THAT IF YOU HAVE BETTER PLAYERS YOU'LL WIN MORE KICK BALL GAMES.

i...i gotta move outta this country. communism i could put up with but this shear stu...this isn't even stupididty...i don't know what to call it.  this like stupid have a love child with blind and it got hit on the head with a lead pipe.  

i'm fucking beside myself right now with disillusion, and that's saying alot for someone as cynical as me. i mean i don't expect much from either party but i at least thought they new that the better candidate wins. i..it just..who fuck...wh...i'd like to just turn into a preying mantis...cause i can't even process this and the stimulous/response lobe of my brain just wants to have really violent sex and then die.

So, a friend of mine is going through a divorce.  actually a couple of them are...and given the world we live in alot of you are.  as a divorce veteran i'm gonna give you my best advice, mixed in with advice i got that helped me.

1-you are going to be miserable, angry, full of regret and blame down to your bones for around 3-6 months. accept this as fact. 

2-you are going to be a total pain in the ass and have your head up your ass for 3-6 months accept this as fact. numerous times you will THINK you are over the hump and have it all straightened out.  this is a clear way of knowing you have your head up your ass.  only when you realize you don't actually know where it went wrong and never will and are tired of caring are you over the hump.

3-you friends are not going to help you.  accept this as fact.  unless they have gone through a divorce they do not know what you are going through and their reactions and aid will range from changing the subject, non-helpful blaming of the other party, or assuming that you are over it/ it's not as bad emotionally as it actually is.  this does not make them bad people (most of them)...they are simply not equipped to help you very much.

4-don't hang around with fellow losers and have a pity party.  if you know someone who's been divorced who now has their shit together GREAT spend time with that person vent, bitch, lament.  but do not surround yourself with fellow miserable screw ups and dry each others tears.  you need to move forward as quickly as possible. surround yourself with people who have their act together not degenerates who just want to get laid do drugs get drunk and feel sorry for themselves.  plenty of time for that AFTER you are over the hump.

5-you need progress.  you need little victories.  accomplish small goals.  work out.  complete projects...hell, clean out the garage, just accomplish things so that you have something to show for yourself at the end of each day.  this will do wonders for your bruised self esteem.

6-Make a schedule, keep to it.  you do not want to be looking forward to endless days with nothing to do, and no reason to get up in the morning.  you are emotionally a drift.  you need to combat this by having as much literal stability in your life as possible.  again...plenty of time to lay around and play playstation for 7 hours AFTER it's all over.

7-if there is a way to fix it DO IT, try it and do so immediately.  you do not want to spend the later part of the 3-6 months wondering "what if i tried blah blah blah once more."  fire all of your guns and be done with it.

8-DO NOT for one second think that any dating you do is going to lead to anything.  you are a wreck right now and your life and emotional state scream "i am a wreck"  anyone who would date you right now is either just using you, or is also a wreck (include wildly immature to the "wreck" definition), or is fooling themselves and going to lead you both into a shitstorm.  

9-i don't know what "9" is...i'm not fuckin plato. for all i know "9" might be a addendum to one of the previous "8" things i just listed

1o.don't have kids.  this doesn't really have anything to do with divorce it's just sound advice.  stop having kids. they're loud, they're obnoxious, they're dirty and they spread more germs than rats. if you do have kids and can't control them kill don't move into a duplex and drive the guy upstairs crazy with your choas noise and ridiculous lifestyle.

11.if they guy has to keep coming down stairs and screaming at you to keep it down don't look all surprised when he laughs at you when you tell him your kid broke his leg.

12. don't leave your kids home alone to go get drunk because when your gone the guy upstairs shuts off all there power from the breaker box and makes scary noises into the heater vents until they are crying.

13. don't complain when the guy runs the lawn mower right over all the toys your horrible kids left in the yard "brrzzzarrppp!!!! man...THAT felt good.

14 don't have kids and then let THEM decide when they go to bed because a 3 year old and an 8 year old will NEVER go to bed they'll just keep running around yeowling like the sub-humans that they are until the guy upstairs brings his 5hp air compressor into the house and runs it full boar a 4am for twenty minutes as payback.

15. don't be surprised when child protective services shows up with a bunch pictures of you little baboons running around in the alley unsupervised because i've finally had it and while i don't condone the state taking peoples kids  sleep deprivation does take it's toll on your ideology.

well there you go i hope that helped.

Now for the past couple of months we have been putting things up on Ebay for literally a song.  full pages going for under 100.00 one of a kind prototype statues going for under 100.oo. alot of you are looking and not buying.  which is no skin off my nose.  by the time i decide something needs to go up on ebay it's because i'm sick of looking at it and just want it gone. 

But here's the thing that drives me nuts. at oh....every single show for the past 8 years several people will come up and ask if i have a page from this issue or a page from that issue and pretty often they will specifically ask for the page of Voodoo Joe eating the mermaid...now 9 times out of ten this will be someone who never checks the ebay auction and never e-mails me asking what i have.  they just for some reason assume that they are the first person to decide they want that page or that i stock pile the stuff.  I'll admit i might be on the outside looking in here and alot of illustrators keep the stuff around and release it little by little.  but...not me.  Arsenic Lullaby is self funding and that includes paying me enough to stay in the low liviant life style i've become accustomed to.  I look at every book like an indian looked at a dead water buffalo- every last bone and piece of skin gets used for something.  artwork, film, preliminary sketches, all go out the door to the highest bidder or whoever shows up with cash first.

Here is my point...from now til Christmas time we'll be putting up whatever i have left lying around, and even though i'll have posts and mass e-mails and banners running across the main page...alot of it will get picked up by some shrewd bidder for less than it would if i had more patience and waited til spring...early bird gets the worm is what i'm saying here.  if you see something you like or think you like...you might as well bid on it because it sure as hell ain't going to be around three months from now when you see us put something up on u-tube and decide you want yourself a piece of Arsenic Lullaby the COMIC BOOK memorabilia.

the other thing that perplexes me is how stoked you all are about this cartoon.  i've been bending over backwards here to lower expectations.  let me reiterate...we don't know jack squat about animation...it has no home yet.  we are going to do this in house and pitch it to various cable networks and distributors, if they are not interested but we think it's good we'll sell it ourselfs the way we sell the comic-through the 1200 comic book stores that carry us, record stores head shops, straight to video distributors and at cons..  and i can sense already this is another wasted paragraph, and i understand that it's my fault you aren't listening to me about how this could be a big fat flop...because i tell you everything we do might be a big fat flop and it all up til now has turned out pretty good.  but just take it easy out there.  and if you're really that excited go on ebay and buy something because guess who's funding this cartoon.  yeah -me out of my own pocket...so every little bit helps knowwhatimean?

and no i don't have any celebrity voices.  why would i blow the budget on a celebrity that isn't going to listen to what i want when i have a pool of talented people that i know personally?  why would i reward hollywood with cash for sucking? the whole reason i'm doing this first pilot myself is because they all suck and can't beat my team.  "why join 'em if you can beat 'em" as cypris hill would say.

onto more confusion about the sketchbooks up on ebay.

uhm...you can't see much on the u-tube videos because i use a non -photo pencil when i sketch...every page has SOMETHING on it either dialogue or sketchs or scribbles...some pages are better than others, but just because you don't see black inked stuff on a page as it is being flipped through doesn't mean it's blank.

as far as value questions...i don't know what it's worth...that's why we put a low starting price on it.  it all depends on you.  If you put a gun to my own cheap head and i saw a similar sketchbook by David Bosewell (illustrator of Reid Flemming Worlds toughest Milkman) i'm be willing to drop up to 100.00.  i'd think that was fair.  but i'm a huge fan of his work so that might be too high...on the other hand i'm a cheapskate and don't spend more than 100.00 on anything that isn't a tool or a part for my el camino so 100.00 might be low.

hell if i know, look they are sketchbooks that i used daily to work out ideas, characters, and page layouts and they are up for grabs.  at this point i think there is only one bidder on them and i've had 2 dozen people ask me about them.  so i'm not answering any more questions...if you're that curious buy one and look for yourself.

www.ebay.com keyword arsenic lullaby 

and to give you a slightly better look at the skecthbooks here is a u-tube video of each

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpFKsiFG8p8

and here

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mrFe6s-e00

and here

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6gA4P6vv3Q

(for someone specific and the rest of you too)

In the end being happy is pretty simple...i know how that sounds coming from me, what i mean to say is that it's not complicated. The most important thing in your life is the people you surround yourself with. That's all that really matters, whether or not you surround yourself with quality people and cast off the assholes.

once you determine someone is no good you need to send them packing. it is not your job to fix people, or be mother Teresa and take their abuse in hopes that they change on their own.  now...there are certain cases where someone has earned the right to a couple of bad days, or is going through a rough patch or you know in the end they are decent and so you cut them some slack...while telling them to stop being an asshole or they can go be fucked.  i'm not saying to turn your back on someone who has earned your friendship.  i'm talking about right from jumpstreet, is this person quality or not.

because 90% of the bullshit problems in life can all be avoided by spending as little time with assholes as possible.  now there is the percentage of assholes that you can't do much to avoid because you work with them, BUT all the rest you can just walk away from.  this includes family.  being blood does not mean your life has to be filled with someone else's drama/problems that they richly deserve and often seek out.  that's what assholes do ( include loser in the asshole category in this specific blog) they create their own problems, the let small problems become big problems with laziness, and magically their problems end up being your problems.

if you stay away from assholes you not only avoid all the problems that stem from their assholeness BUT that also means you, be simple process of elimination are surrounded by decent people who will help you with the remaining 10% of life's bullshit problems.  and i don't just mean that for each asshole you eliminate there is an open spot for a decent person- thing to remember good people avoid assholes...SO if you have assholes in your life, even if you are NOT an asshole, you will likely be avoided by good people because of the assholes you are constantly around. 

you want good people around you.

this applies to friends family AND dating.  you really have to judge people by their character.  you really need to ignore all the nervousness and not being cool or confident the first couple of times you go out with someone.  Really,  you are doing yourself an injustice by not giving the person a little time to get comfortable and stop being nervous and get a little balance so that his actual personality can come out.  everybody gets nervous and no body (for the most part) is really acting like themselves the first couple of interactions...hey even i get insecure once in awhile, it just never shows because i'm really comfortable in my own skin and so i don't care if look like i'm nervous...so then i don't look nervous even though i'm nervous because i don't care that i'm nervous.  it's a rare  ability to generate insane circular logic that i have. what you just need to focus on what is important-is he/she a good person, is he/she kind, is he/she treating me nicely. 


seriously...start with that! THEN once you have that , if you can look around and top it then great.  but the world is littered with good decent lonely people, and also ironically littered with people who are dating or married and getting treated like shit.  it sounds like i'm talking apple pie in the sky here but it's true. really just focus on being a good person and surrounding yourself with good people. 

now some of you will say "that's pretty good coming from you, you never date anyone ugly nor will you let anyone unattractive work at your shows." FIRST OFF...I've never said i wouldn't date someone ugly...i just haven't needed to. I've been able to find plenty of quality women who are also hot.  and look i'm a world class illustrator i need to have arm candy for the sake of my image...it's the cross i have to bear.  you understand that don't you?  why...if i where to be walking around at a convention with an ugly person, people would assume i didn't look hard enough to find a good looking person who was quality. see i am a world traveler, pretty and talented so i drink from a different pool, i hate to break it to you. The one perk of sacrificing for your dreams for a decade is that you are closer to the top of the dating food chain.  for whatever reason being an "artist" trumps pretty much anything else at least until the shine wears off the apple...so me with an ugly or even average person on my arm would be a sign of lack of ambition and laziness and decent people don't want to be around lazy people and so by not having a hot shallow woman with me i would be unable to attack decent people so that i no longer have to be surrounded by hot shallow people...you see the second i replace that shallow person who is hot with a decent person who is not hot i will lose the ability to fill my life with decent people...you follow me?  . look...just stop asking questions and listen. 

 

bottom line to life is this 1-don't be an asshole  2-don't be around assholes.  simple yes? 

looks...are superficial, don't judge people by that or by them seeming nervous or unconfident that is all just superficial things that are not even an issue after a little while. i wish i could say it in some other way that didn't sound contrite or like a fairy tale but i can't.  please just trust me that what is inside a person is what counts...now next time when i say you need to "take one for the team"..."YOU BETTER TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM"...got it?!  no whining no "but she's but shes's"...none of that, the hot one chose me...and that's all there is too it. now stop being so superficial and keep the ugly girl occupied.