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Mati-chan

Matthieu Morelle


Last Updated: 11/9/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Single
Age: 18
Sign: Aquarius

City: Kealba, Melbourne
State: Victoria
Country: AU
Signup Date: 2/24/2007

Blog Archive
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Wednesday, May 27, 2009 

Current mood:  depressed
Lu la tout,


J'ai decidé écrire de ma vie. C'est pas intéressant MDR... Mais j'ai besoin de écrire à cause de je n'ai personne pour parler avec moi. Je déteste ma vie; c'est ennuyer! Je n'ai pas du travail, je n'ai pas de l'école, je n'ai pas de la vie sociale. Je n'ai rien faire par le jour et mes rêves sont horrible par la nuit.

Tous les jours je voudrai pleurer! J'ai peur que un jour je me tuerai... Parfois je pence à se couper! Je ne le fais rien!!! Mais je le pence!!! Je pence à boir les produits chemiques sous le compartiment de cuisine. Je pence à sauter avant les voitures. Je pence le pencées mauvais! mais je dois vivre!!!

Je me discute avec ma meilleur amie. Elle est une peu idiote, mais je l'aime! Parfois je deviens fâché et je la gronde pour pas raison! Je suis un ami mauvais... 


À Juillet je commencerai le cours de Nursing à la Vicorian University. Il sera dificile mais j'éspoir cet je terminerai!


Je dois partir ... 

Au revoir... je me plaindrai plus tard MRD...

5:25 AM 
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Monday, January 12, 2009 

Current mood:  okay
When I see your smile,
Tears roll down my face
I can't replace.
And now that I'm strong, I have figured out,
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul.
And I know I'll find deep inside me,
I can be the one.

I will never let you fall. (let you fall.)
I'll stand up with you forever.
I'll be there for you through it all. (through it all.)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven.

It's okay,
It's okay,
It's okay-ay-ay-ay-ay.

Seasons are changing,
And waves are crashing,
And stars are falling all for us.
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter,
I can show you I'll be the one.

I will never let you fall. (let you fall.)
I'll stand up with you forever.
I'll be there for you through it all. (through it all.)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven.

'Cause you're my, you're my, my-e-y-e-y,
My true love, my whole heart.
Please don't throw that away.
'Cause I'm here... for you!
Please don't walk away and,
Please tell me you'll stay!

Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Stay!
Whoa-oh!

Use me as you will!
Pull my strings just for a thrill!
And I know I'll be okay,
Though my skies are turning grey! (grey! grey! )

I will never let you fall!
I'll stand up with you forever!
I'll be there for you through it all,
Even if saving you sends me to heaven!

I will never let you fall!
I'll stand up with you forever!
I'll be there for you through it all, v Even if saving you sends me to heaven! (continues until fades out)



... This song never fails to get me lmao! *sighs* I'm such a sook sometimes... I guess I'm just a hopeless romantic :P this song make me cry because it reminds me of what I want but can't have... He knows who he is...

well I'll put some other songs up soon I guess...
11:42 AM 
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Tuesday, November 18, 2008 

Current mood:  lonely
Category: Blogging
Sometimes it just feels like no one cares... its just the small things...
Someone doesn't reply to a text, I assume they don't wanna talk
I don't see some one on msn in a while, I assume the have blocked me
Someone is a bit grumpy, I assmue they are mad at me...
Even when people openly worry and care about me it seems like they r just being nice so they don't hurt me...
I feel so alone, even when im with people (sometimes that makes it worse)
It gets so bad sometimes I wish I were dead... I wish I was atm... but there are people who want me people who need me... even if I can't see it sometimes...
I just wish
I wish I could be happy
I guess im just having a self pitty trip, being oversensitive, or having an extremely low self esteme moment... but yeah...
I feel empty and alone...

xxXiLoVeOlI4eVaXx

2:33 PM 
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Monday, November 10, 2008 

Current mood:  infuriated
Category: Writing and Poetry
Purged
By me

Im so sick
Of the hate that you force upon me
Im so sick
Of the guilt with which you burden me

You don't deserve
My love
You don't deserve
My hate

You are nothing to me
No more shall my soul
Be bound to your corps
No longer will you bind me

You betrayed me
With your knife
You defiled our love
With you poison

You took my soul
When you went to Hell
Now I claim what's mine
So I can love again.

12:09 AM 
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Saturday, October 25, 2008 

Current mood:  depressed
Category: Life
Well I guess I'll give you all un update on my life... no one will read it so it don't really matter...

Curently I have basically no friends... I can count them on the fingers of my right hand... due to a not so sudden aversion to people I kinda havnt left my house in about 2 months :s unless it was absolutly nesisary...

Ever since I got expelled from High School my life has lost meaning. It has meandered off into less than mediocraty! I have nothing to do with my life, no purpose, no drive, no anything.

I've tried to find some purpose again; I've been looking for jobs. But with my new found Social Phobia its kind of hard to go hand in a Resumé with out shaking and stuttering let alone go to a job interview...

So I tried some other stuff... reading... I thought id do some study while I was un occupied... but it turns out if there's no purpose behind the study, then it loses interest.

French... I turned my focus onto the devvelopment of my skills in French... turns out I don't really have that much skill and what's the point of learning a language if ur never going to use it?

Domestic work... I though, well im not doing anything... so why not clean... that was good for a while... kept my mind busy and hands hard at work (my family are a bunch of pigs)... but looking after a bunch of people who don't apreciate you and openly loath you isn't very satisfying.

So now im applying to TAFE for the Cert IV in nursing... I have no doubts what so ever that it will be a bust! So while I get my hopes up about it I've been trying to think of some more stuff to do to numb my brain when I fail at yet another thing.

Now lets bitch about the few friends I actually have... well start with the bigest bitchiest backstabbing ho I know, Kayla.

What a fucking bitch... I have always stood by her! Helped her through her bad times; been there to listen; given advice when she wants it and emotionally blackmailed her when she needed it! And now that im going through a rough patch she decides she doesn't wanna be friends untill I get my life back on track!

Well she can get fucked if she thinks im ever talking to her again! I have deleted, burnt or ripped up everything that could remind me off her... she can burn in Hell like she deserves!

Anyway... im trying to be more social... on tuesday im going to Chadstone to do some christmas shopping for my boyfriend and the few friends I have! Then on Sunday im meeting up with randoms from the net (the epitomy of pathetic *sighs*)

Ok bye,
Id better go befor I end up writing a whole novel soaked in self pitty and self loathing...

I love you;
Oli
Cass
Brandon
Isaac
Andy
And anyone I left out...

xxXiLoVeOlI4eVaXx

1:46 PM 
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Wednesday, August 15, 2007 

Current mood:  apathetic

Untitled has a name now it's Mystery of life

And I edited it a bit so I'm putting in the new version...

Untitled

Hate burns deep in my core
As I ponder why I live
Why me? Why you? Why us?
That is what I'll think
While I sit and think some more.

Suddenly an insite
My hate for humanity rises
I realize my pain has been in vain
I know now why I'm here
And what I am for.

Anger boils in my veins
As the meaning of life draws upon me
I know what I'm for, what I need to do
I lift the knife to my wrist
And say goodbye to the world

Dark Destiny

Winter snow blows throught the wind
As she walks toward her future
Her destiny, The destiny, our destiny
All humans walk as one, to death.

Hot tears burn as they fall down her face
She knows her time has come at last
Fate has drawn her to this place today
She lies down and waits for the inevitable.

Vibrations roar through her small body
While she waits for death to take her
She knows she has lived her life well
As she sees death coming at her.

Cold hard metal bites into her back
The train tracks screem in agony
As the train shoots around the corner
Her brain runs along the side of the train.

Death comes and she embraces him
She has finally fulfilled her destiny
She knew she'd done the right thing
Her soul can rest in peace at last!

I Would Never

I would jump a thousand moons
And leep a million stars.
I would forsake a thousand kings
And forgo a million bars.
But my love for you is so strong
I would never do you any wrong!


GGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDD... I hate the last poem it's as cheesy as the others are whiny! GGGGGGGRRRRRRRRR to me for writing shuch drive!

7:03 AM 
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Wednesday, August 15, 2007 

Current mood:  apathetic

Suicide

Drip, drip, drip

 

My blood is dripping down the drain

And I realize I can feel no pain

Blackness swallows up my sight

I can't see the light

 

I fall to the ground and there I lie

I hear a screem from way up high

"Help, oh help!"

Too late, I die.

6:36 AM 
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Friday, April 13, 2007 

Current mood:  happy

she turned to their side
but choice not her own
her heart will not bleed
but flood so unknown
the depth of the fangs
the warmth of her blood
the depth of her pain
to drain them and flood
her eyes they're so cold
her dream to the night
the rain floods like death
to her she takes flight
the tree to the wood
the stake to the hand
her paint that she feels
despair never ends
she takes it the stake
the sharp pointed stake
she finished it then
death was no mistake

Mi sis wrote this! Poetry runs in the family... U'll never see any of my peoms MAWHAHAHAHA!

4:38 AM 
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