My witty blog titles aside, I do have another space where I put my ill-conceived thoughts onto the screen.

Please visit: http://postcardsfromthecounterculture.blogspot.com/

I also write for some nice chaps at the: www.themusicblogs.com.au

One day I might write here on a regular basis (again) but I am just not that prolific (read: I'm lazy).

Smell you later.

Over 2 years ago I wrote a blog called 'Big Block Of Cheese Day'. Inspired by the semi-regular event on The West Wing, the idea of the blog was to let out any inane and trivial thoughts previously lodged in my brain. Focused primarily on music, I made bold claims about not owning any Beatles albums (no change) and (very) loose connections between ABBA and Autism.

This time around I will touch on other areas of Pop Culture so that you may gain a further understanding of what goes on in that melon of mine. Or perhaps you couldn't care less.

I'm guessing the latter.

- More songs I can do without ever hearing again: 'Don't Dream It's Over' Crowded House, 'My Happiness' Powderfinger, 'Somewhere Over The Rainbow' Anyone

- My favourite opening line of any novel: Evelyn was an insomniac so when they say she died in her sleep, you have to question that. Pontoon by Garrison Keillor

- Based purely on how many times I watched it at the movies (5), Heat is my all time favourite film. That's about 15 hours folks. I'm neither proud or ashamed at that.

- Why is it that more people would rather a new Lauryn Hill album than Guns N Roses' 'Chinese Democracy' yet the latter is more likely to happen?

- I take comfort in the fact that 'Chinese Democracy' can be nothing but a spectacular failure.

- As long as Danny Wallace and Dave Gorman keep writing about 'silly boy projects', I'll continue feeling comfortable about my lack of maturity.

- Midnight Run is a shining example of Robert De Niro at his comedic best, though he is clearly overshadowed by the delightful Charles Grodin.

- Essential live versions: 'Clarity' John Mayer (from As/Is), 'Round Here' Counting Crows (from Across A Wire: Live In New York City - 2nd disc), 'Bring It On Home To Me' Sam Cooke (from One Night Stand: Live At the Harlem Square Club)

- The Sopranos: Not one wasted word. Perfectly scripted right up to its thrilling end.

-  Memo to the Dave Matthews Band: Stop entertaining stoned American college kids in never ending summer tours and record a new album. A new studio album.

- Diminishing returns: Chuck Palahniuk's novels

- Dramatically diminishing returns: Cameron Crowe's filmography

- Never ending returns: Bruce Springsteen's deep back catalogue

- If American sitcoms only lasted 2 seasons with 6 episodes per season like British sitcoms, do you think they would be held in higher esteem? Think about that one.

- Favourite songs that happen to cover the delicate issue of abortion: 'Brick' Ben Folds Five, 'Driving With The Brakes On' Del Amitri, 'Choir Girl' Cold Chisel.

- Once now occupies equal top ranking as my music film of choice. The other is The Commitments which also happens to feature Glen Hansard.

- Vampire Weekend? New York can keep them.

Back when I had far too much time on my hands, I maintained a music review website that was far too sarcastic for its own good. When I wasn't lambasting easy targets like William Hung, I was taking pot shots at Paul McCartney at every opportunity.

In between the acid-toungued barbs I wrote a regular column called 'Postcards from the Counter Culture' which contained far more substance than my lazy reviews about the legacy of The Beatles.

On one such occassion I talked about the importance of choosing the right song to use for the bridal waltz. Apparently that particular article caught the eye of a friend of mine, who brought up that long forgotten nugget of web history the other day to enquire what my perfect wedding song was.

Now I deliberately never mentioned my perfect song selection in the article because, selfish as it may sound, I wanted to keep it for myself when I would one day get married.

I know what you're thinking but if you know me then this is not out of character.

Like Rob Gordon said: "Books, records, films -- these things matter. Call me shallow but it's the fuckin' truth."

But in a completely unselfish act I have given it away to Ivan who will use it next weekend at his wedding. Call it my wedding gift to him and Erin.

So where does that leave me? Well certainly I need a new song but, much to my Mother's chagrin, I don't think I am on a tight deadline at the moment. The search for these sorts of things should take a while. They should be a challenge. Decisions like this shouldn't be so throwaway.

Much like finding the right woman to dance to it with on that special night.

Though I loved the song that I gave away, my release of it has now put me on the offensive. Suddenly I am listening to lyrics of songs again, appreciating the subtle turns of phrase that great songwriters use to hook you in. My ears are open once more and that can only be a good thing.

As strange as it may sound, the above title is the most heartwarming thing anyone has said to me in a while. Mind you it was a Facebook application dishing out the compliment but the sentiment remains.

My rise in stock as the most absentee can (I assume) be attributed to my close friends and family on the Gold Coast. It has now been over a year since I left the sunny confines of the Goldy for the chilly surrounds of Melbourne and all it has to offer: football, great pubs and food, football and my zany extended family. And football.

I have done my best whilst living down here to make it back home on the odd occasion, some trips planned, others a cool surprise. When I do head back, it is game on and for those 48 to 72 hours (often less) it is like I never left.

As much as I enjoy the time spent there, Melbourne is now my home and I still have much more to experience down here. The great thing about moving down was that I never put a time limit on it. Therefore my days aren't constantly filled looking at my calender and thinking, "I've got X months left to do such and such."

I can go back when I want, if I want, and know it is a decision without any regrets.

But with each month that passes, it is one more month filled with parties and get togethers back on the Gold Coast that I miss out on. Something about not having your cake and eating it as well. I hope it is in this non-attendance that I am fondly chosen as more absent compared to another friend.

In the next few months that will be rectified as I return to the GC to see two of my close friends from high school get married (within 6 weeks of each other!) and a dear couple I have known for a decade become parents for the first time.
 
So while I can't be there for every birthday shindig or special ocassion, I hope the ones I do attend are memorable enough to last until the next time I return.

I miss you all too.

Stu

I've been thinking a lot lately of my love of music and flirting with the thought of putting together a podcast to champion the music of artists that deserve someone in their corner.

To quote Lance Corporal Harold W. Dawson: "We were supposed to fight for the people who couldn't fight for themselves."

So with that in mind, here are a bunch of songs I always turn to on my iPod. Songs that "in a perfect world" would be all over radio like a rash. A good rash.

Note: All these tracks are available on iTunes (* except where indicated). Have a listen and find something that isn't James fucking Blunt.

'Roll To Me' - David Gillespie (taken from the album Out In The Real World)
'The Many Faces Of Esther' - D Henry Fenton (taken from the album Autumn Sweet)
'To The Grave' - Jason Brody (taken from the album To The Quick)
'Better Off Dancing' - Jen Cloher & The Endless Sea (taken from the album Deadwood Falls)
'Don't You Know' - Steven Jaymes (taken from the album Black 17)
'Ant' - Lady Bird (taken from the EP Lady Bird)*
'Watch The River Run' - Ryan Meeking (taken from the album Broken Cars & Empty Promises)*
'I'm Nowhere Now' - Dan Parsons (taken from the album Old Brown Shoe)
'The Way' - Red Season (taken from the EP Make It Your Own)*
'Love' - Ben Stewart (taken from the album Social Architecture)

Happy listening and discovering.

Disco Stu

One of the delights in working at a place with a staff force bigger than three is the opportunity to leave the office on a Friday lunchtime and go have a pint and a meal. At the record store that was nigh on impossible (though many a time we thought about it), but at my current job it is more the norm, in fact near mandatory.

The guys I work with are a great bunch of blokes. We all like a cheeky pint at the end of the working week and our conversations aren't ever confined to the state of play in the office.

Given our location in the centre of Melbourne we have become quite lazy recently when it comes to our venue of choice. Right across the road from work stands one of the biggest bars in the city. On Friday lunchtime it is nice and quiet but in just 6 hours time it turns into a packed house of suits and skirts and arrogant bouncers.

Rarely do I venture there once I clock off but beforehand it has done it's job for a lunchtime drink and nibble. But the thing is, this is Melbourne we are talking about. Here we have some of the best bars and pubs in the country. Why should we be going back to the same place over and over again? Come to think of it, everytime we go we complain about the music like it is being sound tracked by a depressed loner with a penchant for Chris Isaak. And like a colleague pointed out the other day, "Have you noticed the steady increase in the drinks prices?"

Now that he mentions it, he's right. Incidentally my bank manager agrees.

Therefore it is time for some action. No longer will we take the lazy approach to our Friday lunch. This is a city with so much to offer and it is high time we take full advantage of it. I am not expecting we traipse halfway across town for a frothy one because, in the end, we don't have all day (we do have a big 4 bank to run). But we should be exploring what is close by. Sure, if I had my way we would go to my favourite pub each time but these days you have to book well in advance to get a seat for a meal it isn't worth the hassle.

So I hope that this Friday, we can sit down to a decent meal with a pint of the good stuff and the same witty banter - just in a different locale.

I woke this morning with barely a voice to order breakfast from my local cafe. My Marcel Marceau impression was the result of going to the football last night. I would have been comforted if the majority of my screaming last night was cheering my team on as they snapped an 8 game losing streak but alas it wasn't. We won and yes I was jubilant with the score but my yelling was due to the decreasing quality in umpiring.

Now it is never sporting to whinge about the umpires when your team loses so it seems only fair that since we notched up a rare win this season I would take this opportunity to take a huge dump on the AFL and the umpiring system.

Last night's game between my beloved Bombers and West Coast Eagles was the most pathetic display of umpiring I have ever witnessed. Inconsistent decision making from the maggots has caused frustration in the players and spectators thereby taking the fun out of this unique game. Last time I checked, if you face the boundary and handball directly into the fence then that is a deliberate out of bounds. Not so according to Messrs Rosebury, Chamberlain and Jeffery.

That was the most blatant mistake last night, a night that saw me yell at umpires compared to cheering my team on at a factor of about 2:1.

I realise that Aussie Rules has got more grey areas in its rules than any other sport on the planet but it has got to the point that if I didn't have a team to support - I would give up on this great game. I sit here this evening glancing at the Crows v Hawks game on the TV screen (a game consisting of two teams I could really care less about) and I find myself yelling at the umpires at absolutely stupid decisions affecting both sides. That's not right, in fact it is bang out of order. I shouldn't be yelling at umpires full stop let alone in a game that holds as much interest for me as masturbating to pictures of Beth Ditto.

Assuming I don't have anger issues (or a penchant for overweight lesbian musicians), then who do I point the finger at? The umpires themselves are an easy target but we all have somebody to serve. Since Jeff Gieschen has taken on the role of Umpire's manager we have seen a steady decline in the interpretations of rules.

Why this man is in charge still is beyond me. The first sign he was no good should have been in the interview process when he had Richmond Coach 1997 - 1999 listed on his CV.

The other person that should take the blame is Andrew Demetriou and the pack of cronies he hangs out with. Treating the league like their own facist regime, Demetriou and Co continue to bury their heads in the sand on the issues that need fixing (the flawed draft system, the flawed tribunal system, the aforementioned state of umpiring) yet will stick their noses in areas where it is none of their business. I can't wait for the day North Melbourne play the future Gold Coast franchise and flog the ever loving shit out of them.

For the short term though, I will continue to see the Bombers play and will cheer them on like any one eyed supporter should. Just know my other eye will be on those maggots ruining the game.

The other day I was tagged in a meme by my good friend David Gillespie. Apparently this thing has been going since the start of the year. The thing is quite simple, I have to tell you all 8 random facts about myself then tag 8 others to do the same.

So here goes nothing:

1. Well I was born in a small town (a Mellencamp reference for the trainspotters) in the Latrobe Valley in Southern Victoria. To give you an indication of how small it is, I was born in the same hospital room as my Father, my Brother and my Sister.

2. When I was an infant I developed hearing difficulties to the point that the specialists believed I was lip reading just to get by. I don't remember any of this of course but it does make me wonder how different my life would have been if I wasn't able to hear.

3. When I moved to Queensland in November of 91 I was put up a year due to the different cut-off dates with ages. As such, I only ever did a month of Grade 6. By far they were the hardest 4 weeks of school in my life. It was like I had been in a coma for a year and everyone else in my class got smarter.

4. The origins of my nickname Garfield: In the mid 90s on the weekends (when I wasn't playing football) I would curl into my Sister's mini sofa bed and watch TV like Garfield in his little box. To this day, Dad calls me Garfield (rarely ever Stuart).

5. My favourite book I have read (and re-read several times) is The Riders by Tim Winton. It is a beautifully written novel but one that is achingly frustrating due to its plot. Some people feel cheated by it, instead I find it rewarding every time I pick it up.

6. The first 6 months of tertiary education was a double degree in Mathematics and International Finance. For the life of me I can't remember why I chose the course (I guess I had good grades in Economics and Maths at High School) but you would not believe the feeling of liberation I had when I switched to Journalism. It is with a sense of irony that my current employment finds me working for one of the big 4 banks.

7. If I was ever to go on the Einstein Factor, my chosen subject would be the band Crowded House. I know an unfortunate amount of useless music trivia (that's right ladies I'm still single) but non more so than on this band. They were my Beatles growing up and when Paul Hester died I was numb for days. The song 'Distant Sun' is near perfection.

8. I often get a ribbing for my tattoo of the Essendon Football Club emblem, in particular the seasons where we are not flying high like this year. Though it proudly sits side by side with the tattoo of my McPhee Family crest, the motto of which translates to: For The King. A motto that doesn't really fit in with our sheep stealing history but you play the cards you were dealt.

So enough about me, now it is your turn. The 8 people I am tagging (chosen randomly) are as follows:

Jason Puie: One of my oldest friends and an all round top bloke - Fact!
Emily Hosking: My replacement in the Record Store. Much more cheerful and better looking than yours truly. And can play music so she is one up on me.
Alan MacKinnon: A very smart man who I can discuss the collected works of Aaron Sorkin with and not feel like a nerd.
April Williams: A great woman who is technically family I've known her for so long.
Marcus Twohig: An old Uni buddy. His tales of life and travel I never tire of.
Rachael Thompson: My close friend from High School who lives over the other side of the world.
Damian McComb: Because he is Billy.
and finally Jacqui Harrison: We went to Uni together for all of a month or so 8 years ago. I don't remember much studying but I do remember a lot of laughing.

Cheers,

Stu

Though it may sound like a preposterous notion, yesterday was known as Record Store Day. Hey if we can have World Rabies Day, it is only fair we can spend 24 hours observing the place where a lot of people shape their musical tastes.

As most of you know, I spent 8 and a half brilliant years working in a record store before I was suddenly hit with something blunt and sold my soul to become a corporate fat cat. My tenure behind the counter at Atlantis Music was deeply rewarding and one that will live with me forever. There was nothing better than connecting with the punters on a personal level, trading music suggestions and advising against purchasing certain albums. I would like to think I was partly to blame for the relatively poor sales of 12 Memories by Travis.

Other times, no matter how hard I pushed an album, it would remain neglected and eventually heavily discounted and still neglected. The Feeler's Communicate is a killer album and if you can spare three dollars you can also own it.

As I approach a year out of the record store I have glanced back at my musical purchases since and while it has been a pretty good hit and miss ratio it is glaringly obvious that it is missing something: new artists.

Everything I have bought in the past 12 months has been from bands and singers I am already accustomed to from anticipated sophomore efforts (Lupe Fiasco's The Cool) to tried and true acts (Counting Crows) to bands I would never have guessed I would hear from again (Crowded House). Great albums but safe purchases one and all.

So why haven't I purchased any new artists? There are a number of excuses but sheer laziness on my behalf is a good starting point. I don't really listen to radio these days, I can't recall the last time I tuned into Rage and music magazines have been eradicated from my usual reading material.

I let my subscription to Rolling Stone lapse because the journalism was bordering on rubbish. Q magazine got the flick because if I wanted to read Top 100 lists every month I would gather at a pub with my mates and thrash out our own Top 5000 Guitar Riffs of all time. I can tell you now, The Beatles wouldn't make a fucking appearance either!

Something had to be done about listening to new artists before I suddenly became that 40 something white collar worker who is only interested in bands that formed before 1983.

It therefore made sense to put my faith in the very people I used to be.

So last week I called up my old store and asked them to put together a list of artists I should check out. I would either do a bit of homework on the net and say yes or no or go with my gut and their sage advice and take a chance. Currently I have them sending me an album by a girl called Rachael Brady and they have supplied me with a list that will keep me busy for a while.

But I must also be a bit more pro-active. My affiliation with a record store 1800 km away means my exposure to new music down south will focus on live gigs from bands like The RGBs.

Either way it is time to stop mucking about and get back into the game.

Reliability has always been one of my strong points. I hate to disappoint anyone and as a result I rarely say no to anything - the downside to being a ’regular 3AK Good Guy’.

But before I know it, I am in over my head like a modern day Harry Flashman and looking for a way to resurface before things go pear shaped. So in a brave (perhaps stupid) act of selfishness I have decided to pull back my offers of help or commitment to anyone or anything.

This is a temporary measure and normal programming will resume sooner than you can say: "Stu can I get you to..."

Though for the meantime, when I say, "Sorry I can’t...", the real reason will be one of the following:

- Listening to the first new Counting Crows album in 8 years.
- Lamenting the fact that it will be just as long until I hear the next album.
- Enjoying the return of the McFeast Burger at McDonalds.
- Lamenting the fact that it is a little smaller than what I remembered.
- Finishing the +700 page novel ’A Fraction Of The Whole’.
- Then reading the Mark Seymour biography.
- And then at least 4 other books I can think of off the top of my head.
- Chuck Palahniuk’s ’Snuff’. Make that 5.
- Watching the new Indiana Jones film.
- Watching the IMAX film ’U2:3D’.
- Writing more articles for Lost At E Minor.
- Attending another Essendon game.
- Debating whether to purchase the new R.E.M. album only to be disappointed.
- Getting around to watching ’The Mighty Boosh’.
- Wondering if I need to be a stoner to really enjoy ’The Mighty Boosh’.
- Screening calls from my (soon to be angry) Father when he eventually watches the final episode of The Sopranos.

That last one isn’t a selfish act, it really will be the reason why I’m not taking your call.

Consider yourself warned.