We arrived in Oklahoma after 2 days of travel.  Two teens, a cat, a U-Haul trailer full of belongings, and myself half way across the country to start over again.  The trip was not too shabby actually.  Hungry? Stop and eat.  Tired? Stop and rest.  We weren't in a hurry once we got on the road.  The cat did not care for the pet carrier in the least so 8 hours out of the gate, we braved letting the cat ride loose in the Mountaineer with us.  He was as happy as a clam.  Pawing at he air vent when he got hot, mewing if he had to go potty or if he was hungry.  Hell he did better than most adults I've taken road trips with. 

Upon our arrival Holly had prepared our lodging, our dinner and made us comfortable.  We ate, showered, gave out hugs kisses a little chit chat and I believe between Logan Collan and myself, we probably slept a full 24 hours LOL.  It took us the better part of a week to get our bearings in the new town.  Finally after asking, Begging, INSISTING, and then the threat of legal action we were faxed Logan and Collan's school transcripts and shot records.  I got them enrolled, then registered into their new schools.  Culture shock then insued.  (just a little shock, not serious panic).  The education system here is I have to say leaps and bounds above the schools they are used to.  Logan is taking German as a foreign language this year.  She only had a choice between French and Spanish in the last school she attended.  Collan was amazed that they even have classes where you take care of animals (Agriculture FFA).  No, living on the east coast on the beach, you don't get that sort of class.  So he of course signed up being the animal lover that he is.  Collan also has had the pleasure of being introduced to dirt track racing thanks to his Brother-in-law. 

So far we are on the proverbial road to Self-sufficiency, here in our new town.  We are card carrying members of the local library.  We have achieved residency, and we all have new goals to strive for.  One day a a time, then a week at a time, then a month...Compromise and Cooperation are working. 

Each of us had our reasons for deciding to make the move, most of them damn good ones.  I have found however even when you make a good move to a new place; even when you know you made the right decision, and would absolutely do it again; Some things just do not go away.  You can't run from ALL the bad and sometimes you just have to deal with baggage.  Sitting outside in the evenings after the kids go to bed these past few evenings I've come to realize that my life has definately changed, and of course and absolutely it is definately for the better.  There will be some things I will miss that I will probably never have again.  No matter where you go in this large world  if you've lost a mate, one that you thought you'd spend your own eternity with...It does suck to lie down alone at night and have no one to go over your dreams, goals and accomplishments with. 

Oh well Tomorrow starts a new week, more interviews this week.  My goal is to have a full time position by the end of next week.  Look forward to tomorrow and try not to dwell in the past too much, or I suppose you'll lose sight of what is most important.  Survival and the health and happiness of your family.

Emma Lillian is 9 months old!  Nana's lil' flower.

 
Almost 7 months old, Emma visits St. Nick December 2008

 
Five months old.  Shhhh  we need a nap before an afternoon at the park.

 
9/28/08  She is growing so fast!



 
09/05/08  (Mommy and Me picture) Both of them are beauties.

 
07/27/08 (12 weeks old!!)

06/26/08 (Army Life)
The Marienes may be looking for a few good Men, but I know a branch who has a few good Women.  She's back to work full time active duty.  She is also a full time mom and a wife.  SHE is my hero.  I love you Holly.

06/21/08 (getting dressed is exhausting work)

06/16/08 (6 weeks already??)

 
06/08/08 (Look at who loves me!)

06/07/08 This weeks picture (chillin')

 
 
05/30/08 Picture of the week (Nap Time)
ok..all together now... "Awwwww"

 
05/24/08
He he he She's a doll.  This is my picture of the week.

 
04/18/08
I awoke to a picture message on my cell phone.  The caption to the message read:  "Good Morning Grandma, I just wanted to share my breakfast with you".  I wanna go back to Texas LOL!!!!  I left somthing there I hafta have!

 
05/14/08
Holly or Michael send me a picture every day of Lilly.  Even if it's just a quick picture taken with the cell phone and sent.  It keeps me there with them sort of.  Helps me stay a part of their family, and watching that beautiful little girl growing, and getting stronger every day. 

 
 
 
 
05/05/08
Emma Lillian was born at 8:50 am on Sunday May 4th.  She weighed 6lbs, 14oz.  She is 20 inches long, she has blue eyes and smooth lilly white skin just like her mommy.  Mom and baby are both doing fine.  As soon as I get back to the house I will upload an ASS LOAD of pictures.  Next few days I'm spending as much time with them as I can.  This grandma thing ain't half bad!
 

 

I have; since I can remember been a caretaker of someone, somthing. Not that I am complaining, my children are my heros and everything I have ever done for them, or with them I would do again and again until the end of time.  

Recently I find myself in a new place, one where I am caretaker of me first.  It was a very unfortunate turn of events that has landed me in this place, however I have come to believe after the pain and heartache and lessons I have learned over the past 16 years (some good, some very very bad) that now it's my turn.  I am learning to be who I want to be. 

I used to joke about people who would say "I'm searching for myself" my thought was.. "buddy?  if you don't know who, or where you are....they make medications for that".  Now I understand what that means.  I am learning who I am how I want to live for me, make my own choices without the guilt of not doing for others first and putting me on hold.  I like it.  I can say no.  I can say back off.  I can remove myself from any situation I want because now I have MY choices.  I took them for granted for so long.

So here is to new beginnings, new places, new friends, new lovers, and  brand new me...LOOK OUT WORLD HERE I FINALLY COME!