This morning I absent mindedly picked up the phone and dialed my mom's phone number and it began to ring before I realized she wasn't there anymore. For a moment I felt a pang of sorrow. I wasn't angry, I didn't cry. It was one of those little moments in life to remind me of where I am, and again to count my many blessings.
Two days after my mom passed away I recieved a small box in the mail from The Bradford Exchange. It was an Italian charm bracelet mom had ordered over a month prior, it was to be part of my Christmas gift. The bracelet reads:
My Daughter, when You're sad, I wish you joy. When You're lonely, I wish you Love. When You're Discouraged, I wish You Hope. When Your Spirit is low, I wish you Beauty, When you're Troubled, I wish you Peace.
Life changes in the blink of an eye, and all we can do is make the decision to embrace the change or resist it. I'm glad my mom taught me this past year to embrace change. She prepared me for so many things, things that I'm just beginning to see. I am so very lucky that when my Ex hurt the children and I so badly last year, she was there to help me pick up the pieces, wipe my tears, listen to me vent when I was frustrated, hurt, angry and depressed. She helped me make the difficult transition I had to make. In a way, she was absent mindedly preparing me for what was to come, just as absent mindedly as I picked up the phone to call her this morning.
We do what we do because of who we love, how we are raised, and we do it without a second thought. It's uncontious, unconditional love. I miss her, and I love her so very much.