I haven't even had this page on MySpace set up for a week yet, and already my first weirdo! The following message was in my inbox this morning:
hello, It is great pleasure that fills me up when i view your profile and displayed pic. How i do wish to meet with you and have a chat with you in order that we may know ourselves the more. To make it easier and better, can you please mail me your yahoo messenger id,so that i can add you to my list, i am online right now. You can add me to your messenger list if you dont mind. Hope to meet you in any of the stated options. pls try adding me to your yahoo messenger. I am presently in Texas right now cos of my occcupation,i travelled out there for a civil engineering work. I need some one who would be there for me as my soulmate and for a long term relationship,and someone i can call my wife, It might be that you are the one cos you really look so good and caring but we cannot be all this by not being friends at fisrt, so i..ll want us to know eachother first by communicating.you can also add me to your yahoo messenger list,and you should send your yahoo id as for me to send my pics to you, Pls try and reply back preferably to my email ....gary_sullivan10@yahoo.com.
gary
Gosh.
Considering the "displayed pic" that "fills him up with great pleasure" is a 5-tentacled stuffed animal, this would be more than slightly worrying, if it didn't look highly like form-written spam. Heh.
Still, this may technically be the first time anyone's asked me out in quite a few years! As always my various friends and acquaintances have stepped forth with wise words of wit and wisdom to support me in this difficult decision.
Namae said,
You should totally write back to him about how happy you are to have found your one true love at first sight over the internet without ever having to respond back or communicate in any way. Then add in how you intend to wrap him in your five fuzzy tentacles and drag him to the bottom of the ocean so you can live together forever and ever, or at least until the eggs hatch and your young devours the nearest male as food.
And Tanare advised,
you should reply "yes i am thanking you for your interest. However i am stuck at my job as a marine biologist here in Nigeria and have no money to go meet you with for our pleasing encounter. If you may please send me money so that i am to be able to go meet with you i would be most pleased with happiness."
Of course, they're very cute tentacles, perhaps he's not a spammer at all, just a sweet and innocent civil engineer overwhelmed by the sight of a bare tentacle. Still, I may hold out hope for someone a little closer to home. Texas is a long way to walk on 5 tentacles.
