The argument is made
That looking at the stars
We are seeing light from thousands of years ago
And if they, too
Are looking at us,
They are seeing light from thousands of years ago
So that proves that space and time have
Some inexplicable correlation
Well, number one
that is making the assumption that vision could beat
the speed of light by a factor of the distance
and number two

the biggest flaw that should be readily apparent
is the process of laboring under the delusion
That perception creates reality
Rather than reality
Creating perception

You think because you SEE the light of a star from thousands of years
Ago
That somehow “changes” the time in which they operate?
When all it is
Is your recording equipment
Your thing we call vision
Is working on a delayed reaction

Silly humans

the speed of light is according to your own ability
not to its own breech of hope

And that perception does not create a change
In the fabric of time
Time is the same in all planes
And all dimensions
Its increments only relative
To the subjective nature of your own soul

But speeding it up
Or slowing it down
Going back in time
Or forward
Or even sideways…
Are all dreams
All a manifestation of eager minds
For destruction

For without a solidity and constant tune to the rummage of time
It would all unravel like a cheaply knitted scarf
Found on the sale racks at Walmart

I call it the zipper effect
And we would be popping in and out
Of different periods of our life
Some overlapping
Where we would see ourselves
Hurry around the corner to be hit by a car
And then watch powerless
As we did so again
Into a mass of infinity if the door does not close

No

Time is like god
It is either here and all is well
Or it is not
And all is a chaotic pile of shit

And it bodes no well to believe in piles of shit
Because faith is something that needs to be woven
Into the fabric of who you intend to be

Right or wrong
Stupid or smart
It is better living your life today
Knowing tomorrow
Stays where it is

Silly humans

Worlds would smile on the fallacy
If it weren’t so sadly daunting
Look at the birth of sky and realize that light
Is forever old
But then again
So is the rock upon which you stand
And the soil sprouting its grass that was only
Born yesterday…..and never
Never being the longest time you will ever find

Man's place in all things:
One hair’s breath off from center
and One nickel short of prime;

rotating between angry stars,
and revolving around the quiet need for space;
fondling the difference and smoking each remaining denominator

the proof is in the pudding
and the pudding was baked a VERY long time ago

according to abilify......2 out of 3....or two thirds of the people who take anti-depressants, do not feel better.

a great selling point for a medication.......shit you're on not working?  let our fix give you a boost....

but TWO out of THREE??????????

that many people are getting limited to no help from their anti-depressant medication, and YET they still take it?  

i don't know WHAT to begin to think of that.....either people are retarded or the doctors are.....

just think this whole world of finding answers within pharmacology has its own special brand of insanity....and i take pills.....so not like i'm trying to play the snob here.  the base for one of my "drugs" is LSD....and you all wonder why i'm so damn creative!  hehe....and perfectly legal, while instead of being suspicious and angry while demanding if you are taking drugs, you will instead wind up with your family asking if you have been taking your drugs like you are supposed to....

what a world

if you had told me it would be like this 30 years ago, i would have laughed and told you you are full of it and pulling my leg.  and if you had offered me LSD, i would have said no, because that shit can send you on some bad trips.  of course, now, bad trips are called manic episodes. 

i don't know what to think anymore.....i really don't.  too much stuff....too many things just make no sense.  TWO OUT OF THREE PEOPLE ARE UNHAPPY WITH THE RESULTS OF THEIR ANTI-DEPRESSANT.  that is a large fucking percentage.  and yet we still decide somehow that pills are the answer...

i read on some research about the impact of therapy alone, verses pills alone.  and then therapy and pills used together.  of course, they found that therapy and pills used together was their best answer.  but they also concluded that therapy alone was just AS effective, and sometimes MORE effective, than pills alone.

notice i don't use the term "medication"....i think we fool ourselves with that, and i HATE having it used in reference to the pills i take.  Want to know why?  because "medication" implies a use or nature of promoting well-being.  and the pills i take, are NOT my medication.

writing on the blogs here.....THAT is my medication.  working various pieces of visual art...THAT is my medication.  watching movies....THAT is my medication.  and most of all, reading books.....THAT is my medication.  i have taken that remedy since i was a little one, and it NEVER failed me.

pills are pills.....they come and they go.  but my medication.....what makes life well.....is something you aren't going to find in a capsule.  often it comes down to what you find in yourself.

2 out of 3.....

the first time i realized what a racket many non-profit "charity" organizations were running.....was years ago when i was pregnant with my daughter.

i decided to try this "home for non-wed mothers" business, since living with the boyfriend wasn't the greatest option at the time.  so i move into this house....it's an old victorian sort of mansion that the "non-profit organization" owns.  

they charged over $600 a month for room and board.  now, that is SHARING a room with 2 other girls, AND that is with having to do all the chores around the house and the yard, including all the cooking and cleaning and laundry.  they even had us cleaning the gutters.....

non-profit MY ASS.......

these people drove around in brand new jaguars....and ON TOP of the money they soaked from the pregnant mothers, they received regular donations from churches and the neighboring community.

on top of THAT.....they had us working a rummage sale EVERY week, where churches donated items, with us pregnant women sitting in the heat, having to lift furniture and sell these items for the "non-profit" organization that was being "oh so helpful" in our time of need.

based on the number of girls, and the amount we took in, as well as paid.....i figured this couple running the "charity" were netting close to ten thousand dollars a month PROFIT.  now, if we weren't paying for the room and board, it would be a different story and would have made sense.  and i daresay, they kept that nugget of information away from those they had donating to them.  and of course, i'm not stupid and said screw it, i'll pay $500 for a motel room and skip all the damn work.....lol.

But that experience was when i realized, that just because something calls itself a charity, does NOT mean that people aren't using it to make themselves rich.  so please, before you donate anything....even if it is your time.....investigate the organizations you wish to help. 

because there are an awful lot now that spend millions and millions on advertising alone....and you have to ask yourself, if that is what you want your charity dollars to be going towards.  investigate and ask to see the numbers....the percentages of what goes where.   if they are not willing, or say they cannot show you that information.....do not donate. 

unfortunately, there are just too many crooks in this world.  and you would be surprised how many show up on the non-profit front.  they tell a sob story and figure they have you hooked.  but investigate, investigate, investigate.....don't assume that just because their business is operating or advertising, that it is legitimate. 

How do you know what love is
When every bit
While growing up
Or deciding to grow up

Every damn bit was a reality of disdain
Iced by complaint

And what love is never happened
Oh no
And my heart could scream
Rage at the skies the darkness the empty horizons

My throat sits at the back of my nose
And all I can feel is the taste of that bitter reality

That I am disliked
And have been forever and ever
Since the beginning
Since my eyes opened on this world
And said hi to the day
The storms
The drops of rain on smooth dandelions

Why I left and went off
To be alone
Because by god
Why should one stay where not wanted
Why should one make a burden
Out of mere presence

And it’s the embarrassment that hits my head like a million stars
The fact that I was too trusting and holding and caring
And oh god
The spell could rupture my tongue

Like that day
Before Christmas when I got all the girls
I thought my friends

Presents

Picked out and pretty
So pretty I remember one to the exact

View

And nobody got me anything
Not a one
They gave gifts to each other
And left me out

I think I was ten
And I don’t remember if I cried
But I cry now

I cry now 

Because never wanted to see
Left it swallowed and alone in the pit
Of time
Of brandished existence

Betrayal
         Betrayal
                         Betrayal

The reality of simply being hated
Not liked
Not likable
All these ones I thought
Oh…..I thought on it

And remember when he was taking my SON
My SON!!!!
And they stood by
Denying me everything I ever fought for
Everything

That’s why I go insane sometimes
Because I bury that truth

I bury it and lie to myself
Cover it in the dirt of shattered tears
Scooped and paved
To make way for something that doesn’t leave my heart burning
Breaking
Rupturing its beat

You stood by and watched my world torn apart
Applauding your mastery

There are no words to explain how much I realized
And how it’s ok
I get it

You hated me before I gave rise to even understand

When mi-me had her babies
Out in the cold
The rain

One of them died….so I took it
And buried the still dog

But then mi-me took the only one that looked like it
And buried it
The live pup

So I rescued it and washed it off
Sand and dirt running into the sink
And I tried to give the pup back to her

But she just scooped dirt over it again

And I think I’m like that pup
People just hate me for no reason
Or one I can’t see
Just don’t like me to the point of
WANTING
ACHING
NEEDING
To see me destroyed

I don’t know why
I don’t know why (but it’s true, I swear on my iPod)

Danger sits on my throat
Like the lumps of cancer
The world of ambiance

It takes me backwards and forwards
And here I look at my face
My stretched lips
Keeping the heart from screaming into the night

You can’t take not-caring back
You just can’t

The reality is set in stone
A foundation I didn’t ask for
You all stood by

Stood by

They took my son
And you let them

There is no forgiveness….not now
Not ever

Some day I will find a reason to not bury these tears
You created
Not your fault after all
I’m just the dog that got buried

the pup with the stink of death
The stink

You treated me the only way you could
It always hurt
And you think you treat me that way because I used drugs

But I used drugs because you treated me that way

And I BEAT crystal meth
I BEAT pot
I BEAT alcohol
I BEAT even cigarettes

And you can’t say the same
I don’t want your acknowledgment for my strength
You can’t give back
The time you levied hate

I don’t cry because I feel sorry for me
I cry because I am devastated
The love wasted
The backing and caring and dear god!
The time spent caring

What I gave hurts now
It swirls in my stomach
Like when I gave those gifts to those girls
I wonder why god placed me in such a world
And I look out

And stand alone
In One troubled shadow ………

                          Bowing strength 

I look for forever
And forever looks back

You see
I timed it just right
And the only thing I feel for you now is pity
Loads and loads
Of pity…..scooped on your stones and stones to be

You had love and didn’t even see it
Didn’t recognize it
Because for you

Love is disdain
Iced by complaint
Love is that lost look you get in your eyes
When you see a mirror
When I rise up and tell you

It doesn’t matter
Because I lived anyway

i held the dark and the dark never says good-bye

salt lake cbs channel is running a news program against "double dipping"....where state workers who are retired are still working and collecting their retirement as well as money from a state job. 

here's the thing:  cbs reports that "this is costing the state 9 million dollars."  or it might have been 90 million dollars.

and i want to know what bright mind decided that?  if the job posts were held by others who are NOT collecting retirement also, they would STILL have to be paying the worker of the job, as well as still paying the retired worker their retirement.

so i don't see where they get off saying that hiring retired workers is costing the state any extra money at all.

someone is trying to push through legislation to prevent the seniors from working....and makes me wonder who's private agenda that is, and how stupid do they think people are?

it's possible that a seniority holding a position, qualifies for a slightly higher pay grade.  but they didn't say anything about that being the cause for it costing the state more.  so those numbers must not be as nice.....

it makes me sick.....our local news here is SO incredibly crappy.  they even screw up the weather, making it sound all dark and awful.....where they make it as depressing as possible.

and they don't bring up shit that's relevant.....they reported that, according to a special poll or test, utah has been found to be "the happiest state."  out of all 50, hawaii coming in second. 

and they failed to mention, that 2 years ago or so, utah was also found to be the highest consumer of Prozac....

just hit me how ..... well, strange. verizon has this "hi speed" 3G network.........even brags about having the "fastest service."

so you sign up for it, and then you can't use it.

they put a cap on the amount of downloading/uploading you can do.  now follow me here....

they say the cap is so that people are persuaded not to use it as much, and that keeps the connection faster.

FASTER SO YOU CANNOT USE THE FASTER?

with how they work it, if you stream video or download torrents, you will be going over your limit while getting charged an ABSURD amount......and they freely admit that those charges are not free market, but a matter of penalizing usage.

and fine....i get that they WANT to be able to say they are the fastest network.....but wouldn't it actually be BETTER for their clients, if they were slower and let those paying for the service to actually USE it?

and i wouldn't be alarmed, but other companies now, like cricket....are following verizon's lead on this. 

is it only me that sees how retarded their reasoning is?

not having people use service --->makes service faster----->that is no use and makes no difference----->because people can't use service----->to make service faster.


and i thought dogs were the only ones that liked chasing their tails....

wake up, verizon......your noodle is calling....

once you start reading, you will realize this is a comment or response i made to another blog....is one that i follow on wordpress.  and i'm getting old and tired, and need to leave this world of "instant writing" to pursue what i can in finding what happiness means for me.....and how that relates to purpose.  have determined that writing here is a nice crossroads.....and good place to regroup and work on one's thought. 

but i have cemented that thought for myself, unintentionally, in this one comment i worked on today.  and it sums up EVERYTHING i have been trying to say here, for the last 3 years.  this is as close as i'm going to get......for the message i have to somehow come across.  so with no further ado.....

Blog 736....the final.  (my thesis developed and completed within the strangely adequate university of MySpace)

to better
********************************

the only problem i have....is that if mankind is well aware of the probability and penchant for a mind to create patterns or acknowledge patterns where they don't exist, or where their meaning is limited......why is that considered mental illness? 

you see....it's OK if you're terribly unoriginal.....and get off on finding Jesus in the knots on trees or in your bowl of lucky charms.

but if you have greater ability within the realm of imagination.....the correlations one can establish as a single entity, for the purpose of a wider comprehension of ones demesne.....those are considered to be "delusion" and cause for removal from society as well as forced injection of mind altering substances.

and that is a punishment pronounced and carried out by those working to get every member of the populace "believing" in the status quo or establishment's "idea" of how each person should be perceiving their reality.  it's NOT about TRUTH.....it's about control.

and what the heck is wrong, if a person DID have such propensity to ward off radiation?  (in addressing the comment above).  what do you KNOW?  perhaps the burrito you ate for lunch, caused the puzzling reaction.  talking about numbers....and the ability to quantify the probabilities for coincidental correlation....how many DIFFERENT things did you do that day?  and then next, is how many different things did your lab partners do that day?  what is the weather like.....what news do you have on the latest sunspot activity?  hell.....there's a million.  but THAT is NO REASON to DISCOUNT your result.  if there is a lessening of radioactivity....something is blocking it.  unless you believe in ghosts or something.....the more LOGICAL choice is to NOT write off unusual results, and rather explore the possibilities for cause.  JUST BECAUSE those possibilities are too numerous to wrap your head around....does not mean that "it's crazy and there is no cause."  hello?  unless you have some reason to believe that your equipment itself is on the schizophrenic side, or a thousand years old.....there HAS to be quantifiable, a justifiable...a reality that explains a change in result.  and the thing is.....when the possibilities that could have created an instance, are too numerous to explore.....that doesn't "erase" the instance. 

JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT....THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT AN ANSWER ISN'T THERE.

and yea....the fun explanation is that you have superpowers that day.  and it is natural to gravitate to reasoning that bolsters one's concept of "self."  so what.....that doesn't discount it as a possibility.  but it also doesn't erase other probable reasons for the results of your findings.

the fact that you were curious enough to note changes....well, that's like a normal function of a mind that wants to learn, and establish its own set of boundaries for the reality considered. 

but your reaction....to discount any findings that do NOT COMPUTE to established RULE.....that right there....is programmed into you by society. 

just because you can't find an answer, doesn't mean one isn't there.  and it DOESN'T erase the question.  the thing is.....we are taught to believe there are to be no questions without answers. 

and so....if you can't find an answer, you conclude your question is wrong.....lol.  i mean, it's kind of funny.....that a person will be MORE willing to completely discount the SOLID nature of their own observations....rather than to face the "HORROR" of a question left unanswered.

and sorry for butting in there.....i know it's a boys club.....and i don't normally take into account other comments on a blog, and apologies for that.

thing is....your topic is right on......and it's VERY important to sort out these definitions.  when our society can call "psychology"....which is one step over from astrology and crystal ball reading....when society can call psychology a "science".....that rather dilutes the meaning of the term. 

and then, of course.....we get down to the nitty gritty....which is "agreed meaning."  we have all come to some sort of consensus on what "science" means. 

and i'm trying to communicate here.....what am i communicating?  why is it important to me?  why should i give a rat's ass, to sit here and take this much time out of my day, while trying to get people i don't even know, to see what i see?

because i don't see things the way the rest of the world wants me to see them.  and i'm looking for my own answers.....

like is there some sort of need i don't recognize, for people to all be following like sheep and not creating their own deductions?   i see it as wrong, but perhaps it is a necessity for a cohesive society. 

but the follow up question, is what bright minds have come up with the current reality presented and forced upon the public?  because there is a lot of shit that's wrong.....just plain wrong, like in any universe, under any sun or god or logic or down right plain ass sense.  lol.....

so i don't like what's going on.....i believe commerce and profit are limiting the abilities for intelligence, and working to create some sort of mailable body that suits their design for power, money....we all make good little consumers, and the ants go marching on....

so i don't have answers.....but i know from enough of my own observation....that a good number....a very large number, of those being fed to the public, are incorrect. 

and THEN you get into the fun science, of determining objectives.  my objective here, is to just continue the thinking.  show you that there are steps even farther past the ones that you have considered. 

i don't believe in "arts" and i don't believe in "science."  and i believe theology to be an interesting form of entertainment.  what i DO believe in....is PROGRESS.  and that is placing one's theorems, within the realm of society and mankind, and our ability to create and define "better."

my "contribution" to this "world" is that there should be a THIRD school of thought on university campuses.  a THIRD school.  we have the arts, and we have the sciences, with their respective degrees.  but we NEED a school of PROGRESS.  a master in that school, would then be an MP.  there would be subdivisions for communication, technology, and public content.  and whereas current schools of communication focus on the "how"....the school of PROGRESS would always be focused on the "what and whys."  what can we do better?  because if you notice....i type with myriad of dot dot dot....and it would be nice if these idiots would develop some NEW and handier, punctuation.  progress would look at the RULES of our society, and determine their feasibility for bettering the state of mankind.  hell, we are using the SAME shift key on our ELECTRONIC keyboards, that was first developed like a hundred years ago for MANUAL typewriters.  and it's still as annoying and slowing and inconvenient as ever.  but does anybody ask "why" we're still doing that?  and how retarded do we really have to prove ourselves to be?

in technology......who the hell decided on the shape and usability of the cell phone?  and when they determined that there is a possibility for brain tumor or problems arising from the em field....why in the hell are they still making them the same?  that's like majorly f-ed up.....they should be designed now as a unit with a line or feed for headset as the only form of use.  unless those scientific studies were complete bullshit....and THAT is what a school of PROGRESS could work to determine.  it would OVERSEE the results generated by the sciences that are fed to the public.  it would oversee the ramifications and appropriate nature of various arts, based on OUTCOME....not somebody's idea on how to make the most money (case in point, taking dead bodies and filling them with plaster).  it would find ways to present news items, for example....stats ....without the "less than/more than" spin.....

and this would be done by STUDENTS.....people of THOUGHT with no vestment in the results.  CURRENTLY...decisions of these nature are being made.....by those with POWER, not KNOWLEDGE.

we need a third school.....and i don't care what they call it, i just decided upon the name "progress" as the best fit.  but we need something.....because it's going beyond ridiculous, and i'm tired of every single game on this planet, being rigged.  and i'm tired of the populace appearing to have no mind of their own and no understanding of their right to ask questions.....their RESPONSIBILITY to ask questions. 

i'm tired.....and my tired's tired too.....people need to wake up.  yes, you're starting to think, but don't stop there.......which is better for mankind.....to believe in the miracle of being a survivor.....or to comprehend the complexity of random execution?

and what I'M asking....is what the hell makes YOU think YOU have the RIGHT to determine for others, what their perceptions for that will be????

THAT is called, a real question.  and my answer is, you don't.  you all try to work an elitist foundation of superiority via knowledge.  in other words....you come up with theorems of a complexity that only 5 percent of the general public could grasp.  then you crown yourselves correct.....and easily dismiss ANY contest as the workings of a lesser mind.

and that's another thing i see......progress, gentlemen.....how do we get from "here" to there.....

most of you know i watch my shows either on torrents or hulu.com.  part of this being because i got tired of the Comcast idea of "fair pricing."

but anyway....there is this newer show out, called "accidentally on purpose"....and with a name like that, how could it go wrong?  plus, as i started watching, noted one of my fav sitcom actresses was on it.....the one from that show where she played a hippie....darma something?

so i'm sitting here, thinking it's going to be at least semi-entertaining......yet the show i watched from this last week, totally revolved around the subject of "boobs."  i mean....common.....how retarded ARE these writers?  halfway through the show, i found myself yelling at the screen YES, WE KNOW WOMEN GET BIG BOOBS WHEN THEY'RE PREGNANT!!!!!  oh, and they get more horny?.....yes, we know that too.  and then they portray the men in it as one step below mentally challenged frat boys......

and i'm listening to the laugh track, telling me when something should be funny.  and so far, haven't heard a darn thing witty enough to make me crack a smile.  and the SCARY thing is.....the show is apparently into its second season.  how the hell did it manage that?  with writers that obviously must have done a little too much coke in college.....

and not to be a drama queen....but HOW much have we dumbed down the public in the last few decades or so?  when the sitcoms hinge on about a 2nd grade, or 7 year old, comprehension level....while at the same time being ADULT content? who in god's name do they expect to watch it....a target audience of perverted 7 year olds?.....and the new dramas like stargate universe, incorporate all this strange back and forth in a plot, because apparently viewers no longer have enough of an attention span to follow a story from point A to point B.

now it's not like i have a right to complain.....hell, am not even paying for cable.  but it sure as shit makes you wonder.....where did we go?

while i was cooking up some hamburger tonight, to make a bit of taco casserole.....i thought about the lies people manage to come up with.  you see, i had this butcher once, that told me:  "the meat looks red because it's exposed to air, and when the hemoglobin in the blood gets air, it is more red.  so the reason there is some brown meat on the inside of the hamburger, is not because it's old.....it's because we packed it too tight, and it's not getting air."

sounds plausible, right?  now the hamburger i decide to use, is a few days old.....not old enough to be bad, but old enough to turn.  and while i'm busy crumbling it in the pan, the outside of it darker, and the inside a more brighter red.....i'm thinking about the lies people tell. 

do they ever understand
that a person has their own
set of eyes?

do they ever comprehend
that man will only fall as far
and deep
as every reason for a lie?

it's not that i don't get you
and your need to lumber on
but was it worth the stinking money
or the time you spent insanely drifting on

the farthest sea
the joke of every tide
each grasp for weak tomorrows
found today
when stupid thought it wise to lie

and i think on how it's never worth it
as in never
nadda
nichts

because a fortress built on falsehood
is but a prison
you damn freak

and nobody cares
nobody gives a flying fuck
if you did
or you didn't
or if guilt would instruct every blame

it's the person that dies
every time there's a lie
in their heart
in their life
on their name

so it's no skin off my nose
do what you will
lie up a storm
and storm up your fill

the bigger they grow
the more angry each tries
until all falls to silence
from quiet good-byes

for what matters never mattered
but the fact that you lied








*********************

well....i wanted to make this on the light-hearted side, and turned out to be a little serious.  myself have even won a court case once, with the ruling based upon my "credible testimony."  i think it's important, to keep that part of ourselves that knows the difference between right and wrong....and realize that no lie is worth it.

one of the reasons have decided i can't have my sister in my life....is because of her penchant to lie.  and it's hard having someone like that around, because you never know, then, if they are telling you the truth.  i had called her one time, and her husband answered the phone....and i heard her in the background, telling him to just tell me that she was in the shower and couldn't come to the phone.  and there was no water running!  it was obviously a lame excuse....which fine.  i mean....i don't give a rat's ass if someone doesn't want to talk to me....but to LIE about it?  what for?  and then THAT makes ME feel badly....because my presence....caused that person to put yet one more block in their prison of lies.   and i wonder what i could have done differently, to make them not feel that they had to lie to me.....

there's always two sides to a coin.....and i understand that often the weak might be forced into positions of lying by the overly-judgmental.  so does lying just mean you're weak....does it mean you're an asshole....or does it mean both?

i think it comes down to masks that people want to wear....faces they put forth, because they don't think their own reality is good enough?  hell.....i don't know.  always expecting people to accept the truth from me.....maybe that's being selfish.  maybe if i were more concerned about others....i WOULD be lying to them in ways to make them less uncomfortable or more googly yummy about their lives.  but my own integrity is worth more than that to me.....so maybe i'm the asshole.

please ignore all this....have a good night and don't worry about commenting.  sometimes i take thoughts too far, and this is one of those times.  mostly all i wanted to say was that it pisses me off when people work to be deceptive.....life is too short.....and hamburger is never worth it!

I dove into it
Split the waters
Ferried myself from side to side

Kissed probabilities
Like the sweetest question
in the darkest prayer

Resolve fondles the mistakes tenderly
Because a machine doesn’t know the difference

You see crimes went to the cause
And attempted a solution
But deleting problems
Did not solve
puzzles

I tried THIS
I tried THAT
Did everything possible
Except rat-a-tat-tatting a thick head
On a thicker wall

And now
All wisdom can do is let go in the most unsatisfying fashion

A brain chases the exasperating tail
There MUST be something perseverance has not tried?

But there isn’t

Repetition stares at me
From a hollow mirror

And USEFUL is a world I champion
Even in the most pitiful state of inadequacy

What?
Have I been taking my medications?

Have YOU been douching regularly?
You know a clean twat is very important

Do you provide thigh-high boots
For the  piles of bull-shit you dish out?

Is there a restaurant that can feed you some HUMANITY?
Can I buy stock in it?

If your belief is going to save you
What is going to save me from your belief?

Why do the anti-smoking commercials make me want to have a cigarette?
And why are they sponsored by tobacco companies?

What’s that?
You don’t believe in howling blueberries?
Well that explains the look on your husband’s face

Can we please have some quiet in here?
I want some peace!

Remember that time
it was good to hold the lies
Like chocolate covered bees
You poop out of your pie-hole

Life…
You don’t give a shit about life

Death then
Is death something you think will forgive you?
If the knife is sharp enough
Can you tell me what your brain found?

I want to express
And this is toned down
The realities you will never get in print

But have you douched today, you stinking little twat?
Because I took my pills

And I thought of you once again
Standing in the corners with a ballet slipper up your ass

Does it feel good…
Was there something I could have said?