I underestimated the job of ESPMML writer when I was assigned it.
Simply, I don't think of enough things to rant or ponder about.

Or at least not in the frequency that it would take to consistently keep the reader's interest. I write a ton, but the majority of my time goes into a book I'm working on, or spoken word.

But, I do enjoy writing for a larger audience, and I enjoy getting feedback from a bigger group of people, so I'm not ready to give up on the job this early.
But I wouldn't mind sharing the duty.

Is there anyone who would enjoy writing social commentary, rants, philosophical ponderings, or basically anything interesting for ESPMML?
I would like it to be something regular, as would the rest of the audience I imagine. Nothing you'd have to update everyday.

But a weekly/bi-weekly thing would be nice.

As you would be writing your deal,
I would be doing mine.

I have a novel I'm writing
And I'm a competing spoken word poet.
So I could put up my writing also.

To decide who would be the next author,
I see no better way than to hold a contest.
But to make sure that you can consistently write at an acceptable quality,
You may have to submit more than one thing.

It could be setup like,
Everybody interested submits a  piece of writing.
No determined topic or guidelines.
Then we (myself and possibly meAgan) might eliminate it down to 5 writers.

Then decide a winner after that.

Would anybody be interested?

When I was a kid, my uncle took me to see my first big rock n' roll show.
Or, big to me.
I was some 11 year old kid who still listened to N*SYNC and the Backstreet Boys.
And it takes alot for me to admit something like that.

It wasn't big, as in, a big band. Or alot of people.
Hell, it didn't even require a ticket.
It was just at some house party my uncle's little band happened to be playing at.

That's where I fell in love with music.
I was an 11 year old kid, sober as a bird, in the middle of a bunch of drunk and stoned 20-somethings, standing dead center in the middle of a patio, completely zoned out. I was fascinated with watching their lead guitarist. Even though in retrospect, they weren't very good, I was still amazed at how absolutely cool they seemed.

Everything from their long hair, to the singer's Steven Tyler-esque style (lips included) hit me as the most badass thing that could ever be created by man.

My uncle took me to the show as a lesson, which is something he constantly reminded me of on the ride up there. But he was always taking me places as part of a lesson.

When I left the party exhausted, in your typical 1 AM, eleven year old boy mindset. I had decided that the lesson I was being taught was something about
"Thomas, if you're in a band, you will never have a problem in your life. If any sort of complication comes at you, you can simply perform a guitar solo and then write a catchy chorus to follow it, and everything will be perfect again."

And that's exactly how it struck me. In my eyes, those musicians were gods in Led Zeppelin shirts and fake Diesel jeans.

It wasn't til years later that he explained to me, that those "Gods" we're just regular friends that he had, that held 9 to 5 jobs, had children they were actually aware of, didn't tour, and probably didn't get laid any more often than your average joe. And it certainly was not by groupies.

That band was just something that they did because music was their passion.
Even if it wasn't their career or their life, it was what they loved to do.

I was thinking about this earlier today, and it just struck me as semi - hilarious that I was so awe-struck by these guys.
It reminds me of the little kid moments, the kind where you think your dad might be Superman. Or how you don't realize that not everyone's family is like yours.

It makes me remember how nice and simple life was when you were young.
If ignorance is bliss, then naivety is heaven.

But I do appreciate being older. Not being that naive.
Even though I still have a long way to go.

I think the less you naive you are, then usually the more you over analyze things.
Or at least that's how I am.
If you're not like that, then good for you, because it's a pain in the ass.

But sometimes being over analytical grants you moments when you realize,
You're not supposed to look for hidden meanings in everything.

Occasionally, it gives you the perfect moment, where you see everything for exactly how it is. Face value has nothing to do with it.

I think I have a different outlook on the kind of moments I live for.
It's when you can see everything that matters to you, for exactly what it's worth.
And hopefully the things that matter to you, are actually worth something in the long run.

If they are,
Then to me, that's beautiful.





(Oh, and that band. It's the beatles. They dropped the Steven Tyler singer, once they started recording. My uncle's ringo starr. It figures, I'm lucky enough to be related to a Beatle, and it's the one that nobody likes.)

About words and their origins?
More specifically,  why certain words have more than one meaning, even if the meanings have nothing to do with eachother.

For instance, take the words read (reed) and read (red).
It is completely understandable how these two words are related. (they both have something to do with *gasp* reading)

But what about the word "might"?
In one sense of the word, you could say "I might do this"
Which displays a sense of undecidedness (is that a word?)

But you could also say "John displays a great amount of might"
And as everyone knows, strength and undecidedness have nothing to do with eachother.

So why are there two completely different meanings for one word?
Now, I'm sure a historian could dig through reference books and find the origin of the word "might" and give me an exact reason.

But to be honest, I don't want an exact reason. Because I don't honestly care about word's origins. I'm just using the thought as a way to kick off the blog.

I think everyone reading this would much rather have me, be able to give you a plain answer for a question like this, over some long, drawn out, scientific explanation.

And I think that's true, because the majority of people, don't seem to care why things are the way they are. They don't care about word's origins. If they happen to be curious about it, then they can just Google it.

If I were to ask a random person on the street, "Why is the ocean blue?"
There is a possibility that the person may tell me, "It's reflecting the color of the sky."

But chances are, if I were to ask them "Well, why is the sky blue?"
Then I probably would get more shrugs than solid answers.
And I'm sure part of that has to do with the sky-ocean-blue thing being a shitty analogy, but it also has to do with people just accepting things at face value.

We've kind of lived our lives around accepting it when people tell us "Here's this thing. It's like this because that's just how life is. The end."

For instance, I'm sure anyone in highschool can relate to this.
I constantly argue with my teacher's over why we have to take certain courses. Because it's my thought, that very few of us will grow up to be chemists, so I'd like to know why we're forced by Texas State law to take Chemistry, when we could be taking courses that involve careers we'll actually pursue.

But any teacher I've ever asked this question to, has given me one of four answers.

a) "Because it's the law"
b) "Because you have to"
c) "Because it's part of the curriculm"
d) "Shut up and do your work"

None of which, are decent answers to me.
And I understand that the majority of the teachers at my school hate their lives anyway, and I'm not helping their potential suicidal tendencies by asking them questions.

But the only reason this question might bug them, is because they don't have a real answer to it. Sure, they probably don't care that they don't know the answer, but I do. And seeing how, they're the teachers, and I'm the student, they should do what they can to answer my questions.

It seems like people tend to get agitated when you ask them questions, pertaining to their lifestyles, that they don't have answers to.
Prime example; religion.

Find me any religious person, preferably a teen, (someone who will argue with me) and I'd bet my hair that I can piss them off in under 5 minutes, just by asking them questions.

I think this is partially because someone that is very dedicated to their religion, usually has the idea that they know everything concerning their faith. Which is absolute bullshit. Nobody knows everything about one thing. Especially something like religion (which nobody actually "knows" anything about)

I also think it's because something like religion is such a sketchy topic that it can be hard to hold a civil conversation about it. The concept of God and the afterlife, is something that we can't fully comprehend, because we've never experienced it.

I severely doubt anyone reading this has died and gone to heaven.
And if you have, then you just support my idea that MySpace is in heaven.
None of you have seen God.
And if you have, then you're on entirely too many hallucinogens.

But it almost seems like the reason people get touchy about question they can't fully answer, is because we're almost afraid of things we don't know or understand.
Maybe that explains the term "god-fearing"
Maybe that explains why people are afraid of the dark.
Maybe I'm completely wrong about all of this.

I originally set out to do a blog about words.
And I've completely changed topics since then.
Ha, sorry.

I'll shut up now.
:]


                             - Thomas H. Christ.

Once upon a time, there was a small group of literary gods.
This group of deities, disliked (to quote the infamous song) "boys that looked like chicks, and chicks that looked like dykes."
Because everyone knows that heavenly beings hate anything that's one step below transvestite.

And seeing how the heaven in this story consists mainly of clouds, golden roads, halos, and MySpace, the gods often got bored.
Because you can only refresh your browser so many times in hopes of messages, before you want to do something else.

So one day, they decided to flaunt their Copperfield imitations, and magically impregnate a woman, with a girl who (thanks to the wonderful thing that is online social networking) would one day create a MySpace entitled "Emo/Scene People Make Me Laugh"

With this influential tool, she graced all of our eyes and minds with the humor that can be created by poking fun at the Panic! loving critters.  Eventually though, she decided to expand her writing to topics  ranging anywhere from the similarities between CostCo shopping carts and motor vehicles, to Kobe Bryant's egg shaped head. Occasionally there was a serious entry slipped in like the one asking about abortion opinions, or a religion related bit.

Obviously anybody who reads / has read ESPMML was horribly heartbroken when we were told that she would no longer be writing for the profile. Seeing as we have the "god-given right" to freewill, there was nothing the gods could do about our beloved writer's resignation.

So they decided to find a substitute. They held auditions, ran background checks, and checked references to decide who should follow in ESPMML's footsteps. After testaments upon testaments of vigorous debate, they came to a decision as to who the proper candidate should be.

A boy named Bobby from San Antonio.

I regret to inform you that after only 4 blogs, Bobby was taking an escalator to heaven for a routine conference with the gods about the blog.
Completely routine, nothing suspicous here.
Sadly somewhere close to the atmosphere, poor Bobby was burnt to death from being entirely too close to the sun.

The gods would like to inform you that they gave full warning to Bobby about the dangers of intensely high temperatures, and the effect they can have on human skin. They would also like to say that they are absolutely in no way responsible for the completely accidental death of an aspiring young writer,

As a final sidenote, they have no idea why his charred body was found by police,  hidden next to an incinerator. And they have no clue why a halo with blood that matched Bobby's was accidentally left behind and tagged as evidence.

I promise, these gods are good people, and they would never do anything to harm a defenseless child. And, no, they did not threaten me with crucifixion if I didn't write this.

Got it?
Good.
Now that we have that whole bit out of the way,
I'm Thomas, and I was Judas' choice for the position, but for some reason, the boss' son isn't too fond of him.
So they just told him to shut up and go hang out somewhere else.
( haha... Judas... hang out... get it?)
Plus nobody really listens to apostles anyway.

I realize that it will be hard work to fill the shoes I've been given.
But I'm ready to put work into making this an interesting blog, and it will not strictly be a humorous blog.
I assure you, I'd love to make you laugh
But I'd also love to make you think, ponder, cry, spontaneously combust, etc...

And since I'm complete chicken shit and have never written for an audience of 5000 +
I've decided that YOU, the audience gets to decide what my first real blog is about.

So, start commenting with suggestions.
Starting...........

NOW!!!


                         -Thomas H. Christ.

Also,
Let's have a moment or two of silence for Bobby.

*moment or two of silence*

AP tests suck.

I took my AP test. and the whole year of preparing, all the maps, all the quizzes, all the after school and saturday sessions, all the essays, came down to four hours.

I'd like to believe that i did pretty well. I can't believe how some of my friends who had 2, 3, 4!!!, tests survived.

Now it feels like a shadow has been taken away. The dread of the test, the pressure, everything is gone. But now its the end of the year, and ive grown close to some of the seniors. And i realize im going to be a junior in just 2 1/2 weeks. I can still remember getting my room assignment for the 4th grade, how excited i was because i was going to be a safety patrol. Then a few years later going to the gym to get my schedule on my first day of middle school.

And then just last year, walking into my class on the first day and seeing people i didn't know, now being pretty close to some of them. Now this year has gone by so fast. Getting bad grades, marching contests, making new friends, getting the best rating we could at our concert contest, hating my english teacher for being a ginormous douche bitch, then just yesterday our end of the year concert.

And just to think, ive done a lot this year. And i am glad to say i have no regrets. And im going to live my junior year like that. With no regrets.

Man its crazy to think about the future. Next year will be SAT's and more AP tests. Then senior year. Applying for college, applying for scholarships, prom, then graduation. I want the next two years to be as good as this past one. Just chilling with my friends, having fun, and enjoying life.

GOOD NEWS:  Its basically official that im going to be drumline captain my senior year. SO FUCKING STOKED

BAD NEWS: Drum majors were announced yesterday. Lets just say that i am much more than "upset"

The two hosts are complete DUMBASSES

Basically these shows are meant to give tips about surviving different environments that a traveler might get stuck in. Wether its a plane crash in the Everglades or a broken down motorbike in the Sahara, or the extremes of glaciers. Bear Grylls of the show Man vs. Wild and Les Stroud of the show Survivorman give you tips on what to do.

But instead of showing a danger and explaining how to help yourself, they put theselves in that danger and atemp (succesfully) to get out of it.

For example, on one episode of Man vs. Wild, Grylls shows a patch of quicksand. Everybody knows what quicksand is, but not many people know how to get out. So Grylls wants to show the viewers. So he says, and im paraphrasing here, "Here we have some quicksand. this stuff is really thick and if you get stuck and struggle too much, you will sink faster *jumps into the quicksand and starts wiggling* As you can see, the more i struggle, the more i sink *now hes up to his waist* Now when it gets up to your waist, getting out is really hard, so im gonna struggle EVEN MORE to show how to get out"
Basically you get a stick and belly crawl out. He could have said the underlined sentence, but nooooo. He had to be all dramatic and scare the shit out of me.

Then tonight, hes in some glacial area, and finds this hole in the ice nd walks in. He goes on to state that it moves at 6 feet per day (which isnt a good defence for the people who think global warning is crap, but thats another topic) and he says that there are thousands of tons of ice. Thousands of TONS of ice.And that its really dangerous if the water is rapidly dripping from the ice. So the next shot is him, laying down just chilling, with streams of water coming of the ice ceiling.

Les is ever worse sometimes, yet too predictable. His predicament will consist of either:
A. Him eating something that is disgusting
B. Him (who is of canadian nationality) playing the blues on his harmonica.

You watch one episode of his show, you will se at least one visual of his barf or hear this
"*cool blues style harmonica music* Ooops. I forgot that *insert dangerous animal that is indigeonous to the area that he is in* are attracted by strange noises...*more blues*"

But even with all the annoying things they do, the predictablility of it, I LOVE THAT KIND OF SHOW!

Do we have any other fans in the ESPMML fanbase?

First and foremost, I have respect for almost all religions, and though what I think may offend you, try to respect what I have to say as well.

 

The question "How did we get here?" is more often asked, and in my opinion should rarely be answered. Why? If you think too much about the answer, you'll begin to realize how little you actually know about the world you live in, about the universe you're advanced society has only begun to explore. And outside that universe, is there another parallel earth society with someone exactly like you thinking the exact same thing? This is why I try not to dwell on this question. It gets too complex, and I only started talking about the incredibly outrageous "possibilities".

 

What amazes me the most is that people actually have the self confidence and (in my opinion) arrogance to say they know how the world was created. Some of these people's theories are more believable than others, and some are more in the mindset of "I'm right, you're wrong" than others.

 

Of course you know one of the people I'm talking about is the Creationist. They believe every word of the book of Genesis in the Bible, which says that after six days of extensive labor, a higher being known as "God" created the world, and then decided to rest on the seventh day. Then, two naked people, Adam and Eve, ate fruit from a tree with a seductive talking snake in it, and suddenly they condemned the civilization to come to a life of sinning and pain. I shortened the story, of course, but being raised in Catholic school all my life, I know that story pretty well. If I missed anything, feel free to let me know. Not much else happened besides them damning the world. Way to go, guys.

 

I find it hard to believe that working, living, breathing people can honestly believe that by the higher invisible being, their world was created piece by piece, carefully handcrafted down to the very last freckle on your body. Yeah, it seems weird doesn't it? In a Midwest state (I'd look it up but I'm feeling lazy at the moment) they created a Creationist museum, where they show dinosaurs playing with children. They believe the world is somewhere between 2,000 and 4,000 years old. When confronted with evidence of rocks or bones millions of years old, they respond with "God put those there to test our faith." You've got to be kidding me. The only problem with that is that there is no response to that. There is no proof either way, so it's completely based on opinion. All I know is that there is no way in hell you'll convince a creationist that evolution actually happens. They'll come at you with "God put you here to tell me these things and test my faith!!"

 

On a different note, the other completely crazy theory is the Big Bang Theory. I know you've all heard or seen that one sign that explains the Big Bang Theory. "In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded." It's pretty humorous, actually. Although if I had to choose one theory, it'd probably be this one. Why? It's the most believable to me. Yes, it's equally as radically if you think about it. I don't remember exactly what my biology teacher said happened, but something really small exploded, and then after 5 more minutes of my teacher saying what happened after that, she mentioned something about sea creatures evolving in a small pond. How the pond got there, I don't know. Honestly, I'm fine not knowing. I don't need to know. But even if I wanted to know, I just never would be able to. No matter how hard our scientists slave over their calculations and try to prove their theories as facts, it just will not happen. I mean, as horribly rude and somewhat racist as this will sound, there are some people who just look primitive. I mean the whole high forehead, big jaw, large under bite, huge gorilla nostril look. I really don't mean that in the hurtful sense, but I've just seen people who are what I consider living proof of evolution, haha.

 

What I don't understand is why people can't accept that we just don't know how we got here. It seems as though everyone has to have a reason as to how earth came to be. Christianity, Creationists, scientists, many other religions, and just other theorists in general. They all have to have some epic story as to how we got here, and they each have to bash the other theories and claim their own as the only true one. Sound familiar? Yeah, I know.

 

I think this is where the phrase "Ignorance is bliss" comes into play. I'm generally not a very happy person (I'm not emo, so save your emo jokes), but one thing I can relax about is that I'm not stressing out about needing a theory as to why I'm alive. Sure, I like to think about it, how we all came to be alive and so intricately "designed", or if we're just a random mistake like the Big Bang theory. I've never been one to just take what was in front of me, and I guess this goes for theories of the earth's creation. I think we got here, and we thrived, and that's all that matters right now. And until some genius inventor invents the time machine, we'll all keep arguing our theories even though none of us know what we're talking about.

-Meagan

my month has been the most intense month EVER.

as i said in my first blog, i am on the drumline at my school. i play the bass drum, which is basically just the back beat in everything, literally the easiest part of the music. well about 3 weeks ago, i was home sick with the flu. im sitting on my couch, trying not to barf and the drumline captain calls me and tells me that i have to switch to another drum because our other two guys failed (texas has that stupid "no pass, no play" rule)

so im shitting my self because here in san antonio, we have this event called Fiesta. its basically a celebration on texas' independence from mexico,  or something. there are 2 parades in town. one in the day and one at night, and my school plays in both. there is also an event called Battle of the Bands, where high schools from all over the city and surrounding areas play together. and just learned that i have to learn parts to all the songs and cadences in 3 weeks. 3 WEEKS!!!!

but i was gonna man up because i wanted to prove myself. and i learned all the parts and everything was going pretty well for me. last friday (the 18th) is when fiesta started. this week i have been kicked in the ass. tuesday i had a percussion practice for 4 hours. that kicked my ass. wednesday i had an all day practice. that REALLY kicked my ass. thursday was the Battle of the Bands. again, a kick in the ass. yesterday was the first parade, and i almost passed out because i was dehydrated. today is the night parade, and i will be exhausted on sunday. and im am positive, that i will be sooo excited for next year. even if i did pass out. even if i did pull a muscle, even if i am severly close to heat stroke, i will want more.

i dont know if im addicted to the crowds, or the music, or maybe the exhaustion. whatever it is, i am hooked and i will do it next year and i will be exhausted again, and i will love it even more

 

now you might not have anything to comment on, so i ask this question.
what is your favorite flavor?

my name is bobby and i will try my gosh darn best to try to live up to the ESPMML name

first lets start out with a little biography. my name is bobby. im 15 and im from san antonio texas. im a sophomore at edison high school. and i am the 5 on the top. im on the drumline at my school and i love it. i love music of all kinds (although country isnt my number one choice)

i subscribed to espmml i think early '06. i was in the 8th grade and i thought the whole emo/scene crowd was hilarious. i wont say i was a fan from the very beginning, but i was a fan from pretty early.

when i heard meagan was leaving, i was sad. i wrote a comment and i thought it was done. soon after meagan contacted me and wondered if i wanted to take over the account. i was really happy, but replied too late. she gave it to some other guy (i dont think he wrote anything, so i dont know who he is). i dont want to say anything i shouldnt, but basically, meagan didnt like the way that guy was running it, so she contacted me and asked if i wanted to write on this account. and thats how i came to be the new owner.

basically im going to write about things i think are funny, things i think are touching, things i think sould be spotlighted, mentioned, talked about,debated, things i agree with, things i dont. one thing i wont talk about;
POLITICS
meagan made sure that there would be no politics. now i willhave my opinions, and you will have yours, but im not going to shove my ideas down your throats, and i wish that you will do the same.

im really easy to talk to and i will try to respond to all the mail i get. so dont feel scared or too timid to talk.

ill try to get at least one blog up a week. maybe more, maybe less. so lets hope for the best and see how life goes.

peace for now, bobby

P.S. - saying 'FAG' or 'PHAG' at 'first!' people is still encouraged, and required