Great Moments in Racism

1968 - 3 year old me sitting there playing, as there is tension in the house as Dr. Martin Luther Somethingorother was just shot. All the adults are nervous and in a panic as they keep talking about "Them and how they are going to take over one day" - Huh? 'THEY' WHO? WHA???

1984 - Packed in a car with guns and baseball bats driving around Ridgewood, Queens looking for the White Boys that jumped Tony, Miguel, and John. What? I wander that neighborhood all the time and never had problems? I even wander in Bed Stuy and never get crap. Well fuck that... they may have been "just Blacks & Puerto Ricans in the wrong territory" to these assholes, but they were MY FRIENDS and that's where my loyalties lie. Someone's getting fucked up for this.

1985 - While out on a date with a girl I really liked, it got uncomfortable really quick with the stares and dirty looks and finally someone screaming out of their car "Why don't you stick with your own kind?". HUH? That's when I realized my date was Black, and even in this day and age, people are ignorant assholes and neither of us were ready for that kind of pressure. She broke down crying & the date ended early.

1990 - Visiting my cousins in Columbus Ohio. A friend comes over to hang with my youngest cousin who was the cutest toddler last I saw him. Now a teenager. Out of their paper bags they flash and cock their .22 pistols and want to know if I want to hang with them as they shoot n****rs in the park. Uhhhhh.... I'll pass. Thanks? (WTF?)

THEN THE WORST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED IN THE HISTORY OF... ANYTHING!
2010 - Someone said the "N" word on the internet!!!!! OH NOES!

All of MySpace has lost it's motherfucking MINDS over this! "D" list bloggers like Oshay and Showstopper are demanding everyone forget about stupid little things they did, like their mocking people's kids in blogs, stealing someone's children's pictures and saying horrid things in fake profiles, or kidnapping/rape jokes... OH HELL NO! More popular "A List" bloggers like Carl and Big Tommy need to just forget all that petty stuff and get behind them and turn their backs on their friends or else they're "Uncle Toms!" (Nope no agenda at all.) WE'RE TALKING SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS HERE!!!!!!

White people bending over backwards everywhere just to prove they weren't racists... OH NO WAY! They never heard the "N" word before, much less said it. Not only that, they were distancing themselves from all those horrible people... no proof of any of this ever happening is even required. Just don't stick that icky label on them PLEAAAASE!

As a NOBODY, it is important what a bunch of other NOBODIES think of us!!!
AND THERE IS NO END IN SIGHT!!!

Until now...
MySpace has come up with the solution... THE "WHITES ONLY" FEATURE!

That's right folks... no more walking on eggshells, no more worries about offending anyone. Because we all know that if no one talks about it, and no one is offended... then racism no longer exists! WOO HOO!

Saying the "N" word is far worse than subtle little things like, say, hiding your valuables when one of "THEM" comes to visit, or constantly reminding people around them what color they are and making them uncomfortable, or worrying what will happen to the neighborhood when the first of "THOSE PEOPLE" move in down the street... or one of "THAT KIND" wants to date your daughter! (OH SHIT!). Let's just pretend it doesn't happen... it's worked like a charm for years!


NOW HOLD ON THERE, BUCKAROONIE!
You may think it's that easy to just make a new profile and check off "Caucasian" on the profile to snoop and see what "OUR KIND" is saying, but it isn't... Tom thinks of everything! There is a quiz to make sure you are truly "ONE OF US"....

---

And if that doesn't work... we can all just go to one of those friendlier sites like Stormfront. They don't allow the "N" word to be said, and they talk in cute little codes like "14/88" and have family oriented beliefs like:

"We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children"

Nope... no racism there at all. Just fearful talk and scare tactics to convince people that there's some kind of a threat going on and something needs to be done about "THEM". Most people here wouldn't know what a REAL racist looked like if they burned a cross on their profile comments.


Or we can just tell all these troublemaking assholes to just SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY and we can all move on and get back to having fun and remembering we're all friends and our diversity can be a strength?

Just a thought... gawd I'm sick of this crap already.

A repost from my website back in 2004. It's a little shorter than the original here because.
1. New Jersey jokes are offensive
2. Most of you can barely read as it is.

If I had my way, I would change the way wakes and funerals are run. For starters, what is the point of families trying to out-do each other with floral arrangements? What a waste of money!

To me, nothing says “I loved that stiff more than you did” better than by sending… APPLIANCES! No. Really. Think about it. A death in the family turns loved ones INTO instant vultures anyway. How many times can you think of when Aunt Sadie is barely cold and relatives are ransacking the house for jewelry, heirlooms and loose cash, so why not just bring the goods right INTO the funeral home?


My funeral will be a showstopper (Provided I get this all in a will as family has vowed no way in hell will they do ANY of this.)

Eric's FUNeral Plans include...

Mimes re-enacting my death every half an hour. Hopefully, it will be something simple like a heart attack, or being hit by lightning. Going peacefully in my sleep will be boring, and falling off a skyscraper may be too much of a challenge.


Clowns giving kids black balloons, and squirting people not “mourning properly” with water guns.. I want tears, you fuckers! Yes, I realize many of you will be there to actually MAKE SURE I’m really really dead this time… but that’s still no excuse not to at least TRY to cry. And why keep the kids away? If you’re going to traumatize your kids at a wake… what better place to do it than at mine?


The focus should be on ME, the dead guy, dammit! I’ve been to too many wakes where it either becomes a happy family reunion or for members of the Genovese/Colombo crime families to get together peacefully and plan their next heist. Fuck that shit. What about me????

Since they’ll have to remove vital organs, and sever my muscles and spinal cord to make me look “peaceful” anyway, why not add some hydraulic machinery? Have me sit up and reach for a coke on top of the coffin every once in a while… that’s the way I want to be remembered anyway.

Needless to say, you’re all invited to my FUNeral. There will also be a hot & cold buffet and a wet bar in the back to SHOW my appreciation for coming to my final show.

… even if you’re just making sure I’m gone for good this time.

(Which is highly unlikely as I plan on spending the rest of eternity haunting my enemies, and hovering over some of you babes while you’re in the shower or getting dressed. Evil never truly dies. It merely changes form.)

As the hatemail keeps flooding in to the MANtana Post Office for his controversial "FUCK HAITI" bulletin...

This was overheard today in a Mass Discussion as Sweet Nina and the rest of the HBC's plan to invade the BlogTalkRadio Airwaves on Thursday:

----------------------------------
See THIS is what it means to be a part of MANtana.
It is all about taking the most horrific events in human history and ridiculing it irreverently. It is the dark & scary defense mechanism that no one wants to understand about themselves. We embrace it.

Finding yourself at the darkest moments of your life, where a lesser person would crawl into a fetal position and succumb to pity and surrender to madness... instead you rise up and give it the middle finger in defiance and laugh at it with your scariest laugh. Like Tyler Durden when being beaten to a pulp for using a mobster's basement... scaring the shit out of them and getting your way because you are clearly UNSTOPPABLE.

For every lameass bleeding heart status about Haiti, with no intention of those people to help other than making yourself feel good... there will be jokes about the tragedy. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

At least MANtana puts their money where their mouth is... actions speak louder than words.

No one knows for sure WHY Haiti decided to pull this disaster stunt while in the middle of a MANtana fundraiser... but it will not stop us. Special Needs Children are counting on this money for the Special Olympics... and by God, they are going to have it!

Go on and give money to help people in some corrupt foreign country if you hate retarded and handicapped children in your OWN country so damn much. Whatever makes you feel good about yourselves...

But for those who have a heart on MySpace (and I know many of you do...)

MANTANA POLAR PLUNGE FOR THE SPECIAL OLYMPICS

MANtana Polar Plunge Blog(*updated link*)

Team MANtana Fundraising page (make donations)

Sweet Nina and the MAntana HBC's Emergency Radio Broadcast (WTF Radio - Thurs. 9:30PM EST)

Eric Brooks Fundraising Page

Sign up for my Website Newsletter

Charity begins at home, folks.
Do it for the children. Or be an Un-American traitor that hates special needs kids.
See if I care.

There is something people don't understand about me, and they have to in order to truly know me.

I NEED to believe.
I NEED to see the world and all of its mysteries with a child-like awe and amazement.
I NEED to believe all things are truly possible.
I NEED to believe in magic and other unexplained forces at work without looking at it too close.

It is essential to my creative process and ability to tap into something deep inside me to make my own magic in all that I do. This is what works for me. I suspect it's the same for many creative types.

--------------------------------
In the Summer, I find myself drawn to lightning storms and wander outside to face it unprotected.

I draw from the sheer power and rage of Mother Nature, making it my own. I know how She feels. It's OUR fury She is acting out.

I don't feel the cold rain, the howling winds, or even fear being struck... I let go and trust Her not to hurt me.

I just let go... AND BELIEVE.
At some points in my life, blind faith was all I had to go on....
---------------------------------


An email I get every year from a friend, and it brings a smile to my face. There's a story behind it. There is a magic in the air this time of year that I have no desire to look too close at it. I just appreciate it. I shared the story on a message board and fully expected people to think I was insane. The response was surprising and unexpected...

On several Christmas Eves, in the middle of the night, I found myself wandering out to the middle of the streets. Much like I do during lightning storms. It's as if I was being called, and my body had no choice but to obey.

There is no religious significance to it. The settings were just right. The stillness, the quiet, the lights, the starry skies and the snow all around me. The animals foraging for food in the woods quietly. The peaceful souls sleeping comfortably, the excitement and anticipation of dreaming children of what is about to come. The energy of all living things around me...

In the middle of the quiet road, I'd close my eyes and draw from it all... Opening myself. Connecting. Becoming one with everything. Becoming something larger than myself, or the world around me, even the universe surrounding it...

And then I'd hear it.

I'd hear the music that was calling for me.
Not quite human voices... it's way too high pitched, possibly out of human frequency.
A beautiful melody that can't be described with words or explain the joy and tranquility it gives you. The tears you formed from the beauty of it all...

You can't experience these things unless you keep yourself open to them. This is why I NEED to believe.
-----------------------------------
Anyway, one friend on that message board had to share this with me. She told her husband about my story, and he froze. He was a musician. A very spiritual man. Tears welled in his eyes.

He said "I've heard that music too. I thought I was the only one and was afraid to tell anyone thinking I was crazy".

"I hope you hear the music again this year, Eric..."
Every year she drops me a note in my inbox to remind me.

I hope you all can hear that music at least once in your lives...
All the best to you and yours.

Hello, Kids!

I am still busy with projects right now, but I just wanted to drop in for a bit to say a few things. Now please don't take this personally...

... but you really grate on my nerves. And I hate you.

I mean, we're talking that "Freddy Kruger scraping his claws across a metal bar" kind of irritating, you know?

I think standards need to be imposed here from now on, like:
More funny and entertaining drama - When you people have me rooting for and cheering Michael the Rochester Guy on and agreeing with him that you are LAME-O, then you have a problem. What is up with the lame "drama" blogs lately? Where are the groundbreaking revelations? Where is the funny twist and parody? Where are the elements that will make people remember that blog for a long, long time? All I am seeing is the same graphics we all made a long time ago, and nicknames and info that was dug up last year... It's embarrassing! It's like watching our epic battle from last year being remade by some cheesy dinner theater group. Harry Fox and Liberal Leeza? WHO CARES?

You 3rd-string drama blogger wannabes think you're funny and original.
I think you're fags and psychotic. To-MAY-to, To-MAH-to. Same thing.

Here's a friendly tip: Don't blog when you're angry. There's no better payback than humiliating your adversary and making something stick to them forever. And if you are still going on about something that was said to you 3 months ago or more on MySpace...


You know we only pretend to care about you being butthurt, right?
Mainly we just like watching two morons going at it here. Remember how you found yourself glued to the tv when Jerry Springer was on? Same thing.

I had more to gripe about (like all these long-winded blogs where I am scrolling, and scrolling and wondering IF YOUR BLOG POST IS EVER GOING TO END???) but I am getting upset and don't want to get committed take another vacation again.

What do YOU suggest to improve the quality of the LAME-O blogging around here lately?

You know, I thought this was the stupidest song I ever heard when this came out.


Of course this was the 21 year old "romantic 80's Eric" talking. He thought a single stemmed rose and having "She Walks in Beauty" memorized and able to recite it on command was the ticket to a woman's heart.

No wonder I spent so much time alone.
My hand and I sort of became an item, and went steady after a while.

It took a bit of life lessons to realize being a romantic and "any ol' girl will do", just isn't the way.

(I laugh watching these "Hopeless Romantic" types leaving graphics to women all over the place here. It warms my heart to know there are men just a little more clueless than I am. These guys don't love a woman. They're just in love with LOVE. )

A woman wants to be seen for who she is. Loved for who she is. Sometimes even despite who she is...

You need to SEE her.
You need to notice the unique things that make her who she is... and love her for it.

I see so many relationships fail because of ones selfishness (I could write a book on what NOT to do there!). Fear too. Fear breeds some of the ugliest things out of human beings, and it wreaks havok on your love live. Irrational jealousy, distrust, your overactive imagination running away with you... add that with the selfishness of expecting someone to be more than who they are, or what you thought they should be. Thinking of nothing but "what's in it for me?". Seeing what they do as some sort of reflection on you... well, you wont last very long on that path.

Ever meet someone who got so ugly after all the flowery "I love you"s, to getting annoyed and angry because they expected something out of you or thinking they should get something out of it for what they've done from "the goodness of their hearts", despite previously saying otherwise?

Did they really love that person...?
Or were they just "bartering" like it was some kind of business arrangement?

Love should come with no expectations. No strings attached. No scores being kept.

A heart can't be bought, or earned, or seized. It can only be given. Love is all about giving. When you get it back, you are the luckiest bastard in the world.

A few things I've learned along the way these past 44 years.

Anyway, back to this stupid song...

Someone once said "Sorry, but you're stuck with me", and it took all of my worries and concerns of losing her right out of me. My ex used to say all the time "You're like an old shoe, Eric. That's why I keep you around. I'm comfortable with you."

Consistency.
Security.
Stability.

Women want that too.

As the Lord of Chaos/God of Mischief... this has probably been my hardest lesson to learn to this date. I fear routine and boredom. I'm usually at my best when all hell is breaking loose. I'm not happy unless everything around me is going terribly wrong. I find comfort and order amidst the madness and mayhem. The joy in someone else's pain and misery... turning negative energy into something positive. Count on me to fuck up or sabotage just about anything with my nihilistic mindset.

Fortunately there are other sides to me, and I can work on this.

We've had our doubts, but we never took them seriously
And we've had our ins and outs, but that's the way it's supposed to be
We thought about giving up, but we could never stay away
We thought about breaking up, but now we know it's much too late
And it's no great mystery
If we change our minds
Eventually, it's back to you and me

~ "Stuck With You" - Huey Lewis & the News

This is love. This is the sum of all good relationships.
Ups and downs. Good times and bad times.
Partners in life going through all sorts of things and emerging stronger for it instead of giving up, and learning something new about one another. Closer than ever.

Being comfortable with each other. Stuck with each other.
And being happy they're stuck with you, too.

I remember a friend commenting "I want a man I can feel comfortable peeing in front of."

I volleyed back by stating that "being allowed to fart in front of someone is considered a milestone in my relationships."

Sure, we grossed everyone else out... but we got it.

It took me a long time... but I finally get this one too.
I finally get this song and what it means too.
It's the next step after the romance and the honeymoon phase.
It's about being with someone and enjoying them.
Let go of the fears and doubts... You are with each other because you CHOOSE to be.

It's that simple...

No long stemmed roses or Lord Byron necessary.

And I am digging it... I know what goes into composing music, and making videos, a lot of work went into it. I just LOVE IT! Especially the exotic far off fantasy aspects of it... I think this will be the new theme song for the MySpace Taliban. It is PERFECT!


Do you know why this hits me in that soft spot that I refuse to let people know exists? Over the years, my kids have constantly asked:

Yes, my son made this at 12!

My kids' DNA is comprised of two very creative people. My son is a phenomenal artist, and what he does blows ANYTHING away that I ever did at 12. My daughters inherited everything from musical and singing talent, craft making, to even our hustler/con artist genes. They think outside the box, and they are crafty like foxes.

As grandma tried to tell them about careers as nurses or administrative assistants... I'd pull them on the side and say "Don't listen to her, you're going to be a DOCTOR". (Or artist, lawyer, rock star... whatever their dreams are.) I want them to reach for the stars and believe they can accomplish anything. I WANT to nurture their creativity, spark their imagination, and encourage them toward greatness.

But more importantly there is a value in something that someone took the time out to create for me. Something that just can't be bought in stores. They MADE it... for ME!

That means a lot to me.
So wow, Chad... I love ya, man!!!!

Don't forget to check out his latest series as he unlocks the vaults of MySpace Dramas of Yesteryear...

I tell you, the names may change, but the same goofy behavior and mistakes happen over and over here. It's comedy gold!!!

So bear with me in this mish-mash of jumbled thoughts. I have a point in here somewhere. That's not to compare Chad360° to my kids... though Chad actually does remind me of a great many people in my life I was very fond of. And I feel that kind of closeness.

It wasn't always this way.
You see, Chad used to scare the shit out of me before I got to know him.
I was always a big fan, but I thought it best to keep my distance and stay off his radar... I lurked his blogs for months.

*screen goes squiggly again as we go back in time, and the "Happy Days" theme song plays and we all grab a malt at Al's... 50's music playing on the jukebox... smell of brylcream everywhere... motorcycles revving in the parking lot... black & white tvs with only 13 channels... yadda, yadda, yadda...*

*WHOOPS! Went too far back, fast forwarding to Fall 2007...*

He and Bad Lisa were always "larger than life" to me. Their voices and blogs boomed a lot louder than mine or anyone else's. I'd watch the top ten blogs get raided by those two, as well as LALA, Nip/Tuck, followed by all these wannabe tagalong losers that tried to impress them and "get in" with the clique...

Thank God for my five readers on my tiny little blog that I was using to promote my websites. I made it a point that I was never ranking in this shithole of a social network, that's for DAMN SURE! These people are BRUTAL!

Then MANtana came along. At the time, you were lucky if 10 people were on that blog. I saw Pedobear commenting blogs all over the place, so I followed him there (kids: DON'T DO THAT!). EP wound up on Bad Lisa's radar, as well as Coqueto and me. I was screwed!!!!

I also found THE ALMIGHTY OZ at the time. He was this mysterious being... hellbent on toppling the pretentious and phony "Top Bloggers" here in a Revolution. That's where I plugged in and connected with some of the COOLEST MySpace people ever.

It was also there where Bad Lisa "blog shanked" me for the first time. Never was sweet little ol' 3' 5" me attacked on MySpace before.

I still consider OZ "our place". (*dreamy sigh* ).

Then, I met Mayet on OZ. To me she seemed like a popular blogger and everyone knew her. She caught me on a bad day where I was getting all these annoying "subscribe to my blog" emails. I'd check my readers list, and if I didn't see that they had the courtesy to subscribe to me so we can support each other (it was only a quarter inch away from the other link, people!!!), I'd blast them with both barrels. I shot her this NASTY email and told her to "go build your fucking fan club somewhere else".

(But I took her standing in the community into consideration too... she got one of the NICER emails compared to what I sent to the OTHER losers! )

Who knew she was so sensitive?
Does "fan club" mean something different in Australia?

Then she did her "Who is the Top Blogger on MySpace" blog and it was positively weird. Clearly I upset her, and she was referring to me in comments like I was some sort of a big deal here. HUH??? I thought SHE was the bigger and more popular blogger???!!!? I was a nobody here...



She *MIGHT* have been referring to Mish the Martini Man, now that I think about it... who knows for sure???


.
We did laugh about the whole thing later on but I was just amazed at how low she thought of herself and she somehow considered me a top blogger??? It's tradition now. Once a year we go to battle, then when it's over... we laugh about it and jettison all the chumps that took sides against us.
THAT'LL TEACH YOU! MIND YOUR BUSINESS!! WE DON'T NEEEED YOUUUUUUU!!!!!

Then Minx came along and got all offended because I did a blog goofing on what NOT to do in blogging and how bloggers are all losers that take themselves too seriously (uh... I wrote a BLOG making fun of bloggers. Hello? Ironic comedic twist anyone?). After surviving that three-way attack, I figured I could survive ANYTHING!!!

We're all friends now. (I think?)
.......................................

When you watch Chad and his blogs, he goes through great pains to explain he doesn't hate these people, some of them he befriends later... the reality is, we all just goofballs and jokers once we got to know each other better. We dont mean anyone harm or wish them ill. We catch someone busting their ass slipping on the floor and we point and laugh at them. That's all! Bad Lisa did her radio shows and it somewhat humanized her to me. I thought perhaps she didn't have talons and sharp bloody fangs after all.

There is NO "A-List"
There is no "Cool Kids Club"
There is no Cabal of evil bloggers looking to sacrifice your children to Satan
There is just... us. You and me, and 500 million other wack jobs. Some with incredible talent and a gift for entertaining the masses. Some with... uhm... uh... *pats their heads*.

See? It's all a matter of perception. Some people seem larger than life to us here. Some people seem terrifying... a lot of really stupid people see the world in terms of black and white, good and evil, and believe everything they read in a moment of anger here. We're all just a bunch of putzes logging on to MySpace, no better or worse than anyone else.

The reality is that there is so much depth to ALL OF US. You can't get a full grasp of a human being online. Hell I read things about me in blogs and think "Whoah is there another ME running loose? I don't know who that guy is, but I don't like him either."

Chad shouldn't have to put out those disclaimers about people. Of COURSE there are other sides to us. Friends shouldn't need to feel they have to defend their friends and explain that they see them differently.

Then again, people are morons.

They will take in a one-sided story in a drama blog and run with it as if it were Gospel Truth. Some will go on the warpath, act as if you dug up their grandmother for a quickie, all because you pointed out one of their character flaws. They'll deflect it by trying to point out you have flaws too. (NAAAAAW , REALLY?)

Then there is the "Fear Factor" - People so afraid of someone else here that they will hit you with everything they've got. A whole blog full of nastiness, threats, expletives, and ad hominem attacks... for what, just mentioning them? Just saying their name? People running around saying "so and so hates me" all because of some negative remark? Are there no shrinks where these people live?

But yeah I can see why he needs to make the obvious crystal clear before people forget to take their meds again, and go have a mental breakdown in front of everyone...

You don't know a whole hell of a lot about me. And I don't reveal much about myself when you think about it. I simply don't trust much of the general population enough to let people in...

My point....?

There is way more to us than just our digital selves.
Most of us don't really know ourselves that well, either.

We also see things and people and ourselves differently from our vantage points, so what you see may not necessarily be what you get.

And for cryin' out loud, please stop taking all this MySpace crap so seriously! The internet was never meant to replace life. So WHAT if we all find you irritating and annoying as hell?

I need to wait before I decide to get more outrageous here. For the "Deletion Prone" around here, YOU NEED TO GET IN TOUCH WITH ME. I am currently developing a Secret Super Weapon that will take most of the hassles out when you're deleted.

You'll be back up and running so fast that the @$$hole that got you deleted will wonder why they wasted their time bothering.

Oh and don't worry about whether I like you or not. When it comes to "web things", I keep it all strictly professional. This MySpace crap doesn't have a place in business.

Oh and...

Send FREE Thanksgiving E-Cards to friends and family at the


Click HERE!
(Flash e-cards are coming soon)

PS: Do I even need a disclaimer telling you what I think about @$$holes joining hate groups in this day and age? COME ON! Some things wont go away until you mock and ridicule it out of existence.

PPS: To the husband and wife who set up a teepee in my backyard today... look, I thought you were Mexican when I told you to "Go back to where you came from", not Lenape Indians. You made your point, can you please leave now?

I've seen this phrase here and there in different variations...

"Being tough isn't about how hard you can hit, it's how hard you GET HIT and still keep going".

I meant to write a whole piece after inspired by Mystery's latest blog about how you need the lows in life to appreciate the highs. The dark clouds to appreciate the vibrant colors. And even though you feel like you will never come out of the darkness and despair... you will.

You HAVE to.




And...


uhm....








Well, this is all I've got.

The point is, we all have our trials by fire. They harden us, they forge us into who we are supposed to become. Some people break down, even if only for a short while. And that's ok. They will rise back up just a little stronger than they were before. It's far better than so many people who can't seem to get over a tragedy / a wrong in their past and let it cripple them for the rest of their lives.

But those that face adversity and hardship head on...
Taking all of life's kicks and punches...
....and STILL keep moving forward?

That's tough as nails!

Take whatever you can out of this... I'm not sure I even made a point. I just thought it was time to put something new in here.


I need sleep.