Eric's High School Tennis

2004 Live Oak Varsity Tennis

[No off-season matches]

TCAL League matches:
--vs. Palma
            L vs. Matt Grosnick
--vs. North Salinas
            L vs. ? Floe
--vs. Salinas
            L vs. foreign exchange student
--vs. Hollister
            W vs. Cameron Barker
--vs. Gilroy
            W vs. ? Adams
--vs. Palma
            L vs. Russell O'Shea
--vs. North Salinas
            W vs. ?
--vs. Salinas
            L vs. Sean Hemmer
--vs. Hollister
            didn't play
--vs. Gilroy
            W vs. ?
--vs. Palma
            L vs. Matt Grosnick
--vs. North Salinas [doubles]
            W vs. ?
--vs. Salinas
            L vs. Sean Hemmer
--vs. Hollister [doubles]
            W vs. ?
--vs. Gilroy [doubles]
            L vs. ?

Season records:
Team: 9-6
Me: 6-8

TCAL League Tournament:
Team: 7-4
Me: 2-1

Overall:
Me: 8-9
Me playing Doubles: 2-1
Me playing Singles: 6-8

2005 Live Oak Varsity Tennis

Off-season matches:
--3/2: vs. Pacific Grove
            Team: W 5-2
            Me: W 6-1, 6-1 vs. Unknown
--3/9: vs. Carmel
            Team: L 3-4
            Me: W 7-5, 6-4 vs. Unknown
--4/6: vs. Valley Christian
            Team: L 3-4
            Me: W 6-1, 7-6 (7-1) vs. Chris Sanine
--4/18: vs. Pacific Grove
            Team: L 3-4
            Me: Sick; didn't play

Totals:
Team: 1-3
Me: 3-0

TCAL League matches:
--3/10: vs. Palma
            Team: L 3-4
            Me: W 7-5, 6-4 vs. L.B. Pressas
--3/15: vs. Salinas
            Team: L 0-7
            Me: L 3-6, 3-6 vs. Sean Hemmer
--4/5: vs. Gilroy
            Team: W 6-1
            Me: W 6-3, 6-2 vs. Anthony Christian
--4/12: vs. Palma
            Team: L 2-5
            Me: L 4-6, 6-3, (8-10) vs. L.B. Pressas
--4/14: vs. Salinas
            Team: L 1-6
            Me: L 6-3, 2-6, (8-10) vs. David Morton
--4/20: vs. Hollister
            Team: W 6-1
            Me: W 6-1, 6-3 vs. Cameron Barker
--4/21: vs. Gilroy [doubles]
            Team: W 6-1
            Me: W 6-0, 6-4 vs. (Unknown)
--4/26: vs. Hollister [doubles]
            Team: W 6-1
            Me: W 6-2, 6-2 vs. (Unknown)

Totals:
Team: 4-4
Me: 5-3

TCAL League Tournament [Playing doubles with Nick]:
--4/28: 1st day:
            -1st Round [8-game pro-set]:
                        W 8-2 vs. Hollister's 2nd doubles
            -2nd Round:
                        W 6-2, 6-0 vs. Live Oak's 3rd doubles Jake Haim/Charles Seacat
            -Semifinals:
                        W 6-4, 6-1 vs. Salinas's 2nd doubles
--4/29: 2nd day
            -Finals:
                        L 3-6, 5-7 vs. Salinas's Sean Hemmer/David Morton

Totals:
Team: 5-6
Me and Nick: 3-1

Overall [League and off-season matches]:
Team: 5-7
Me: 8-3

Overall [All matches including tournament]:
Me: 11-4
Me playing Doubles: 5-1
Me playing Singles: 6-3

Ace Count: 18
2nd Serve Aces: 1
Bagels: 2
Anti-Bagels: 0
Churros: 5
Tiebreaker Record: 1-2

2006 Live Oak Varsity Tennis

[No off-season matches]

TCAL League Matches
--3/9: vs. Palma
            Team: L 1-6
            Me: L 5-7, 4-6 vs. L.B. Pressas
--3/16: vs. Sobrato
            Team: W 6-1
            Me: W 6-0, 6-0 vs. Andrew Le
--3/21: vs. Gilroy
            Team: W 7-0 (default)
            Me: W 4-1, default vs. Ben Wilson
--3/22: vs. Salinas
            Team: L 0-7
            Me: L 0-6, 0-6 vs. Brian Pybas
--3/23: vs. Hollister
            Team: L 3-4
            Me: W 6-3, 7-5 vs. Danny Coffey
--3/30: vs. Salinas
            Team: L 1-6
            Me: W 6-3, 6-2 vs. Frankie Maceira
--4/6: vs. Gilroy
            Team: W 6-1
            Me: W 6-2, 6-1 vs. Ben Wilson
--4/13: vs. Sobrato
            Team: W 7-0
            Me: W 6-0, 6-0 vs. Casey Schenkelberg
--4/24: vs. Palma
            Team: L 2-5
            Me: W 6-4, 6-3 vs. Russell O'Shea
--4/25: vs. Hollister
            Team: W 5-2
            Me: W 7-5, 6-3 vs. Danny Coffey

Totals:
Team: 5-5
Me: 8-2

TCAL League Tournament
--4/28: Day 1
            -1st Round:
                        (Bye)
            -2nd Round:
                        W 7-6 (7-3), 6-3 vs. Frankie Maceira
            -Semifinals:
                        W 7-5, 6-3 vs. Danny Coffey
--4/29: Day 2
            -Finals:
                        L 0-6, 0-6 vs. Brian Pybas

Totals:
Team: 4-4
Me: 2-1

CCS Division Tournament
--5/23:
            -First Round:
                        L 0-6, 0-6 vs. Simon Cheng (Leland)

Overall [All matches including tournaments]
Record: 10-4
Ace Count: 14
2nd Serve Aces: 0
Bagels: 4
Anti-bagels: 6
Churros: 1
Tiebreaker Record: 1-0

2007 Live Oak Varsity Tennis

Offseason matches:

--2/16: vs. Gilroy
            Team: W 7-0
            Me: W 3-6, 6-0, (9-7) vs. Ben Wilson
--2/21: vs. Hollister
            Team: W 6-1
            Me: vacation; didn't play
--3/28: vs. Los Gatos [doubles]
            Team: L 0-7
            Me: L 2-6, 4-6 vs. ?
--4/24: vs. Carmel
            Team: W 5-2
            Me: W 4-6, 6-3, 7-6 (7-4) vs. Dillon ?

Totals:
Team: 3-1
Me: 2-1

BVAL League (West Valley Division) Matches:

--3/1: vs. Andrew Hill
            Team: W 5-2
            Me: W 6-1, 6-0 vs. (Unknown)
--3/6: vs. Willow Glen
            Team: W 6-1
            Me: W 6-2, 6-1 vs. Daniel Macias
--3/8: vs. Overfelt
            Team: W 5-2
            Me: W 6-0, 6-1 vs. Matt Garcia
--3/13: vs. Del Mar
            Team: L 2-5
            Me: L 6-1, 2-6, 2-6 vs. Eugene Le
--3/15: vs. San Jose
            Team: W 5-2
            Me: scholarship; didn't play
--3/20: vs. Sobrato
            Team: W 6-1
            Me: W 6-2, 6-0 vs. Ronny Pollard
--3/27: vs. Andrew Hill
            Team: W 5-2
            Me: W 6-3, 6-3 vs. Long Chen
--3/29: vs. Willow Glen
            Team: L 4-3 (default)
            Me: W 6-1, 6-2 vs. Phil Unger
--4/3: vs. Overfelt
            Team: W 6-1
            Me: W 6-0, 6-2 vs. Matt Garcia
--4/5: vs. Del Mar
            Team:  W 5-2
            Me: L 2-6, 2-6 vs. Steven Roberts
--4/17: vs. San Jose
            Team: W 7-0
            Me: W 6-0, 6-0 vs. Boris ?
--4/19: vs. Sobrato
            Team: W 7-0
            Me: W 6-3, 6-3 vs. Randy Pinkston

Totals:
Team: 10-2
Me: 8-2

BVAL League (West Valley Division) Tournament

--4/18: Day One
            -First Round
                        L vs. Jeffrey Leung (Andrew Hill) 7-5, 5-7, 3-6

Totals:
Team: 6-4
Me: 0-1

Overall [All matches including tournament]:
Record: 12-3
Ace Count: 24
2nd Serve Aces: 2
Bagels: 7
Anti-Bagels: 0
Churros: 5
Tiebreaker Record: 2-0

Career Overall Records:

Combined Total: 38-20
Singles: 28-17
Doubles: 7-3
Aces: 62*
2nd Serve Aces: 3*
Bagels: 13*
Anti-Bagels: 6*
Churros: 11*
Tiebreaker Record: 4-2*

*[excluding freshman year]

Repertoire:

Currently Ready for Performance:
-Etude in C Minor a.k.a. Revolutionary Etude [Chopin]
-Caixinha de Musica Quebrada (The Little Broken Music Box) [Villa-Lobos]
-Etude in D. Minor [Scriabin]
-Improv for a Jazzed up version of Bach's Minuet [Loussier]
-Danse Rituelle de Feu. a.k.a. "Fire Dance" [Manuel de Falla.]
-Policinelle in F# Minor [Rachmoninoff]
-Liebestraume (Nocturne No. 3) [Liszt]

Current Works-in-Progress:

-Nocturne in C Minor [Chopin]
-La Campanella [Lizst]
-Negrinha [Villa-Lobos]

Finished (in the past):
-Branquinha (The Little White Doll) [Villa-Lobos]
-K331 3rd movement (Alla Turca a.k.a. Turkish March) [Mozart]-Minuet [Padereski]
-The Harmonious Blacksmith [Handel]
-Etude No. 6 in F Major [Moskowski]
-Der Jongleur [Toch]
-Danzas Argentinas 1st movement: Danza del viejo boyero [Ginastera]
-O Polichinelo (The Punch Doll) [Villa-Lobos]
-Pirouette's Hands [Villa-Lobos]
-Bear Dance [Bartok]
-Suzuki Vol. 1-7
-Puck [Grieg]
-Tribute to Roberto Garcia Marillo [Ginastera]
-Italian Concerto [J. S. Bach]
-Bridal Chorus from Lohengrin [Wagner]

Might Get To If I Lived Long Enough To Do So: 
-Toccata [Prokofiev]
-Variations on "Ah, Vous Dirai-Je Maman" a.k.a. "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" Variations (haha no they're actually HARD) [Mozart]
-A prole do bebe No.1 series (the rest of them)
-April [Bridge]
-Danzas Argentinas 2nd and 3rd movements [Ginastera]
-Toccata [Diemer]
-Tribute to Heitor Villa-Lobos [Ginastera]
-Hungarian Rhapsody (full version) [Lizst]
-Inventions and Sinfonias [J. S. Bach]
-Toccata [Khatchaturian]

Recorded Compositions:

-Sketch #1
-Sketch #2
-The List
-The Rhythm Game
-All I Could Ever Ask For

Key:
Date: Meet Name {W = win, L = loss if league meet} @ Location (JV = junior varsity or V = varsity, Time, Overall place [Live Oak place])
League meets in bold/italics

2004 Season

Schedule:
-Sept. 8: TCAL Jamboree @ Toro Park (JV, 21:21, 17th/64?)
-Sept. 13: Hollister {L} and Palma {?} @ Hollister (JV, 21:06, 7th/24?)
-Sept. 18: Chieftain Classic @ Toro Park (JV, 19:51, 33rd/101)
-Sept. 28: Salinas {?} @ Toro Park (JV, 19:01, 3rd/14)
-Oct. 2: Artichoke Invitational @ Half Moon Bay [about 2.25 miles] (V, 14:04, 60th/97)
-Oct. 11: North Salinas {W} @ Anderson (V, 18:43, 7th/14)
-Oct. 15: Rough Rider Invitational @ Woodward Park (V, 19:09, 109th/?)
-Oct. 18: Gilroy {W} @ Anderson (V, 17:58, 5th/14)
-Oct. 23: Ekiden Relays @ Rocklin [2 miles] (12:06, 7th/?)
-Oct. 30: TCAL Championships @ Toro Park (V, 18:29, 29th/?)

2005 Season

Schedule:
-Sept. 7: TCAL Jamboree @ Toro Park (V, 18:43, 27nd/50 [5th])
-Sept. 12: Salinas {L} @ Anderson (V, 18:00, 6th/18 [2nd])
-Sept. 17: Chieftain Classic @ Toro Park (Did not compete)
-Sept. 24: Stanford Invitational @ Stanford Golf Course (V, 18:33, 131st/277 [3rd])
-Sept: 26: North Salinas {W} @ Toro Park (V, 18:23, 6th/19 [4th])
-Oct. 1: Artichoke Invitational @ Half Moon Bay [about 2.25 miles] (V, 13:26, 27th/? [3rd])
-Oct. 10: Gilroy {L} @ Gilroy (V, 17:39, 7th/19 [2nd])
-Oct. 13: Center Meet #1 @ Crystal Springs (V, 18:17, 60th/157 [3rd])
-Oct. 17: Palma {W} and Hollister {L} @ Anderson (V, 17:47, 14th/25, [5th])
-Oct. 20: Center Meet #2 @ Crystal Springs (V, 17:38, 50th/142 [4th])
-Oct. 22: Ekiden Relays @ Rocklin [2k or about 1.25 miles] (V, 7:08 [Team time: ?], Team place: 6th/23?)
-Oct. 29: TCAL Championships @ Toro Park (V, 17:37, 17th/44 [2nd])
-Nov. 12: CCS @ Crystal Springs (V [Division II], 17:41, 63rd/112 [4th]; Team Place: 10th/16, Combined Place: 240th/438, Combined Team Place: 40th/59)

2006 Season

Schedule:
-Sept. 2: Gilroy @ Gilroy (V, 19:26, 5th/? [2nd])
-Sept. 11: Westmont {L} and Independence {L} @ Montgomery Hill (V, 18:27, 9th/51 [1st])
-Sept. 16: Chieftain Classic @ Toro Park (V, 18:51, 82nd/142 [1st])
-Sept. 18: Andrew Hill {L} @ Montgomery Hill (V, 17:35, 8th/52? [1st])
-Sept. 25: Oak Grove @ Alum Rock (V, 17:47, 3rd/? [1st])
-Oct. 2: Oak Grove {L}, Yerba Buena {L}, Lincoln {W}, and Independence {L} @ Montgomery Hill (V, 17:01, 9th/52? [1st])
-Oct. 14: Monterey Bay Invitational @ Toro Park (V, 18:10, 27th/72 [1st])
-Oct. 16: Overfelt {W} and Oak Grove {L} @ Montgomery Hill (V, 16:56, 6th/52? [1st])
-Oct. 19: Center Meet #2 @ Crystal Springs (V, 17:35, 36th/157 [1st]
-Oct. 22: Gilroy @ Gilroy (V, 18:00, 3rd/27? [1st])
-Oct. 30: BVAL Championships @ Crystal Springs (V, 17:41, 34th/162 [1st])
-Nov. 11: CCS Championships @ Toro Park (V, 18:03, 66th/119)

PRs:

[All races are 5k (about 3.1 miles) unless otherwise noted]:
Toro Park: 17:37
Anderson (Home Course): 17:47
Hollister: 21:06
Gilroy (old): 17:39
Gilroy (new): 18:00
Montgomery Hill: 16:56
Alum Rock: 17:47
Woodward Park: 19:09
Crystal Springs: 17:35
Half Moon Bay [about 2.25 miles]: 13:26
Rocklin 2-mile race: 12:06
Rocklin Relays [2k]: 7:08
Stanford Golf Course: 18:33

The Hobo Story

Prologue
WELL I could say that it all started when I tripped over this hobos cane. The hobo got really really mad before saying, Hey, Ill give you $100 if you can answer this question. Well, I didnt exactly know the answer to this question, so I left the hobo in search for the answer. So I went up to this old lady on a park bench and sat down next to her. I sat there for a few awkward moments before, out of the blue, asking her my question. But suddenly, she got really really mad and started whacking me with her cane multiple times. So I ran away from her crying, embarrassed that I had just been beaten up by an old lady. So I kept running and runninguntil I was all the way home.

Chapter 1
When I showed up at my front door, my mom was there to greet me. But first she asked, Johnny, what happened? Where have you been? And why are you so beat up? So began to explain, Well, it all started when I tripped over this hobos cane and the hobo got really really mad and he said that hed give me a hundred bucks if I could answer this question but I didnt know the answer to this question so I went up to this old lady on a park bench and asked her this question but then she got really really mad and started whacking me with her cane and so I ran home cryingand now, Im here. So my mom asks me, Well, as your mother, I demand to know what this question was, young man. So I said, Well, I guess since youre my mom, I may as well tell you. So when I asked her the question, she got really really mad and turned all red before booting me out of my own house. She yelled out, YOURE GOING TO SCHOOL!!! OUT!!! before the door was slammed behind her. So I thought to myself, well, I may as well go to school I guess.

Chapter 2
So I went to school that day. But after the bell rang, the teacher asked me to stay after school to talk with him. So I asked him at his desk, What seems to be the problem? And the teacher said back to me, That was the question I wanted to as you. I was curious why you came in all ragged and beat up today. As one of my students, Im worried about you. Is there anything youd like to tell me? So I felt that he may as well know how I ended up here, so I began: Well, it all started when I tripped over this hobos cane and the hobo got really really mad and he said that hed give me a hundred bucks if I could answer this question but I didnt know the answer to this question so I went up to this old lady on a park bench and asked her this question but then she got really really mad and started whacking me with her cane and so I ran home crying where my mom met me at the front door and I asked her my question and she got really really mad and kicked me out of my own house and sent me to schoolso now, Im here. Well, the teacher gave me a puzzled look, and said in the most sincere way he could, Johnny, youre only eight years old. But know that you can trust me and that I can keep things confidential. Id like to know what this question youve been asking is. So I sighed, and then, I asked him the question. Suddenly, my teacher got really really mad and stood up in his seat. He grabbed his yardstick and started hitting me with it repeatedly until it broke. Then, steaming, he stuttered, Y-Youare g-g-going to the p-p-principals officeN-NOW!!! So I ran out of the classroom before he could grab anything else to throw at me.

Chapter 3
As I walked down the cold, darkened hallway to the principals office, I looked about to see that the whole school seemed to have emptied out.  I saw nothing more than a janitor picking gum off of the drinking fountain.  I had never been set to the principals office before!  The thought of his angry face sent a shiver down my spine.  Then, I approached the door to the office.  I took one slow, deep breath before turning the knob and stepping in.  The principal looked up from his paperwork and adjusted his square-lens glasses before asking me, So, Johnny, your teacher called in just a minute ago to call you in, and he sounded absolutely furious.  He twiddled his thumbs for a brief second, and then continued, Id like to know nothing but the truth, young man, and I know a lie when I hear one.  What exactly did you do?  Trembling, I replied, II asked him a question.  So, why did he send you here just for asking a question? questioned the principal, this time using a slightly stronger tone of voice.  So I said, Well, it all started when I tripped over this hobos cane and the hobo got really really mad and he said that hed give me a hundred bucks if I could answer this question but I didnt know the answer to this question so I went up to this old lady on a park bench and asked her this question but then she got really really mad and started whacking me with her cane and so I ran home crying where my mom met me at the front door and I asked her my question and she got really really mad and kicked me out of my own house and sent me to school and when the bell rang at school the teacher called me up and wanted to talk with me so I explained what happened and then eventually told him the question and he got really really mad and started whacking me with his yardstick so I ran out of the classroom and he sent me to the principals office...and now, Im here.  So after hearing my ramble, the principal was nearly shouting by this time, and he said, Well, Johnny, I have to KNOW what this question is before I can excuse you from anything that might go on, say, your PERMANENT RECORD.  Afraid of such a thing, I quickly stated the question.  And suddenly, he nearly exploded with rage and got really really mad similar to everyone Ive told the question to.  He chucked his mug at me and I ran out the door as fast as my legs could carry me.  It smashed against the wall, and halfway down the hallway I heard him, scream, EXPELLED!!! YOURE EXPELLED!!!  And so I made my way out of the schools front door and was out for good.

Chapter 4
Well, now that I couldnt home, and I couldnt go to school, I was wandering the streets for many hours until it started to become dark.  Then, a police car approached me and said, Son, you know theres a curfew in this town for kids your age especially.  Hm, and for that matter, I dont see many 8-year-old kids up at midnight walking out in the streets.  Whats your name, son?  I told him my name was Johnny.  Johnny, eh? said the officer, Well, Johnny, can you please tell me what youre doing here?  So I explained, Well, it all started when I tripped over this hobos cane and the hobo got really really mad and he said that hed give me a hundred bucks if I could answer this question but I didnt know the answer to this question so I went up to this old lady on a park bench and asked her this question but then she got really really mad and started whacking me with her cane and so I ran home crying where my mom met me at the front door and I asked her my question and she got really really mad and kicked me out of my own house and sent me to school and when the bell rang at school the teacher called me up and wanted to talk with me so I explained what happened and then eventually told him the question and he got really really mad and started whacking me with his yardstick so I ran out of the classroom and he sent me to the principals office and so then I talked with the principal and told him the question and he got really really mad and threw a mug at me but he missed as he yelled at me that I was expelled so I ran out of the door and out of the hallway and finally out of the school and so I had to wander about on the streets because  couldnt go home and I couldnt go to schooland now, Im here.  So the police officer began to walk me over to the car.  He said, Johnny, Im going to take you home and get things sorted out with your mother.  Oh, by the way, what was that question that youve been asking everybody?  So I figured in my head, Well, what could possibly go wrong now?  I cant possibly be put in a worse position than I already am.  So I told him the question.  Suddenly he got really really mad and started beating me with his nightstick.  He picked me up like a move on WWE and basically threw me into his car.  He drove like a madman; it very much scared me.  He was going 70 on the city streets at midnight.  Finally, he pulled up at the police station where he told me that I would be held for questioning by the chief of police.

Chapter 5
A pair of policemen led me into an office-sized room.  Wait here, said the larger, rounder one as they both exited out the door.  I took a seat on a plastic chair, and waited.  And waited and waited.  Nearly an hour later, the chief of police came in.  He yawned and sat down in front of his desk.  This one better be good, he muttered under his alcohol-tainted breath.  Finally, he looked up at me and said, Alright, now, what is your name, son?  I told him, Johnny.  Uh, Johnny  Then he cut me off, saying, Ah, dont bother, Ive only got one Johnny on file here, while staring at his computer monitor.  Lets see hereno criminal recordno, nothing here at all.  Ive got nothing on youat least according to the computer.  His forehead wrinkled and he said, Now, what the heck were you doing on the city streets alone at midnight?  So I began: Wellit all started when I tripped over this hobos cane and the hobo got really really mad and he said that hed give me a hundred bucks if I could answer this question but I didnt know the answer to this question so I went up to this old lady on a park bench and asked her this question but then she got really really mad and started whacking me with her cane and so I ran home crying where my mom met me at the front door and I asked her my question and she got really really mad and kicked me out of my own house and sent me to school and when the bell rang at school the teacher called me up and wanted to talk with me so I explained what happened and then eventually told him the question and he got really really mad and started whacking me with his yardstick so I ran out of the classroom and he sent me to the principals office and so then I talked with the principal and told him the question and he got really really mad and threw a mug at me but he missed as he yelled at me that I was expelled so I ran out of the door and out of the hallway and finally out of the school and so I had to wander about on the streets because  couldnt go home and I couldnt go to school and so a police officer approached me and he told me that he would drive me home but instead when I asked him the question he got really really mad and started beating me with his nightstick and he drove me over to this police stationand now, Im here.  After hearing my troubled tale, he just smiled and said, Well, then, I would like to release you, my boy.  A young child such as yourself should be home at this hour.  Ill make sure to talk with your parents over this.  But, somehow, I feel like youre hiding something from me.  Why didnt you tell me what the question was?  So I quickly said what the question was, and suddenly he got really really mad as I began to say Not again  He was slamming his desk with his hands, causing papers to fly all over the place.  And he chucked a pair of handcuffs at me and yelled at me to put them on immediately.  So I did.  Then the next demand shot at me was to get out of his office before he took out his gun.  That got me springing to action immediately, and I jumped up and ran away with the handcuffs on before something worse could happen.

Chapter 6
Apparently, the city police were charging me for something, but when I asked what it was for, they told me that it was something that I wouldnt be able to understand.  I just played along for now, but they did say that I had the right to hire a lawyer to defend myself when my case would be presented to court.  Actually, they released me to go find a lawyer because none of the lawyers I called would believe anything I said about my case.  After all, who would believe an 8-year-old boy like me trying to search for a lawyer by myself?  So I finally found a lawyer in the local pages that would support my cause.  I caught a ride from a taxi driver who was nice enough to let me off without paying him the sufficient amount that he was owed for the distance driven.  I thanked him as he muttered Yea sure kid.  And then he took off.  I guess I would have to find another way back to the police station.  I stepped into a very clean and refined office.  The only person inside was apparently the lawyer himself.  But just in case I was wrong, I asked if I could see the lawyer.  The man stood up out of his chair and said, Who are you kid?  I said, Im looking for someone wholl represent me in court.  He stared me down and I shuddered slightly, somewhat intimidated by his piercing expression.  Finally, he said, Well, do you have a case?  I responded with a semi-confident Yes as I then began to explain, Wellit all started when I tripped over this hobos cane and the hobo got really really mad and he said that hed give me a hundred bucks if I could answer this question but I didnt know the answer to this question so I went up to this old lady on a park bench and asked her this question but then she got really really mad and started whacking me with her cane and so I ran home crying where my mom met me at the front door and I asked her my question and she got really really mad and kicked me out of my own house and sent me to school and when the bell rang at school the teacher called me up and wanted to talk with me so I explained what happened and then eventually told him the question and he got really really mad and started whacking me with his yardstick so I ran out of the classroom and he sent me to the principals office and so then I talked with the principal and told him the question and he got really really mad and threw a mug at me but he missed as he yelled at me that I was expelled so I ran out of the door and out of the hallway and finally out of the school and so I had to wander about on the streets because  couldnt go home and I couldnt go to school and so a police officer approached me and he told me that he would drive me home but instead when I asked him the question he got really really mad and started beating me with his nightstick and he drove me over to this police station where I was interrogated by the chief of police who at first claimed that he had nothing against me until suddenly right after I asked him the question he got really really mad and nearly pulled his gun out on me before I ran out with the pair of handcuffs that he chucked at me so then I was told that I could find a lawyer since nobody would believe me on the phone so they released me and a took a taxi to your officeand now, Im here.  After my long and grueling tale, the lawyer stood up and grinned, saying My boy, I believe weve got a really good case by your testimony.  Everyone: your mom, the teacher, the principal, the policeman, and even the chief, are all unjustified in their actions.  They couldnt possibly take such action legally upon a minor with only a question!  Boy is this whole predicament just a big joke!  He then began to laugh heartily, while I also began to chuckle lightly.  But something was holding me back, like, a negative feeling of impending doomwhen the lawyer recovered from his laughing episode and said, But really, what was the question that you asked these people?  And then, I began to rationalize in my head: should I really tell this guy the question?  I knew hed probably going to explode in rage just like everyone else did, and yet I still dont know why.  But then again, what case will I have if the lawyer doesnt know the question?  And, I really did need the help from him, as I doubted my ability to defend myself in court.  Therefore I reluctantly told him the question.  Ive never seen a smile wiped off of someones face so fast.  He then got really really mad with what I had just said, he grabbed the bottom of his desk and flipped it over towards me as I began to run out of the office.  I heard the manic voice of the lawyer, screaming at me to get out of his office and that he was going to make a case against him in court if I didnt.  I heard several other obscenities being yelled at me, but by that time I was way out of his reach.  Unfortunately, I was suddenly being pursued by several policemen who easily caught up to me and grabbed me by the arms, hauling me back to the police station, where I would wait in an isolated room until I was escorted to the local courtroom to be tried as a criminal.

Chapter 7

When the day finally came for my trial, they had me sit down for a while on a chair off on one side of the room.  So then when the judge entered, I was very clueless to what was going on, as the procedures were never explained to me.  So I sat there for several minutes listening to legal talk that I could not comprehend at all, until finally they called my name and told me to stand up.  The judge, a white-haired man with several somewhat frightening facial features, glared at me for a few seconds.  Then finally, he said, Well, indeed this is an odd case.  I dont believe Ive ever had an eight-year-old boy attempting to defend himself alone in court.  Nevertheless, he said straightening his glasses, you still must present your testimony to the courtroom.  I sat there confused as to what the word testimony meant.  So after a short period of silence, I inquired, Um, sir?  You shall address me as your honor, Johnny, replied the judge, as I then quickly corrected myself by continuing, Oh, I mean, your honor, uh, whats a testimony?  He then replied very officially defining it as a personal account of what you saw to have occurred under the specific premises.  I hardly understood what he said there, but I did understand what a personal account meant, so I hesitantly began to speak: Wellit all started when I tripped over this hobos cane and the hobo got really really mad and he said that hed give me a hundred bucks if I could answer this question but I didnt know the answer to this question so I went up to this old lady on a park bench and asked her this question but then she got really really mad and started whacking me with her cane and so I ran home crying where my mom met me at the front door and I asked her my question and she got really really mad and kicked me out of my own house and sent me to school and when the bell rang at school the teacher called me up and wanted to talk with me so I explained what happened and then eventually told him the question and he got really really mad and started whacking me with his yardstick so I ran out of the classroom and he sent me to the principals office and so then I talked with the principal and told him the question and he got really really mad and threw a mug at me but he missed as he yelled at me that I was expelled so I ran out of the door and out of the hallway and finally out of the school and so I had to wander about on the streets because  couldnt go home and I couldnt go to school and so a police officer approached me and he told me that he would drive me home but instead when I asked him the question he got really really mad and started beating me with his nightstick and he drove me over to this police station where I was interrogated by the chief of police who at first claimed that he had nothing against me until suddenly right after I asked him the question he got really really mad and nearly pulled his gun out on me before I ran out with the pair of handcuffs that he chucked at me so then I was told that I could find a lawyer since nobody would believe me on the phone so they released me and a took a taxi to a lawyers office although when I presented my case to him he felt convinced that I had it won but then when I told him the question he got really really mad and flipped over his whole desk at me before I ran out of his office but then the police still captured me during that whole episode so then I was brought back to the police station to stay until my hearingand now, Im here.  The judge leaned back in his seat and stared contemplatively into space.  Finally, after a moment of silence he said, Yes, indeed I find that your fate seems connected to this question that you have spoken to so many people.  This question has carried you insofar through such horrendous circumstances that it must be universally offensive to all victims to have heard it  Unfortunately, I couldnt take much more of this rambling, and I very soon began to zone out again like I did before I gave my testernomy or whatever it was.  Although, finally a question did come through to me as he continued his vocal analysis of what I had said: so what is this question that shall determine your sentence?  Then, I noticed the seriousness of my situation right then.  But yet, I once again was cornered and had no choice but to state the question I had been asking people up until this point.  Very reluctantly, I said what I had been saying with bitter consequences for days now.  Then, the judge suddenly just froze.  His expression was neutral, although I could see that he was definitely tense and his hands were shaking over his desk.  I could definitely see that he was about to explode somehow, so I slowly began to retreat backwards.  And then suddenly, his expression cracked and he suddenly became really really mad as he slammed his gavel into the desk so hard that it smashed a circular hole clean through the wood.  His red face screamed, YOUR GOIN TO JAIL, 'M BOY!!!!! as I impulsively started to run away.  But unfortunately, the bailiff along with a mob of angry viewers pulled me away.  From then on, my fate was sealed: Id be in jail for life.  What could possibly happen after that, I dare not guess.

To be continued...for the surprise ending and what the question was, ask me...

Special Thanks to conquistadorofthelexicon for the original concept.