Yup another year has passed and on Monday Its vacation time and back off to Michigan! The running joke is that some disaster seems to happen every time I go down, first year there was a freak snow storm, second year had an odd moment in apple bee's involving liquor and Bill Cosby (no I'm not gonna explain..) and last year the most horrible one yet which I have blogged about and so I will not relive it here... so it has already been said that the only way for me to top myself this year is to just... die lol So if my growing bad luck does come in fours this just may be my last vacation ever! Joking aside I'm hopping for no big hiccups this year but we can only see. I have no idea what is planned this year but I normally never do lol but its gonna be a blast no matter what! If anything REALLY interesting happens that we survive heh I will be sure to blog about it here and for now.... LET THE ADVENTURE BEGIN!!

    The story of how I came up for this blog is kinda interesting and very sad. My cable channel has a bunch of music channels that play all different genres of music and one of my faves plays scores from movies and I had it on and the score for Silver Bullet came on and eventually It got me thinking about one of my favorite type of horror films, the one's staring heroic kids. Now I mean REAL horror movies and not the whimsical kiddy movies like Monster Squad. Yes there are been a few real horror films whose hero was a kiddy and most of them are very good for some reason. For one thing in a genre filled with 1000000 female heroes that its kind of fun when its a smart resourceful kid coming up against a monster/killer and usually they always turn out to the most memorable heroes. There is just something fun about seeing a kid star in a serious horror film especially since it does not happen to often, the list really is pretty small. Here is a small list of some of my favorites.

 

 

Phantasm

 

Of course this is in here! This one stars one brave and resourcefully kid who can explore dark mausoleums by himself at night and use a gunshot shell and hammer to get out of a locked room! Honestly this kid was a good actor and very convincing and not too long into the movie you find yourself rooting for the little guy.

 

 

 

The Gate:

 

Steven Dourif would soon grow up to be Blade's arch nemeses in of course Blade but most horror vets know him most fondly as the plucky heroic kid who saves the world from demons that come up from hell through a hole in his background with a toy rocket, no I did not just make that up....and yes it was a serious horror film.

 

 

Silver Bullet:

 

This one is special because not only is the hero a resourceful kid but he is a crippled wheel chair bound resourceful kids! See now only can kids kick monster ass but the disabled ones can as well! Also one of my favorite horror scenes ever is here where the kid narrowly gets away from a werewolf by.... shooting it in the eye with a bottle rocket. Oh and also more notable things is that Gary Busy plays the dream uncle that every kid wishes they had and that the kids wheelchair is the coolest friggin wheelchair... ever.

 

 

Child's play

 

Ah the first movie I ever watched by myself in a theater.... I absolutely loved it. The scene in the movie were the locked up Andy starts whining and screaming because he sees chuckly out his window and knows he is coming is done so well by the little actor that its just so convincing and unexpectedly heart wrenching. We have all had the MUST have toy that we really wanted as a kid so the story of a kid getting that toy and having it become his biggest nightmare ever is something everyone can get into.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not too long ago I held a vote for the a few categories of subjects I should blog about and I did do a few but kinda gotten off track a tad so I decided to do another one from the list and this one is it.

 

 

So what is this trend I have noticed? Realism, yes you would think this was a good thing but there is something that bothers me and I will tell you what. The biggest victim of this is Batman, now do not get me wrong I loved Dark Knight just like every one else did but there is something that highly disturbs me. This is batman for crying out loud there should be a bit of fantasy here but all of these almost is taken out and what bothers me is the comics and even current ones still have a lot of this. If this series keeps going like it is there is no way we are gonna see villains such as clay face (some one fans have been screaming for on the big screen for a while now) and there will no immortals or aliens or supernatural hit men which have ALL been featured in the comic books. Come on people this is BATMAN not gone with the wind! People yell how its the most faithful adaptation to the comics but no, a lot of the mythos and "fantastic" elements are taking out. You know what? I want to see people mutated into monster bats, I want to see blimps floating over the city ready to pump deadly gas that make people laugh to death, this is BATMAN damn it. Yes I loved Heath Ledger's Joker but I admit when people say he out did Jack Nicholson I roll my eyes. I remember when Burton's batman came out just about every one raved about his performance and now... well it just shows how fickle the mainstream audience are. I think Both Jokers are great in their own way and were perfect for the movie they were in but if I had to choose.... I would choose Jack's because he was stuck right in between campy comic book and darkknight and to me was closer to the REAL joker. Sorry guys but in the comics joker had killer hand buzzers and acid squirting flowers and all other stuff such as this and this is the kind of stuff I wanna see.

    Batman is not the only franchise that got his with this, only one that got hit was James Bond.

 

Have you seen the last two films? Gone are the really over the top stuff that was even in the connery movies. Damn it I wanna see hollowed out volcano hide outs, tricked out super cars, funky gimmicky super villains and they even removed the Q character WTF? Now I admit Quantum was better then Casino and was more light and fun but still held on to the more realistic feel casino. This just makes me miss Roger Moore even more and I'm sorry but I would rather see a plot that has a madman trying to flood an entire city instead of just some guy hoarding water so that he can corner the water market in a small country.... yawn.

 

It just seems to be that the idea is if the movies are "smarter" then you are intelligent for watching them. Why the hell do people have to worry about "what movies say about them" and just watch what they enjoy? What's wrong with entertainment? Why are we having the movies we watch show as a symbol of who we are? WHAT THE HELL? Sorry but I prefer the older Bond films and if that makes me a dumb ass then so be it.

 

This trend has creeped out into other movies as well but I think Bond and Batman are the biggest victims so far. Can you imagine if these continues in other series? Star Trek? a space shuttle exploring space with every one in white space suits and no "beam me up"? Or how about Indiana Jones? Very little action and more uncovering facts about a statue? Die Hard? Instead of one man fighting 20 terrorist there is an entire army fighting them all and are just being given  helpful tips if information by John Mclane? GAH MAKE IT STOP!

 

 

The worse thing is that These new Batman and Bond films were HUGE hits and so what I just described may not be so far fetched, this is bound just to get even worse. Hell we have already had zombie films were the zombies are not "real zombies" but just people driven insane from a virus so the  "more realistic is better' idea has already deep rooted itself in popular culture and this just scares me....

Howdy folks! Since its getting close to October again I decided I would make a list of a bunch of films that I love to watch around Halloween time due to the fact that I consider them perfect for this time of year. Now keep in mind that I have chosen these films because something about them either reminds me of Halloween or just strikes me as being perfect for it so they are the films I try to watch every year or at least some of them . Some of the movies are set during Halloween yes but they do not have to be to be on the list, There are several reasons why I am always be reminded of them during this time of year, could be the look of the artwork on the box or even the poster or something about the film.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Halloween series

 

Well this was pretty obvious and I decided to go with it first so I could get it out of the way cause its strikes me as boring being on this list, why? Well because these movies are on everyone's Halloween list and they are so well known and beloved there is nothing I could say about them that you did not already know. Though I would like to point out that Halloween three REALLY strikes me as a movie to watch during the holiday due to the fact that it features killer Halloween masks and about a sinister force using the holiday to kill MANY people which is always fun....

 

 

 

Bats

 

Yes killer bats and do not roll your eyes at me! This movie was no genius work of art no but it was fun and I loved how it turned the basic horror cliches on their asses and even avoided the most tired ones. I loved the "surprise" ending with a last surviving bat busting from the ground singling off possible sequels but instead of the credits.... ah bad luck the bat popped up in the road right in front of the wheels of the hero's car as they are driving into the sunset...... I find this very clever and highly hysterical. Oh and I also love how instead of using the typical "lets blow up their nest with a giant explosion while we run from a giant fire ball nearly escaping" they actually come up with a different way to wipe out the bats by freezing the nest instead. This movie knew the genre way and played with it nicely yet for some reason I am the only one who seemed to realize this. Yeah I always associate bats with Halloween so the connection is a no brainer plus the poster is so pretty full of the Halloween colors black and orange it could double as a Halloween decoration.

 

 

Blair Witch Project

 

  I love this movie and any one who knows me well knows very well how much I love this movie. Yes its set during Halloween but once in the woods and they are stuck being stalked by a unknown sinister force its just seems like the perfect ultimate night of horror... of course something like this is gonna happen during Halloween! Maybe they should of done their documentary during Easter, no self respecting witch would come out during that time of the year....yes after all these years I'm still defending this movies, all you haters can bite me!

 

 

 

Pumpkin head

 

 

One of the best monster movies ever, I love that for some odd reason the creature seems to be followed around by Halloween style strobe lights and soundtrack because every where he shows up is instantly filled with flashing light and scary wind and night sounds.... awesome. Oh and did I mention that he comes from a creep old pumpkin patch and there is a witch involved?

 

 

 

Trick or Treat

 

Yes the 80's trick or treat and is probably the best of the rock n roll horror entries though that is not saying very much but it is a tad fun and how could you not grin by the idea of a dead rock star coming back to life to destroy the town that rejected him having a concert at their school during Halloween night? Any one who does not is a prude snob.... end of story.

 

 

 

Catseye

 

 

This movie is so bizarre and different, its the tale of a heroic cat who becomes "chosen" to protect a little girl from an evil troll living in the walls of her house and the movie is split up into several short stories seen from the eyes of the cat while its trying to make its way to the little girl. Honestly we need more movies with heroic cats fighting monsters. This is one of my favorite Stephen King movies ever.

It really sucks that he has kinda fallen into a predictable hole spewing out typical stuff over and over rereading ideas he has already tinkered with.

 

 

 

Hocus Pocus

 

Yes its not a horror film but I never said they had to be horror films did I? I consider this to be a highly underrated fun little family film. The three actresses playing the witches are PERFECT and hysterical. I love Bette Middler in this movie. I remember being teased by people I knew in high school for going to see this movie, ah screw em they dunno what they missed besides they re the same people who gave me hell for loving Army of Darkness....... nuff said.

 

 

 

 

Night of the Demons

 

Typical slasher film with demons set in a spooky haunted mansion with horny teens being haunted down killed and turned into demons, loaded with nudity. I dunno why this movie still manages to be memorable and fun in its own bad little way its something that always stumped me. I would not call this a guilty pleasure since I do not believe in that term its just a typical low rent horror film that managed to capture a spirit and style all its own that actually manages to entertain. Besides,evil crabby old men who put razor blades into Halloween apples for little children getting a taste of their own medicine is always awesome.

 

 

Aracnaphobia

 

During Halloween you need some king of creepy crawly movie and this one is one of my favorites. I love the characters and the small town it is set in and this movie somehow many small killer spiders fun and exciting. I know there are LOADS of people who still say Kingdom of the Spiders ( William Shatner I salute you!) is the best killer spider movie ever but for me this one is my pick.

 

 

 

Saw series

 

 

The saw series kind of forcibly rammed itself into being associated with this time of year with having EVERY sequel come out during Halloween but it worked because I must admit the first time we go through a Halloween without a new saw movie I will probably feel like something is missing, I know the series has gotten majorly implausible and silly as it went along but it still manages to be fun from time to time and I admit that Jig Saw is one of the most interesting and unique horror villains to come around in recent years.

 

 

Jeepers Creepers

 

Ah another movie hated by a mass majority of "hardcore" horror fans. One of the main reasons I like it so much is that it feels exactly like a camp fire folk tale/urban legend type thing. Its whimsical and dark and yes while the two teens can be annoying and stupid and times the creature was one of my favorite imaginings of the boogy man that I had seen in a long time.

 

 

Nightmare Before Christmas

 

Yet another no brainer, I really do not need to explain why this one belongs on the list I think

 

 

Phantasm series

 

My favorite horror series of all time and so its getting on this list just on principle. Though in my defense this is a movie about a sinister mortician digging up graves and turning dead bodies into zombie midget slaves. What else do you possibly need to be halloweeny? Have jackolantern faces painted in the flying killer spheres?

 

 

 

Monster Squad

 

A group of lovable 80's kids team up to stop Dracula, wolf man, mummy, Frankenstein and the creature from the black lagoon from taking over the world makes this one a much watch for Halloween especially since its family friendly enough for the kids to enjoy as well, get a coffee table full of sweets and yummies, pop in the DVD and the entire family can have a silly good time.

 

 

 

 

 

Night Of the Creeps

 

Slugs from outer space turns dead bodies into the walking dead, sound familiar? Well this movie came out AGES before Slither and is much more fun mainly because it has the whole 80's goofy ness/charm working for it and did I mention that it features alien midgets with lazar guns? Sweet.

 

 

 

Ok I know there are a TON more I could add to this list but these are the ones I could remember at the time of witting this and I wanna stop now so I can go pass out somewhere and so I will end this list for now and may add more later.

 

 

 

 

Halloween 2: First off let me say that I am not one of those Rob Zombie haters that say he should of never started making movies, I really liked his first two film House of 1000 Corpses and especially Devil's Rejects. I did not hate his first Halloween remake though I was a tad disappointed and  I marked it down as just being "ok" though this is not a review of the first so I will not go into details on why but instead explain why I highly disliked this one, yes you heard me right. I am a big fan of the first two Halloween films and its no secret to all who knows me that I prefer them to the remakes. I love how in the original sequel that it went on to add to the story by revealing the sister connection and that he wanted to wipe out his sisters for some reason but not explaining anything else. Its all left a mystery as why and his not being able to die is left alone, there something supernatural going on? Is he possessed? Or is he just a very strong madman? This is left to us to answer but Zombie's Halloween tries to humanize him and explain him and removes all the mystery and supernatural implications. My favorite part of the film is the beginning at the hospital, these scenes just great, they were actually even better, more suspenseful and fun then most of the original. It was like a giant homage to the second as well as the slasher genre in general as Michael used a verity of weapons from a knife to a axe. Sadly this is just the beginning and as soon as the sequence ends the movie just went down hill for me. Once again Michael is the big strong killer that instead of staying in the shadows stalking his prey and striking without notice quietly he rampages and breaks things and really suddenly is not much different from Jason. Also here from most of the kills he uses his bare hands which upset the old school horror fan in me, to me Myers is not a big brute that just uses extreme force to kill, I'll take Carpenter's take on the shape over this one any ole day.

       Now the ranting is really going to start, now its time to talk about Dr Loomis. I am a HUGE fan of both Donald Pleasance and the character and I know the character of Dr Loomis very well. He has always been one of my favorite horror movie heroes which is a big thing because the horror genre does not have too many memorable good guys, its usually always about the monster. The original Loomis was very tragic and heroic, he let his obsession with Myers get the best of him and burnt out and it pretty much ruined his life and career. However he as always there to engage his mortal enemy and save the lead stalkee right at the nick of time. I remember watching the original movies and You always felt that he would eventually be there to help and actually felt if Lore or whoever it he is obsessed with killing at the time (this changes with each sequel after part two) could managed to find Loomis before Myers got them they would be fine. He was always there to save the day at the last minute and shot Myers off a balcony or sacrifice himself and blow them both to ribbons. Here however his character goes in a whole other direction... actually I'm just gonna drop what I was about to write and say what I really think, his character just gets raped. He is not the burnt out seemingly nutty Dr obsessed with myers. no he has written a book and gotten rich and famous and has turned into a huge egotistical ass wad WTF? There was actually a moment in the film that Dr Loomis actually looses his cool and becomes pissed when some one suggests that Myers is alive and screams out "myers is dead!".

The original Loomis would NEVER say this, if the body had vanished and never found he would be on the forefront warning people that he is still out there and trying to convince every one that haddonfield is still in danger. What they did to the character of Dr Loomis is what pisses me off the most about this film. I highly respect Malcolm McDowell and think he is a great actor and was actually happy when I first heard he was playing Loomis and I thought he did a fine job in the first remake and acting wise he does a fine job pulling off the Dr Loomis presented on the script but this is not MY Dr Loomis. Near the end of the movie during one scene he sees himself on a talk show and suddenly realizes what he has become and utters the words "I'm an ass hole" this is supposed to be when he wakes up and returns back to the heroic Loomis who just wants to stop years for good but it seems forced and just does not work and when he does show up he does absolutely nothing to help in the situation but get himself killed. I think Donald Pleasance has just done a summersault in his coffin.

       There are some things I liked, such as Brad Doriff as the sheriff, I loved his performance and thought the character was really memorable and likable more so then most of the other sheriffs in the series. Also the whole subplot with them seeing hallucinations of Myers mother just seemed like an excuse to get Rob's wife not only back into the series but even more screen time and really did not work for me either. Bottom line this is the first Rob Zombie film I have truly disliked, I still think he is a great director and will see what he does just that I do not share his vision of the Halloween series, ah well that's what I have my copies of the originals for.

 

 

Final Destination 4:

 

Every one who is a fan of this series knows that this is a very formal series and follows the formula religiously and that is really is just about all the colorful and creative kills. This installment seems to realize this and I pretty much got this assumption during the opening credits where it redoes all the more memorable deaths from the first three movies in ex ray vision. What also makes it obvious that it spends more time getting to the kills and less time on mythos and just jumps into it with the two main character conveniently using Google to realize what's going on. Yeah most of the mystery and development is gone and the movie just goes right for the mayhem. This does make it seem a tad more fun but also makes it seem more shallow and empty then the others. Also as much as I enjoyed this sequel it still did not top part two for me which I still think had the best, most creative and sometimes just plain hysterical deaths. Though there are a lot great moments here and the opening disaster is so much better then the lackluster roller coaster wreck in the third film. The part where this movie shines most is the 3D, this is one of the most fun horror 3D films I have seen and I urge anyone who likes the Destination films to catch it at the theaters in 3D for I am sure it will lost some of its charm and fun without the 3d. They pull off the 3D perfectly with plenty of sharp things flying at the screen and you really have not seen a funny and gory final destination death scene until you have seen one done in 3d. Is this a great move? No but did I like it? Yes. Its not even the best sequel but it was better then the 3rd and is a good fun time for all who enjoy the series.

First off let me say that I have ever read any of the books from the series Twilight is from and from the very beginning I had very little interest in seeing the film. I was a tad interested cause well it was about vampires and I'm always up for another fun vamp outing but it was not the idea that its source material was a huge hit among teen girls and was about a love story but the couple of first trailers for this were god awful. They were boring and dull and I could not tell if it was really about vampires or werewolves or if the kid just had super powers. Yeah later on the much larger trailers came along and were a tad better but those first ones alone with the love story premise had very little affect on me. Now I'm not one of those elitists who instantly opposed this movie cause it was beloved by teenage girls and was rumored to be heavy emo flavored. I can pretty much give any movie a chance and of course wanted to see what the big deal was about.

 

     So I finally sat down and watched twilight and not only was it not totally forgettable and boring as I was afraid but I actually liked it a lot more then I ever expected. Why, you may ask? Well maybe its because I have been around the block and seen a LOT of vampire flicks. When I first heard the premise and story on this thing I instantly KNEW certain things that would happen and the cliches to expect cause like I said I have seen a ton of these. now remember I have not read any of the books so I came in thinking that his family would probably be split down the middle and have some who highly disagreed with the new girl who would go renegade and try to take her from the picture and that there would be a "law" that no woman can know about them and be brought into their world and the whole thing with him being in love with her would be a HUGE taboo and shame on the family, among other basic scenarios. Well first off a lot of the things I was expecting never happened and her family turned out to be friggin sweet hearts (yes I know that probably changes in the other books but this whole rant is just about the first film and first film alone, I'm reviewing this as a stand alone movie by itself and stuff). What I liked is the writer behind the whole thing pretty much managed to avoid a lot of the typical formulas and cliches. Yeah you bet there are still a few to be found here and there but while in reality I know the whole thing is not original it still seemed kinda fresh even to a guy like me that has seen 1000000000 vampire flicks.

    Another thing that impressed me is that it takes the whole vampire thing and actually thinks about it, what would vampires really do for fun? What would they think? and so on, and I love how the family behind closed doors seem just like a typical family and besides them being pale, watching the movie you would never know they were vampires without being told. Anyway getting back to the idea of thinking about being a vampire, this movie makes a basic statement that I A: Never even thought of before and B:is so friggin obvious that I was surprised that me or any other movie had ever even thought about it. The statement is, when you a vampire normal and every day things such as a typical game of Baseball  can be 10000000 plus more fun and interesting. I am have no interest in sports what so ever and never have but even this movie had me thinking "oh yeah if I was a vampire I would be a real sports fanatic!" cause there is a scene with vampires playing baseballs and well its the most fun and exciting and off the wall game of baseball I have ever seen. Why? Cause vampires can move at lightening speeds and hit balls further then any mortal can so a whole game of nothing of vampires speeding through the forest after a bal into a rocket as other vampires speed through the bases at lightening speed would indeed be a blast. Why the hell has nobody thought of this? Of course vampires playing baseball is gonna be 100 times more exciting and interesting then if humans where playing it, hell ANY sport would be, Imagine nothing but vampires playing a friendly game of dodge ball.....holy shit! That would be worth a few thousand bucks just to see! So while I was already kinda digging it till the baseball outing it wasn't till this particular scene that I was sold on this movie and I realized that hey I really liked this thing. I hope there is a football game in the second one...

      Now of course there has gotta some kind of conflict in the film and as it turns out something is killing people around the area and at first you do not see the killers leaving the impression that some of the family members were not keeping to their strict diet and were secretly stepping out for some tasty take out but once again I was wrong, it turns out that there are three rogue vampires who are just happening to be traveling through the area. So here we have three evil vampires and the first time we see them in full person they are mocking their victim who at the time was trying to take off in a boat and so I thought ah now we have arrived at my area of expertise! and sure enough during that same baseball game when the bad vampires invade and discover there is a human in their mists and decide to hunt her with the good vampires rallying for her protection I was pretty sure I knew where we were headed, with a climax of all three trying to break into a barricaded building with many fights which would end in the three vampires getting whacked one at a time heh yay Lost Boys time! Once again I was wrong, as it turns out one of the vampires is obsessed with hunting and killing as was expected but the one who seemed to be the leader of the group turns out to have had enough of the guys over the top evil ways as well and turns up at the families house to warn them and yeah at first I too thought it had to be a trap but no. The female vampire just vanishes and turns her back to the whole thing and at the end its only the one guy they have to deal with.  yeah there is a little vampire battle but nothing spectacular since the movie is more interested in the relationship between the two then the action. Even in the climax tries to switch to suspense to where the young lover has to fight his raging blood lust to save his beloved with the bad guy being mutilated off screen.

     Oh that is something else I wanna mention, here like a lot of the rest a bite can turn you into a vampire and like a LOT when a vampire drinks he breaks into a blood frenzy. Here in this movie the blood frenzy is so intense that only a very few can build up enough inner strength and restraint not to bleed the victim dry and so a vampire turning a human is VERY rare but can be done, Yeah this is not 100% original but fresh enough to keep me satisfied and then that takes us to the sun. The vampires live in this certain area cause most of the time sun is blocked by mists and such but the sun does not turn them into crispy critters but the reason they stay out of it is that it reveals them to be very different. How? Do they look like horrible monsters? or old men? No their skin gets very sparkly as if diamonds were under their skin of course. This is kinda where a warning sign came up for me cause I knew the hard core blood and guts crowed where already against this movie due to the teen angst and emo stuff but now we have sparkly people.... great this movie is gonna be eaten alive. Yeah I have to say that is original but for good reason, most respectful vampire movies would not dare have sparkly vampires but hey if I think of it this way, wouldn't it be worse to be overpowered and killed by glowing sparkly shinny people then a typical vampire? I can just see getting to the afterlife and someone asking you how you expired and you going "errr well... I err... I tripped and fell out a window like a dumb ass... yeah that's what happened.." at least dying by a monstrous bat creature is leaves ya with some dignity...

 

    So did I enjoy this? Of course I did and would I recommend it? Yes and no. I probably would not recommend it to the typical horror fanatic wanting to see bloodshed and mayhem but I do think people who are just fascinated by vampires alone and not necessarily horror fans would dig this a lot so yeah to the vampire aficionados out there I would recommend it. This movie actually tries to play with the vampire mythology instead of fall into lazy formula and I must give it kudos to that but yeah after saying that I preferred the Lostboys way with lots of vampire death and action but not every movie needs to be that way. I like variety in my flicks. I liked it but would not put it in my top ten list or even close BUT that baseball scene would fit into my top ten vampire movie scenes of all time though.... PLAY BALL!

   

Ok well the voting thing worked out about as well as I figured it would which means every vote was pretty much for a different topic and there was no clear "winner" so I will just start from the top post and work my way down :D

 

   Sometime movie studios are so desperate to get a franchise out of something that they know has a big following that sometimes they will just keep trying even after commercial failure. I actually was surprised about Punisher: War Games when I first heard about it. The film before it with Thomas Jane though not a really bad film did not kick much ass in the box-office and so I was not so surprised that there was another one coming as I was that it was not getting the direct to video treatment and had  a rather decent budget. Again most of you know about the Thomas Jane film before War Zone but how many of you know about the 1989 Punisher film staring Dolph Lundgren? For those of you that do ya just got extra cool points in my book heh congrats.

 

I am gonna give a brief review/overview of the three films and so if you do not like spoilers you may want to beware.

 

First I will do the Thomas Jane outing. Many comic book fans loved this one cause it corrected MANY mistakes the dolph Lundgren version made and was a lot more faithfully to the comic book series. Here not only does he have his famed skull shirt but we are shown where it came to be and why he wears it. To me the film was not that bad yet not friggin awesome either, I pretty much walked out the theater thinking it was just ok. This one has less of the "I dedicate my life to punish evil!" that the others do and more death wish like revenge stuff. I know this does make sense do to this film showing the "beginning" and how he would eventually become the lost soul we all know and love but it does create a problem for me and I will get to that later. Thomas Jane does a good job as the brooding Frank castle but then again he usually always does a bang up job. The action here is pretty good and well done yet surprisingly held back in favor of Franks stalking and planning and scheming and I just wanna add that the Punisher I know actually tortures people for REAL, yes I know the guy in this film is not really a REAL criminal and that Frank had not gone into full Punisher mode yet but he never really does cept for maybe the very end. All the way through we are watching him slowly become the hollow shell of a man who has just gave up on EVERYTHING and cares about nothing and who thinks the only way he can make the world a better place is by killing those who deserves it in his eyes.

     Here was my biggest problem, so in the middle of him becoming the man I just described he meets a babe who is obviously into him and on top of that he gets his justice and revenge and the door is wide open for him to rejoin the human race and live a normal life but he turns his back on it like we know he would but the thing here is I just could not buy it. Thomas Janes performance had not gone to the totally hopelessness I died when my family died mode that Dolph and Ray Stevenson's version of Frank did and so after seeing him get his revenge and meeting up with a beautiful woman ready to settle down with and "start over" when we see him on the bridge at the very end deciding that instead he is just gonna stop living and kill bad guys and live in a sewer for the rest of his life its just not believable or at least I did not buy it.

Oh and I wanna mention John Travolta who supplies the villainy in this one, I was pretty much just ok and not too memorable the first half although I do think he picked up and got a little more fun interesting the second half when he starts to lose it throwing his wife in front of a train and stuff. I also was a little disappointed that the there was not much of a climactic showdown between the two at the end, it was pretty dull and unexcited and yes I know that Travolta's character was not a fighter and just make a believable challenge to Jane in a fight but hell he was a criminal mastermind, he could have had something to give him a slight upper hand at the end. There are MANY climaxes where villain who poses no threat physically still makes things very hard for the hero cause he uses his skills or traits that are a threat, like his intelligence, or cunning or just sheer insanity, or vast resources. I just be live that the final encounter with the head baddie should have some kind of suspense or at least excitement and here we get a very small stand-off but I will say that Travolta's death was pretty well done heh.

 

    Now for the newest Punisher, I have not read many fan reviews so I do not really know but I imagine this is the one the fans embraced. Why? Well because its the most faithfull and rip actual images and scenes right out of the comic books, heck even Castles sewer lair looks exactly like it does in the comics. The film also embraces the over the top violence and gore of the comics too, this one goes for the throat and tries to be what its meant to be without making any apologies. What I liked the most is that this one even felt like a comic book movie were the others didn't and this one even has a traditional type comic book villain named Jigsaw but then again I guess that's a no brainer since he is an actual bad guy from the comic books and that is something else this does, takes much more actual comic book characters and stick em into the film well there are changes of course yes I know Jigsaw's brother was not a character from the comics but man what a memorable bad guy he is. I think its safe to say that Ray Stevenson is a tad more believable as the lost soul who turned his back on everything except for killing and hell he even looks just like the comic book version, I saw in my opinion at least Stevenson is probably the most perfect Punisher out of the three. Here he is just brutal, more so then the other two, he is pissed and mean, breaks women's necks, tortures and pretty much as no boundaries where he will not go when it comes to taking out the trash, now THAT is the Punisher! The dark humor here is perfect and thankfully there is not an over abundance of it. I also liked that Jigsaw was an over the top comic bookie villain and I liked that the climax took part in a big old luxury hotel yeah sure it was no hollowed out volcano but it still gave off vibes of the always fun comic bookish /James bondish villains lair. Oh did I say the violence is a tad on cartoony side? he punches a guys face in... yes unrealistic but I always eat that stuff up lol

    Out of the three films this is the only Punisher film where Castle has a physical showdown with the bad guy but really truth to told, jigsaw is no match for the Punisher either. The fight is pretty one sided and he just gets pounded on hard. What actually saves this climax is the first half of the final encounter where Jigsaw decides to play a game and make the Punisher decide who out of his friends dies. See, if you cannot fuck with this physically. fuck with them mentally.  Sadly this one did poorly in the box-office too and I say the chances of seeing more Frank Castle on the big screen at least is VERY slim, its rare to get another big sequel from one flop but I imagine its nearly impossible to get another from two flops in a row.

 

    Here we are now finally to the very First Punisher with Dolph Lunge. Here is a film that all the fans or at least "hardcore" fans of the comics truly despise mainly for the fact that it almost does every thing wrong or at least wrong in the eyes of a fan. There is no skull shirt, almost nothing familiar from the comics is thrown in, instead of a his sweet care he has a bike. There is no dog (though none of the films had the dog). This was also a direct to video effort and lacked the budget of the other two films but to me what it actually gets right really shines. The Frank Castle here is purely dead in the soul, he cares about no one and no body.Out of the three Dolph's frank is the coldest, most uncaring and farthest gone of the three, I really think he is the most believable as an empty shell who just wants to make himself feel better by getting rid of the worlds scum. I trust me I know what you are going to say, of course he is cold and unemotional and seems "empty" its dolph lundgren! well yeah you may be right but it sure does helps a lot when playing a character like the Punisher, almost perfect even. Also one thing I like best about this one is the story. Jane's is pretty much a typical stalk the bad guys and get revenge is ironic ways tale. War zone is pretty much the bad guy building up an army to finally take out the Punisher after establishing himself as the new crime kingpin. here we have the Punisher waging his little war on the mob and suddenly he finds himself in the middle of a huge mob war, It seems that the Yakuza (I know I'm spelling that wrong) has come into town and is playing a hostile take over. Yes there is a big mob boss that Frank is after but the REAL main villain here is the Yakuza leader, I do not remember her name but I definitely remember her. She is beyond evil, cold and such a major bitch. One of the things that works in her favor is that before we meet her we get told a story about her, where in order to keep faith with her organization slits her beloved brothers throat after preparing him his favorite meal and waiting for him to finish it. When it gets to the great scene in the restaurant where she dispatches the biggest part of the mob and then gives the survivor her complimentary "chaser" you know VERY well the story is true and that this bitch is the real thing. Very good villain yet sadly no one remembers the role. but I am not done with the story yet yeah there is more. The yakuza kidnaps all the kids of the mob leaders  and hold them up for ransom which out they get the little lethal meeting set up with them in the restaurant and of course they plan on just selling the children on the slave market. So when the Punisher first hears this problem he intends to do nothing about it, its not his problem but of course in all these movies he always has a sidekick/friend who ends up stirring up the good man still trapped inside by some king of speech or rant and so the Punisher decides to put pause on his crusade and rescue the children and here not only is he just a vigilante but a true hero. Let me remind who this is the spawn of the men he despises and wants to kill yet he still puts everything on the line to save them. Anyway of course all the children are saved except for the main mob boss's son and so the Mob boss makes a deal with Frank to go back and rescue the kid. There is actually a really good story here and manages to bring out many of the emotional sides of the Punisher. Just giving him the option, does he do what he knows what is right or turn his back on it like every thing else? Hell he even has a best friend back when he was a "real" person" who he has to make the same decisions about. Should he save him or say screw him? Plus of course I love the corny end where Crime Boss's son has a gun pointed at the Punisher and he knells to it and pretty much says "go ahead you will be doing me a favor, I do not care" and when the kid does not he tells him not to grow up like his father cause if he does, he will be waiting.

 

So yeah I know why comic book fans hate this one but as a fan of action films in general this one actually is not bad at all and is pretty underrated. Yeah he has no skull shirt but does that REALLY make a movie on its own a bad movie? really? maybe I just more forgiving then most heh who knows.

   Well it has been about a month since my vacation and I have yet talk about any moment of it as of yet so I decided to finally write up my little vacation blog though most of it will focus on one very traumatic moment/disaster. So every year I go visit my best friends Vampy and Maggot and hang out with them and annoy their family. One of the major events of the vacation is our yearly trip to the fall horror convention up there and so far every year it has been me, vampy, maggot and vampy's brother and usually we have a blast.

    I guess I should pause a little to describe the convention for those who have yet to ever go to one, its basically one half of a build filled to the brim with dvds, posters, shirts, action figures and many other kinds of collectable's associated with horror/B movie drive in type films. You can find some amazing things there and yeah some of the prices can be outrageous but its still very possible to find some great deals and amazing items. They show films and other random festivities and of course there are always the special guests celebrities there to sign autographs and talk with fans. This year I met and had my picture taking with Michael Berryman, for those who do not know him he is the crazy manic al looking bald man from the original Hills Have Eyes films and have gone to play in zillions of other assorted B movies during the 80's and up to now. He is a great guy, very warm and friendly and it was great to meet him.Plus how many times to you get the chance to tell the guy in the movie that scared the hell out of you as a kid that he scared the hell out of you?

    Well to some it all up there was some nice things to see there and I got a few neat things yet they seemed not to have as much great stuff as the last two years but ah well there is always next time. Though we did not know it yet but the real adventure would be the long drive home, see it actually took about an hour to get to the convention but the trek back to their homes was I'm guessing about 4 hours long.

Early on our way back we stopped for lunch and ate at popeyes and I unfortunately indulged myself to some ice cream as well. The trip back after that was pretty fun, we were cracking jokes, laughing and just being silly and it was in the midst of it that I noticed I felt odd. I did not feel sick no but odd and before I could know it I felt my past lunch working its way up my throat. Now at this point I was pretty screwed, If I open my mouth to warn them it was gonna spew and so being the  moron that I am I tried to fight it down with very little effect. It came out strong and me in full panic did the first thing I could think off, cram my hands over my mouth. Well all this seemed to do was create a nice water gun squirting like effect in all directions, Its at this time that Maggot who was sitting besides me yells out " OH MY GOD HE IS BLOWING CHUNKS!!" Still in full panic mode I do the only other thing that comes to my head, I open up the window and stick up head out a speeding car going about 70 miles an hour with vomit still violently flowing out of my mouth like a great water fountain, I think its safe to say that the decision did not help matters much. Obviously the two in the front of the car were in full freak out mode at this point and poor vampy who cannot take vomit was already dangerously on the edge of insanity.

      So its safe to say that the car took a nice little rest on the side of the road for a few minutes and then made its way to the nearest rest stop. At this time I tried my best to clean up the car as good as I could cause we still had a long trip to finish, oh and did I mention that the car was a rental? Ah yes the idea was that we would not only travel in comfort this year but in style too but unfortunately its hard to be comfortable when you are covered in chicken skin. Actually by a great stroke of luck no one really got splattered with it except myself, the others almost got away unscathed. Vampy's brother Jerry had one piece of chicken skin on his shoulder and it somehow managed to magically miss Vampy and Maggot, no the real victim was the car. Not only did I get my entire side covered in ark slime along with the whole inside door and window but it was all over the side of the car and we even found some on the other side of the car and in some other odd places. So back to be franticly cleaning the car, they bring out air fresheners and stay at a safe distance while I do my job and the entire time they are cracking wise and  laughing hysterically at me and I cannot say a thing about that cause everyone knows if it had happened to one of them... I would of done the same thing. Even vampy who was on the verge of tears was even laughing, yes I knew that for the rest of my life I would never live down the that moment, the day that Ark's vomit conquered the would. So for the rest of the vacation I had wonderful puke and Popeye chicken jokes to look forward to which is wonderful cause any normal person would probably have me on the next flight back to Missouri at that point. See if you really want to see just how true your friendship is with someone.... just puke on them.

    The next day me and Maggot went out and did a super clean up job on the car as best as we could and did a pretty good job, the rental place did not notice a thing when they returned it. Though those who where there know very well that the car would never truly be the same again...scarred for life. So I have this odd feeling that next year there will be no food stops allowed to  or from the convention,home made sandwiches and chips will be the flavor of the day. See and now that I had scarred Vampy and her loved ones for life... my vacation was complete and so that pretty much covers the great popeyes recycling of 08. I could talk about other moments of the vacation but I would never be able to top what I have already covered and so I will just end it there until next year when its time to blog about my newest vacation blunder.