Sometimes ya just need to get things murky to see them clearly and damn that's what i'm doing right now!

Tonight has been a kick ASS night! lol  I've hung out with Alan and Paul and had a good drink, as I write this i'm almost finished another bottle, so excuse the typos! lol

I appreciate where I am in life and what I have and, yes what I have had.  Let me explain....
Natalie...You are so much more to me than a best friend or sister, you KNOW me...you understand me when I hurt, when I laugh...when we havent seen each other for AGES, we can still meet up and it's like we saw each other yesterday.  I need you in my life more than you'll ever know, I need you more than oxygen - but I know I can't have you to myself like that, you have so many other people that you want to be around.  You know that I need you and you know that I want to see more of you, give me a text at anytime - be it 4am on a Saturday morning - I don't care that i'll be tired at work - I want to be there and I know that you ARE there for me.  We need to hang out so much more lol.

Alan...You are the only guy that has ever taken the time to wait for me...you waited for over a year for me to be ready to be with you and I wish that I could have said yes the first time you asked me to be your girlfriend....you know why I said no the first two times now though, and I hope you don't hurt because it took me so long to say yes.  I love you with every fibre of my being, with every part of myself.  I see you in my dreams at night, and you're the first thing in my head in the morning (not just because you text me at 7am to let me know you're on your way to uni! lol) You make me real.  You make me want.  You make me whole.

Paul....Yes, you're in here!  I'm so glad to have you in my life - mainly because you and Alan make me laugh so frickin' hard it's unbelievable - You've been through a hard time, so fucking hard I wonder if I could have gone through what you have and come out the other side still smiling and laughing.  I know that sometimes I come across as being harsh or something, but I don't mean to - I want to see you happy, I want to see you well and I want to see you succeed, so no matter what happens, never give up!!!!

Mike....From the first time we chatted through faceparty (you sheep-hating cucumber!!!)  we've been mates!  I love you, dude, you bring that kind of 4th dimension to my life when I need it.  I hope that you find what you need and I hope that one of these days - sooner rather than later, we'll hang out in the flesh!

Some things are best left unsaid until everyone that matters feels the same...

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Meet Me In The Dark.

Keep your eyes down, keep your head lowered
Keep to your self dear, do not tell a soul
You know it's wrong what they've been sayin'
And you knew all along that I would have to go

Find the place where light shines on my reflection
A place where I can stand upon my own
Not down on my knees
Until then please

Meet me in the dark
Meet me in the shadows
Past the old graveyard
On Eisenhower road
Meet me where the storms
Blow out on their own dear
Meet me in the dark
Never let me go

I know everyone has their unspoken fear
That eats away their senses and their humanity
They carry all their secrets every night down to the river
And they try so hard to drown them
They wont do that to me

Cause I'm working hard saving all my money
And the tips in this jar will by a brand new set of wings
For my mercury
Until then please

I could never hide this little light of mine
If God made a mistake then I should die before I wake
Maybe it's my fate to swim against this tide
Swallowing my pride

Keep your eyes down; say that you don't know me
For I could not survive if they took you away

So you know when some people go through a "fad" and they get all obsessed with one thing, like say, a band or a movie?  Well, that pisses me off no end.

People that do that are all like "omg, I know EVERYTHUNG 'BOUT THUM!!! IMMA GOTSTA EDIT MUH MAHSPACE AN CUVER IT WUTH STUFF ABOUT THUM!!!" My god, grow up....you know nothing! stupid bitch lol

Get to know the music ffs.....I use music as an example because I live for it....The Doors in particular (loved them since i was a kid - the first song I learned was Love Street by them lol) their music...wow...so much more meaning, if only I knew when I was a child that the lyrics of Love Street were about Pamela's drug habit that hadn't gone unnoticed by Jim....i would be a fucked up person right now lol

I wish these.....retards, for lack of a better word, would wake up, smell the coffee and be normal....

lol

=p ha!

"Indians scattered on dawn's highway bleeding, 
Ghosts crowd the young child's fragile eggshell mind..."

There's not a lot of words that I can use to sum our week in the sun up....Amazing, Fabulous...hot? lol

We were delayed by around half an hour going out there, but that was ok - it gave me a chance to calm down before getting on the plane lol

When we got there it was around 30 degrees, humid and about 8:30pm everything went smoothly - luggage collection, getting to our coach, getting to the hotel and checking in.  We took a quick walk around to get our bearings then turned in pretty early (well...about midnight) since it had been a long day.

Saturday and Sunday were pretty much spent looking around and sunbathing lol  Although on Sunday we went and had a look around a little market that was next to our hotel.

Monday we went to Loro Parque - it was AMAZING!!!!! We went to the Orca Show and the Dolphin Show which were fantastic and surprisingly we didnt get soaked lol, I'll upload pictures of the holiday and you'll be able to see some of the pictures from the parque.  We spent all day there - Chimps, Apes, Penguins, Birds, Tigers etc.....it was just such a wonderful day - I got soooo sunburned lol

Tuesday we didnt do much - just hung out and played pool, swam, sunbathed....amongst other things lol

Wednesday - arghhh...Medieval Knight....I WILL NEVER DRINK THAT MUCH FREE BOOZE AGAIN!!!!!! I don't think Alan will either lmao. From what I can remember, it was a great night....i'm still getting flashbacks from it lmao.

Thursday we went on a Submarine Safari from San Miguel Port - probably not the best thing to do when you have one of those "i'm going to throw up" hangovers, but strangely it made me feel better.  Yet again, I'll have pics of it up in my photos. 

Friday was a bit of a wasted day really because we had to check out of the hotel by 12pm.  We spent the day walking around, having a meal at a little beachside cafe that we found - it was awesome.  We went back to the hotel and sat in the lobby (which was pretty damn nice) for the remainder of the day reading until about 6pm when we were picked up and taken to the airport - I did'nt want to leave because of the Hotels cat: Ginger Biscuit a.k.a the Heartbreaker lol

It took us almost an hour to get checked in because we were delayed and the lil dude that was attending to us had to go and find compensation vouchers (six euros on a voucher - 2 vouchers - big whoop - it didnt even buy us something from burger king!

We grabbed some food, called home and then went through to the departure lounge to wait and spend the rest of our money lol

Eventually at midnight we got on the plane, and were in the air 20 minutes later.

5 hours later we were on our way home after almost 24 hours on the go.

One thing is for sure though - I would drop everything and go back right now if I could.....I would actually live there...lol

Adios!

Just a very quick blog to say Hola to everyone!!

Arrived home from Tenerife at like 6am on Saturday morning.

......................

I'll write all about it tomorrow, im too tired just now...

The girl sat quietly staring at the screen before her.  The glare from her glasses obscuring her eyes completely.  To anyone looking at her, she would just look as if she were reading an interesting news report, or some other moderately interesting website.  Only she knew exactly what she was seeing before her in black and white. 

For a moment her gaze faltered as she wiped away a small, crystal-like tear from her cheek.  The only noise above her deep, slow breathing was the whirr of the computer and the click of her mouse.  A  sudden movement and a stretch later found the Girl walking across the floor - she didn't really know where she was going or what she was doing, all she needed to know was that the wind was warm enough now for her to walk far from home without an overcoat or a sweater.

The Girl picked up her guitar and slung it over her shoulder before reaching for her notebook and pen:  A scribbled note and a moments pause was all it took for her to inform her parents that she would be home....late.  Late was always such an ominous word.

Walking along the dusty path just beyond her neighbours garden, the Girl stopped and looked up, removing her glasses for the first time, revealing bright green eyes, marked only with a streak of hazel in the right one.  There was no saddness, no anger or bitterness in them, only doubt.

Continuing on her way, the Girl quickened her pace - it wasn't for a lack of love of this place, it was for an impatient longing to see the Boy again.  Step by step she was getting closer to where they would meet and sure enough, as she turned the leafy corner in the road, he came into view.  For the first time the Girls face painted a true picture of how she felt - happy and releived to see the Boy but still with the shadow of a doubt on the whispy fringes of her mind.

The Boy held the Girl for a heartbeat and then turned with her to face the road from which he had come.  Each and every step starting to feel more unstable and heavy, the only thing that ensured the Girl that she would be ok was the Boys presence.

Before she knew it, they had arrived at the Girls destination - The building was massive.  Compared to the sunlit sky outside, it seemed like a cave, a cave bustling with a thousand voices that only made the Girl more nervous and doubtful, the only clarity coming with the Boys words.

A quick smile, a peck on the lips and a squeeze of the hand and he was gone - The Girls heart was in her throat.  She turned and slowly walked towards the door, removing her guitar from her shoulders.  Clutching the instrument tightly, the door swung open ready for her to walk through.  There was no make up, no preperation and no rehearsal.  This was it, it was time to play the music and sing the words that everyone would know and that only the Boy already did.

The only warmth she knew was in front of her, smiling broadly.  She knew she couldn't fail now.  Taking a final deep breath and raising the guitar, the Girl closed her eyes for only a second, opened them and smiled.  The first chords had already played as the Girl opened her mouth and sang the song that everyone must:

"...And all the world's a stage..."



No matter where we come from - whatever our roots, we all play out our own existance on the stage.   Why we play it is of no consequence - it is HOW we play it that matters.

Myspace is my first true addiction....I don't know what it is about it, perhaps it's the fully customisable profile?  I like dabbling, so that could be the reason.

So why am I also so fond of Bebo?  It's not as customisable as Myspace, yet I somehow like that....perhaps its the skin function?  the application function? the fact that every one of my friends are on there? lol

comparison:

my myspace profile

my bebo profile

completely different, yet, with their own attractions...

hmmmm....

Every now and then I have the urge to make little lists - it’s random, it’s fun and I like it!

So, here’s my Top 20 Albums of the moment - there are so many albums that I could have put in here but then it would have to be a list of my Top 465983436970 Albums.

That said, here is my Top 20 Album list!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1.  Biffy Clyro - Puzzle.
2.  RHCP - By The Way.
3.  Green Day - American Idiot.
4.  Funeral For A Friend - Hours.
5.  Finch - What It Is To Burn.
6.  Runrig - Long Distance - The Best of Runrig.
7.  Linkin Park - Meteora.
8.  The White Stripes - Elephant.
9.  Madonna - American Life.
10.  Melissa Etheridge - Lucky.
11.  System Of A Down - Toxicity.
12.  The Doors - The Soft Parade.
13.  The Doors - Waiting For The Sun.
14.  HIM - Deep Shadows And Brilliant Highlights.
15.  Audioslave - Audioslave.
16.  Nirvana - Incesticide.
17.  Everlast - White Trash Beautiful.
18.  From Autumn To Ashes - The Fiction We Live.
19.  Coheed & Cambria - In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth 3
20.  Mindless Self Indulgence - You’ll Rebel To Anything (As Long as          It’s Not Complicated)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I highly suggest the Doors - in fact, ANY of their albums are amazing - those two just happen to be my favourites!

*ding, ding-sing, sing!!*


~Currently Listening to From Autumn To Ashes: The Fiction We Live - The Fiction We Live...~