The following is the second part of the introduction to my book, "Letters To A Dead Love," a series of 52 letters to my beloved late grandfather, Papa Frank, who died when I was 9-l/2.  I will miss him forever.

Part II - Incest and child abuse are twin evils that we constantly sweep under the rugs of our lives.  Some therapists estimate that upwards of forty percent of all children are now attacked by sexual predators.  The figure may be even higher.

Our prisons are full of those who were thus mauled and defiled, then they "passed it on" in their rage, with rape (very often of their own children), murder, prostitution and other mayhem.  Our hospitals are crowded with those who have found life untenable and sought to end it all.  Our cemeteries are perhaps even fuller with those who died from incestuous poisons and child abuse.

And for those of us who have escaped hopital, prison, and cemetery, it is certain that the mythical hellforces of Scylla (the towering rocks) and Charybdis (the boiling whirlpool) that destroyed ships that tried to pass between them can best describe the ordeal we face.  Our hellforces are a huge and deadly psychic boulder and a vicious whirlpool -- hopelessness and helplessness -- setting up an incrediby dangerous passageway when we would sail our personal ships safely on our chosen seas.

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Thank God that incest and child abuse have reluctantly crept into the public consciousness.  Finally.  Let it come faster for all our good!  I pray for the day we fully acknowledge these evils and set out to battle them forcefully.  We can win!  And if we do not win, then it is not only the affected children who will suffer; none of our lives will be either as safe or as sane as they easily might be.

Yes, this book is going to cause me trouble.  I can only say that to add my voice to others against the deadly scourge of incest and child abuse will make it well worth any trouble it may cause.

Until next time, stay safe, happy, prayerful.

Love and blessings,

Francine

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Yes, we howl with anger, shrug it off, or do what we can to stop it when we come across any kind of abuse.  I'm talking about all abuse:  sexual, emotional, verbal, mental.  It all demeans the human spirit, makes us less than we are, and interferes with or totally stops our moving forward to our chosen goals.

So, if you're the guilty one, please stop for your own benefit. Many psychologists point out two of many reasons for being abusive and tell us how to get off this poisonous pathway. They are:

l)  We've grown up experiencing abuse on a sliding scale of minor - the occasional slap, push, yell, spanking, putdown -- to the major - beatings, undeniable and severely abusive language, bruising and battering.  So, perhaps we think that we withstood it and it won't do any real damage to anyone else.  Right? Wrong!  You couldn't be more wrong.  Every child is God's precious gift to the world and should be treated as such.  Think!  If someone gave you a diamond, wouldn't you treasure and protect it?  Of course you would.  Why would your children, your family and your frends mean any less?

2)  Stress!  Oh Lord, we have stress nowadays the way we perhaps have never known it before.  And a horrific recession is washing over us.  Even those of us who have some money wonder if it will be enough to last.  We're worried and our nerves are at the breaking point.  Sometimes we're on our last nerve and small things can try our patience even when we're on top of things.  With stress drumming on you, you feel you do everything wrong and nothing right.

These psychologists advise that we stop and think; get ahold of ourselves - now!  We're not riding in the same car our parents rode in -- not any longer.  We're in control, or ought to be and can be if we want to.  Get help in a mental health center if you feel you're losing it.  Check our your yellow pages.  And ther're always the ministers at our churches, often wise beyond the telling.  There is help available.  Stop beating on yourself and others and get it.

What to do about stress?  Sometimes there isn't a whole lot you can do, but there's always something.  Assess your situation.  Learn to communicate openly with others, even if they don't with you.  Identify your stressful situation(s) and tackle them one by one until you deal with them all.

Then last, but certainly not least -- pray!  Pray often.  Talk with God.  Believe, have faith, trust.  Even if you don't get what you ask for, what you will always get is soothing, a measure of peace, and the will to go on.

Until next time,

Love and blessings,

Francine Craft


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I want to share the introduction to a book I will be writing in the near future.  The title is "Letters To A Dead Love," and it's a series of 52 letters I'm writing to tell my late, beloved maternal grandfather about the life I've lived since he died when I was nine-and-a-half-years old.



This book is going to cause me trouble.  I can feel that even as I prepare to write it.  For me, it is truth as a beacon, and truth is too strong for some people's comfort, the way a beacon's light is too bright for some people's spirits.

There will be those who will say that I've lived through it and survived; now what in God's name is the point of rehashing, reliving, regurgitating as it were the poison of my past?  I ask that they remember that poison swallowed and not regurgitated kills.

Some people will be hurt, embarrassed, outraged.  I am a little sorry about that.  I'm no sadist.  But I am even sorrier for the seventy years I have lived psychically ragged and in torment in a prison that began largely when I was ten and I was hurt almost beyond hearing -- so much so that I  tried to kill myself.

For those who say I should not have sullied the excellent reputations of a few in my family, I say that a few in my family should not have behaved in such a way as to destroy mine.

If the pen is mightier than the sword -- and I believe it is -- then I write to liberate myself.  I hope I can sublimate and do with my pen what my God tells me I should not let myself do with a sword.  While I freely admit that vengeance is His, I firmly believe writing this to be His way of providing me with some retribution and a possible life.

                         * * * * * * *

So begins my book.  It will be sad, but there are joyful parts and I highly recommend it to anyone who has been hurt and has healed, or is trying to heal.

Love and blessings,

Francine

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Last week I told you about the newly begun Sexual Abuse Awareness month, which is April of each year.  Stephanie L. Jones, who suffered sexual abuse at an early age, and others, observed the month this year and had a Take Back The Night Detroit week that featured and helped the sexually abused in that area.

Stephanie has a wonderful book titled "The Enemy Between My Legs."  It will touch you, move you, haunt you.  It's available at Amazon, B&N, and all major bookstores.  It's also available with a riveting excerpt on her website at www.stephaneljones.com. (That's a small "L", not a 1.)

If you, anyone in your family, or any of your friends have known this indignity to spirit and to soul, please don't cower in the dark, denying and covering it up.  There is wonderful help available.  Denied sexual abuse has led to alcoholism, promiscuity, acting out and suicide.  Please don't be a victim.  Learn to be a survivor and a thriver in spite of the abuse, or to spite the abuse.  It's a battle you can win!
Help us Take Back the Night!  Take back your life!

Love and blessings

Francine

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I'm late with this and I'm very sorry because it's one of the most important topics you'll ever encounter.  Stephanie L. Jones of Detroit is doing fascinating and highly useful work with her anti-sexual abuse group. They recently held meetings in Detroit for Take Back The Night in Detroit.  This was in honor of April that is now Sexual Abuse Awareness Month.

This savvy young woman is on the move fighting the fight we've got to win.  There is and always has been major fallout from all types of sexual abuse, including incest.  However, with the advent of wall-to-wall sexuality on the big and small screens, in rap and other music, our youth are really in trouble bigtime.  There is little respect for anything or anybody and all the moral foundations we grew up with are fast going out the window.

Please consider getting active now and set up in our community to celebrate Sexual Abuse Awareness Month.  Frankly,  I can't think of a better title to give any celebration to help stamp out the vicious happening of sexual abuse. Consider giving hope to millions locked into the crippling fallout of sexual abuse.  There are more than you can imagine.  Twenty or more years ago, mental health workers estimated that more than 30 percent of youngsters were being sexually abused.  That number has risen with the rising tides of negative sexuality.  It is surely closer to 40 percent today.

Please look at www.takebackthenightdetroit.org. and find out what this fantastic group is all about.  This will tell you how to get in touch with Stephanie L. Jones, the vibrant, talented and altogether activist so closely linked to this group as a founder and worker.  This is the first year for this group.  Let us all make sure the movement grows and prospers - to better ensure all our futures!

Can we count on you?

Love and blessings,

Francine

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