Here is a news clip I found on Yahoo. My blog commentary follows.
From yahoo news
The Keys to Happiness, and Why We Don't Use Them
Robin Lloyd
Special to LiveScience
Tue Feb 28, 11:02 AM ET
"It requires some effort to achieve a happy outlook on life, and most people don't make it." Author and researcher Gregg Easterbrook
Psychologists have recently handed the keys to happiness to the public, but many people cling to gloomy ways out of habit, experts say.
Polls show Americans are no happier today than they were 50 years ago despite significant increases in prosperity, decreases in crime, cleaner air, larger living quarters and a better overall quality of life.
So what gives?
Happiness is 50 percent genetic, says University of Minnesota researcher David Lykken. What you do with the other half of the challenge depends largely on determination, psychologists agree. As Abraham Lincoln once said, "Most people are as happy as they make up their minds to be."
What works, and what doesn't
Happiness does not come via prescription drugs, although 10 percent of women 18 and older and 4 percent of men take antidepressants, according to the Department of Healt and Human Services Anti-depressants benefit those with mental illness but are no happiness guarantee, researchers say.
Nor will money or prosperity buy happines for many of us. Money that lifts people out of poverty increases happiness, but after that, the better paychecks stop paying off sense-of-well-being dividends, research shows.
One route to more happiness is called "flow," an engrossing state that comes during creative or playful activity, psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi has found. Athletes, musicians, writers, gamers, and religious adherents know the feeling. It comes less from what you're doing than from how you do it.
Sonja Lyubomirsky of the University of California at Riverside has discovered that the road toward a more satisfying and meaningful life involves a recipe repeated in schools, churches and synagogues. Make lists of things for which you're grateful in your life, practice random acts of kindness, forgive your enemies, notice life's small pleasures, take care of your health, practice positive thining, and invest time and energy into friendships and family.
The happiest people have strong families, says Ed Diener, a psychologist University of Illinois. Interestingly his research finds that most people are slightly to moderately happy, not unhappy.
On your own
Some Americans are reluctant to make these changes and remain unmotivated even though our freedom to pursue happiness is written into the preamble of the Declaration of Independence.
Don't count on the government, for now, Easterbrook says.
Our economy lacks the robustness to sustain policy changes that would bring about more happiness, like reorienting cities to minimize commute times.
The onus is on us.
"There are selfish reasons to behave in altruistic ways," says Gregg Easterbrook, author of "The Progress Paradox: How Life Gets Better While People Feel Worse" (Random House, 2004).
"Research shows that people who are grateful, optimistic and forgiving have better experiences with their lives, more happiness, fewer strokes, and higher incomes," according to Easterbrook. "If it makes world a better place at same time, this is a real bonus."
Diener has collected specific details on this. People who positively evaluate their well-being on average have stronger immune systems, are better citizens at work, earn more income, have better marriages, are more sociable, and cope better with difficulties. Unhappy by default
Lethargy holds many people back from doing the things that lead to happiness. Easterbrook, also a Visiting Fellow at the Brookings Institute, goes back to Freud, who theorized that unhappiness is a default condition because it takes less effort to be unhappy than to be happy.
"If you are looking for something to complain about, you are absolutely certain to find it," Easterbrook told LiveScience. "It requires some effort to achieve a happy outlook on life, and most people don't make it. Most people take the path of least resistance. Far too many people today don't make the steps to make their life more fulfilling one."
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I know what makes me happy, and I know what makes me miserable. Why am I not always happy?
I'm working on it.
That's the key right there. Working on it. Working on it is a continuous process of reviewing and planning your life. Goals, dreams, ambitions and how you act and think will always have to be under your scrutiny.
Life is what you make of it, whether you are from the ghetto or a private gated community, it's up to you. You can go thru life as a janitor -and if you live an honest life and are happy, well then you got the asshole beat who sails around in his yacht pissing on people. I've tried to explain this to some people, but many feel that money or status is the key to happiness. Yeah, living a wealthy lifestyle is more congruous to being happy but money won't make you happy. For many people it's quite the opposite.
The answer is within all of us. We know what makes us happy. I'm not saying that some people don't need drugs, I don't think chemical imbalances can cured with positive thinking. I also know for some people it's easy, and for some near impossible.
I read a few philosophy books about happiness, and there is a common theme. We are creatures of contentment. We seek out pleasures. There are short-term pleasures that add no value to your overall long term happiness. The immediate gratifications of these acts do not really sink into the heart, but they drag us thru a dreary existence. Every time I hop into my Mercedes I get a rush (I wish!), that's cool and all but just a band-aid. Is owning or driving a Mercedes wrong? No. Spending money, watching tv, eating, etc. All instant gratification. Is it wrong, no. Just shortsighted. Many people use these small comforts to get through the day, or to avoid despair, or to deaden the pain from loss or loneliness.
Being a high profile executive may be your dream, and knowing that you are VP for Eastern Sales may make you walk taller, but at what cost? Short term happiness tastes good, but will make you fat......
Long-term happiness comes from many things, but you have to find out what that is for you and act on it. Even the act of thinking about it can make you happy. Plan your retirement, planning the garden layout for the spring, getting your tackle ready for fishing season, etc. See yourself watching the sun go down over the lake from your cabin, plan what kind of log cabin you will build. Long-term happiness comes from action. You know, that feeling you get when you remodel the kitchen and it looks really good. Or when you stop over at the neighbor's house with a bag of corn and cucumbers you grew. Even better, when you get a great jam going with friends. Another part is to be virtuous and honest to yourself and everyone else in your life. Life is much easier when you don't lie, cheat or steal to get what you want. Be kind. It's better to give than receive, right? And all that happy horse shit!
Take a close look at your life. Think about what is really important to you and what really makes you happy. Be warned: There may be some unfortunate outcomes to doing this. That's part of the process, and through the process you will get a clearer picture of what it is that you need to do to achieve "happiness".
Here's a scenario. You go to work. You dread coming home because your significant other is gonna __________. You are thinking about it what makes you happy -then you realize what makes you miserable, your spouse. Luckily this is not the case for me! But what do you do? Are there kids involved? Do you put their happiness first? Would they be better off if you were not married, but happy? Wow, all tough questions. I use this analogy because it is an extreme example of how tough turning your life around can be. It can be tough, so succeed requires you really want to do it.
What is involved with this change? As mentioned before, this is a continuous process of reviewing and planning your life. There are many things to consider and act on, so where do you start? Let's start with five things to do right away:
Think
Think about what makes you happy? Really happy. What are your dreams? Your life's goals. What are your hobbies? Think about your family and friends that make you happy. You do dream, right? Remember that some of these dreams will just be fantasies, but that's okay. I dream about sharing the stage with some of my musical influences some day. Will it happen, probably not. But I have shared the stage and jammed with 100s of great players who I not only enjoyed jamming with, but got to share an experience that only performing musicians can understand. It's awesome! I also dream of travel, or moving out of the US to somewhere totally different. There are so many places I'd like to live for 6 months or more. That's a fantasy, not going to happen. But dreaming about it and vacationing quenches that thirst. It makes me happy thinking about places I've been and how I would like to go back. There are two examples of how two seemingly unattainable dreams have a positive effect on my life.
Be thankful for what you have
I have a family that I love. I have a house. I have a car. I have a job. I have my music. I have my friends. I have my memories of good times. I am alive. Whoa! How lucky am I? Don't take the things you have for granted. Be grateful, don't take any of it for granted. Life is short, appreciate what you have now.
Plan
Think about and plan the things that make you happy. Plan. Long-term happiness can really happen if you plan for it. The act of planning can itself bring joy. I'm sitting here thinking about what I want to plant for the summer, and there's snow falling outside. Thinking about a future vacation is fun. Planning buying a vacation home 20 years from now can be cool too. Where would you go? How far? On a lake, or on the Cape? Also, plan being happy. Plan on going to see a movie, buy concert tickets. You'll also need to plan on how you are going to deal with daily stuff that interferes with happiness; traffic, someone at work who gets on your nerves or makes your job harder, your unhappy overstressed spouse. Other people's moods have a big impact on on yours, you need to plan ahead on how to deal with it.
Act
Doing nothing is easy, change is hard. But you need to act for a change to happen. Start now, today. You can start slowly, but just start with one thing at a time. A customer service trick is to smile when you are talking to a customer. That some cheesy stuff right there, but it works. To be happy, you need to act and appear happy. Smile and act happy when you are talking to people. It should release some tension if there is any. You may think that is just putting on a front. Well, it is. But maybe after a while you'll become a natural at it and it won't be a fake smile. So this little act of smiling when talking to people goes a long way. Also, get off your ass! Be healthy, exercise. Be active. Visit friends and family. Take your kids to the park. Take your girlfriend to the park. Go hang out with your boyfriend's family. Take up a hobby or two. Don't just sit there and let life pass you by. I know you are tired. You worked all day. You want to relax and unwind, watch the tube. But as a way of life, that is pathetic. Get out. Socialize. Walk, swim, run, dance, see a show, go to the library, I don't know just get off your ass! Maybe you need to act in other ways. Maybe you need to get counseling. Not everyone does. I always think about going, but I never act on it. I just don't see it as a necessity, I always think I can get myself out of a funk. Maybe you do need it, maybe you don't. If you suffer from gambling, drug/alcohol abuse, domestic abuse, etc. then you do need help. There are lots of good reasons to seek professional help.
Be kind
This is obvious to me, but not everyone agrees it seems! What good can come of hurting people if you want to be happy? Does stealing really make you feel good, fill a need for you? Or does it satisfy an immediate desire whether it be hunger or greed. Stop arguing with people. Don't yell at the people you love. Don't insult people. Don't take advantage of people. Stop hating people, or groups of people. Don't cheat. Hey, I'm not asking you to hug strangers here. I just want to make a point that kindness, honesty and compassion go a long way towards your own happiness. Help people who need it without having to be asked or told. I hear that volunteering is a great way to recharge the soul. I may take that up again someday.
Breathe
Whoa! Don't forget about breathing!! Several times throughout each day just paying attention to your breathing, adjust it to be slow and steady. Please realize how important this is. Breathing is a life force. As a friend said recently, the first thing in life that you do is take a deep breath, the last thing you do is exhaling. It's a rhythm. The rhythm of life.
The answers are inside you, and you need to find them.
You now know what to ask. What makes you happy? You ask what are the answers? Where do I find them? How am I working on finding the answers? Well, not very proactively I'm afraid. I do know many things that do make me happy; my family, playing/writing/performing music, fishing, hiking, friends, gardening, nature, the beach, traveling, etc.. So everything is right around me, and I do get to do a lot of the things I like to do. Are there voids in my life, sure. Do I long for things, yep. So where's my answer? I'm still looking, and I'm thinking that finding the answer may be a long way off.
There is no one answer, no definitive conclusion that you'll come to. You get closer to the heart of the answer, but I feel the complete answer is always elusive. The key is to start searching for the answer.
Is the answer to kick your boss is the balls, move to Australia and go to college a night and surf all day? Should you leave your significant other and find the person who really understands and loves you? Should you move away from your crazy family and disassociate yourself with them? Drastic actions are usually not the answer. Knowing your situation and then assessing your options logically is the better plan of action. It also helps to remember that there are many things outside of your control. Don't waste time complaining or worrying about things outside of your control. Do what you can to make it better, but don't obsess over the things you can't fix.
So, I can go on about this for hours. Here is a review with some other things to consider when striving for a happier life:
- Know what makes you happy, be active about it.
- Plan out long term happiness goals.
- Don't focus on short term happiness and instant gratification.
- Get your "flow going", start with small steps.
- It's easy to be unhappy, stop being lazy about it. START NOW!
- No one's dying words were ever "I wish I spent more time at the office".
- Breathe.
- Don't let other people affect your happiness.
- Be kind.
- Don't complain, think of how to improve the "subject" of your dissatisfaction.
- Exercise.
- Get good rest. Very important.
- Eat well.
- Plan and review your situation all the time.
Life is full of tragedy, loss and despair. In all that, you need to find happiness. Unless someone proves differently, I have to assume that there is no afterlife or reincarnation. I have to make the most of this lifetime. Don't waste yours. Bridging the gaps between despair and contentment with potato chips or drugs is not the answer. You are shortening your life with that and not getting the most out of it, your life becomes unfulfilled by going from instant gratification to instant gratification.
Give it a try. Find what makes you happy and go for it. Unless what makes you happy is something really creepy or disgusting. Then go get professional help pervert!