Fan Fic by Sammi
Gerard hated going home,
He knew what was coming, The same fist, The same pain, The same blade to block it all out.
There was nothing he could do, no one to turn to. He felt so alone.
His mom committed suicide just over a year ago and ever since his dad blamed him for her death.
His dad just couldn't accept she was gone,
So every day he would drink himself into oblivion and beat the shit out of him.
Gerard was left crying in his room.
Every night he would try to stay strong for his mom,
But he couldn't help thinking that none of this would be happening if it wasn't for her,
So every night he would sit by his window staring into the night drawing deep cuts into his arm.
Tears crawling down his face, blood dripping out his veins.
Gerard knew his mom would be looking down in disappointment but he didn't no what else to do.
He had no friends at school.
Everyone hated him coz he was gay.
"Fag" and "emo" where the words he heard everyday.
And every day he would have the same jocks chasing him down the hallways.
Gerard couldn't handle his life for much longer,
Would anyone really notice if he wasn't there..
Would anyone really miss him,
He knew that answer already.
Another tear trickled down his face.
Tomorrow was Monday morning and Gerard knew that it would be the same as every other.
Another jock,
Another Fist,
Another blade..
Monday Morning
Gerard woke up early, his tummy was growling.
He locked himself in his room the night before with nothing to eat.
He didn't want to face the world,
He so wanted to crawl back in to bed and never wake up.
His hunger got the better of him,
He quickly through on his scruffy uniform and stared at the scars on his arm.
He just pulled down his sleeve and tried to forget about the pain.
Gerard didn't hang around for very long,
He could already hear his dad moving around upstairs,
So Gerard grabbed a piece of toast and ran out the door,
There was no way he could handle his dad this early in the morning.
It was way to early for him to be heading off to school, so he wandered over to the park and sat against a tree and put on his I pod.
This was the only time he ever felt comforted,
With the beat of his music drumming in his ears.
He hadn't been there very long when he saw a lonely looking guy walk into the park and sit by the tree next to him.
Gerard caught a glimpse of his eye as he began to blush.
He was beautiful.
Gerard never thought any boy could be beautiful,
Good looking yes, but beautiful no.
But this guy was different,
There was something about him.
Even with a scruffy uniform on, he still looked amazing
Gerard soon recognised the uniform to be the same as his own.
Gerard seriously thought about going over to say hi,
But by the time he worked up enough courage to go over, the guy had got up and walked away..
Gerard knew he wouldn't even stand a chance,
He was probably straight anyways..
So what was the point,
He would just end up hating him like everyone else.
Gerard looked at the time and quickly ran off knowing he had 5 minutes left before class started.
He had gym class first.
This was the worst, he dreaded going, knowing the jocks would "accidentally" kick balls at him and push him over.
Yep, that gym class was the same as every other..
Balls flying at his head, and more cuts and bruises as he got shoved to the ground.
Thank god he had art class next.
The only place he could become invisible.
Not having to worry about what the jocks would do next.
He sat in the back corner on an empty table as he became engrossed in his painting,
He defiantly didn't realise those piercings eyes staring at him from the other side of the room.
Gerard suddenly looked up,
And there he was.
Standing awkwardly in the doorway waiting for the teacher to acknowledge him.
Gerard's cheeks burned red as he quickly turned away,
"God I hope he didn't see me"
"Im such a fucking loser".
The teacher told the new boy to go and sit in the back corner.
"Holy Shit"
Gerard thought.
That was next to him.
How could he handle sitting next to this beautiful guy, when he was such an outcast.
This couldn't be happening.
The guy shuffled over nervously and sat on the chair next to Gerard.
Gerard turned his head and smiled nervously.
The guy just casually smiled back.
"Hey im Frank"
"Oh hey err im.. I mean my names Gerard".
Gerard blushed again.
Frank just smiled.
God his smile was cute.
Why did I have to be such a loser..
He's gona end up hating me like every other person in this shitty place.
His own dad couldn't even stand the sight of him,
So why would Frank be any different..
Frank turned and looked at Gerard's rolled up sleeves,
Flinching as he saw each and every delicate scar.
Gerard noticed him staring,
He just rolled down his sleeve and carried ..ing.
"Gerard.."
"Yeh..?"
"Why do you do it to yourself..?"
"You wouldn't understand"
"Try me.."
"Well lets see shall we, My mum committed suicide a year ago, my dad beats the shit out of me, I get shoved around and beaten yet again by the jocks and I have no friends, oh and to top it all off, everyone hates me coz im gay.."
"That a good enough fucking reason for you"
Gerard didn't mean to sound so rude, but Frank new nothing about him,
How could he possibly understand why he had each individual scar running all the way up his arm.
"Gerard, im not going to judge you"
"Im just worried about you.."
Gerard blushed yet again.
"Your worried about me.. But why..?"
"I dont hate you, Actually I kinda like you..
Frank blushed as he realised what he'd just said.
"Didn't you see me smile at you in the park?"
"No, I was in my own little world, sorry."
"Good, there's me thinking you wasn't interested"
"interested…?"
"Oh yeh, didn't I mention, im gay to."
The bell rang,
Gerard quickly grabbed all his stuff and ran out the class.
All this crazy stuff was running through his head..
How could frank possibly like him?
No one liked him,
His own flesh and blood couldn't stand the site of him.
"This has to be some kind of joke.."
"Yeh, I bet Frank is friends with all the jocks and they are in on it as well"
"I bet their all laughing at me now.."
Gerard ran out of the school gates and back to the park.
Tears streaming down his face,
He sat by the same tree and rummaged around in his bag till he found his compass.
He put on his I pod and then gently pressed the compass blade into his wrist.
More tears crawled down his face.
He just sat there with his head resting on his knees trying to block out all the pain he ever felt.
He suddenly realised a dark shadow standing in front of him.
It was Frank..
"Why'd you run off like that?"
"Did I say something wrong?"
"Is this some kind of sick joke?"
"You cant like me, No one likes me"
"Why would you be any different.."
"Gerard, I no you have issues, especially trust issues but not everyone hates you"
"I've already told you I like you, Whys that so hard for you to understand?"
"Just Leave Me The Fuck Alone."
Frank looked hurt, but he did what Gerard said and he walked away.
Gerard just sat there crying.
What had he just done..
The first person to say they cared for him and he told them to stay the fuck away.
Gerard stayed there for hours.
He kept replaying in his head what he said to Frank.
"How could I have been so stupid"
Gerard looked at the time and it was nearly 1 o clock in the morning.
It was raining lightly so Gerard started walking home.
This was the last place he wanted to be,
Spose this was better then sleeping on a cold park bench.
Gerard unlocked his front door to find his dad cold out on the sofa.
That was one less thing he had to worry about tonight.
Gerard just trudged up the stairs to his room and collapsed onto his bed.
He didn't even bother to got undressed,
He just curled up under his duvet and lay their crying.
His life was such a mess.
Every thing that seemed to ever go right in his life turned into a disaster.
Now Frank defiantly hated him.
Gerard couldn't even bear the thought of getting up tomorrow,
He just wanted to curl up and dye.
He was defeated, there was nothing here for him anymore.
Nothing seemed to matter.
Frank mattered, but he managed to fuck that up as well.
Gerard just drifted in and out of a sleepy daze,
He had to much going through his head.
Gerard eventually gave up on trying to sleep so he tip toed downstairs,
Grabbed a bottle of his dads vodka and took a long hard swig.
His face screwed up as the sharp taste burned down his throat.
This was his way to escape..
Gerard grabbed his keys and walked out the door,
It must have been at least 3am by now,
Not that it mattered.
He just slowly wandered in the direction of the park,
It was still raining but Gerard didn't seem to notice.
He went and sat under the same tree where he first laid eyes on Frank.
Another tear trickled down his cheek.
He took another swig of the vodka.
He suddenly realised a dark shadow heading into the park.
Gerard was scared, hoping it wasn't one of the jocks..
The shadow got closer and closer,
It was Frank.
"Frank, what are you doing here?!"
"I was just about to ask you the same..?"
"I couldn't sleep, my head needed clearing.."
Gerard was still crying, hoping Frank wouldn't notice..
He did.
Frank just put his arm round Gerard as Gerard slowly rested his head on Franks shoulder.
"Frank, im sorry I shouted at you.."
"Im just not used to people talking to me, let alone liking me"
"Gerard its okay, I was kinda hurt, but I guess its just who you are"
There was a moment where their eyes met and they melted into each others arms.
Frank looked at Gerard's lips as they slowly edged closer together.
There was a moment where the world seemed to stop spinning,
Nothing else mattered,
It was just Frank and Gerard.
That one small kiss turned in to a hungry passionate kiss as if it was last one they'd ever have.