Ok, so story time kids

I've been trying to get into to shape again & save some gas money, so I've been riding my bike to work.  It's a short ride, about a 1 1/2 miles, 14-16 minutes.  Nothing major, why not.

Oh yeah, did I mention I have to be at work at 5am, and the road is mildly lit?  No?  Well, now you know.

Ok, so now you have the set up.

Today, I'm doing my thing, pedalling away and wearing my black hoodie, my backpack, and my pants.  Pedal, pedal, pedal.

I get to the part where I push the bike to avoid the intersection next to the local bar/resturant the Hobnobbin' Pub.  I look left and right, see one car coming from the left (which is where I'm going after I cross the road), but far enough that I can cross nice and safe.

So I do.

Now I can see my store from here, but first I see the car that's coming is in fact a Town of Poughkeepsie Police car. Oh no!

So I keep on pedalling because I ain't breaking no crime ('cept jaywalking, I guess), and wouldn't you know it I hear that fun fun fun sound

WHOOP WHOOP!

Motherfucker, that cop actually pulled an illegal u-ee, came behind me and hit pseudo-siren.

I just got pulled over... on a bike!

So what do I do?  Stop, put down the kickstand, and walk over to the policia to play 20 questions.

"Where you going?" "Work, right over there" "Where you coming from?" "From where I live" "How long you live there?" "A little while" "Do you have ID?" "Sure!" "Why don't you have a car?" "I'm trying to get in shape and it's nice out"

Etc, etc, etc

So I finally am free to leave, go to work... and the cop parks his ass across the street and watches me work!  That motherfucker doesn't leave until I have a customer!

Bastard.

But, well, at least he didn't put his lights on.

There are some things in life that always amaze me.  I'll simply never understand them no matter how hard I try.  Try and try they just don't make sense to me...

Here are some:

Why anytime you listen to a "Remix" on some rap song they HAVE to yell "remix" half a dozen times.  Dude, we've heard the original, we know this is different, we aren't that stupid... or are we?

How Geico can get away with such blatently rascist commercials in this day and age.  For that matter, that people think these commercials are funny

Chicks man, chicks

If reality tv is such complete and utter garbage (and you know it ALL is) why do we still find ourselves watching

Why DJs on hip hop stations have to shout.  You're not at the club, we can hear you, use your inside voice.

How Uwe Boll still can be allowed to direct movies

How nut shots never stop being funny

How MTV (and now even MTV2) still don't even attempt to show music videos... and people seem ok with this

How Joel Schumaker can make so many good movies, yet made the 2 worst Batman movies in history

How movie studios make regular cartoons into CGI cartoons... and don't even bother to make it look less cartoony.  If you're going to use CGI either use it for a) brand new original material or b) to create better special effects

There's more but my brain just went numb

You know what I miss?  Theme music from the 80s. It's a lost art form, a part of American culture sadly put into an early grave.

Remember when like EVERY 80s comedy had some corresponding theme song of same such name?  And they were classics man.  Ghostbusters!  Armed and Dangerous!  Gleamin' the Cube!  Footloose!  Oh, it just goes on and on baby.

And even tv shows had theme songs that *gasp* featured the name of the show in the title.

It was beautiful, so beautiful.

But now when was the last time you heard a song with the same now as the movie?  Nowhen, that's when!  Not even most cartoons feature the name any more.  What's up with that?

Imagine how awesome movies would be if they just through that in there.  As great as "Dodgeball: The Movie" or "Mean Girls" were, can you imagine how into it you would be with a snappy number laying out the basic plot for us?  It would rock the house!

And have you ever wondered what happened to all those musicians whose careers and very livelihood depended on that next great song/movie?  I bet they all killed themselves, the poor sad, pathetic bastards.

But alas the world would rather have trendy-band-of-the-minute perform some (possibly) new song that's as bad and/or forgetable as everything else on the radio today.  Oh boy, Limp Bizkit is making the theme for that new action flick!  Hey, listen to that pop-punk song that's introeing the newest Wilson Brothers movie!  WOW!  And to think of what could have been.

I miss 80s theme songs