Logline: Pandora leads a lonely, but tech savvy life until the lights go out and she discovers love beats an iPhone any day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aALc7t1J3bY

The path to love is never easy. Susan must run the gauntlet of Mister Wrongs and tag them with Post-it Super Sticky Notes so she can get to Mister Right.

I've two stories inside. The first explores how to become a Nigerian millionaire and the second plumbs the depths of love in the corporate world.

From its debut in March 2004 to its final issue in June 2007, FLYMF published hundreds of short stories, skits, personal essays, comics and movies from more than 60 contributors. "FLYMF’s Greatest Hits" represents the best selections from the publication’s history—a great book for any humor lover.

It's only $15 for 337 pages of hilarity. It's far funnier and smarter than all of the Pauly Shore movies put together. Plus it's a total laugh riot compared to "Gran Torino." And if you didn't invest with Bernie Madoff, there's two reason to buy this book:

1. You're not stupid.
2. You're not broke. Yet.

Tough times call for laughing in the face of adversity. Get a head start by going to flymf.com to get your copy!

Thanks,

Glen

If you're like me, the budget is tight this year. So here's the perfect holiday gift for friends, family, those with a sense of humor or those you want to piss off.

Check out FLYMF's Greatest Hits, a compilation of the best of FLYMF, a humor website published by my classmates at USC's Master of Professional Writing program.

Yours truly has two stories in the anthology -- "Whispering Sweet Buzzwords" and "This Inheritance Can Be Yours."

Don't let the cover deter you, it's fantastic collection of humor.

For only $15, you get hours of totally great reading that'll make milk shoot out of your nose!

Happy holidays!

I'm not giving props to the lame duck W., but relating the latest of jargon heard at a corporate meeting last week. They are:

1. "Thanks for your leadership!" -- a compliment given to someone who is neither a manager nor leader. They were just doing their job in the absence of official leadership or management. The subtext must be "Your manager is a real dud and you had to pull our feces from the fire and save the day."

2. "Greenwashing" -- putting spin on something to make it sound more environmentally friendly than it is. Corp Am is under tremendous PR pressure to put a green smiley face on everything. An example: "Despite greenwashing, a hybrid Cadillac Escalade has the carbon footprint of Godzilla."

3. "Thought Leader" -- maybe not so new, but it is a pundit, author or biz celeb who pontificates on weighty topics. Corp Am dreads thinking or being original, so they happily go along and toss at least $20k their way to speak at an employee gathering.

4. "Employment Reduction" -- used to be "lay off" and before that "you're fired!"

5. "Value Proposition" -- I've heard this one for a while, but always makes me think of a Las Vegas hooker wearing Armani trying to sell me derivatives.

www.glengolightly.com

It's crazy, crowded, lascivious and almost debaucherous. It's the West Hollywood Halloween Carnival.

Alice in Wonderland, Wonder Woman, cops and dominatrixes seemed to be the most popular costumes for women. The guys costumes were random.

I grabbed what I could with my Sony point and shoot. Maybe next year I'll armor up and shoot a digital Nikon SLR.

I was in downtown L.A. on biz Wednesday night and lost track of how many rats I saw. I'm not talking city council or county commissioners, but rodents.

Here's an idea. Equip the downtown homeless with pellet guns and send them out to eradicate the rats.

The idea has merit. First, it's eliminates a public health hazard. Second, it gives the homeless some pride and sense of importance. Instead of mumbling to themselves, they'll actually have something relevant to say. And finally, with the economy tumbling, we're going to see a better, more educated and sane group of homeless than we're used to. There will be some stiff competition among bankers, brokers and those maxed out on credit cards.

I'd say a $5 bounty on each carcass brought in by these urban hunters.

Since this is a bureaucratic endeavor, some sort of screening process will be needed. We don't want one of the bums going psycho and zinging passers by with lead. And I reckon they need some sort of training and rules too.

OK, maybe it's cheaper and better to put out traps or employ a herd of cats.

--30--
glengolightly.com

There's numerous advantages to living in the urban jungle. . .

1. You're on a first-name basis with the bums in the neighborhood.

2. Thanks to your neighbors and their open windows and expensive sound systems you become familiar with all sorts of musical genres especially ones that use words like "bitches," "ho's" and "gangsta."

3. It's a given that someone has set up the laundry or storage room as a domicile and they get irate when kicked out or the police take them away.

4. Bikes and skateboards now have the right-of-way on sidewalks. "Get the !@$%&! out of the way, pedestrians!"

5. Despite no one paying them anymind, people still install loud and obnoxious car alarms that go off the moment you drift off to sleep.

glengolightly.com

It's BBW time again. No, not Big Beautiful Women, sorry fat chix. It's the American Library Association's Banned Book Week.

You should be reading stuff "they" don't want you to read year round, but if you're not, Sept. 27 to Oct. 4 is time to renew your inner rebel.

According to the ALA, these were the tomes most likely to be challenged by book Nazis:

The "10 Most Challenged Books of 2007" reflect a range of themes, and consist of the following titles:

1) "And Tango Makes Three," by Justin Richardson/Peter Parnell
Reasons: Anti-Ethnic, Sexism, Homosexuality, Anti-Family, Religious Viewpoint, Unsuited to Age Group


2) The Chocolate War," by Robert Cormier
Reasons: Sexually Explicit, Offensive Language, Violence


3) "Olive's Ocean," by Kevin Henkes
Reasons: Sexually Explicit and Offensive Language

4) "The Golden Compass," by Philip Pullman
Reasons: Religious Viewpoint

5) "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn," by Mark Twain
Reasons: Racism

6) "The Color Purple," by Alice Walker
Reasons: Homosexuality, Sexually Explicit, Offensive Language,

7) "TTYL," by Lauren Myracle
Reasons: Sexually Explicit, Offensive Language, Unsuited to Age Group

8) "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings," by Maya Angelou
Reasons: Sexually Explicit

9) "It's Perfectly Normal," by Robie Harris
Reasons: Sex Education, Sexually Explicit

10) "The Perks of Being A Wallflower," by Stephen Chbosky
Reasons: Homosexuality, Sexually Explicit, Offensive Language, Unsuited to Age Group

Off the list this year, are two books by author Toni Morrison. "The Bluest Eye" and "Beloved," both challenged for sexual content and offensive language.

Visualize being a boy genius hated by your high school classmates and having parents who squander the proceeds from your amazing invention.

If you happen to live in Chippewa Falls, Wis., your only logical alternative is to run away.

You'd think genius would be appreciated in Chippewa Falls since Seymour Cray, the father of supercomputing was born there.

Apparently not, since the eponymous character in "Illegal Use of Joe Zopp" eschews science and intellect to be homeless in Toledo, Ohio.

Unlike Joe Zopp, first timers Wut Wut Alma Moving Pictures used their craniums instead of fleeing to Toledo. They've cranked out a primer on DIY indie filmmaking with their ambitious comedic mystery.

It's a down-home production featuring everything from local crew, actors and musicians to one of the mom's catering the shoot. The production company claims the budget was less than the cost of a used Toyota Corolla, but the film doesn't show it.

The years pass and we find Joe Zopp (Nick Holle) on a street corner dressed as a basketball referee ordering people to tuck in their shirts and calling fouls when they swear. Toledo must be a civil place since everyone cheerily cooperates. Try doing that in New York or L.A.

High school pal Ike (Andre Egli) finds Joe so he can win a betting pool worth $50,000. Joe reluctantly goes with Ike and learns he's been declared dead after the town thinks he was smushed by a freight train.

He doesn't do the sensible thing and move to Akron. Instead, Joe decides to unravel the mystery of who's buried in his grave. This involves deciphering small-town secrets while on the trail of what might be a serial killer.

As Joe investigates his own death, he confronts the small-town archetypes –- the lone minority in town, the ladies' social group doubling as the unseen hand and the wannabee sheriff. The characters work to varying comedic effect, but seem earnest and maybe cast because they were handy.

As in most prodigal son stories, Joe finds home isn't so bad after all and a lot of people missed him.

There's more than enough story in "Zopp" for several films. Director Sarah Rykal does a commendable job getting all of it, but may have been at the mercy of the seven credited writers (of which she is one) to get every last joke and sight gag in the can.

If 15 minutes and some of the misfired jokes were zapped, "Zopp" would be even tighter, funnier and faster.

Still, Wut Wut Alma's first outing is a sharp and fun film full of small-town spirit that shows on the screen.

"Illegal Use of Joe Zopp"

Director: Sarah Rykal; Writers: Scott Brown, Scott Hedrington, Paul Hogseth, Nick Holle, Joe Ott, Sarah Rykal and Emery Skolfield; Cast: Nick Holle as Joe Zopp, Andre Egli as Ike and Corey Walton as Louie.

Unrated, 110 minutes, DVD available at http://www.wutwutalma.com