Finished, yet another, LA Marathon!

Ridiculous - It reminds me of Faith.  Which is what I learned about in the Desert.  (Nice transition, huh... sort of... read on -)

 Well, Two things - I prepared more than ever with the High School kidsthat I mentor for the marathon, and it was still REAL hard.  Yet, I reaped many benefits.  For one, my anxiety before the run was very low - this had a huge affect on my performance.  Yet those last 6 miles were still a killer!  So what does this have to do with faith?  I prepared so that I could know what it really mean to exercise faith!  When i was down in the gutter - that is when I saw the power of relying on the only one I could rely on - I often go into life thinking, 'why doesn't this just happen?' - when I haven't prepared SQUAT in such a way that would put me into position to exercise faith.

When I was in the Desert ( you can / should read more here - Wilderness LT), I realized another aspect of Faith.  It can be clouded by routine and sight - not real original here - but it really takes TAKING time to get to a new location or new place of mind to not see with my eyes, but with Faith.  I was humbled to realize that I greatly confuse Faith, with wanting things 'my way' or 'my time' - I would never call them that (you probably wouldn't either) - but I recognized that my frustrations and anger deal more with my own set of expectations, and/or unmet expectations, than anything God has done or not done.  One of these expectations being - Shouldn't life operate now, in the present, like life operates in the Kingdom of God?  I mean, I sing songs about his promises - and often 'church' language has lent me to 'trick' myself into thinking "i'm there!  Jesus is the bomb! and life is going to go great!"  ( - which I translate, often, to say 'things will go MY way') - Thus, I'm forgetting what following Jesus is all about, as it were.  There's a battle that I can't see, there's a battle to love people and to stay in Intimacy with God.  He said, "I came to give you life abundantly," and I forget that THAT involves a battle.  Not the battle that people think; it's the spiritual fight to love - and, this by Faith!  Especially the faith to let down my guards and, ultimately, pride - and allow God to 'know' me, and for me to listen freshly to him. I was struck with this verse:  "But I have stilled and quieted my soul, Like a weaned child with it's mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me."  Psalm 131:2 

This is where faith comes in conflict with the beliefs that I hold - down deep.  Or rather this is where I come face to face with the reality of God's Grace and Truth.  Or this is where my will comes into conflict with what Faith really is.  Faith is exerting Trust.  Trust isn't something that just happens.  or does it?  I started seeing, out in the desert, that my expectations were dis-placed, and it took time to come face-to-face with the mirror of God's Grace and Truth, which lovingly showed me the follies of my own selfishness, and exploded the Intimacy that God desires with me!

I hiked most mornings, and looking back, it was like going on walks with my Abba Father every day - I slowly saw more and more, how I respond/react to things I see, and don't put the correct emphasis on Trusting Him, and entering the Intimacy he longs to have with me.  This is a sweet spot!  And the Desert was a beautiful place to do this.  There is more.  For now,  you can see photos here.

Over the weekend, Julz and rented this movie, FourFeathers.  A little older period-piece movie, where a large part is set in the desert.  I found what the director said about his findings in the Desert very insightful.  Timely, because I recently returned from here, Joshua Tree, for a 3 day excursion/hiking/on the ground research, as I prepare to help with a 7-day experience in the Nat'l Park, as park of Wilderness LT, in the new year.  Here is what the director of Four Feathers had to say:

"  We had taken up the challenge to go out to shot in the desert, to out and sho how films used to be made, which is to go out and take on the challenge of the environment, and not sit in a room and re-creat the environment...You have no idea what the desert does to you.  When I first went there, I wanted to know what it was to be lost, to be truly alone in the desert, truly lost.  And I saw nothering , I heard nothing after awhile all I could hear was the sound of my breathing, and if I walked, the crunch of the ground or the sand underneath my feet.  And I looked around and there was nothing - and suddenly I realized what the desert does.  If you can overcome the fear of being lost, suddenly your minde explodes, because there is absolutely no external sensory perception.  And when all that is taken away from you, and only then, the internal becomes alive - and as soon as then, you have no choice but to listen inside... being in the desert forces you to think about yourself.  It forces you to do that - and that's what it did to each one of us."  - Shekhar Kapur, dir.

... As we covered over 30 miles in the park last week, this resonates with me, and I'm looking forward to the excursion in January.  Something else, I discoved a bone-white shell of one of these! Pretty wild, I'm used to by the rivers that i used to play in when I was a boy in Indiana... definitely not a desert.

This video by Sigur Ros for Glosoli is everywhere but I am still speechless. It's been a fresh reminder of what I dream about...

Click here... be amazed.

Rain!

For most of the country, especially recently, rain isn't welcome, or even a "surprise" -

So, it does make me feel weird to say - Surprise, Surprise! Its raining in LA!  - I can't even remember the last time it rained in LA, well... wait, last February/March when we had mud slides in the north Valley... I do know that the record rainfall for July is .24inches -  that's wild to me!

So, quite seriously, this rain is very refreshing.  It's like, in LA, the dust/crust builds up for weeks and weeks, then when this rain comes it just brings a softening and starts to wash away that layer of crust... it really amazes me just how amazing it feels!

Well, I can't help but think about how... an inch can mean so much to Southern California... it can mean so many good things, yet at the same time, there are hundreds that have fled or are fleeing, because many inches can mean "Ophelia" or "Katrina"...  The balance of things is really quite interesting.  It holds meaning.  One thing, that I see, is that it means - is God is... He is over everything.  I can think that "I'm in control" or "know what to expect", but life isn't about control, but, it seems to me, to be about trust.  and that trust in the right direction.  Then, it has seemed to me, when the rain comes it can be seen for all of it's glory. 

So that last post didn't work.

Well, I'm a Type 7, with an 8 wing,

what does that mean, check out the ennegraminstitute.com

I found it interesting - true.