Ho Ho Is it going to snow??  Okay so Whats up with evreybody when it comes to Christmas??  Why have we all forgotten to cherish every moment we have??  I have heard so many negative things this year that its unreal??  I just wish everyone would look inside their hearts and find Christmas , find that everyday is special.  We should be so thankful of the things we do have here instead of being dissappointed in what we don't have..  This is Christ's birthday why doesnt he deserve one good thankful party.  Have you ever notice that at this time of the year more people feel lonely, and depressed.  I don't have alot of material things never really have had the best of the best (except for my friends)and I figured out from that I wouldn't trade my lil piece on this earth for a bigger one.  I guess what Im getting at is money is tight for alot of people so gifts may be limited so why don't we give more of ourselves?? HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT IT?  wHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU GIVE TO SOMEONE THAT HAS EVERYTHING?  How bout a lil love & friendship?  Give with all your heart, give with out the reservation that you may get hurt because in the end of our journey what would you remember ?  Would it be a material gift or one that come from the heart?  So all of you remember I love you good & bad(buttheads). Remember that time here is short , remember if you are lonely this season its okay to cry, its okay to vent its okay to get angry, It's also okay to drop me a line and see if I can help give you what you are missing? 

Peace out!!

Hello !!  Its Sunday morning I am up early today because of ole Arthur that would Arthritis ha .  Did way to much yesterday so I suffer today but I had fun!.

I found out on Thursday 11/13 that I am now not a candidate for the Hip osteotomy they were wanting to perform. According to the Gurus from Baltimore, Arkansas, & Atlanta I dont have enough cartilidge left in the hip to perform that surgery.  Now after a year of waiting I am back to square one which is a hip replacement.  Maybe I can get a 2fer and get both done at the same time so I can be Bionic woman ?  Life is so not what we plan it to be is it??  Everyone I told about this was so aggravated with the outcome cause I ve been waiting a year but I was just kinda numb to it Thursday.  I was told you can continue to go as long as you want take your pain medicine and have the surgery when you want but I don't do hip replacements!!!  I can refer you to one of my associates that does 100 of them a month but the choice is yours let it be yours when you decide to do this.  wow please explain to me what you are suppose to do with that????   So now my question is do I go back to my original Dr here in MS or do I go with one of his partners. I think Friday morning I was having a reality check when Im brushing my teeth I look in the mirror and it hits me THIS SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am 37 yrs old and this is so not what I had planned..  I hurt like HELL and I am still dragging my butt to work when I really don't want to BUT then I remember my children and I think you have got to get it together and do this!!!   I  hate it but we learn when more when we are giving obstacles to overcome.  My mom said you have to be healthy to be able to take care of your children I said I know that but right now I think I will wait till closer to when school is out so I don't mess up their routine. And if any of you know them you would understand why..  Especially for my son !!!

 Friday was one busy day at work and you never know what God has in store for you and then it came.. I realized at 4:45pm why I was meant to go to work that day..  I received a phone call from a lady that had been involved in an accident in 2003 she was needing a medicare release form from a claim.  I don't know this lady I don't have her insurance but I just happened to be the one to answer the phone..  I explained to her that we were just an agents office and that I could not access that information for her but I would be happy to give her the number of the claims office so they could help her and she said okay well I don't have my stuff in here with me but give me the number maybe I can remember it I cant write it down because Im blind. WOW!!! Talk about put your priorities in place, so I said I tell you what I will put you on hold & dial the number for you & connect you doing a 3 way she said okay thanks, well I did that & I sat the phone down to go to a fax while she talked to claims & I came back to the phone & picked it up just to hear a claims receptionist say well  that claim has been closed and its in Archives and you will need to contact such & such I can't help you.  Id already heard this lady tell her Im blind I can't write the number down or the claims number & the claims receptionist basically told her I can't do anything more, so I stepped in and introduce myself to the receptionist & I asked for the claims number & the claim rep name & number she said well I dont have her number so I said I will just look her up in the system(keep in mind this is the same thing she could of done but chose not to) so I asked the lady Im trying to help to hold on but if we got disconnected to just hit redial on her phone  and  call me back wouldnt you know we did get disconnected and tried star 69 and got her phone number and called her back.  I tried the claims rep for her and  she wasn't in .  So I told her I will hang up the phone call the claim rep back & leave  a message for you & ask her to call you back & see if that would help & if she needed any help and lost our number she could just call information & they usually give our office number out first because we are the first one listed she said okay.  Then it came the validation I needed to hear that day,  she said what is your name I told her Tonya and she said Thank you so much you have been the only person that has helped me today!! There was my reason God gave me the strength to push through this morning, there was my reason to remember that he made me compassionate , there was my reason to remember little things can make a difference to others , there it was at the end of the day at closing time, that's why I went to work, that lady needed me to be there to answer that phone after she had called so many people to get help.  Isn't that sad, there is no telling how many others had turned her away & thought  not my problem, don't have to deal with it..  You see sometimes we are faced with situations in which we have a choice do we step out to lend a hand to someone we don't know or do we just turn away from it and walk away not realizing that there in that someone lies the blessing for us........ BE A DAYMAKER make someones day help someone out you could be the only person that does.  

My daughter Samantha has just been diagnosed with Scoliosis and 2 bulging disc and some kind of schmorl's node in the disck from where it has pushed out, she has been in alot of pain but she keeps on trucking I took her back to the dr in Mobile Thurs ( thats when he told me my news about the hip) He ordered a bone scan since her back pain has been going on since Sept when she fell he gave her some medicine to help her and we will wait to see what bone scan says, This I believe is another reason my situaion has been delayed I need to follow thru with her.    PLease pray for her...  

1. Remember you always have a choice to be a DAYMAKER not a DAYBREAKER.

2. LIFE is not always fair but there is a bigger plan behind it!!

3 Its okay to get frustrated, mad, & cry it helps you deal with your feelings!!

4. Cherish all your friends!!

5. Winning isn't everything but wanting to is!!..

6. Find something that gives you peace look beneath the surface!!!!!!!!!!!

7. I LOVE YOU ALL MOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay for those of you who I haven't talked to in awhile this is a refresher course on me.  The past 3 years have been a real challenge.  I lost my job after Katrina that I really loved and I miss it lots. It was challenging and I worked with alot of good people, we were definitely an odd collection of individuals but it worked!! I helped a friend out in his accounting office get caught up after hurricane and I loved it too but I knew it was only temporary.  I got another job working for a large Landscaping company that contracted for the casinos, it was interesting but it didnt last either .  So for the 1st time in my life I lost 3 jobs within a year which was not an easy thing to handle.     I'd been working since highschool and had never been in this position before.  So I just learned to breathe and let God handle it, which most of us know is a hard thing to do.  You have to be faithful enough to just say Okay Big Guy you just reminded me of how small I really am its back in your hands now. 

It worked to say the least my previous employer who I'd worked 13 years for called me and wanted me back and with some careful thought I went back to the insurance industry which we all know right now is not a fun place to be, but I figured its where God wanted me to go for a reason.  Well guess what He knew what he was doing because I started back in the later part of 06 and wouldnt you know I herniated another disc in my back and I had to have my 2nd back surgery in Jan 07.  I also was dealing with the fact that my best friend Sharon had just been diagnosed with Cervical Cancer and was given a poor prognosis. Alot of people may not know what her diagnosis did. It just leveled us!!!

I recovered from the back surgery to go on to have a total  in 09/07 myself due to endometriosis, so to all the females out there reading this please I cannot express it enough please go get your annual checkups!! It is so very important!!!!! Stay on top of your health, if you think something is wrong find a doctor who will listen to you and don't stop till you are satisfied...  

While recovering from my hysterctomy and crying on a daily basis inside because I felt so guilty that I could not do more for Sharon. Its just odd we were so close for so many years and here it is she was fighting for her life and I was struggling to maintain a semi normal one, sometimes you want to say why but you know GOD knew we both needed to learn to depend on other people instead of just each other, I guess he was preparing us for what would come in Dec 07. I was sitting at work when my baby Raven sent me the text I'd been dreading receiving, but it came.  You know when someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness you think okay we can handle this but losing her knocked some of the life out of me and her familt. There are still times today that I think oh let me call her and see what she thinks of this.. I still have her in my phone, stupid yes and Im sure she is laughing at me right now but she always knew I was the sentimental emotional one.  HAHA!! For those of you that read this, mend friendships, let the little things go, find time to keep in touch there are reasons God brings these people into your life they are lessons for us!! Take time to learn them... Pay attention..  Okay now that I have cried thru typing that part I will move on! 

I found out in Nov 07 that I have Adult Congenital HIP DYSPLASIA.  I went to a local well known doctor to have him tell me he couldn't find me help and he didnt want to just send me to another local dr because they would just do a hip replacement and at my age he didnt recommend it because Id have have another one in 15 to 20 years, so off I went to Mobile.  I went back to the Dr who did my first back surgery but also treated my daughter as a baby for hip dysplasia.  I trust him, he's honest and he said Id one the most interesting case of the year award!   Hooray for me !!! Anyway after sending everything off to another Dr at John Hopkins in Baltimore, I finally got an answer back just last month as well as issued my own wheelchair.HAHA!!  I have to options travel to Baltimore or go to Little Rock Arkansas, I chose Little Rock.  I cose that for distance and because thats where my Dr said he'd send his wife~! Gosh I hope he likes his wife I didnt ask him that !! HaHA  So now I wait again for all the red tape to get thru. I accept there is a reason for my wait.  Life is not easy for me its painful everyday. I still get up and go to work everyday because I refuse to give up but there are days I really want to.  I missed my highschool renuion because I couldnt walk the distance to get in there and I refused to show up in a rented wheel chair . Lesson learned Pride makes us miss alot of things!!!  Some days I have better ones than others, but somedays it feels like my thigh bone is shooting out the top of my thigh.. I get frustrated and aggravated because I can't do ALOT of the things I use to. It can be depressing and it can be humbling at the same time.  So know you have a small insught into my life over the past few years.. I actyally left out alot but oh well Im old I forget things haha !!     I still love you all MOST!!!!!!

T

PS I czannot be held responsible for any mispelled words or incorrect punctuation. Im old and medicated ha ha give me a break!!!!!!!!