Hello everyone, as of Thursday July 26 the world is without my Grandfather Robert Sloat. He and my grandmother were driving out to visit me in California. In Tulsa Oklahoma he was pulling off the freeway when he was T-boned by a dodge pickup. He was pronounced dead on the sceen and my grandmother is still in the hospital in Tulsa. For those of you who never met my Grandparents I'll tell you a story.

When I was 19 or 20 I dont remember exactly. I was hanging out at the Center Door coffee shop in Tiffin Ohio alot, some of you remember. I had a friend who came out to her parnets about being a lesbian during the x-mas season. Her family refused to let her participate in the family christmas. So I invited her to ours with my familys blessing, My grandparents welcomed her to ours with open arms and really made her feel like part of the family.

Now you know the kind of people I'm talking about.

Needless to say I will becoming home soon to help with the kind of things that need helping with, so I will be seeing you soon.

Alittle less than joyfull,
Bill

Due to the responses I've been getting about my Jesus Toast, some thought it was photo shop, others just wanted to know how. I'm about to reveal the secret to crafting your own holy relic.

what you'll need

1. some aluminum foil

2. a pin or knife

3. a printer

4. some kind of photo editing software

5. bread

6. a grill

CAUTION This Involves open flames and cutting with a kinfe


First You take a picture of me from my MySpace page put it into your photo editing software, and increase the contrast till its mostly white and black or two of whatever tone it happens to be.
Print that picture and place it over top some aluminum foil cut out the dark portions leaving some to hold in the center of the face
(tip if you double or triple the aluminum Foil the stencil will be easier to manipulate)
Gently Remove the cut out pieces of foil revealing you very first MySpace Jesus Toast Stencil
Take to Grill turn grill on med to high depends on grill
place stencil on grill
Place bread on stencil

Caution The stencil will get HOT, i know I burnt the shit outa my self

wait a few min remove what is now Jesus toast, wait till stencil cools be for removing it

Option you can fill in some of the lines with a lighter move quick or you'll burn to much this way

Enjoy, Impress your friends, freak out your family, you now are blessed with the knowledge of the Jesus Toast. If ya do make some post it I wanna see how ya did.

These are Some of the frequently asked questions I get about being Jesus.

1. Why am I here, you are here because you clicked on my portrait. Other than that, mostly it was a mistake Dad wanted an animal that started with H and he hadn't thought up the Hippopotamus yet.

2. What is the meaning of life the universe everything, easy 42.

3. Am I going to hell, well to be honest pretty much everybody stopped paying attention to Earth around the black plague.

4. Why do bad things happen to good people, well it used to be because they sucked in some way. Now we just aren't paying attention.

5. Why are you on MySpace, seemed as good a place as any.

6. Which Religion is the "right" one, people if you want facts look to science, if you want morals look to your parents, if you want peace look to your own heart, Religion is just a bunch of ideas that we thought were handy back in the day, there is no on e right religion.

7. Is there a God, yeah Dad and I used to fish every summer.

8. Do I think this is funny, hell yeah. I love Jokes about me.

OK so I have an interview tomorrow for a job to help me fill the gaps as I wait for more movie work to start. Normally I wouldn't mention it but the job I'm applying for is so outrageous half of you wont believe me. Now before I go on if you know my parents don't say anything I really don't want a lecture on why its wrong. I'm going to work as a driver/bodyguard for an escort service, LOL, thats right I'm gonna hang out with high end prostitutes all night and get paid for it. So yeah I know its not moral or maybe even ethical but I need the money and I'm not the escort so whats the harm. If you think I'm a sinner fine I'm pretty sure I am, but don't give me the whole hell speech, and I'm not having sex with them so don't give me the STD speech. If you are religious and you want to pray for me go ahead. If you're not religious and your single think about all the women I'll know when you bastards finally come to visit me, now think about the parties I'll throw.

Thats right,
~ Greek God Hefner ~

P.S.
If you don't hear porno music playing in you head right now, you suck.

Ok so I decided to try and quit smoking. I'm on my 4th day with out a smoke, and this is one of the hardest things I've ever done. Its like being hungry but no food sates your hunger the only thing that makes the dull ache go away is the sweet nicotine of a cigarette. Thats the only way I can describe it, my hands are shaking and I cant sleep for very long, I'm gonna stick it out though it can only get better from here.

So I thought I'd try on-line dating since I've hit a dry spell with the ladies. I go to e-harmony.com and fill out their personality test thing. The whole test takes me about an hour being as I am filling it out as honestly as possible. I spent time on each question thinking deep into myself to come up with the truest self image I could. I finish the test and continue on to my matches. Instead of matches I get a little screen with text that says "sorry we are unable to match you at this time". O.K. so now the internet is telling me I'm unmatchable. What the fuck I knew I was weird but the internet is rejecting me, WOW! This doesn't bode well for me does it, of all the things low down dirty things life has thrown at me this was below the belt, out of the millions of people who probably use e-harmony not one not a single match I'm talking world wide people. I guess its nothing I didn't know already it just sucks to be confirmed by the internet.

-ASUS A8N-deluxe SLI 939 motherboard
-2.4 Ghz Amd processor
-500w power supply
-16x DVDrw
-250g IDE Harddrive
-1 gig of ram
-Nvidia 512mb SLI graphics card
-soundblaster X-fi soundcard
-Belkin N1 wireless internet card
- 2 120mm case fans
- room to expand
- 3 more ram slots
- 1 more video card slot
- 2 PCIx1 slots
- 1 PCI slot

Ok, so I start painting again. I took about a six year break, and the most amazing painting I've ever done happens. "I posted a pic". My nextdoor neighbor is an art dealer, and she has asked that I put a portfolio together. It would take over a year to gather my old work and get pics of it all, considering its all over Ohio. As I finish paintings I will post them on here, and I ask you give me an unbiased 1-10 rating. 10 definitaly goes in a portfolio 1 should be thrown away. Be honest, I want your serious input.

I know its been a while since my last post been busy having new adventures to tell you all about.

As many of you know I took a long road trip last month where I drove from Ohio to L.A., I took a lot of old Rt. 66. Many of my current pics are from that road trip, but there is of course a story that those pics alone cannot tell.

There was alot of boring stuff, but some intresting things happened as well. So I'm going to skip over the boring stuff, and say only this. Get out of Ohio go for a long drive stop and do stupid stuff it doesnt matter where your going just go. You will not be dissapointed.

Ok on to the adventure part, I'll start in Texas since thats when stuff started to really happen. I was over the border into Texas maybe about 30 min when I decided to stop for something to eat. I stopped at a fast food joint in this small town and went inside. I am totaly serious when I say every guy in the place had a cowboy hat on there head. One look at me told them I wasn't from around there, and I heard the chatter of idle talk cease as soon as I got through the door. I went to the bathroom and was followed by a stream of subdued insults. Mainly commenting on how weird I looked, some said I might be gay, others just thought I was a hippy. I noitced a few guys staring me down pretty hard so I quickly left. I went back to my car whent through the drivethrough and didn't stop again til I got to the caddilac ranch (see pic). Now for those of you who dont know the caddilac ranch was originally set up to attract people to a diner and motel that was close to it. People started spraypainting the cars (see pic), and still do to this day even though the diner and motel are closed now.

On to New Mexico, Now New Mexico is a strange place, full of strange people. I stopped at a gas station and me and this old sandbilly "a hillbilly of the desert" where the only people in this town. Other than the station its self the rest of the town was in rubble. I talked to him for a little bit and found out I was the first human person he had talked to in 2 weeks. After leaving the gas station I drove on till it was well past dark. I evetually got tired and needed to pull over. Well being in the middle of the desert with no hotel in sight "I had stayed in one every night up to that point" I pulled into this reststop. I kicked the seat back and fell quickly asleep, for about 2 hours. At that point I hear some one knocking at my window. I wake up and see a woman standing outside my window. For about 5 min. I thought my luck was changing. It was I just didn't know how bad things where gonna get. I get out of my car "I forgot to grab my glasses which makes me about blind at this point, but grab my pocket knife for some reason" I shake her hand and realise how tall she is I'd say about 6' 4". Now in my defense I know women who are that tall, remember its in the middle of the night and I dont have my glasses on. She asked me if I wanted to go for a walk after talking to her for a few minutes. Still thinking she might be a woman I said yes, but I was begining to have my doubts. As we where walking I noticedfor the first time she had a heavy carhartt coat on concealing most of her upper body. In a flash I realise she could have anything hidden in the coat a knife, a gun, I coudn't tell either way. So I reach out and grab her hands not in a threating way just causually. At this point I want nothing to do with her but I'm to far away to make a dash for the safety of my car, not like I'd get far without my glasses on. Thats when she drops the bomb she propositions me. This is when I truely start to get scared. I know somethings up I'm not sure what, but I know I dont want any part of it. So I pull her close "she stunk like old garbage" and brush the back of my hands against her groin with her hands still in mine. She was a dude!!!!!!!!!!!! "like you didn't see that coming from a mile away". "It" quickly pulled my hands away from its groin area, and I take a step back. I'm still to far away to run to my car, so I keep control over its hands and keep it talking "it had to give up eventually". A little later it says it has to leave but will be back and I should wait on it. I said sure I'll be here I'll probally just go back to sleep. I walked it back to its car holding its hands the whole time. It got in its car and I headed for the bathroom "there was light and god help me maybe another person to help if things went further down hill". I went in the bathroom it was empty so I pulled out my pocket knife and waited, it wouldn't have done much but maybe enough. 15 min passed and I walked out of the bathroom and It was gone, knowing that it could come back at any time and maybe with friends. I ran to my car found my glasses and drove away very fast. I turned on the radio and the creapiest country music came on the radio that I have ever heard, like horror movie country music only worse. I spent the next 2 hours looking in my rearview mirrior driving off pure adrenaline till I got to a hotel.

more to come later but its not near as eventfull

The night sky in L.A. is a sickly orange color. It robs the stars of there brilliance. Yes I miss home some, I just wish I could of taken the night sky with me when I left.

In other news I'm sick for the fist time in many years just a cold but sick all the same. It turns out I wont be able to goto E3 this year its a media only event that means not open to the public. Things are still going well though I'm now a legal Cali driver so I can start doing all the things I so long to do first on my list is learn to surf, let ya know how that goes.

Bill