I am still all jacked up that I can blog from my phone.  I am sure people have been doing that since the 60's but it's new to me.  Also I just got a new hi-fi player and a pet rock.  The hi-fi is great it plays all of my Yardbird records just fine.  The pet rock isn't pottie trained you would think pet rock poop wouldn't be so runnie. maybe he ate a bad pebble or something.  wait that would make him a cannibal.  crap maybe he will try and eat me.  I'm freaking out right now.

no rachel ray today it's Saturday but I heard that on Monday the double R is going to make Pet Rock Pot Pie.... just not in that order.  hahahhahaha I just lol'd all over my face.

I know I have millions of readers around the globe but this blog is mostly Nashville based.  I know all of my readers in Montego Bay are freaking out right now.

This Friday I am headlining an awesome comedy show at the Bongo Java Theater near Belmont.  Weeee it's going to be fun. For more info go to this linky dinky http://www.mangydog.com/guest/ult052608.php

I had the pleasure of going to the Hickory Hollow mall over the long weekend.  I parked in the Dillard's parking garage.  The garage was lovely, there was trash flowing in the breeze and the smell of burnt hair filled my nostrils with pleasure.  There was a sign on the door that the mall hours are now 11-7 M-F and 12-6 on Sunday.  That seemed a bit odd to me until I walked into the mall area and noticed just about every store was out of business. 

When I first moved to Nashville in 1995 the Hickory Hollow mall was packed with stores people and you didn't feel like you were going to get stabbed all the time.  There was even a nice place to eat called Mick's inside the mall.  One time I had 11 vanilla cokes at Mick's, a record according to my server.  It was just sad to see the closed stores, the struggling few chain stores and the no name urban outfit stores that specialize in bright purple pin stripped suits and pre-owned FUBU sweatshirts.  The weird part about my visit to Hickory Hood (as the wife calls it) was to see the food court packed with people.  Everyone was eating, laughing and pointing at the birds that were flying around and eating lost fries.  The Food Court was a little slice of heaven and a little reminder that no matter how bad the economy gets people are not going to stop stuffing their fat face with fatty foods.  For those of you who have not been to the hickory hollow food court in sometime they still have 3 Chinese places with virtually the same menu and the same low health rating.

As I was writing this blog I got a very disturbing phone call from a co-worker.  They raised the prices of everything in the break room vending machine.  This is an outrage and I am going to start a boycott!!!

Today on Rachel Ray lost fry sparrow pie with a side order Tim Duncan Donuts. buuuuuuuuuurp

I hear a lot of "We have to save the planet" talk these days.  I gotta weird feeling the planet earth is going to be just fine I think people should start saying "we have to save ourselves"  Also going green sounds all cute but every globe I have ever looked at is mostly blue.  I'm going blue for now on!

Also I don't have kids so I really only need the earth to last around another 40 years or so...who am I kidding 5-10 years with this Wendy's rock n' roll life style.  I do recycle only because it's easier for me to recycle than it is to argue with the wife about why I like to throw plastic bottles in the garbage. 

Today on Rachel Ray double R prepares oil soaked sea gull tacos and Global Warmed over tortilla chips.

weeeeeeeeeeeeeee

So the NBA final four is set.  Why don't they make a big deal about their final four?  Maybe because we won't have a champ until the 3rd week of the NFL season?  The NBA playoffs are awesome and long, kind of like my......walk to the restroom at work.  ( I do get to walk by a snack machine and stacks of papers)

I learned this the hard way... never give the free mason hand shake to a teenage girl.  it means something totally different. 

Saw a 40 something year old woman at Target last night with a brand new tattoo on her neck.  I think it said Donna... I didn't want to stare at it too long it might have said dumbass... It should have said dumbass.(it kind of freaked me out.) who knows maybe the woman was younger than 40 and just had one of those hard lives I read about on the internet.

finally saw knocked up on the cable tv.  It wasn't a bad movie but I didn't LOL as much as people told me I would.  I may be Apatowed out for a while

today on Rachel Ray double R puts a gun to her head and threatens to make bad brain caserole.  too bad it was all a big joke and a teaser for her new show called Puked where RR makes horrible recipes and feeds them to the stars on hidden camera.  It's going to be a hoot