Is it okay to care less about your own birthday? My husband and my family keep bugging me about it, but this year for some reason I just don't feel very festive. I really just kinda want to be left alone. I hate the fact that evryone around me is much younger than I am and I'm only now just going to be 21!!!! I feel like my life is just fleeting away and I don't have anything to show for it. I'm poor and can't afford to go anywhere or do anything and I'm kinda depressed about my schooling situation. I'm ashamed that I am still at a junior college!!!! I had to drop the only class I liked from getting my associates because I'm obviously an idiot and was going to fail it. The thought never occured to me that I wasn't going to be able to take it in the spring because it wasn't offered!!! I think my parents are ashamed of this fact to!!!  I wish I was as smart as my older sister was. I feel like I'm just flopping around. I wish she was still here to help her loser sister. She probably would be ashamed of me too. I'm not happy with myself.