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Kathy

Last Updated: 12/21/2009

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Status: Married
Sign: Cancer

Country: US
Signup Date: 7/30/2006

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February 22, 2009 - Sunday

This is too funny not to share
Current mood:

amused
Category: Fashion, Style, Shopping

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xv7REV2HEY
That audience must have been in tears. lol

2:05 PM

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September 13, 2008 - Saturday

Making a Baby
Current mood:

amused
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

Making A Baby !!

This is hilarious! There is not one dirty word in it, and it is
funny.

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a
surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father
was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well,
I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby
photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...'

'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've
been expecting you.'

'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did
you know babies are my specialty?'

'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and
have a seat'.

After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'

'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on
the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the
living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'

'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry
and me!'

'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But
if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven
angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'

'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.

'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to
be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed
with that.'

'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of
his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.

'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider
their mother was so difficult to work with.'

'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.

'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get
the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep
to get a good look'

'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours,
too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could
hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my
shots.

Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just
had to pack it all in.'

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on
your, uh...equipment? '

'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my
tripod and we can get to work right away.'

'Tripod?'

'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's
much too big to be held in the hand very long.'

                                       Mrs. Smith fainted!

8:12 AM

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August 28, 2008 - Thursday

You should be dancin’
Current mood:

bouncy

Yaeh!

Ha ha, A classic blast from the past with the Bee Gees. Love this old stuff. Get's you up and your feet and moving.

Try it for a few minutes each day, and tell me dancing does not raise the adrenelin to some degree.

Remember: A body in Motion stays in motion.

Now I realize, not everyone likes the sounds of disco house. There is such a variety of tunes out there with great beats. Soooooo, Pick your favorites and have some fun!

9:18 PM

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August 26, 2008 - Tuesday

Thoughts to Ponder
Current mood:

adventurous

Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2008

Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8
Men have two emotions:

Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day,

teach a person to use the internet

and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky ....

Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile

when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,

lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather.

It pays no attention to Criticism.

Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00

and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?

Number 2
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.

Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

And The Number 1 Thought For 2008 :

We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Immigration?

2:20 AM

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August 5, 2008 - Tuesday

adversity?
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

Click Here To Watch

Live with Passion,

Mac Anderson
Founder, Simple Truths

1:49 PM

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July 27, 2008 - Sunday

I’m Posting this ANYWAY- a good reminder
Category: Life

♥♥♥♥♥

People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest person with the biggest ideas can be
shot down by the smallest person with the smallest mind.
Think big anyway.
What you spend years building may
be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack if you help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have
and you might get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
- Anonymous

3:26 PM

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July 25, 2008 - Friday

Weekend Inspiration
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

If your actions inspire others to dream more,
learn more, do more and become more,
you are a leader.
John Quincy Adams

8:47 PM

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April 6, 2008 - Sunday

Heaven VS Hell
Current mood:

fabulous
Category: Life

..TR> ..TABLE>

3:44 PM

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Heaven VS Hell

A holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said, "Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like."

The Lord led the holy man to two doors. He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in.

In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew which smelled delicious and made the holy man’s mouth water.

The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly, however, and appeared to be famished.

They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped to their arms and could easily reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful, but because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths.

The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering.

The Lord said, "You have just seen Hell."

They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one. There was a large round table with a large pot of stew which made the holy man’s mouth water.

The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking.

The holy man said, "I don’t understand."

"It is simple," said the Lord. "It requires but one skill. You see, they have learned to feed each other, while the greedy think only of themselves."