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T tarbox kiersted


Last Updated: 5/8/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Single
Age: 45
Sign: Libra

City: AUSTIN
State: Texas
Country: US
Signup Date: 6/29/2005

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[20 Dec 2006 | Wednesday] 

Current mood:Kinky
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural

 

saw narnia (witch, wardrobe, &c.) last night, went right home and had the kinkiest dreams about the ice queen.

[14 Nov 2006 | Tuesday] 

my my. i'm still more active at last fm. look me up there, pretty please? i write a lot in  my journal over there.

[20 Jul 2006 | Thursday] 

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Our doubts about ourselves cannot be banished except by working at that which is the one and only thing we know we ought to do. Other people's assertions cannot silence the howling dirge within us. It is our talents rusting unused within Us that secrete the poison of self-doubt into our bloodstream.

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The most important point is - and remains - not to take oneself seriously. There is no past, and, certainly, no future.  There are but a few years- 10 at the most. You pass your days as best you can, doing as little harm as possible. Let the desires be few and treat expectations as weeds. You read, scribble as the spirit moves you, hear some new music, see every week the few people you are attached to. Again: guard yourself I above all, against self-dramatization, a feeling of importance, and the sprouting of expectations.

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It is precisely because we can never really know ourselves, but only guess, that we are so vehement about the good and the evil ascribed to us by others. In maintaining ourselves against all comers, we are maintaining something that is unknown, uncertain, and never wholly provable. We need a chorus of consent, and we are engaged in an unceasing proselytizing campaign on our own behalf. 

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The only key in deciphering others is our self. And considering how obscure this self is and how dim our awareness of it, the use of it as a key in deciphering others is like using hieroglyphics to decipher hieroglyphics.

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It is not good for our efforts at self-realization to know the opinions other people have of us. It is difficult or impossible to be ourselves if we are known.

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To think of oneself is not only, as Gide said, counter-revolutionary but also apostasy and, at certain times, treason.

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[17 Jan 2006 | Tuesday] 

Current mood:  guilty
Category: Automotive
fragments of a dream in which i was being beaten and kicked senseless by this gang of guys from the stage of some emo's-like club -- and finding myself not minding the beating all that much but trying to recall if anyone had mentioned whether i'd be paid or not.
Currently listening:
+ / -
Release date: 1997-02-04
[09 Jan 2006 | Monday] 

wind up bird chronicle uses mysterious and subconcious strategies to reveal things about me that i'm still unsure how to name or conciously make use of.

increasingly, i think naming them or knowing consciously how to make use of them is less than irrelevant, but the attempt to name or use might be counterproductive completely.

[15 Nov 2005 | Tuesday] 
[02 Aug 2005 | Tuesday] 

On the web today I read that:

In 1995, North Korea entertained a delegation from World Championship Wrestling, who were invited there to perform. Among the wrestler group was some guy named Ric Flair, and oddly Mohammed Ali. Flair wrote up his stories and published them.

Among his tales, there is this

Because of the ravages of Parkinson's disease, it was difficult to understand Muhammad Ali when he spoke. But at one function, we were sitting at a big, round table with a group of North Korean luminaries when one of the guys started rambling on about the moral superiority of North Korea, and how they could take out the United States or Japan any time they wanted. Suddenly, Ali piped up, clear as a bell, "No wonder we hate these motherf*ckers."

Currently listening:
Hits & Misses Muhammad Ali & the Ultimate Sound of Fist Fighting
By Various Artists
Release date: 10 May, 2005
[21 Jul 2005 | Thursday] 

Current mood:Topsy-turvy

"The compulsion to take ourselves seriously is in inverse proportion to our creative capacity. When the creative flow dries up, all we have left is our importance."

- Eric Hoffer

Currently listening:
Hello, I'm Johnny Cash [CBS]
By Johnny Cash
Release date: 22 February, 2005
[18 Jul 2005 | Monday] 

Current mood:klezmer-bound

i have put my life into a period of flux, upheaval, and radical transformation.

while all of this was overdue downright inevitable, it doesn't come without it's particular costs.

but then again, piper-paying has never before felt so right or easy.

Currently listening:
Live at the Witch Trials
By Fall
Release date: 27 January, 2004
[13 Jul 2005 | Wednesday] 

Current mood:wretched.

Mon AM: Just fine.

Mon Noonish: Unaccountably tired.

Mon 6 PM: sick + wretching everywhere

Mon 8 PM: Phenegran then sleep.

Tue 5 PM: wake up, misery

Tue 7 PM:  Sleep.

Wed. 10 AM: wake up. Misery.

Now Wed. 1:50 PM, awake, wretching, misery.

 

blehhh.