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The realm of true Insanity

Chris Voss

Chris Voss


Last Updated: 11/3/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 19
Sign: Scorpio

City: Hebron
State: Indiana
Country: US
Signup Date: 3/11/2006

Blog Archive
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Monday, November 02, 2009 

Category: Art and Photography
If only you could see through my eyes,
revel in the memories of my past,
watch as everything dies,
as nothing ever lasts.

The good, the bad, the guilt, the harsh,
It's all the same
Oh, the things I've gone through,
Who am I to blame?

What the future holds,
It seems to mirror my broken past
lost in absolute confusion
life goes by pretty fast.

As time weathers on,
I try to remain strong,
but it all just wounds me,
What have I done wrong?

Empty thoughts swarming through my head
Emotionless as a rock,
Everyone feels this pain,
It's nothing I can't block.

I never wanted this
the death that comes with life,
The depression with the happiness
It's like being stabbed with a knife.

I am not helpless,
I will still carry on,
I hope things will get better,
Let's hope I'm not wrong.








Tuesday, October 20, 2009 

Current mood:Poetic
Painted Black
On a silhouette of of sorrows
Broken mirrors
Fortell the future of tomorrow
Ultraviolet light
Burns a path of destruction
The reaper carries out
All of deaths construction
Hopelessness
Burning through the thoughts of all
All of mankind
Going to take the fall
This is chaos at its finest
This is life at its worst
No more happy endings
Everything is cursed
Angels start falling
From the wondrous gates of light
Everyone is fearful
So full of helpless fright
Planes crash
Into an ocean of fire
Everything lost,
All that we desire
Buildings burning
And falling to the ground
Nothing here
No one can be found

The end is near..........
The end is here..........

Thursday, October 15, 2009 

Current mood:  ashamed
So this definately gonna be one messed up blog.

So this is it, this is what it all comes down to. I've finally made the decision to better myself, to stop all the bullshit thats been going on. I've been on the WRONG road for the longest time now and it's time I started moving on the right one. It's time for me to make my life simple again, no more running. No more drugs, No more alcohol, just straight friends and family. This has been tearing me up inside for the longest time now and its time it stopped. The lies I've lived in are now coming to an end. I need to be the man I truly want to be. No more secrets no more lies. The truth is coming out. I'm tired of never being good enough, I'm tired of ALWAYS doing the wrong things. As of this moment on I am on the Road To Salvation. I'm going to completely clean up my act. I'm going to get new friends, spend more time with my family, work, go to college, and do everything I'm supposed to. I've been lying to my dad ever since I got back from AIT and I'm fucking sick of it. A little piece of me dies inside everytime I disappoint my father, or anyone else close in the family. Its time I set things straight with everyone. I want nothing to do with drugs, alcohol, crime, or anyone associated with those things. I want to be a better person and I know I can be. My ONE hope is that my dad see's the change in me. I hope to god that he see's I want to be better. I want to be honest with him. I want to be there for him when he needs it the most, instead of going out and getting fucked up every night so I can run from all the things I'm afraid of. I'm done running. It's time I finally grew up.  I just want my father to love me, and respect all the decisions I make, to know I'm doing the right things, to know I'm cleaning up my act. Thats all I hope.
Tuesday, May 05, 2009 

Current mood:Poetic
Sap my strength
Siphon my veins
Drain my body
My sould still remains

Go ahead and torture me
Test my will to survive
Try to stop my breathing
I'll still be alive

Go after my weaknesses
Take my family and friends
Take my possesions
My heart always mends

Decapitate me
I'll never die, NEVER!
Rip my heart out
My soul will live forever

You cannot break me
So don't even try
I'll be as strong as I am now
Even after I "die"

You can never truly kill me
Not my spirit, not my soul
You can question my motives
But I'll always know my role

Strike me down
I will not falter
My spirit, My soul
You can NEVER alter


Monday, May 04, 2009 

Current mood:  artistic
Category: Life
I don't want your sorries,
I don't want your apologies.
I don't want your goodbyes,
I don't want these memories.

I don't want this pain,
I don't want it anymore.
I don't want your lies,
You should have thought of this before.

I don't want to worry,
I don't want to cry.
I don't want to say goodbye,
And I don't want to die.

I want this life
I want this love
looking down upon me
from heaven above

I want the truth
I want my friends
I'll sacrifice myself
Until this world ends

I want salvation
I want to fly
I want to see your face
just one last time

And most of all.... I want you to remember me.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009 

Current mood:  contemplative
So, I've gotten this far in my life, I'm 18 now and just wanted to remeniss about the past. I've lost some great friends and family members up to now and I have to say, I don't regret not seeing them or spending time with them because I always did. I still love those that I have lost and I know they are in a better place. I've had alot of ups and downs up till now too. I've gotten in trouble with the cops, Joined the military, and tried some things I've never tried before. Honestly, I don't really have any major regrets. My dad and I have seemed to grow closer and closer whether were fighting or not. I'm afraid to lose him and he is afraid to lose me. I still love him to death, but he makes me mad sometimes. I've also grown closer to my cousin Megan. I don't know what I'd do without her. We have had some fun times, even when we were getting into trouble together. It's been a good run Megan. A couple of more people I couldn't really do anything without are my best friend Kevin Hathaway and of course Jessie Winship. You two are absolutely awesome. We always do crazy and funny stuff together. Thanks a million guys.  Well, after I graduate on the 4th of June I'm off to AIT for the military and after that is unkown. I realize that after this year, everything could change. I just hope its for the better. I'll have to deal without some of my loved ones for a while, but I think I'll make it through all this. I thank all of you who have made a huge impact on my life. I also need to mention Matt Lungwitz and Darren Scroggins. You two have guided me through some of my hardest times. Your advice has always helped me and you have both been there when I needed someone. I thank you both very very much. Well thanks for reading the blog guys, and even if you didn't thanks for being my friend on myspace.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009 

Current mood:  artistic
Category: Life



Wednesday, January 21, 2009 

Current mood:  blissful
Category: Life
No longer, am I hollow

No longer, am I lost

No longer, am I running

No longer, must I pay the cost.

My soul was once desolate,

so lonely and dark inside,

Now my soul thrives,

No longer, do I hide

No one has helped me

become this way

I live life to the fullest

each and every day

I love my life

despite the bad inside

I'll go on with it

and I'll enjoy the ride.
Monday, September 29, 2008 

Current mood:  calm

A body of steel and an expression of stone

A warrior of age nineteen travels alone

Through the mist and the trees that stand tall

He walks on and his eyes see through it all

His military uniform covered by rain

He's got nothing to lose and all to gain

The soldier's M16 is all he's got,

Not a sleeping bag nor a nice green cot

He believes what he's doing is right

He will run all day and march all night

The hairs on his head begin to feel cold

No cap on his head he still remains bold

Some think he's honestly going to die

And others think he is living a lie

He just ignores them and continues to walk

Ever aware like an airborne hawk

God is with him and so are his friends

He knows that life begins as childhood ends

Serving his country with a feeling of luck

He strides on and finally finds a truck

He checks his surroundings but no one is there

The truck bed is empty so he does what is fair

He lies down and begins to go to sleep

                            Good thing for Blake, the pay is not cheap
Monday, September 29, 2008 

Current mood:  accomplished

Caught in your eyes for all eternity as red and white rose petals fall from the sky. Shadows swimming through the night as I'm trapped in your warm embrace. The stars almost spinning with an erie white glow, now feeling almost as if I could fly.  Surrounded by a cloud of feathers as I see the smile upon your face. Floating in a room with no walls and my head feeling so light. Happiness overwhelms my body as we dance into the night. Your lips seem so soft as we kiss on a barbed wire plain. Dizzy with confusion and happiness while lying on your bed.  Running in water with a heavy heart, feeling as if you could faint at any moment. Captivated by this unknown world where nothing seems to make sense. The feelings I feel can't be explained but I am completely entranced. The love we share, a synthetic form of morphine for me almost drowning in the tears of joy upon our faces. This feeling, so unreal so paranormal and abstract, but I would loathe in its beauty forever. No care that the floor we stand upon melts into a world of passion and love. So much beauty, so much to be fascinated by. Somewhere new to explore. A world of everlasting happiness. Eternally floating and spinning into the people we want to become. Husband and wife.