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Monday, November 02, 2009
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Category: Art and Photography
If only you could see through my eyes, revel in the memories of my past, watch as everything dies, as nothing ever lasts.
The good, the bad, the guilt, the harsh, It's all the same Oh, the things I've gone through, Who am I to blame?
What the future holds, It seems to mirror my broken past lost in absolute confusion life goes by pretty fast.
As time weathers on, I try to remain strong, but it all just wounds me, What have I done wrong?
Empty thoughts swarming through my head Emotionless as a rock, Everyone feels this pain, It's nothing I can't block.
I never wanted this the death that comes with life, The depression with the happiness It's like being stabbed with a knife.
I am not helpless, I will still carry on, I hope things will get better, Let's hope I'm not wrong.
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Tuesday, October 20, 2009
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Current mood:Poetic
Painted Black On a silhouette of of sorrows Broken mirrors Fortell the future of tomorrow Ultraviolet light Burns a path of destruction The reaper carries out All of deaths construction Hopelessness Burning through the thoughts of all All of mankind Going to take the fall This is chaos at its finest This is life at its worst No more happy endings Everything is cursed Angels start falling From the wondrous gates of light Everyone is fearful So full of helpless fright Planes crash Into an ocean of fire Everything lost, All that we desire Buildings burning And falling to the ground Nothing here No one can be found
The end is near.......... The end is here..........
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Thursday, October 15, 2009
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Current mood:  ashamed
So this definately gonna be one messed up blog.
So this is it, this is what it all comes down to. I've finally made the decision to better myself, to stop all the bullshit thats been going on. I've been on the WRONG road for the longest time now and it's time I started moving on the right one. It's time for me to make my life simple again, no more running. No more drugs, No more alcohol, just straight friends and family. This has been tearing me up inside for the longest time now and its time it stopped. The lies I've lived in are now coming to an end. I need to be the man I truly want to be. No more secrets no more lies. The truth is coming out. I'm tired of never being good enough, I'm tired of ALWAYS doing the wrong things. As of this moment on I am on the Road To Salvation. I'm going to completely clean up my act. I'm going to get new friends, spend more time with my family, work, go to college, and do everything I'm supposed to. I've been lying to my dad ever since I got back from AIT and I'm fucking sick of it. A little piece of me dies inside everytime I disappoint my father, or anyone else close in the family. Its time I set things straight with everyone. I want nothing to do with drugs, alcohol, crime, or anyone associated with those things. I want to be a better person and I know I can be. My ONE hope is that my dad see's the change in me. I hope to god that he see's I want to be better. I want to be honest with him. I want to be there for him when he needs it the most, instead of going out and getting fucked up every night so I can run from all the things I'm afraid of. I'm done running. It's time I finally grew up. I just want my father to love me, and respect all the decisions I make, to know I'm doing the right things, to know I'm cleaning up my act. Thats all I hope.
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Tuesday, May 05, 2009
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Current mood:Poetic
Sap my strength Siphon my veins Drain my body My sould still remains
Go ahead and torture me Test my will to survive Try to stop my breathing I'll still be alive
Go after my weaknesses Take my family and friends Take my possesions My heart always mends
Decapitate me I'll never die, NEVER! Rip my heart out My soul will live forever
You cannot break me So don't even try I'll be as strong as I am now Even after I "die"
You can never truly kill me Not my spirit, not my soul You can question my motives But I'll always know my role
Strike me down I will not falter My spirit, My soul You can NEVER alter
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Monday, May 04, 2009
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Current mood:  artistic
Category: Life
I don't want your sorries, I don't want your apologies. I don't want your goodbyes, I don't want these memories.
I don't want this pain, I don't want it anymore. I don't want your lies, You should have thought of this before.
I don't want to worry, I don't want to cry. I don't want to say goodbye, And I don't want to die.
I want this life I want this love looking down upon me from heaven above
I want the truth I want my friends I'll sacrifice myself Until this world ends
I want salvation I want to fly I want to see your face just one last time
And most of all.... I want you to remember me.
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Wednesday, April 29, 2009
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Current mood:  contemplative
So, I've gotten this far in my life, I'm 18 now and just wanted to remeniss about the past. I've lost some great friends and family members up to now and I have to say, I don't regret not seeing them or spending time with them because I always did. I still love those that I have lost and I know they are in a better place. I've had alot of ups and downs up till now too. I've gotten in trouble with the cops, Joined the military, and tried some things I've never tried before. Honestly, I don't really have any major regrets. My dad and I have seemed to grow closer and closer whether were fighting or not. I'm afraid to lose him and he is afraid to lose me. I still love him to death, but he makes me mad sometimes. I've also grown closer to my cousin Megan. I don't know what I'd do without her. We have had some fun times, even when we were getting into trouble together. It's been a good run Megan. A couple of more people I couldn't really do anything without are my best friend Kevin Hathaway and of course Jessie Winship. You two are absolutely awesome. We always do crazy and funny stuff together. Thanks a million guys. Well, after I graduate on the 4th of June I'm off to AIT for the military and after that is unkown. I realize that after this year, everything could change. I just hope its for the better. I'll have to deal without some of my loved ones for a while, but I think I'll make it through all this. I thank all of you who have made a huge impact on my life. I also need to mention Matt Lungwitz and Darren Scroggins. You two have guided me through some of my hardest times. Your advice has always helped me and you have both been there when I needed someone. I thank you both very very much. Well thanks for reading the blog guys, and even if you didn't thanks for being my friend on myspace.
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Wednesday, March 25, 2009
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Current mood:  artistic
Category: Life
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Wednesday, January 21, 2009
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Current mood:  blissful
Category: Life
No longer, am I hollowNo longer, am I lostNo longer, am I runningNo longer, must I pay the cost.My soul was once desolate, so lonely and dark inside,Now my soul thrives,No longer, do I hideNo one has helped mebecome this wayI live life to the fullesteach and every dayI love my lifedespite the bad insideI'll go on with itand I'll enjoy the ride.
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Monday, September 29, 2008
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Current mood:  calm
A body of steel and an expression of stone
A warrior of age nineteen travels alone
Through the mist and the trees that stand tall
He walks on and his eyes see through it all
His military uniform covered by rain
He's got nothing to lose and all to gain
The soldier's M16 is all he's got,
Not a sleeping bag nor a nice green cot
He believes what he's doing is right
He will run all day and march all night
The hairs on his head begin to feel cold
No cap on his head he still remains bold
Some think he's honestly going to die
And others think he is living a lie
He just ignores them and continues to walk
Ever aware like an airborne hawk
God is with him and so are his friends
He knows that life begins as childhood ends
Serving his country with a feeling of luck
He strides on and finally finds a truck
He checks his surroundings but no one is there
The truck bed is empty so he does what is fair
He lies down and begins to go to sleep Good thing for Blake, the pay is not cheap
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Monday, September 29, 2008
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Current mood:  accomplished
Caught in your eyes for all eternity as red and white rose petals fall from the sky. Shadows swimming through the night as I'm trapped in your warm embrace. The stars almost spinning with an erie white glow, now feeling almost as if I could fly. Surrounded by a cloud of feathers as I see the smile upon your face. Floating in a room with no walls and my head feeling so light. Happiness overwhelms my body as we dance into the night. Your lips seem so soft as we kiss on a barbed wire plain. Dizzy with confusion and happiness while lying on your bed. Running in water with a heavy heart, feeling as if you could faint at any moment. Captivated by this unknown world where nothing seems to make sense. The feelings I feel can't be explained but I am completely entranced. The love we share, a synthetic form of morphine for me almost drowning in the tears of joy upon our faces. This feeling, so unreal so paranormal and abstract, but I would loathe in its beauty forever. No care that the floor we stand upon melts into a world of passion and love. So much beauty, so much to be fascinated by. Somewhere new to explore. A world of everlasting happiness. Eternally floating and spinning into the people we want to become. Husband and wife.
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