i don't do well in real life
the lines aren't as easy to write on

with paper
it's simple
no judges
no jury

no wondering
no worry

just letting go

son
you have worlds to conquer

in play pen huts
on living room floors
with blankets covered in color and smile

while you dream
no one can diminish your future

you are not tainted
no amount of - you'll never be able's
or
don't even try's
will keep you from exploration

everything is an adventure

from your fingers grabbing my nose
to the
ceiling fan and lamp
you have every bit of knowledge to soak

in the bath tub
the water is an ocean
wondering just what type of trips you will take me on
when you begin crawling on the floor

so i clean them thoroughly
like cleaning out my thoughts
my words
my actions

i don't want to take my negative past
and leave them as a stain on the hands of your future

your life simple

no yards to mow
golf game to improve
bills to pay on the kitchen table
employer to impress
or classes to pass

the math is only
this plus that
how much further must your fingers go to wrap...
and collect your treasure


your hopes
not needed

for right now
everything is possible

no insecurities
to keep you from not being able to try

not a thought of what we will think
how long i will be there for you
or
lack of attention to your needs

your smile
causes global warming
ice caps melt
when you jump and spread your arms to grab my ears

adults
we old people
always make life so much more difficult
it takes a baby boy
to help become a grown man

because father
is more than a word
it is actions laced in intention

putting my wants and needs
digging a hole
and burying them
to plant yours to grow

you see
me

i never take advantage
of the advantages i have

always taking for granted
what i never had to grab

because it was all given

driven by what selfishness i create

i think that since i own my home
and picket fence
that i no longer have to mow the lawn

fond and content

no longer have to bend my emotions...


you see
on first dates
we give great first impressions

look up lessons on the world wide web
study in books for the test that is the first dinner
hoping to pass

talking of who we were
while trying so hard to hide who we are

if you show the scars
most would take a moment to decide if they want to continue on

so we
on that first time
hoping it will not be the last time
pray that our scars do not scare the one we want away

praying for the next date or day we can woo them into submission

to be given permission to love someone
and for them to love back
is a high wall to climb

you try and you try to find the strength to make it to the top
while leaving the fear behind
so you climb

continuing on slowly so you won't fall

because we never want to be broken
pain
emotionally
is worse then being cut deeply by a knife

in the past
i did not write nice
i wrote wrongs

writing wrongs in hyrogliphics
prayed for that day when the right person would come along
and interpret

rub away the dust lightly
for i am brittle

we humans are brittle

we as individuals want to pull that individual we want to be close to
closer

using parts of ourselves
to fish for the whole of another

when people say there's
"no pun intended"
then the pun is intended

after awhile
it all
gets old

so cold are the words
that barely give life

when you have no striking heights to pursue

when you
resort to
the notebook that has been repeated time and time again

the pages worn
faded and torn
placed on your desktop bins

every once in awhile throwing in
that occasional new stanza

but it is almost like watching reruns of Bonanza on TBS
yes
their is nothing new under the sun
but don't let that keep you from planting new seeds

in far away lands
take your feet and plant hands
where no one else has believed they could go

it may take time
you may be slow
but know
that the time you take

the deeper the roots can be planted

granted
that nothing said
is greater than one or the other

whether you are judged on a stage by five
stand erect live
in front of many
while you deliver on a stage

never think that your words are printed on a better pages
then others who do the same

because in the end
it is all just a game
and all that matters is that you played
and the better you are
when you could care less who is watching

I wonder, when everyone boast about the glass being half full or even half empty - they never ask "What's in it?"

son
you have worlds to conquer

in play pen huts
on living room floors
with blankets covered in color and smile

while you dream
no one can diminish your future

you are not tainted
no amount of - you'll never be able's
or
don't even try's
will keep you from exploration

everything is an adventure

from your fingers grabbing my nose
to the
ceiling fan and lamp
you have every bit of knowledge to soak

in the bath tub
the water is an ocean
wondering just what type of trips you will take me on
when you begin crawling on the floor

so i clean them thoroughly
like cleaning out my thoughts
my words
my actions

i don't want to take my negative past
and leave them as a stain on the hands of your future

your life simple

no yards to mow
golf game to improve
bills to pay on the kitchen table
employer to impress
or classes to pass

the math is only
this plus that
how much further must your fingers go to wrap...
 and collect your treasure


your hopes
not needed

for right now
everything is possible

no insecurities
to keep you from not being able to try

not a thought of what we will think
how long i will be there for you
or
lack of attention to your needs

your smile
causes global warming
ice caps melt
when you jump and spread your arms to grab my ears

adults
we old people
always make life so much more difficult
it takes a baby boy
to help become a grown man

because father
is more than a word
it is actions laced in intention

putting my wants and needs
digging a hole
and burying them
to plant yours to grow

So I will be off work beginning Fri 12/19 until Jan 3 2009
Anyone want to hang out?
Hit me ;P

'is this your true story'
Benjamin Hughes
Copyright © 12/12/08

if you could dream
another day of your life
would you make trails different

would you change your path
alter your direction

if you had the insight to rearrange the sections of your story
would you
have the strength

what length would be the chapters
of your life
would they detail strife

your pages
would they outline your knife you use to cut open your chest
and have your heart be shown

as others see
would the words mirror what is inside of your thoughts

behind what you tell people
far behind the cutains of the show that you present

lay the mask
the costumes
the shadows you represent while others are not watching

when asked your honest answers
will you wonder

can you stand corrected

or have you lied so long
tried to be so strong

that you cannot tell the reality from the show

the art of letting go
is a lonely place to live

can you give
everything
with the understanding you will get nothing

in return will be your sanity
the gift of nightmares running away

will you stay in your loneliness

or will you take a chance at a play
that has yet to be authored
a one-man show

showing the soul left open

"suit and tie"
Benjamin Hughes

for my beginning years after starting to work in the real world (per say)
on ironing boards
I would neatly press all my shirts and slacks
usually on the weekends

would hear from people
about how they took everything to the cleaners
pressed, starched and dry cleaned

i was never the one to do such a thing
I had the time so I did it myself

Sundays  
I would get everything ready for the week
maybe have a little time for television
this way
I would not have to do so much
rush during the days

it is not as easy to do so now
old habits are old habits for a reason
those habits get tired too
their bones ache and those habits
they may be forgetful at times
so it is hard to get back into them

last night I found myself in my basement
getting ready to get ready
intending to iron one sweater

ended up continuing with the other sweaters, shirts, pants, etc
it was relaxing

we all have certain things that take absolutely no thought
these actions allow our minds to be completely blank
void of worry
what may have happened over the course of a day or
what we have to face for the next

for me
it is washing the dishes
scrubbing them clean by hand when I know I could just as easily place them in the dishwasher
or  
mowing the lawn
trying to get the last track of lines in a yard perfectly aligned
careful not to damage the baby tree that has so much to look forward to

even when
washing the car
vacuuming it out
taking the towel to remove gook
from all the nooks and crannies
detailing the details

I believe we need those parliamentary events

events that we have power to contain
remove what we will
when we will

if at no other time
we can feel right

we as individuals are not in control of everything that happens to us
sometimes we try so hard to have that control
that we press to hard and become sprained

we can control our reactions
we can control some of the things within our own space

I don't wear starched shirts and well-designed ties as much as I use to
my shoes have no need to impress my co-workers as much as they needed to in the past
every event and interaction in my life
I do not always get right

but my space
I am in need
to get it right

so I will clean the car
mow the lawn and
wash the dishes

because those are the parliamentary moments
that are needed