well..this is a surprise...i mean..im trying to forget you...and i thought that we are officially ignoring each other?

then...how come you tell me that you wanna spend my bday with me? it comes as a surprise coz...you've never said that to me before...and i do appreciate the thought...it's just that...after i told yvonne about it...she did advise that...if i do go out with you...even if im with a group of my mates...(ok...this comes as a strict warning)...i'll have an even harder time to forget you...yea....it might be true...but...i do miss you..and i havent seen you in like..what...months? argh....im gonna listen to yvonne...and im also not gonna listen to her..well..maybe i just wanna see you for one last time...then...i wont think about you...i hope...but...like yvonne said...it'll probably be even harder to forget...but...im willing to risk that...yvonne...you may be disappointed at me when you read this...but...ima still do it...just to forget her totally..ya...that's what i intend to do...

anyways...yea..this entry is supposed to be an update...ah well...what can i say...we had dragonboating last tuesday...for team building...and it was 100% FUN....those who missed out...well...too bad then...hahaha...it rained towards the end...but we still had fun...we played in the rain...and it's been a long time since i played in the rain...and what's more? i played with some of my closest friends...it's too bad clem wasnt there...if not..it wouldve been even more fun...after that...we had to bathe...and change out....we girls shared cubicle to bathe...and...of coz we had clothes on when we were bathing together....you shouldve seen yvonne and my face...when everyone said..."share"....hahaha....we just looked at each other...hahaha...anyways...that night...i went home...i fell sick...had fever...hahaha....oh well...all worth it though...

oh oh!! and i have a new DVP lecturer...she's alright...not sure why everyone hates her...i mean....she's good...she's so experienced...OK...maybe she just talks too much...but...what can we do...just let her talk..and shut your mouth and listen to her...ben calls her a bitch...wth is his problem? ben has been acting weirdly lately....dunno what's up man....*shakes head* look..i dont care...i just want my work to be done...i want us to be a group and do our work properly...do the best we can....dvp is easy to score at...as long as you know what you are doing...ya...you're the leader....do your job...and be a leader...

anyways....signing off...nose is leaking

shawna

1. Longest relationship:
6 months

2. Shortest relationship?
only been in 1 relationship..haha

3. How many people have you broken up with?
1

4. How many times have you truly been in love?
twice

5. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have told you that they love you?
1

6. Have you ever thought that you were going to marry the person you were with?
no

7. Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt?
it's happening right now..i just pretend it's not

8. Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry?
no

9. Have you ever cried over a boyfriend or girlfriend?
yea

10. Are you happy being single or in relationship?
not sure

11. Have you ever cheated on a boyfriend or girlfriend?
no...just isnt right

12. Have you ever been cheated on?
i guess so..

13. What is the important PART of being in a relationship?
to love each other,be honest and faithful

14. What is the worst part of being in a relationship?
being apart...and not having time for each other..

15. Worst relationship?
only had one...hahah

16. Have you ever had your heart broken?
yup

17. Have you ever broken some ones heart?
nope

18. Do you talk to any of your exes?
yea

19. If you could go back in time and change things to where you could still be with one of your exes, would you?
maybe...i would...

20. Do you think any of your exes feel the same way?
i guess he does feel that way sometimes..

21. What is your ideal boyfriend or girlfriend?
cute,romantic,adorable,affectionate...cant rmbr...no time to think now...hahha

22. Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend?
yea...i guess i am

23. Have you dated people who were not good to you?
hmmmm...

24. Name your most memorable ex if you have had:
Suman...my only ex..hahaha

25. Have you dated someone older then you?
yea...

26. Younger?
nope

27. What is one thing that all of your exes had in common?
uhm...

28. Say, who are the top two most attractive exs that you have dated?
i only had one ex...so...it's got to be suman...hahha

29. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep over a boyfriend or girlfriend?
no...i dont wish to...

30. When is the last time that you were in a relationship?
last year

31. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
depends on the person

32. Believe in love at first sight?
yes

33. Ever dated two people at once?
nope

34. Ever been given a promise ring?
nope

35. Ever been given an Engagement ring?
no

36. Do you want to get married?
someday

37. Do you have something to say to any of your exes?
some small part of me still loves you suman...

38. Ever stolen someones boyfriend or girlfriend?
nope

39. Ever liked someone elses boyfriend or girlfriend?
probably?...hahaha...yea...i have

40. Do you believe in true love?
yea....

41. Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds?
yea...it does...

when will it be the day that i really forget you? because i dont want this to harm either of us...we're much more mature then we were back when we were 14...

im glad that now you really understand how i feel...im also glad that you didnt like..gimme a slap across the face...like you would when we were 14...ouch...yep...but..that's what you would do...plus the silent treatment..which..killed a part of me back then...

it's still dead you know...that part of me...no bringing it back...unless...i meet someone better..

i never expect anything from you...and i think you know that very well...more than anyone else...but there are times where...you'd gimme the feelings that you like me too...please.........im begging you...dont do it anymore...help me ok?

you're making me confused...and..im sorry too...

the schedule was given out today by my class monitor...including the new schedule for after the holidays in Oct...the best part is...nothing much changed...the bad part...we wont be having much BREAK....we still have to wake up early....everyday...and...that would includes thursdays...god...that sucks even more...as it is now...we have thursdays to sleep in more...but..the school has to go take that away from us...by slipping in whatever nonsense lesson in...F***...i really LOVE the school

im still sick after...i dont know...how many weeks...im still coughing...and...my nose is still as bad...and NOW....i have passed my flu to my poor yvonne....[im so sorry girl]...yikes...she's pretty sick now...i hope she gets well soon...if not...it's really my fault...bwhahaha~ then...von...you can really blame me...haha

anyways...something 'interesting' happened to me today...i was 'molested' by my thinking skills teacher...the super bad breath MS TAY...GOD..........it was hell i tell ya...nothing could be worse than that...not even the penguin or witch king can beat her...YIKES...beware of her....i have to watch out from next week onwards...if not...i will get the same treatment as today...or..WORSE...my butt could be grabbed by her...*screws face up*...eew...eww big time...hahah

aite...anyway...i skipped a class today...coz..im not feeling too well....so..ima go sleep already...

man...ok..so i havent been blogging...and...lately...feeling's been weird...i dont know what im feeling...i have talked to yvonne about this...and..now...all i wanna do is just....hate her...and...just..forget about her...but..nothing is working....it's making me pissed...

you know...everytime i see you...everytime...that we are together...the feelings that you show me...makes me..i dunno...like you more?...i really dont want that....all these are all wrong man...i wish you know of how im feeling towards all these...and towards you....i have been having so many dreams of you...i have lost count of how many too...

these feelings you leave me...makes me even more confused...as to whether...it is ok for me to like you...and...i have known of how you feel towards me liking you....

you feel disgusted....with me...i dont blame you...but...at least respect me....and up til now...i dont know if you do respect me at all...you seem to show your care and concern...but i dont know if that is coming from a real place...or for just wanting to show it to me...so that i will see the good side of you...which is which?

i wanted to tell you everything just now....just spill it out...but you know...doing it over msn...isnt quite the best place to do it...but..you wanted me to tell you what's troubling me...how do i tell you? where do i even start? that i have liked you....for almost 4and a 1/2 years? that is so gonna shock you....

i thought i could forget you...but...some people just had to remind me...of you....yea...loads of thanks to that person...you really helped me a lot...kudos to you...

i thought i could really forget you..naqiah...until..i had that stupid dream....almost 4 weeks ago...im still thinking...why i had that dream now...and not 4 years ago...but..i dont wanna think too much...it;s just gonna affect me more...

i need 2 people's support...yvonne...and...aslinah...but..i know they do give me support...they know very well of this...and...i know they respect me...so...i can really trust them...

yvonne's told me a lot of things about naqiah...i was hoping that i'd be able to hate her...with all that yvonne's said...but...no...i still like her...

im so screwed...i wanna get over her...but i cant...she's the 1st person that i ever liked...im doomed...

shawna

any advice? please do let me know... 

damn...i have no matter of luck or what-so-ever....ok...i went to school yesterday to do video editing because my computer at home couldnt take the file size of the video...it keeps hanging the com...so..

ok...reached school at about...9.30...wasnt really feeling that well...but...still did the editing...and then...had lunch...and because the stalls at the canteen werent open...i had to go down to the market to get lunch...=.=...

rested till...2 plus..then continued...yvonne arrived at 4 plus...and then i continued ding work til like...6? i had totally forgottened about armming...DAMN....FORGOT....omg...yesterday was the 1st and last time...that we are ever gonna get locked in school...EVER...it was...just...unlucky...we had to climb our way out...and...because the front gate was filled with ants...we decided to go by the side...how clever....i climbed 1st...coz i was afraid that something might happen to yvonne...but...well..happened to me instead...about 1cm of the spike went into my foot...hurt like hell...

we managed to climb out by the main gate anyways...and we took a cab from Yio Chu Kang back to my home 1st...then....to yvonne's home...i heard from her that there was quite a huge jam from my place to hers...so..the cab fare was quite a lot...well...even if it wasnt...i would ask her to charge mr alex more..well...can charge him for the hole in my foot...hahaha

shawna

god....i just gotta say this....the pass few days of the holidays suck real bad man...1st of all...we had the video shoot...which was freaking tiring...then...then today..we had our 2nd day of the shoot....and it's worse...coz...it was a washout today...GOD....

anyways...what made it worse today was also the fact that peter pretended to know how to get to mr alex's house....and made us walk in a circle....yvonne totally gave up walking anymore...and told me to call mr alex...shit...foget it...today was equally as tiring as the 1st day...and we didnt even shoot anything today...

yvonne's sick....hope she gets better...

man....ive got a meeting tomorrow....sigh...

shawna

yes...today was the Applied Design theory paper...and we only have one exam today...whahahah...THAT'S the good thing...hehheh...anyways...i was up to something yesterday..when i was actually supposed to be studying...i was doing The S.I.M.S vid..

that video was like...taken eons ago...but...i recently found out how extract it to my com...ouh..im a complete and utter idiot...coz i didnt know i could use the firewire cable to transfer...RAD....anyways...i had fun re-watching it on the com...before i started editing it...it was good times....during lesson...and what we normally do during that lesson...hahaha...maybe i shd do a vid of The S.I.M.S during lesson time...for every module...and what we do outside class...OUH...that would be SO interesting....yvonne can well be free to be my assistant in this...i feel guilty making her look like a total idiot in the very 1st S.I.M.S vid...although i think it looks ok..it kinda turned out ok..and VON....if you are reading this...im so sorry...i made you look stupid...but...im serious...i think you looked kinda cute....AHAHAHAHA~~~~ seriously....

but....the upcoming vids...will definitely be more interesting...you know...coz...you will always have me...the SPAZ to film everything down...and...dictate the life of The S.I.M.S.....now....how interesting does that sound? von....interested? haaha...

sammie....you better stop avoiding the camera...if not..the rest of The S.I.M.S video...will be like....99% us....and...1% you....that...doesnt sound good with me...aite? PARTICIPATE more girl...we're The S.I.M.S....without even one of us....it's kinda weird...although there's still von and i doing the entertaining....but...you know...we need the moron...hhahaha

ok...anyways...holidays are HERE...and how i wish it could stay...next term we've got new modules...some...are super foreign to us...some...like Digital Video Production....not so alien...hahah...coz we're already good at that....seeing The S.I.M.S video...anyone would know....OMG...who am i kidding...that's so much bullshit....hahahha...ok..anyway....cant wait to actually start playing....hahhaa...but...we still got portfolios to built up...so...ima do that...i shall start doing vids of The S.I.M.S...and other things...take part in the canon video production thing...yea...that's how i can start my portfolio..and of coz...how can i leave out my partner in crime? yvonne....hehheh....aite...anyway..that girl already told me she'd like to concentrate more on bowling these 4 weeks...so...not so sure when she's free...

Shawna

god....i have been studying the pass few days that i totally forgot to blog...anyways....i have an upcoming exam...which...sucks...coz..i just spoke to my ex-teacher earlier on today...and..he told me that the course notes are a whole lot of bull...man..that socomforts me now....yea RIGHT!....god..now im worried...coz..i know that there can be many answers to one question....but...now that mr liow has told me about the so-called 'system' the school has....im kinda afraid that i cant memorize the model answers from the revision papers given....OH NO MAN.......*dont freak out*.....

i spent nearly the whole day at starbucks today with yvonne trying to study...TRYING....we did the revision papers...and...god...we failed the 2nd revision paper....it's like so fucking hard to do...*ok..i can start freaking out now*....i have to go and memorize the 2 revision papers put together...maybe i should smack my head with the papers...maybe i can memorize better like that..haha..i wish man.....today was tiring...

shit...my ibook is sitting next to my pc...and..i was trying to install a new itunes for it so that i can read my ipod....but....god....it has probs opening up now....oh no man...i hope nothing is wrong with it....i pray nothing is wrong.....anyways...gtg now...im trying to fix it now...

shawna

ok....today...was a heck of a rush man...i was pretty upset today coz...1st of all...i didnt get much sleep...i woke up with a headache..then...went to school at 8 for my Character design mini-proj presentation...i reached school...late....then...rushed to the mac lab to preflight von's stuff...then rushed to get the stuff printed...

sam and i took a taxi down to Bras Basah Complex for printing....we were there from about 12 to 1 .....FUG...man...this has to happen again...and plus...today....2 ladies cut in my queue...GOD...cant they see...i was there....way before them...and hell...i was in a hurry man...and i really..really dont have time to entertain those asses...wth anyway...so...i just waited....and waited...and waited...i didnt know where my patience came from...coz...normally...i only have the patience to wait for people....not wait for stuff like these...i feel like it's wasting a lot of time...and...that time that we wasted..could be put into mounting the work...MAN...ok...anyway...after that...i dont know how...but...i had no more money on me...i didnt know where i over spent on...i seriously..dont know...so i started panicking even more..then...WTH....i just decided to borrow money from my friends....well...i'll pay them back when i can....yea...*sorry guys!!!*....anyways...im broke....and we took taxi back to school...and RUSHED to mount our stuff....yvonne came late....and so...yea...but...we did the mounting pretty fast....as...mr alex was busy chasing me to quicken my pace in mounting....(man..that was kinda annoying)...but..anyway...we finished around 5.15...way later than i was supposed to end....same with yvonne...and..we still had time to eat....i hadnt eaten the whole day..coz i was afraid i had not enough money to pay for printing...then....i wanna to drop von off at a train station...since mr alex and i are taking cab to the national stadium...but..in the end..she took a taxi back by herself...(i hope she didnt pay much...coz this whole week...she'll be taking taxi...)

aite..dont think i wanna talk about the national stadium...it was tiring..and boring...yea..that's all i can say...

shawna