November 24th Tim came home on leave time from Baghdad Iraq.....
November 25th Tim was driving the van so him and i could meet up with his parents at the hotel they were staying in while here in Texas and we got into a wreck totaling the van according to Geico. He is usually a great driver but that day he didnt for some reason see the driver had stopped in front of us at a stop light...that is so unlike him
November 27 TurkeyDay Tim starting having something weird going on he was looking around the room in a distant stare me and his mom were trying to talk to him but he just wouldnt respond while this was going on and when he was coming back he started drooling...I knew then that something wasnt right.
November 29th We were driving to tim's aunt Karen's mother's house he was the driver and he started veering towards the left over the yellow line a few times....he even said to me he didnt know why we were all of a sudden a quarter mile behind his aunt's escalade when we were right behind them earlier in the trip. So i made him pull off at the closest exit and told his aunt on the cell phone that i have to take over driving.
...... I had had enough of these weird spells of tim's so...
December 1st I made him go to the ER to be seen for this.....The doctor's thought he was having some petite seizure activity but the CPT who was seeing him didnt think a ct scan was necessary but i got into his face and told him "i will pay for the fucking ct scan if that's what it takes to give tim one yada yada yada" So the CPT gave in and performed the ct scan couple hours later we were told that Tim had a mass in his brain and that he would be staying overnight so he can get an MRI done first thing in the morning....
December 2 Tim got his MRI and later that day got the result and the neurologist said that it doesnt look good and he needed a biopsy so he got transfered from darnell army medical center to scott & white in Temple Texas where he would stay for the biopsy and then recover a day after that.
December 4th Tim underwent the biopsy for this growth/mass in his brain and the neurosurgeon came out to tell me that they given a frozen sample of the tissue to pathology and they highly suspect Glioblastoma Multiforme **the worst case scenerio CANCER** But we had to wait til the unfrozen sample came back which would take a few days *talk about eternity*
December 5 Tim was discharged from the hospital and we went home so he can recover at home and all that while we wait for the results.
December 10th Me and Tim went to the Neurosurgeon's office for the results......
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It was indeed Glioblastoma Multiforme and for the first time i was able to see the ct scan and MRI pictures the tumor was the size of a golf ball and had started forming arms to spread to the right frontal lobe of his brain. Me and Tim cried together.... The neurosurgeon said we can't wait til after the holidays for the surgery to remove some but not all of the tumor due to possibly damaging tim's motorskills speech etc. because when pathology was running the tests on the tissue the cells or the cancer were multiplying at an alarming rate. So we set up his surgery day for December 19th and started talking about radiation and chemo plans to try to kill the rest of the cancer/tumor in his brain. Dr Wright said that statistically untreated 4-6 months 10-12 treated LIFE SPAN. But tim's youth is on his side so a small chance of hope of him beating this.
December 19 Tim was the first surgery to go underway in what the doctors called "Craniotomy for resection of GBM" that was a four hour procedure. After the surgery Dr Wright the neurosurgeon came in to tell me and his parents **who have come back down to be with me during the surgery** that the surgery was successful but they found another tumor a hard one hiding in the tumor that we already knew about and it was sent out to be tested possibility of Gliosarcoma. It just seems like one thing after another. After surgery Tim was set up in an ICU room for two days since this was a majour surgery.
December 21 Tim was moved into a regular room where he was cared for and i was finally able to stay the nights with him which made me feel good.
December 23rd The representative for radiation/chemo had come in to set up an appt. for a consult to get the radiation and chemo plans underway and try to fight this thing. Jan 8th is that appt. Jan 7th is his wound care appt. btw. And are going to have to wait for the oncology appt. to be set up.....the oncologist came in and basically told us that his prognosis isnt good at all 39 weeks tops with treatment so that made me even more upset. But just like Dr Wright said the oncologist pronounced that with tim's young age and predominant good health he has a small chance of fighting this cancer but still going to take a miracle. We returned home that evening...
December 24 Tim slept all day and I got to do the honours of playing santa getting the kids presents under the tree....earlier in the day the FRG Leader came over with her whole family and i was overwhelmed with presents for the boys and of course me and tim...what a pleasant surprise i was overwhelmed. And later on that day my good friends Kate Jeromy and Megan came over with a bunch of food for us and coats for the boys...they notified the USO of fort hood and told them my situation and so they were given gift cards to walmart and mcdonalds so they could get the groceries and what not for me i was so happy i am so used to always doing for others that it felt different yet satisfying that I would get that love in return.
December 25th Tim woke up and came out in the living room so he could see me and the boys open our christmas gifts but he didn't open his he just wasnt energetic enough for it.
December 26th Tim's christmas gifts are still sitting under the tree untouched which really has me depressed cause usually he is all about christmas....I just wish he would open them and make me happy or at least feel somewhat happy about this whole situation.
December 27 YAY Tim finally opened his christmas gifts and was very happy about them...his aunt and uncle came up from houston along with his cousin and his aunt's mom...all of us including Tim had a great dinner together and Tim seemed pretty cheerful and all together. He is starting to come back into his own and that is a wonderful thing,,,,he did however get depressed later on this evening telling me he wants to live life to the fullest and that he is scared that he might miss all the things in his boys' and my life in the future...I reminded him that we have to stay positive and he is going to beat this cancer and pass the tests of this with flying colours he smiled and seemed to be ok after that.
January 5th Well here i am at nearly 330AM not able to sleep...I am really worried about Tim he seems detatched from me and the boys but when it comes to his family and friends he is all vibrant...are we a constant reminder of something negative??? meaning me and the boys, It's like he wants nothing to do with us anymore except for the general purpose stuff like meals and me helping him get a bath and an occassional question or two that me and the boys need Tim to answer for us. It breaks my heart to see him so happy when he is talking to his family and friends but when the conversational stuff with them is all done with it's like oh back to being sad and glum around me and the boys. I don't get it I really honestly dont.January 7th Well Tim had his doctor's appointment today with Dr. Wright to check his wound from the surgery and everything looks fine we also got the results back from the biopsy that was taken from the tumor he already had to find out exactly what the hidden tumor was and it is a gliosarcoma which in essence sets the tone for a glioblastoma to form so as you know he has a glioblastoma but the doctor feels that the gliosarcoma is what caused the glioblastoma to form around it. Dr. Wright also said that he doesn't want to wait any longer to start the radiation process so when we go to Tim's radiation/oncology consult appointment tomorrow we will get his radiation treatments planned and appointed out immediately. We still have to figure out what the Hemotology/Oncology clinic has to say on the 14th. Ok that's it for today's update stay tuned for more info.
January 8th So We just got back from going to Tim's radiation oncology appointment and from getting Tim's ct scan to prepare for his radiation treatments that will start no later than next week according to the Radiation Oncologist. He was a very nice guy but he did lay everything out on the table no sugar coating involved ***(to tim) You will succumb to this brain cancer with radiation alone you are given 3 months of survival and with radiation plus chemo involved 6 months maybe a little bit more of survival.*** it was then that shit really hit me like a ton of bricks "oh my god I am going to lose my husband in less than a year". Next week sometime I believe the 13th we have to go back up to temple s&w so Tim can get an MRI done for radiation and of course the 14th he will have a series of lab work done before seeing the hematology/oncologist to decide more on what plan of action is due to take place through out this battle. I am starting to feel overwhelmed with everything and we just began. I am scared and so is Tim. I told him in the truck on the way home that "you need to fight this and have a strong will to live because i can't lose you" he said he will. Within a month or two we will be moving into another housing area where the house will be modified for handicap access to better Tim's comfort and accessibility. Anyway I'll keep you all posted. Bye for now.
January 12th Well Tim and I went into the housing office today with the rear detatchment NCO to get the ball rolling on getting our new house that will be modified for the pure comfort to my husband since radiation and chemotherapy will make him feel weak and the modifications will help out and help us all out really. Tomorrow Tim goes for his MRI so the radiation oncologist can put the last pieces of planning into motion for radiation therapy. We venture to say that by the end of the week Tim's radiation therapy will start but that isn't a definite, This coming saturday we are getting family portraits done since it has been awhile and I think the time is now to get this done. to be continued
January 13 Well Tim went for his MRI today so hopefully we will know when the exact date is that he will start radiation I hope soon so we can get this out of the way since it will be a 6 week process scratch that 6 week LONG process. Everything is getting underway for us to get the approval to move into the modified home just waiting on the doctor's profile for Tim. LTC Sicrest's wife made us a lasagna and he wrote a very good note on it letting us know that if we need anything to not hesitate to call for any reason at all regarding this situation. It has been a blessing that everyone is pulling together and rooting for tim me and the boys and are doing everything they can to help us in all ways humanly possible. My first impression of 4th ID was anything but positive when we first got to the division but as of the past month and a half my impressions have changed. I made it very clear to LTC Sicrest that I want my husband ...my soldier to be well taken care of and that I don't want this post to cut corners when it comes to his benefit. I am standing behind my soldier through all this and so should they. Tim did get approved to be put in the Warrior Transition Unit all that needs to be done is the post commander to sign off on the packet and he can be in no later than February. But for the time being we are ordered to just do what we have to do with Tim's medical care and relax the best we all can. Tomorrow Tim has labs and to see the Hemotology Oncology clinic so we will be busy allll day for that. WEEEEEEEEE
January 14th Tim had his appointment with Dr Trumbly today and he has decided that Tim will be doing the chemotherapy drug called Temador which is approved for only three types of cancer and my husband's so happens to be one of them thank goodness. The side effects of this is suppose to be very minimal and that this particular chemotherapy has been proven so far to be the most effective out there. Tim will be doing this chemotherapy at the same time he is going through radiation. He is suppose to start radiation either tomorrow or friday so let the second phase of the battle begin!!!!....I tell you what I am scared and sad because as much as i want to stay positive i am so afraid of losing my husband. I can go on and on about how I am feeling but I won't make anyone's head explode hahaha. Will keep you posted on Tim's first few days of treatment to let you all know how it's effecting him thus far.
January 22nd So I called the radiation oncologist today and was given the word that Tim starts his Radiation /Chemo Treatment on monday the 26th so we will see how he does the first or second day of treatment and keep you all posted. Let the second round of this battle begin!!!!
January 27th Tim started his radiation and chemotherapy treatments today. He is doing ok with it being his first day of course. The second part of this battle is well underway and I just hope that Tim can beat this cancer for good and have a normal LONG healthy life with me and our boys. I am so scared because everything is so real now watching him do these treatments before my eyes, I wish that I could just cure Tim and call it good. Tim does radiation monday-friday at 1130AM Cst for the next six weeks so hopefully by the middle of March he will be done with both radiation and the first round of chemotherapy. One of Tim's fears is the cancer not reacting to what he is undergoing and or it going away and coming back. I can understand his fear the best I can. Well I will keep you posted when things come up. Oh another thing before i forget I am twice a day going to be checking Tim's temperature to make sure he doesn't reach 100.5 since that is dangerous for him right now due to the chemo compromising his red/white blood cell counts thus putting his immune system on the line to fight infections. Well that's all for now take care all.
February 2nd Tim has completed his first full week of Radiation
treatment today and so far so good with the exception is he is starting
to feel like he is getting sunburned on his head. We went to his
Oncologist in Temple today and got his results from his lab work that
was done on friday Jan 30th and again so far so good just that tim's
potassium levels are a lil low so he is being prescribed yet ANOTHER
pill but he can't take it til the docs recheck his potassium levels
again from lab work done today. He now has a set schedule of labs that
are to be done weekly every friday to be exact so that makes us get
more and more into a routine, And I say US because some people seem to
forget that I am going through this tragedy as well as Tim. The more
and more we get into a routine the better and smoother things will be.
On a side note ....i get a package today well actually a big envelope
with funeral arrangement shit from my birth mother and i am the sole
beneficiary see she has colon cancer Yeah another thing to add to my
plate in life. I am so torn to take on both Tim and Cheryl's world or
Do I have to pick one or the other?? If I have to pick one or the
other at this time it will be Tim he is my husband and my priority. Ok
well enough of my banter for now. I Well keep you updated as events
spontaneously occur and/or weekly whichever comes first.
February 13 Hey everyone I know long time no update huh?? Well there hasn't been much going on but as of very recently some things have come up. Tim is starting to feel the fatigue of the chemo therapy but it's not real bad at all just he is tired a little bit easier than before and I noticed a couple of nights ago that he has two bumps on his head so when he went into radiation yesterday i had the radiation oncologist take a look at it and he says it looks identical to what the MRI shows as where they put in the fasteners to hold his skull back in place and there may be a possibility of surgery again to fix it but we wont know for sure til we go in to see the neurosurgeon for check up on the 23rd Just hope that nothing goes wrong from now til then. Tim is almost finished up with his third week of Radiation and Chemo. Starting tuesday will be his 4th week of treatments. Time is going fast for this since we are always so busy during the week because of that. Anyway as far as everything else so far so good. Will keep you posted xoxoxox
February 27- man oh man has it been 2 weeks since I have written?? Sorry folks. Things have gotten hectic around here with appointment after appointment. Tim is doing well so far guys and gals. He is currently getting treated for thrush of the throat which is a yeast infection induced by his chemotherapy but it's clearing up nicely. A week ago thursday we got word that his grandfather of 78 years of age passed away due to complications of his heart and pneumonia. So we as in me and Tim had to fly out to Michigan to attend his funeral services. That set Tim back two days of his radiation treatment so instead of being down on the 9th of March he will be done on the 11th. Monday March 2nd he goes to see his oncologist for routine check up so I will keep you posted on how that went. I have started counseling to help me through this rough time. What made me finally decide to see a counselor is my lack of sleep due to constant anxiety from the stress of all this. I am still hanging in there and being strong but a little help from the outside won't hurt me any. In fact, it will enhance my strength. One of the hard things I am dealing with currently is that since Tim is on so much medication his libido is null and void completely. I know I am not the reason he isn't turned on but still kind of gives me this stigma that I can't shake. Oh well I will get through this along with everything else. Come this weekend is the St Michael's Lutheran Church chilli blast which is a fundraiser put on and the proceeds go to me and Tim since we may need it. Everyone in Michigan and here have been so gracious in their support through this rough time I can't thank them enough we are in awe and humble. Ok going to try to go back to bed now since it is 3 AM and I got my daily duties as usual. Will update you very soon.
March 2nd Hey folks I hope you all are doing well. Here is an update for you all. Today we went to Tim's oncologist appointment and so far so good. We were informed that he will be getting and MRI and blood work done on april 6th to check out the progress of Tim's cancer treatments then on the 7th of april his routine oncology appointment. April 8th Tim will start his 2nd round of chemotherapy which he will take 350 mgs. of the temodar for five days straight every month for 6 months. Monday of next week is when Tim takes his last dose of Temodar for the first round of chemo and weds will be his last day for radiation thank goodness. So we are getting done with the huge busy times soon, Ok well time to get out of here will keep you updated.
March 3rd Well some of you may have seen me update my status here a few mins ago well me and tim found out that Dr. Oas decided to add 3 more days to Tim's radiation treatments in order to smooth out any hot spots which would prevent brain damage so his last day of radiation will be on the 16th of march. On the 17th Tim will start the tapering schedule from his steroid that Dr Oas has him on so hopefully that will go smoothly. Well just thought i would give you all a quick note ttys.
March 6th First off i want to apologize for making this entry short but I am exhausted we as in me and Tim had a busy day today. Tim started WTU today he's all processed in now, If anyone is curious to know exactly what WTU is here is a link for you to follow. this gives the general idea of what it is.
Warrior Transition Unit info Ok well with that said I am going to crash like percussion symbols.
March 16th YAY Tim completed his first round of chemotherapy on March 9th and completed his radiation therapy today. I can't believe we actually made it to this point. I am so proud of my hubby this was a majour milestone that he has accomplished. In a couple of weeks Tim goes back into the cancer center for a radiation follow up appointment no big deal just standard for all radiation patience. Tomorrow me Tim and the boys leave for the beach to take a much needed vacation we are so excited. April 6th Tim goes to temple s&w for MRI and lab work to see how things are going and on the 7th of April he sees the oncologist at the same place for routine check up and plan of action. April 8th is when Tim starts his second round of chemotherapy so instead of 150mg he will be on 300mg for 5 days then he will be off of treatment for 23 days this will be going on for the next 6 months. We will still be busy but not as busy as before. Next week after spring break we will be moving into the new house so that is another exciting event to happen. Well i got some packing to do for tomorrows trip out to the beach will update you later xoxoxoxo
April 2nd Well I am so far behind in writing. I wanted to let you all know that our vacation went well. We spent time at the beach and did some mild sight seeing, Tim really enjoyed spending time with the boys watching them have a good time. We are all moved into our new house and settled, It has lifted our spirits being a much nicer home. Monday April 6th Tim goes for his lab work and MRI and we should know a lil something Tuesday April 7th of how the treatments have gone when we see his oncologist. April 8th Tim starts his second round of Chemotherapy which is a 5 day course with 23 days off and that will be repetitious for 6 months. I just can't believe how much time has gone from Tim being firstly diagnosed with cancer. We havent been able to slow down too much since his initial homecoming back in November. A lot has come to the surface for me. I have accepted Tim having cancer since the beginning but I am at the point now where I can finally breathe and start letting out those over due tears. I am trying to be so strong for everyone but I am succumbing to the reality that I do have limits and I need to take care of myself which includes having a good healthy cry. I just have to continue to be strong but what you being my friends and family have to realize is I am human and I am going through the motions just as much if not more than Tim. For those who are there for just me alone I appreciate it very much and love you.
April 14th Ok so i have procrastinated on updating this so lets cut to the chase. April 7th we got the results of the MRI. The left over tumor hasn't progressed or regressed so there has been no change. April 8th Tim started his second round of chemo of Temodar 400mg this time around it has kicked his tail which I had expected. He took his last dose of that sunday night but still has the side effects of appetite decline and fatigue. I just feel so bad that Tim has to go through this. I wish it were easier for him. Will keep you all updated later.