i have always been interested with how the mind works. how the thought process works. how the synapses run through membrane valley known as the penumbras of the mind. there are areas of the mind that are dark and mysteriously decrepit, these areas are often hidden from the realities of the world, pent up so deep only the most rare and stray beam of light can enter here.

on occasion when a single solitary and true ray of sunlight shines on this region, the area left unknown to most of the world, it is discovered and exposed to the rest of eternity. the true identity is revealed and that only the mind had been privy. but now, now the host is left vulnerable to the sunlight that has pierced this mostly unknown and secret world.

this world is spectacular. this world is untouched or so it appears but as the focus is being adjusted the true identity of the mind discovered. the one that no one is supposed to see, it is willed by some that not even God Himself should see this world, but only this solitary ray has been able to expose the realities buried down past the depths of the unknown secrets that have kept the mind hostage.

for once, the mind can truly work. it is free to travel the earth in synaptic bliss, well beyond what used to be a barrier, because now it can see.

the original

this is definetly a classic that many people have loved throughout the ages.

63 years later. a reunion with the navy for an icon.

News piece about the picture.

"We spend more time focusing on the wedding and not on the marriage".

The guy I heard this from says, "We make the wedding the goal and not marriage the goal!" Then he highlights the fact that after the wedding we have 70 years or so to live with this person but we are not preparing ourselves for this. That's why people are so miserable with their marriages. He goes on to note that if we spent as much on the marriage as we do on the wedding than we too would have great marriages.

Tell me what you think.

i was having a bad day. i was feeling down about myself and things aren't even that bad. then i just happened to check the "week in pictures" page from both MSN.com and TIME.com pages. it changed me especially when i saw the suffering in the Congo.

i owe $56,000 worth of student loans.
i am tired.
i average 42 hours of work a week.

i am loving my current student pastor assignment.
i am loving the keene church.
i am loving working with the youth.

i wish i only worked one job.
i wish i could sleep 8 hours a nite.
i wish it was may 2009 already.

i want to graduate (already) [again].

i have always been interested with how the mind works. how the thought process works. how the synapses run through membrane valley known as the penumbras of the mind. there are areas of the mind that are dark and mysteriously decrepit, these areas are often hidden from the realities of the world, pent up so deep only the most rare and stray beam of light can enter here.

on occasion when a single solitary and true ray of sunlight shines on this region, the area left unknown to most of the world, it is discovered and exposed to the rest of eternity. the true identity is revealed and only the mind had been privy to this knowledge. but now, now the host is left vulnerable to the sunlight that has pierced this mostly unknown and secret world.

this world is spectacular. this world is untouched or so it appears but as the focus is being adjusted the true identity of the mind discovered. the one that no one is supposed to see, it is willed by some that not even God Himself should see this world, but only this solitary ray has been able to expose the realities buried down past the depths of the unknown secrets that have kept the mind hostage.

for once, the mind can truly work. it is free to travel the earth in synaptic bliss, well beyond what used to be a barrier, because now it can see.

my life is a routine.
it's constantly moving forward.
i'm constantly on the go.

i feel like i'm about to fall over from exhaustion right now, i don't understand it, i got the most rest i've had this week last night and yet i'm drained. today was relatively easy but i'm just tired.

it's alright though. i know it's making me a stronger person. this is how i was raised by my parents, they were both immigrants to the US that came here for a better life, and it's from them that i've gained my work ethic. work hard. work efficiently. work at doing your best. they've taught me to work despite being sick, despite feeling exhausted, despite having everything against you . . . i was taught to work.

it's the right thing to do. it's the moral thing to do.

i think there's something to it. like even within my faith in God and the Christian framework with which i see and believe in Him with, i see this model or at least i can somewhat see it.

there are verses that talk about never giving up. we are called to fight the good fight, finish the race and keep the faith (re: 2 timothy 4:6-8). we're supposed to continue in perseverance remember that God will helps as He did in the past--we shouldn't lose that confidence we have (hebrew 10:35-36). and we are told to keep going because God will help us climb over mountains . . . He'll give us the strength and ability to do so (habakkuk 3:19).

despite my exhaustion i had some really cool and amazing things occur this week! i've been given the amazing opportunity to lead a weekly bible study at the university church for the youth and so we've met twice now and both times we have attendance number well into the 40s--that's awesome for a middle of the week meeting!

anyway, yesterday we prayed, sang and study the bible and it was a really cool experience. afterwards, i had several individuals come up and tell me that they were able to see God in a different way than before. and the one that got me the most was a man that came up to me and with tears in his eyes he said that his daughter was finally starting to "get it".

that was one of the biggest compliments i've ever received. not that i'm one worthy of compliments or praise here but all the stuff that i make myself go through. all the studying that i do. all the deferred gratification that i implement it was all worth it to hear those words . . . "my daughter is finally starting to 'get it.'"

that was awesome!!!

so . . . despite my chronic fatigue i'm glad that i'm doing what i am doing.

Here's my life for the next semester! :)



The blank spots designate times where I'll be open to filling the needs of the church where I'll be student pastoring. For instance, two fridays a month I'll be busy (most of the afternoon) helping with Friday night programing and stuff like that.

Color Coding
Green: Personal Time
Blue: Times I'll be working at the bookstore
Red: Times I'll be working at the library
Dark Blue: Class times
Orange: Times I'll definitely be working at the church (or for the church)

i feel as though i'm going through some rite of passage. it's like i'm embarking on some form of odyssey that will lead me into an uncharted territory but that's the thing . . . i've been here before. i've done all of this. i know full well what is before me.

i wouldn't say that i'm scared. nor am i excited. i just am. if anything, the best way to describe how i feel is indifferent to it all.

i'm more concerned about what happens come May 2009. i'm not worried about my senior year because i've already done this. i'm anticipating my post-graduation life. i'm worried about what my impact on life will be and i'm anxious to get out there and do something because honestly this whole education process i find to be a quasi-waste of time.

quasi: seemingly; apparently but not really; being partly or almost

i literally mean "quasi-waste of time" because i see my education as being just that. i've already gone through the hoops of academia, i've already bowed down to my superiors and i've already done the simple but yet mind expanding "wax on . . . wax off . . ." exercises. now my second go-round is a little frustrating because i no longer need to do all "wax on . . . wax off . . ." exercises. i just need to gain the knowledge that i'm missing, the knowledge i need to be successful, the knowledge i need to leave an impact on this world.

the frustrating part for me is that i know i can run but i'm being forced to walk with everyone else who doesn't realise that they too can run. also, for two summers now i've had the insanely humble, most awesome and totally soul-searching experiences ever. i was camp pastor during great summer camp programs.

both years kids were allowed to be kids by leaving the things of life at home. they were introduce to God in new ways. and most importantly they were allowed to have fun in a setting that would push them outside their comfort zones.

this summer i was able to preach about twice a day where i shared my take on how i see and relate to our most awesome God. i talked to campers going through some real crappy things, things that adults shouldn't have to deal with but yet these kids are going through some real mess. these kids let me in and they changed me forever.

now. now i have to go back to school and sit at a desk and not do anything but the trivial academic exercises.

now. don't get me wrong, the education that i'm receiving is great but i'm ready to get out there and practice everything i've learned in the last eight years of my life--the last years of undergrad education.

now. i'm back to where i began. i feel as i'm going through some rite of passage where what i apparently need to do is walk before i can run. my journey starts thursday--see you on the other end.

I don't know about you but lately I've really become irritated by the things going on in the world. How is it that we can live so comfortably while people in our neighborhoods starve. While kids are abused - both mentally and psychically - and forced to grow up way faster than they should. What can I do?

I'm sitting in my room watching the olympics while people all around me are suffering. I've been importing the latest "M.I.A." album into my iTunes and wondering what can I do. I've really been concerned about these things all summer. What can I do?

This summer I was camp pastor at Wewoka Woods in Oklahoma and I was allowed into the lives of many of the kids. Kids that allowed me in as their pastor while they told me of how they are dealing with the horrors of life. How they are dealing with what it means to be a child in America where affluence and indifference are so prevalent while they are being neglected by their parents. Some of these kids are dealing with some tough stuff. What can I do?

What can I do? While people in places such as Darfur, Georgia, South Ossetia, China and my NEIGHBORHOOD are suffering.

WHAT CAN I DO?!



what can I do to help this family and others?!?!

[Photo:(Maxim Shipenkov / EPA) Link: http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/world/la-fg-georgia9-2008aug09-pg,0,7083816.photogallery?index=57 ]