I'm writing daily posts all week at my personal blog relating to the debate between atheists & Christians and how we can have a more-healthy and purposeful exchange. I'm not trying to convert atheists through these posts, nor am I trying to offer some liberal gospel message. I'm just someone tired of all the same old stuff going on between us and hoping to try and bridge the gap in some small way by allowing us to realize things from the other's perspective before and during the dialog.

I invite you to follow along at www.daveingland.com and offer your feedback, whether atheist or Christian. I will not duplicate those blog posts here on myspace.

I am currently in dialog with the author of the Unreasonable Faith blog and expect both Christians and atheists to share equally in the conversation while avoiding animosity and unreasonable arguments.

...ha, ha :)

The more I think I know...the less I find I actually know. Especially when it comes to what's next. I've been dilligently moving forward with plans that I believe keep me on track, yet things have happened in the past few months to cause me to question whether I knew what I was doing.

When so much emphasis and focus is put on the future, I see myself missing out on the important things happening now. I've taken being driven to the extreme. I've found myself out of balance. I've let life pass me by for the sake of keeping my focus on what I thought was most-important. I was wrong.

I need to spend time learning how to live life for today and appreciate all that God is blessing me with right now, like time with my family and having a more relaxed attitude.

Have you ever thought about how great things used to be? You know, back when you weighed less, or your joints didn't ache or when you had more hair or when all there was in life was school and socializing? Boy, I know I have! Making money and having the world at my feet created a very easy existence for me. Sure, I was a slave to my job for many years, but the nice house and new cars every year and dinners out all the time sure seemed to make it all worthwhile. Now after serving in ministry for over 3 years with full-time hours, but no pay and often-times no reimbursement for expenses, is it right for me to ask why things used to seem so easy when I was an atheist compared to now as a Christian in ministry?

Ecclesiastes 7:10 reads: Do not say, "Why were the old days better than these?" For it is not wise to ask such questions.

Why is it not wise? Because it's the wrong question! The right question would be why am I here in this moment going through what I'm going through and how can it be used to glorify God? Also, what can I take away from the old days that will help me get through today or avoid making the same mistakes? We go through experiences and seasons of life for reasons. Sometimes they aren't known to us until after we go through them; other times we may never understand why we go through them.

God has placed us on a journey with a beginning and an end. We didn't have a choice as to when our life began and we won't have a choice as to when it will end. God will be God. Therefore, why not just embrace the blessings we have today. We all know that no matter what we are going through, there is always going to be someone somewhere that is suffering even more than we are. It's not a competition!

Let's not look to our past to see how good things used to be and how bad they are today and cause ourselves to lose heart or become depressed. Our past shapes who we are, but we have a legacy that we will leave behind and it will end on a positive note if we just keep our eyes focused ahead of us and do our best to learn from our past so that we may have a better tomorrow. God's gonna get you through everything if you'll just trust in him and be at peace with all you are facing right now.

[repost from www.daveingland.com]

In Matthew 22:39 we are commanded by Christ to "love your neighbor as yourself." In other words, love others equally as you would love yourself. However, what if you really don't love yourself very much? Interesting dilemma!

It's really okay to feel good about yourself…really! You were created in the image of a loving God that cares for you more than words can say. He wants you to embrace that love and unleash it onto others around you.

Believing in yourself and liking who you are is not pride and it's not a sin. It's encouraged by God as he wants you to celebrate life and your relationship with him! Through you others can come to know God's love for them and realize they are important. If you don't appreciate yourself and your ability to contribute then how can God show his love through you? Therefore don't be ashamed or afraid to give yourself hug and tell yourself how great you are and that God has an awesome plan for your life and it will affect a lot of other people in your lifetime. He has things planned for you that no one else will have the ability to do. God created you with a unique purpose and he needs you to see that purpose fulfilled. You matter to God and you matter to us!

Remember, it all starts with you. Let God show you how much you really mean to him and how important you are. Let him put a smile on your face and joy in your heart. Just ask him to share this with you. He's waiting on you.

Stop and pause for a moment. What do you hear?

• Traffic? Isn't it funny that some of us worship our cars, yet we don't appreciate the noises they make?


• Tv? How can we focus on what we are reading and grasp it if we distract ourselves by leaving on the tv, which we can't even watch while we read anyways?


• Music?Have you ever thought that the music you hear while reading can impact the way you perceive the words? Happy, upbeat music won't cause you to respond appropriately to sorrow, yet sad, downbeat music can cause you to overreact to things with sad words causing greater sadness and happy words rubbing you the wrong way.


• People Talking? We may not be paying attention to the chatter as we believe we are reading, but part or our brain is observant and receiving the perceptible conversations and keeping us from focusing on what we are reading...like this blog post :)


• Silence? Isn't it strange that the thing which has no sound is something we say that we can actually hear? Remember, the question was what do you hear. Even the lack of sound or noise impacts us as something we hear. We are just that used to audible input.

Okay, what's my point? We are so accustomed to hearing things and having auditory stimulation that we don't even realize how it affects other things. So much so that when there is silence, it causes people to become greatly uncomfortable. Have you ever been speaking to someone and then, as you can't think of anything else to say you pause, and then they pause, and then there is that awkward silence that makes you feel really uncomfortable? Why is that? It's because we have conditioned ourselves to the noise. It seems so strange without it.

In radio, they call silence "dead air." It's a definite no-no. It's as if the world has come to an end if there are a few seconds of silence.

I think we need a lot more dead air in our lives. Especially in our conversations. I've been guilty of this at times, but one of the things I hate is when I see two or more people engaged in a conversation where someone asks a questions and encourages a response, yet the person responding never has a chance to fully respond because the asker of the question keep imparting their words into the discussion. Here is a huge pet peeve of mine. Have you ever had someone ask you how you are doing, then immediately go into what they wanted to say? "Hey, how ya doin' I was wondering if you knew the way to San Jose and did you know that the dow dropped 700 points last Thursday?" Why ask me how I am doing if you really don't care to hear an answer? If you're going to ask, at least pause so I have a chance to respond! Wouldn't a few seconds of dead air be appropriate here?

I spent most of my adult life in sales and marketing. At times it was very successful and very lucrative. However, at no time did I ever sell something to someone that wouldn't positively benefit from the product or service I was marketing. I asked questions and listened to the responses on occasionally finding myself telling prospective clients that they would be better off without what I was representing at the time. I couldn't do that if I didn't listen carefully and try to assess their needs rather than keep speaking and forcefully presenting features and benefits even though the benefits may not be benefits to the prospective client.

When someone comes to you and needs someone to talk to, they may actually be coming to you because they need someone to just listen to them. Your words of wisdom may not be what they need even if they say that's why they came to you. Maybe they just need someone to hear them out and allow the wisdom to be revealed in their own voice. how empowering it would be to let them know that they knew the answer all along and it just took someone like you to help them bring it to the surface!

When someone loses a loved one, do you always know what to say? Probably not, but ever notice how we always feel like we should say something? How about just looking them in the eye and letting them know it's okay to grieve, embrace them and let them get a little emotional, then smile and let them know it's all going to be okay?

Many times the things we can convey in silence are much more powerful and effective than anything we could ever say. Sometimes the true meaning and relevance behind what we read could impact us far greater if we turned off the noise and committed our full attention to what we were reading.

Sometimes, it's not what you hear, but it's what you're not hearing that is important. Sometimes not hearing your own voice and listening to what is being said is more important.

Something has my mind contemplating the change of seasons. It's cold outside and leaves are dropping. It finally feels as if summer has left us and we are now into fall.

Living in Sacramento we experience very distinct seasons. Summer is hot and dry, fall is cool and breezy, winter is cold and rainy, and spring starts the cycle all over again with mild, sunny days and blooming flowers everywhere. I've talked to people about how I enjoyed my brief period living in the Los Angeles area. I spent about 6 months in Redondo Beach and loved it. It was generally around 70 degrees in the day, about 50 degrees at night and very little rain. I lived one block from the beach and used to walk there almost daily. No smog, no traffic, no glaring displays of wealth...for me it was great! Many people I talk to though have a different experience. They hate it because everyday is like the same to them. They need to experience changes in season. As I think about this I wonder how these people feel when they experience changes of season in their own personal lives. Not changes in weather, but changes in their lifestyle, finances, relationships, etc. It seems that many want to go through changing seasons of the weather, but not of their lives. We are creatures of habit and don't like being made to feel uncomfortable.

As it gets colder outside, I have the luxury of being able to add another blanket to the bed or turning the heater on rather than feeling cold. I don't need to complain as I have things I can do. What about in life though? When things get uncomfortable do we seek to change the situation for the better or do we complain about the situation? Think about it.

As fall is here I sense a season about to change in my life as well. Actually, this year has been filled with changes. Some things are being forced upon me that I'm not happy about, but through my faith I know that God has a solution if I open my eyes and ears and seek it rather than sit around and complain about it. Even with some potentially uncomfortable things about to happen and even with the weather turning colder and rain about to come I am having a positive outlook on the future. I'm willing to face the challenges and deal with them knowing that it will make for a brighter future and renew me and prepare me to blossom in much the same way the rain comes to prepare the flowers to be renewed when the spring sun comes and invites them to shine brightly under the warm skies.

Seasons change. This time I'm gonna be ready.

One of the things I struggle with sometimes is my imbalance in my faith. What I mean is that I have had 37 years to live in the world and in worldly ways, yet only about the past 4 years to live as a believer and student of Christ's teachings. I've been told by many that I have grown quickly in my knowledge and faith and it's a testament to the transforming power of God, yet obviously I have a long way to go still.

I used to say a lot of things that could be misconstrued as hurtful, all in the name of getting people to laugh. Sarcasm is something that I have difficulty with. It comes so naturally to me that many times I don't realize I'm being sarcastic until after the words have left my tongue. Nothing I say is ever sarcastic in such a manner that it speaks some truth, it is always just said in a harmless and joking manner. However, I've seen that what is funny to me and others around me may not be funny to the person the words were directed towards.

There isn't any one instance that convicted me and has me repenting, but it's just a general sense that this is something I must be very careful about and one of the things I do that does not honor God. As it is written in Ephesians 4:29:

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

Therefore I must be careful with my words and fight the automatic nature of my use of sarcasm for humor. Just as I don't need to use profanity or sexual innuendo to be funny, I don't need to rely on sarcasm for humor either. Today I pledge to remove sarcastic comments from my mouth, never to return in the name of Jesus. Please pray for me.

This is the first birthday for my mom where she isn't here to celebrate it. Those of you that know me, know that she passed away unexpectedly back in May. She would have been 87 today.

I've come to learn and understand that we can't look to the past and still live for the future. We must look beyond things we have done without regret and realize that every action had some meaning and importance in creating who we are today and who we will be tomorrow. I've made many mistakes in my life, but really don't have regrets. However, I am feeling inclined to reflect on my childhood and my relationship with my mom.

Dave Gibbons spoke about his Korean mom having a Korean accent and trying to get a discount on some clothes at a store while he was growing up and how it embarrassed him. He used the illustration to begin the sermon he did for the One Prayer campaign for LifeChurch.tv. The illustration was funny to me as I could totally relate. My mom came to the US when she was in her 30's and her English could be a little hard to understand for many. I grew up hearing her voice and understood her 100%, but I could understand why some others could not. Her Japanese culture was deeply a part of who she was and she was not ashamed. However, at times I feel ashamed because I wanted to distance myself from my mom. Frankly, at times she embarrassed me. Usually, it was in a very public setting and I hated having negative attention cast upon me as a child, especially from strangers.

I wasn't appreciative of my mom's love at times and defied her several times. In hindsight, it saddens to me recall some of those moments. However, I learned later in life to appreciate my mom and to love her and be there for her. Not because I owed it to her, but because it was a part of who I was and couldn't imagine not being there for her. At times I feel like I was closer to her in the past 7 years than I had been the whole time I was growing up. We got to do things together that were fun for her and often-times planned vacations around things she wanted to do. Seeing her peaceful expression and hearing her words of contentment and pleasure while relaxing on a cruise ship or being outdoors or enjoying a nice seafood dinner in the Pacific Northwest were some of the most satisfying times I can remember. Being able to be there for my mom in the latter years of her life, especially after my dad passed away, made me feel like I was fulfilling my purpose. Not that I was trying to make up for the disrespect or unappreciation of my mom while growing up as those things weren't even in my mind until recently, but it just felt like this was the way it was supposed to be. I am thankful that God provided a way for me to survive in this world in such a way that I had the time and resources to be with my mom and to care for her and love her as she had cared for and loved me throughout my life. I am thankful that she had an opportunity to spend time with my daughters Megan and Samantha as they were growing up.

It is my prayer that my mom is resting in peace with the Lord and that we will be reunited at the appropriate time. She never professed her faith in Christ in my presence, but I know that he touched her life in a tangible way. I'm hoping I'll have the chance one day to put into words for her what I tried to put into words here. I love you mom! You've influenced me and helped me to help others more than you may ever know.

After responding to a comment from my friend Charles on my previous blog post, I was reminded of a conversation I had that was about making wrong/bad decisions and failure. I figured I'd post some thoughts and see how everyone responds.

When it comes to making choices as a Christian, I am not one to really put a lot of merit into the choices made by others. It's way too easy to be pious and superior and say that anything going against God's standards/commandments is a sin and I as a right-standing Christian must rebuke (speak against or reprimand) them. The first error in this is that I am not right-standing and am in absolutely no position to judge anyone. Second, I believe that as humans we will be subject to making mistakes and should be allowed the opportunity to learn from them. As a child, hearing from a parent not to touch a hot stove sounds reasonable, however some inherent part of us will want to know what it is like to touch that hot stove. If the child goes against his/her better judgement and touches the hot stove and gets burned, now the sensation of pain will be a stronger deterrent to ever repeating that action than the spoken words of their parent.

Pastor Steven Furtick wrote in his blog:

"I don't mind those I lead making mistakes. In fact, I prefer it. If they're not making mistakes, they're probably not playing to win.

I just want you to make new mistakes. Different mistakes than you made last time. Mistakes that reveal a new level of effort, or a new frontier of endeavor."

I agree with that. Mistakes are inevitable. People should be encouraged to challenge themselves and be open to make mistakes. It's through those mistakes that we can reflect and learn what not to do and seek ways to make better choices in the future. However, let me state clearly that I don't condone people making decisions to experiment with illegal drugs or dangerous sex practices just for the sake of seeing whether they like the experience, and if not, chalking it up to a bad choice not to be repeated again.

I've had many successes in life and lots of days to enjoy the fruit of my labor, but in retrospect, I wouldn't have been able to know even a small percentage of that unless I had failed miserably or learned the hard way during the journey of life. For those of you in my generation, I'm kinda of an example of one who learned from the streets and not through countless college degrees; a student of the school of hard knocks :)

As Christians, we live under grace, therefore we should offer grace to others, just as God offered it to us.

Hebrews 4:16- Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Are there mistakes in your past that keep repeating themselves? Mistakes that were never overcome with a positive experience? No matter how long ago it was, it's never too late to turn it around! Don't be hard on yourself or be quick to condemn others for making a wrong or bad choice. We all have done it, and we'll all continue to do it.