It is never easy
To love oneself
To care for oneself

When all you have learned
Is to hate what you are

So now moving on
Trying to say goodbye to
Hate
And hello to
Love

Not easy
To accept
To hold

But I have to

Fight

For my son
My partner
And me

Well, life really is worth it

The times that I got drunk with a friend
The times that I stayed out too late whilst the next day
The times that I felt in love
The times that I stopped to smell the roses
The times that I read a good book
The times that I drink a good wisky
The times that the sun shine and I just can sit and enjoy
The times of a great coffee in the morning

The mistakes I've made that are still visible
Constantly reminding me that it's over now
And that I have learned and moved on
The smile on my son's face
The realisation that I have been able to help someone
Coming home after a rotten day

So often I forget these things
The things that make life worth it

Mind altering
Mind washing
Mind recreating
Mind messer

Is all of it a lie?
I prefer to look at it that way
And find my own way in it
Not some pre chewed
junk that you must
swallow
to become
my most hated enemy
'holier than thou'

Here I am again ... pondering the meaning of life ...
The meaning of being ... the meaning of woman ...
The meaning of the meaning ...

So often I have thought that all that pondering,
thinking, realising, hoping, struggling

To quit ... to just be ...

It's an easy way out
But it's not my way

And I wouldn't just be
If I didn't think, ponder,
realise, hope or struggle

Maybe that's what being
human, being
Alice,
means ...

For all that has gone wrong,
For all that has gone right,
I thank you.

I have never loved,
Nor ever will
This much

You are amazing still,
I hope you will find what you need,
I'll remain yours ...
Even if it isn't right, forever

Maybe I'll find what I want ...
Maybe it isn't what I have forseen ...
Maybe I need to relook some things in the eye ...
Maybe I should be thankful for what I've got ...
Maybe ... perhaps ...
Definite is that I am looking forward to what life will bring ...
Definite is that I have lost something very dear ...
Definite is that I will make it ...
Definite is that love has conquered ...
Definitely ... absolutely ...

HOW is it friggin possible ... HOW can a man ...
hurt
WHY is it always a woman's fault ... WHY must I  ...
suffer
where does it come from ... the idea ... MEN may hurt
men may cause harm ... men may hit ... men may murder ...
WOMEN must shut it ... women must listen ...
women must obey ...
BEND OR BREAK ... Words that will always follow me ...
WHEREVER i may go
Forgive I might ...Forgive I have ... Forget I can not ...