http://feeds.blogthings.com/theeastereggpersonalit...

You are responsible, loyal, and a true leader.
You are able to pick up the slack when needed...
And you never feel resentful for helping others.
You are a true friend. You enjoy knowing that people can count on you.

The Easter Egg Personality Test

http://feeds.blogthings.com/howsyourspellingquiz/

You got 9/10 correct.

Your spelling is generally pretty decent. You are prone to a few mistakes, but the mistakes you make are pretty forgivable.

How's Your Spelling?

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Your heart is open and dynamic.
You are flexible, optimistic, and expressive.
You bring honesty and intimacy to relationships.
You're good at expressing your needs to your partner.

What Are the Colors of Your Heart?

http://feeds.blogthings.com/whatdotheflowersyoupic...

You are very popular and universally admired.
You are often hopelessly in love, and you connect to other people easily.

You are a naturally cheerful and upbeat person. You have an amazing smile.
You have a fresh perspective on things. You have a different way of looking at the world.

What Do The Flowers You Pick Say About You?

It is Tuesday, February 17. There are 28 days left before my wedding. For those interested, there will be no wedding, just a Justice of the Peace. Next year when we have a bit more money, our own place, etc. etc., there will be a small ceremony, somewhere, preferably a church or the Rose Gardens, where we will renew our vows with a minister/pastor, and god willing, my fathers will both be there to see it. I also hope and pray that by that time, my daughters and Sean's daughters will be a part of our lives and our wedding.

Our sons are getting along famously, almost inseparable. I love my stepson to pieces. I've found out that my ex-husband and our daughter are living back in town and I believe I have found where they live. I've also found out that my brother and mother have had a falling out and he's living in Illinois. That in and of itself tells me I just might be able to reconnect with him. I miss my brother. We haven't been close in almost 12 years because he and I were on different sides of the mother issue. Perhaps now that it seems our mother is losing her ever loving mind, we can come together and maybe save her, though that seems impossible at this point.

Every one knows that my mother and I have a love-hate relationship. We love to hate each other. There is no other side of that issue. She is in fact responsible for most of my mental screwedupedness. Yes, Miss Grammar Nit Pick wrote that word. It's the only way I can describe it.

Visiting my grandmother (Maternal Side) for Valentine's Day, I learned that my baby books (two of them) are in fact intact and not burned to a crisp like Marguerite told me they were. I found out five years ago that there are indeed baby pics of me and have them in my possession now. Not having baby pics of myself was a bane for the longest time. They are in a locked metal case now and will be put in a fire proof box once I can afford one. That is part of my past that was lost for a really long time and now is found.

I look at my husband to be and I love him more every second. We had to separate and go about our lives and learn more about ourselves and what was really important to us. When we remembered who we were meant to be, time stood still for a moment and brought us back together. And one brilliant young man who is no longer on this earth, who I shall never get the pleasure and honor of meeting is simply responsible and to be thanked.

Jage is Dustin's cousin on his mom's side. Sean calls him his nephew and I don't know what he would be to me if anything, but I do know that he is the savior of my heart. When he died, it scared Dustin straight out of the scene they were in and Dustin took the card that Jage had handed him (this is of course the pieces that I've put together from the guys talking on occasion) with Sean's number on it. Dustin gave Sean a call and they started to develop their relationship. They aren't just father and son. They are best friends and my heart swells with joy when I see them together. When Sean and I were together the first time, I saw how his visage changed when he talked about Dustin. All I hoped for them was that one day they would get a chance to reunite and become close.

After I met Pop and developed my relationship with him, it was with more fervent prayers that I prayed the two of them would meet and bond. I see them and I watch how they are with Alexander. I weep inside knowing that this is the way things are supposed to be between parents and their children. I wish and pray that Sean and I both get this with our daughters and soon.

It is because Dustin wanted to meet his brother that Sean even called me in the first place. It is because Dustin came back around this past fall that Sean called again. And when Sean and I got around one another again, the sparks again flew and ignited into a roaring flame of protectiveness and love.

I finally get to marry the man I have always loved and it's all because of a brilliant young man I will not get to thank and hug and hold until I reach heaven and weep in God's presence, thankful for his bounty and goodness.

And yes. I've never really stopped believing in the Christian God. Never gave up the hope and love of a God whose presence I felt in my children's births. Never lost sight of the love He has shown me and the way he has built me up throughout the years.

See, I'm a witch. Of this there is no doubt. But I'm a witch who believe in Jesus Christ as my Savior and Lord. I knew he would bring Sean and I back together if he so chose. He's got a pretty messed up way of bringing it about, but it is not my place to question the will of God.

Just to love Him for it.

You know you love someone when you look at them out the corner of your eyes and you get this warm fuzzy feeling in your chest that just grows and spreads. It has nothing to do with sex, though that is enjoyable. You just want to be around them, hear their voice, smell their skin, lay next to them for the rest of your life. When you realize that even at 60 or 70 years old, and the many happy memories between the beginning and the end, that it's still not enough.

There will always be the desire for one more day. The older you get the more desirable your partner becomes. You see the beginnings of wrinkles or crow's feet and you smile because they are just as becoming on your mate as the joyful vigor of youth once were. Their eyes continue to beguile you and you still feel alive every time they look at you.

They can have an online sex buddy who knows nothing about you and it doesn't really bother you. Cause you know you have the original, the source, that you get to hold them whenever you want. You have perfect love and perfect trust in your partner and even though you know all their faults and all their past, you still love them. In fact, you love them because and despite it.

When I look at the man who will be my husband in mere weeks, I feel this utter and complete sense of calm knowing that until the day one of us dies, we're in this life together. Taking care of our children, and I do mean all of them, creating a place in this world for them. Binding up skinned knees, broken hearts, and each other.

I used to love someone so much I thought I could survive anything at all. I thought that I'd go to the ends of the earth with him. But I had a hard time letting go of this place, this home I've carved out. The fear of being alone in a strange place, where the only person I knew was my partner... I've done that before and it sucked.

None of those fears exist now. He's always been in my heart. From the first time I saw him and thought he looked familiar, felt a pull... From the moment I first heard his voice and thought the words "You were mine once. You will be again." From the moment I looked into his eyes and saw my son staring back at me. From the moment I clung to him and realize who I truly was. He is my heart and my soul. My Husband and my King.

The Taming of the Shrew... Read it sometime. Oh... It's by William Shakespeare. If you can't handle reading... Pick up the version with Liz Taylor in the role of Katherine the Shrew.

You'll soon see what I mean.

I've been blissfully happy for about the past week. Marrying Sean was all I wanted five years ago. But there was a slight legal technicality that prevented it. That technicality is gone, thank God.

But then the enormity of the situation hit me and I feared I would never hear the end of the crap about why it's a bad idea. So I went on the defensive in my last post.

The whole thing is that while I told every one that I hated Sean, I was simply trying to convince myself that I didn't love him any more. But over the years with court, every time I would see him, I'd want to hold him and tell him that every thing would be all right. And I would then be mad at myself for even feeling that way.

When I started to come over here to let Alexander and Sean and Dustin have time together, I found myself reconnecting with all the feelings and emotions. I realized really quickly that I still really cared about him.

When the ice storm hit and electricity went out all over the city, the only place I had to go was here. And then I realized as I watched him and heard him laugh, that I didn't just still care about him. I'm still in love with him.

He was a mean dick and I was a whiny bitch all those years ago. He's still a dick and I'm still a bitch, but the less desirable parts of mean and whiny are gone.

We still love each other and to put it bluntly, we're more in love with each other now than we were back when we had our individual issues.

He's always been my heart and always made my soul soar.

I just didn't realize how much.

Temporarily, for the past 24 hours, my name on MySpace was changed to "Mrs. Sean Taylor." Yes, you read that right.

If you don't like it, I don't care.

This is what I want. Lex adores his father and brother. This is our family. Our terms.

On January 24th, 2009, Sean and I will be getting married.

More details if you care to know will show up here every now and again.

That's if I can convince my soon to be stepson to let me borrow his computer every now and again, tearing him or his father away from the MySpace games I introduced them to.

I've created monsters.

I love music. Frankly, this isn't big news. My private reactions to music aren't always that well known.

A few know of the first time I listened to Linkin Park's Hybrid Theory all the way through and what I did with my botm (boyfriend of the moment) during the second playing. lol

A lot of people know I absolutely adore John Mayer's early stuff. Or how I got turned onto Dave Matthews. Or how 112's Peaches n' Cream makes me tingle and glow.

As I get older, my reactions to hearing music has become a more physical thing. I don't know if it's because I've learned how to let music flow through me and hit my soul, wrap around it and consume it.

Diecast. Prime example. Standing at the front barrier by the stage in Piere's with my sister who I still didn't know very well at the time, hearing "Fade Away", "Hourglass", "The Coldest Rain", and particularly "Never Forget"... a quick wave of tingle finger tapped its way up my arms into my shoulders, caressing my torso, and settling in my center.

When I have incredible sensual, passionate, and seductive sex... The same thing happens. *shrugs* Weird, but would you really expect anything less from moi?

There's certainly other music that has this affect on me, but considering I run a site completely dedicated to Diecast and one for Jon and one for Paul as well? Yeah, I think I'm a little keen on the guys.

So when I headed over to their page after remembering I've been lax in my weekly visits to check on the news... I pressed play on the new song, "Sanctified". I got the tingle.

It's a demo, I get that, and could use some cleaning up and fine-tuning, but I know I'm going to love the end result if even the rough draft is giving me The Tingle.

Heavy Metal fan? Check out the new songs. I highly doubt you'll regret it.

Not a Heavy Metal fan? Check out the new songs and some of the ones from the last album Internal Revolution. You may just wind up a convert like me.

Romance and Relationships is the only category I can really think to put this in and yet I'm not going to say much and there is no current relationship being written of tonight.

But what the fuck?!?!

Three exes in four weeks. What is up with the cosmos? Two of the friendships have been renewed and everything is hunky dory. Like, Hey, how you doing. Saw this new movie trailer, thought you'd like it. You should check it out. Or say, hey, how's our kid doing? Bring him over Tuesday? Great, we'll all have dinner or watch a movie. That sort of thing. These two make complete and utter sense to me.

The last one though. Damn. He had me so pissed off. Even when we tried the 'just friends, no benefits' thing. Wound up getting me pissed off so bad I blocked his ass from most things. Now he wants to rekindle the friendship cause I was a best friend that he could talk to about anything and now that he needs a friend like the one I was, there's no one there. Or at least that's what it sounded like to me.

I'm still all shades of pissed at the guy. Mostly cause I still have some "I care" feelings and that pisses me off more than he does. Oil and Water. That's what we were. And even the friendship. Grrrr. What the hell is up with all my exes contacting me anyway?!?!

When I finally learn to stop searching out long lost memories that should stay buried, they resurface anyway.

Damn.

Way back in the day, I should have just become Catholic and become a nun.