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Wednesday, July 01, 2009 11:11 PM

soooooo........
Current mood:

I know it's awful to whine and to complain.... but sometimes I really can't help it... My computer is deteriorating... Another words, IT SUCKS. Errrgh. Class starts on Monday and my stupid computer is... well... not nearly as new as it was when I got it lol. I need a laptop :( For a few reasons; one being health related and another being the convenience of being in class no matter where I might be. Ohhhhhhhhhhh well.... lol. This too shall pass.

Hey on a good note.. we got better internet today! WOOOT! We had been having frequent disconnects with our DSL ever since late April... A LOOOOOONG TIME to have crappy internet. But we've got Road Runner now WOOOOT!!!! Thanks to some help from a friend :)

I gotta go mope around and be sad that I don't have a laptop... lol... Hope everyone is doin good :) :P

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Monday, June 08, 2009 1:02 AM

A Good Recommendation...
Current mood:

excited
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

I'm sorry I haven't been writing much... but I do have something to say tonight. EVERYONE MUST FIND AND WATCH THE MOVIE "THE UNINVITED" IT IS GREAT!!!!!!!!!!! lol that's all for now :P My b-day is in a couple days, maybe I'll have something cool to write about after that!

Hope Everyone is Good :)

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Thursday, April 30, 2009 5:00 AM

It's almost May... and here come the flowers!!!!!!!
Current mood:

optimistic
Category: Life

Okay, first I'll refresh your memory from my last post where it pertains to my struggling Civilization class. I had a running total of 45.29% with two essays and a final quiz left to take, and need that total to go up/over 60% in order to pass. Alright- now that you're refreshed.... Wanna know how I'm doing so far?!?! I've got four days left in the course, and time is of the essence! Last Sunday I handed in one of those essays- and the instructor gave me a perfect score for it! That boosted my running total from 45.29% up to 51.79%! (I was surprised, I really didn't think I understood what that assignment was about.. but apparantely I knew more than enough). So, at that point I only needed like 9% more onto my total to pass the class, and I still had the quiz and I have another essay to write too. The Final Quiz is worth 12% if every question's right. Okay, and I just spent the last few hours diligently, carefully, and patiently taking that final Civilization Quiz. The great thing is that these quizzes give you your grade automatically when you finish- so I already know what I scored. Anyone curious?!?!?! Well honestly I didn't score as much as I thought I would- I was marking down how many I thought I would get wrong because I just couldn't find the info anywhere in my book/notes/online or anything. I had 8 marks made, so I knew I wouldn't get a perfect score. But anyway... I ended up with 20 questions wrong out of 50. Usually I have 35 questions wrong out of 50 for this class so I definitely scored a lot better than any other quiz I've taken for Civilization. Want to know how much the 30 questions I got right boosted my running total?!?! It's pretty exciting :D I got a 60 on the final, and that gained me 7.2% (out of what was a possible 12%) toward my running total. So.......... my new running total is 58.99%!!!!!! I only need 1.01% to pass, and I've still got an essay to do that is worth 6.5%.

Wow- that's a lot of numbers... I hope it makes sense to everyone else and not just me. Basically, there is truly NO REASON why I won't at least pass the course. I could probably hand in a document with just my name, the date, and five sentences and still get the credit I need to pass. lol. I AM HAPPY!!!!! I knew that if I relaxed and didn't over stress things I would end up just fine! I still wish I could have done better than just scraping by... but at least now I'll be able to get my financial aid back and get back on track in the fall after my Pell Grant pays the school back for letting me take these two classes I've been in without financial aid.

I don't see how things couldn't work out now. Does anyone have any idea how amazing this feels right now?!?! I was so discouraged for awhile there... and it seems like things are really going to take a positive turn again! Life isn't perfect or anything, but I am feeling pretty optimistic that all aspects of life will start brightening up for me and the people close to me. Ya know something? This is proof that if you set your expectations really low- you will always end up pleasantly surprised :D

Time for me to catch up on some sleeeeeeep!!

Have Fun. Be Safe. Take Care. Be GOOD... or be good AT IT!

~~Ashley Ellen AKA: Geeksta~~

Currently reading:
Programming with Microsoft Visual Basic 2005, Third Edition
By Diane Zak

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Saturday, April 25, 2009 9:30 PM

Three Weeks Later....
Current mood:

breezy
Category: Life

Things are okay once again. Well, honestly everything is still not okay- but I'm handling things better now it seems. It has been three weeks since my last blog post... usually I don't go that long without posting something. I've really been trying to study more, take better notes, make sure I ask questions about my homework thoroughly and to the right people so I can get the best help that I can. At the same time I've also been making sure I get to relax and remember to just live too.

Last weekend was Autumn and Drew's baby Mason's first birthday party. Ryan, Kendra, and I went and spent the day with Autumn and Mason pretty much all day on Sunday. I'm really glad we went, because ever since then things have seemed better for some reason. It really cheers me up to know that I've still got such an awesome friend in Autumn! I took more than a hundred pictures at the birthday party, then came home and picked out the top 80 pics and made a new album with them here on myspace. So if you haven't checked 'em out (and are interested enough) go ahead and take a peek. You have to be on my friend's list to view the album I believe, so if any readers out there are just bein sneaky and reading my blogs without being my friend then tough luck for you! lol.

I've reached Finals Week (starting Monday, and ending next Sunday) once again for my Florida Tech classes. I've made it this far, and hopefully good things will happen during my exams and I'll do well. This semester has really tested my abilities and put me completely on edge at times. The stress of knowing that if I don't pass both these classes things are going to have to change a lot for me just eats and eats at me. My Visual Basic (computer programming) class is going pretty good thankfully. On the other hand, my Civilization (ancient history) class is going very bad. Here- let me give you guys the image I have in the back of my mind haunting me as the semester is so close to being over. Our running total has to be 60% or above at the end of the course in order to pass. Right now my running total for Civilization is 45.29%. I have three assigned things left to do. Two are essays worth 6.5% each and the other is the Final Quiz which is worth 12%. On average throughout the term I've only been getting 4% toward my running total from quizzes. And 5% toward running total from essays. That means that if I give it my best like I have been then at this point I will most likely only earn 14% from the remaining assignments. I need 14.71% earned in order to pass. Another words, I really don't see how I'll pass Civilization unless I get a better score than I usually have on the final quiz. That seems kinda impossible though, because I've spent 4 hours on a quiz looking every question up three times and making sure I'm happy with the answer and still only scored a 32 on it. I have to score at least a 50 on the quiz, and try my best to write some darn good essays... which you wouldn't think would be hard to do, but it really is for this class.

The good news is that my Visual Basic running total is already over the 60% mark, so my Final Exam and last assignments will just be an increase for my GPA. My final grade should end up being somewhere between 77 and 87. That's great news to me! So, at least I know I will pass the class that is actually pertaining to the degree I'm going for. I don't know why I have to take ancient history classes... What does ancient history have to do with computers? Absolutely Nothing! Still though, I won't have my financial aid back still if I don't pass both of them.

This is what I foresee happening... I have to take 8 weeks off after this term no matter what, because I wasn't able to register for new classes without any financial aid or payment plan started. In July I'm supposed to be issued a Pell Grant into my student account for between $2500 and $4500. If I do fail Civilization then I'll have to start a payment plan towards what I owe now (hopefully I'll find some kind of work this summer) and then the Pell can pay tuition for one 3-credit class ($1500) so i can try to earn the 3 credits I need before I can get back up and running with financial aid again. I already owe $3500 right now though because of the two classes I'm in. So it's going to be really tight even when I do get the Pell Grant.

But anyway... today Ryan and I spent about an hour outside soaking up the beautiful rays of the sun! It felt so nice! It was a high of 76 degrees here today.. and for us that is AWESOME! I'm sooo happy that Winter is OVER and the snow is GONE! The sun really does induce happiness into the brain. Despite the stresses resting on my mind... I feel pretty good. If I approach finals week calmly, I'm sure it will go better than if I let myself get all worked up about it.

I can honestly say that for some reason I just know that no matter what happens everything is going to be just fine. Everything does happen for some kind of reason in the end. If I fail Civilization, then I'll have learned a very valuable lesson about "biting off more than I can chew" and facing the consequences. It doesn't matter though, because I will NOT give up on my education. When I get to register for classes again I'm going to take classes one at a time in the future so that the chance of a mess like this happening again is extremely slim.

I will have a Bachelor of Arts in Business Administration and Computer Information Systems someday no matter what it takes or how long it takes to achieve it.

Take Care Everyone!

~~Ashley Ellen~~

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Sunday, April 05, 2009 8:00 PM

To be honest... I'm not good
Current mood:

stressed
Category: Life

If you ask me how I'm doing, I'll say "Oh- I'm doin fine" or something along those lines. Inside my head I'm screaming, "SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE!" No one can help me though... not even the people who are supposed to help me can help me.

It's not like I expected college to be easy... but I expected to at least have helpful professors and tutoring websites for all classes, etc. The two classes I'm taking right now have no designated tutors. None of the classes have real professors in a sense that you would imagine them. They are just guides... to make sure we know what is expected of us, and they don't help us learn anything. Which is okay, because the best way to learn something is to do it yourself. There are some things that just cannot be self taught though. For instance, computer programming... ummm HELLO I am not a computer genius, how the heck do I know how to program applications with a dozen different techniques if I've never witnessed it or had someone explain any of it to me?

The most stressful part... is that these two classes are not covered by financial aid. I have the school hounding me for $3500 for these classes, and that won't stop until it's paid- regardless of how well I do on these classes. Aside from that, I have to pass BOTH classes and get all the credits from them in order to qualify to reapply for financial aid. And I really don't see how that is going to happen. I've had two exams in my Civilization class so far and the HIGHEST score I got was a 48 on the first one I did. NOT good... not good at all. It doesn't even matter how hard I try in the other class if I don't pass the one I'm already basically failing. This will have to be it for me. I can't afford $3,500 every eight weeks for tuition and books on my own without financial aid. I am doing pretty well with my programming class, I got a 90 on the midterm today... but I'm stuck in the actual homework at a point I can't get past and I'm slipping further and further behind. I don't know how it's possible to know the material well enough to practically ace a midterm, but not know how to get through the little assignments. But anyway.... if I don't pass both with at least a 60 average at the end of the term (in just another short 4 weeks) then I will completely flunk out from not being able to have financial aid. So the last year will have been... What? Just a waste of time?

I don't know... I've lost hold of any hope I had worked hard to gain for myself. If I don't believe in myself, then no one else will either. If no one else ever believes in me, then the rest of my life I'll just continue to be the useless lump sitting in front of a computer writing in her blog about how dumb and pathetic she is.

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Ashley Ellen

Ashley Oldenburg

Last Updated: 4/28/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: Engaged
Age: 25
Sign: Gemini

State: Maine
Country: US

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