Practice, man....



HOLY FUCK!!! I'M GONNA PLAY CARNEGIE HALL!!!!!!

This will only ever happen once in my lifetime, and it's gonna be a serious fucking hoot. Maybe even a holler. This, my friends, will be worth the trip. Promise.

We've put together this info page with a link for ticket sales. Please note, however: [b]THE LINK FOR TICKET SALES WILL NOT GO LIVE 'TIL ELEVEN A.M. THIS MORNING, EST (MEANING TODAY).[/b]

Carnegie Hall's not announcing the show/sales info to the rest of the world (who won't care anyway) 'til 4/20 (har-har). That means, if you're so inclined to watch a fat boob (who ironically sports two fat boobs) sweat and swear on the greatest stage in the world, the best seats are up for grabs for the next few days.

I'd be lying if I said this was a dream come true; because what fucking useless pud-knocker with no quantifiable talents would ever dream about playing Carnegie Hall. I'm not Yo Yo Ma; I'm Mo' Mo' Devil Dogs.

And yet, here we are.

I hope you can make it. I really do (especially 'cause that place is a fucking barn that I don't know if I can fill).

Today's the day, folks. I've been out there whoring the flick for the last month, and God-willing, some people will show up to see "Zack and Miri Make a Porno".

Thanks to all of you who've already said such nice things about the flick. We're very proud of it, and hope you folks dig it.

To celebrate, here's a fan-made poster that I absolutely love...



If you're looking for some laughs this weekend, c'mon out and peep our "Porno".

We're inching ever closer to that October 31st release date, folks. I'm doing "The Tonight Show" Friday, then the junket all weekend, and the Premiere on Monday the 20th at Grauman's Chinese Theater. After that, I head east for some Devils' games and a NY premiere at CMJ on the 23rd, then a homecoming of sorts in Pittsburgh, where we'll debut the flick we shot there last winter. Then, back home for release week.

Getting excited. I've seen a slew of bus stop ads and billboards...


TV spots are starting to run a bunch, too.

Seth and I are on the cover of Complex magazine this month...


Fuck, I wish I was still that thin. I've porked the fuck out, man. I'm really, really fat right now. Fattest I've ever been. But as soon as this flick's out, I'm taking my life back; gonna drop out of sight and drop a bunch of pounds. It's the deal I've made with myself. Just gotta make it through the next two and half weeks of press and running around.

There's a pretty sweet add-on to the official "Zack and Miri Make a Porno" website that looks like this...



Visit the site and click on everything. Lots of sounds bytes, hidden stuff and video clips.

Meanwhile, in the midst of all this "Zack and Miri" stuff, I forgot this was coming out as well...

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That's the birthday Q&A from last year's Count Basie show. Hits stores a week from today...

And for you comic book folks, this comes out at the start of November...



Big month around here. Hope ya'll can come out and support the flick. Then, come November 1st, if you see me with any junk food in my hand, you are entitled to kick me in the ass. If I'm sitting, remind me I have to comply; I will stand and allow for one free kick.

Fucking Air Canada locked me out of my fucking flight even though I was in the terminal at 9:48 for an 11:05 flight! After waiting in a line for fifteen minutes, with no announcement that they were closing my Edmonton flight, I get to the desk, where I'm told it's too late: I'm locked out of the flight. And when I'm like "I'll ditch my luggage. Can't I just get my boarding pass so I can get on that plane?" I'm told "No. They won't let me ticket you. The flight's closed."

And there were still 20 minutes to go before they even started boarding, and 50 MINUTES before the flight even took off!

I'm sorry: I fucking hate Air Canada.

After all that time wasted at the Air Canada desk, desperately trying to get someone to do the right thing, I ran around from airlines to airlines (fat sweaty man, two cumbersome bags) trying to get to Edmonton before 7pm. The best anyone could do was get me there by 10-ish. I offered to start the Q&A then, but understandably, the folks running the gig felt that by the time I got through customs and hauled ass from the airport, we were looking at a close to 11 o'clock start time.

So the gig's been called off.

Makeup date has already been chosen: Wednesday, OCTOBER 8TH.

My apologies folks. My bags were packed the night before, and I left for the airport with more than enough time. I was in the terminal with time to spare before the cut-off (and, I mean, a full hour they cut that shit off at? Jesus...), and still, I wasn't allowed on the plane. I offered to ditch my luggage, and still I wasn't allowed on the plane. Air Canada can suck it.

NO SHOW TONIGHT. Q&A'S BEEN MOVED TO OCTOBER 8TH.

Calgarians: this won't effect your show on Tuesday. Rest assured, I WILL BOOK UNDER A DIFFERENT AIRLINES and make sure I'm there, in Calgary, with time to spare.

Here's a "Zack and Miri" ad that you can embed all over the 'net. If you've got the time and the inclination, please do so (there's an embed code available at the end of the animation).

But more importantly... Hey! Alberta, Canada brothers and sisters!

I'm coming back to A your Q's.

First up? Edmonton on Sunday night (two days from now). At the Winspear Centre. Sunday, September - 8:00pm

Order Edmonton Tickets Here.

Then, on Tuesday, September 30th, in Calgary, at the Southern Alberta Institute of Technology. Jubilee Auditorium. 8pm.



Tickets available through Ticketmaster.

If you happen to be in that part of Canada this weekend, please come to one (or both) of the shows. I'll try to keep it lively.

Our frustration in getting an MPAA approval on the American poster led to last-resort ideas about showcasing dopey, simple images instead of risque pics of our leads - which, in turn, led to what's now the official American poster for the flick...



I like it a bunch. Simple and kinda ballsy. Should be up in theaters this weekend.

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Just got back from Toronto Film Fest debut, and the early word on the flick, critically, is pretty sweet...

Roger Ebert's review.

Variety review.

CinemaBlend review.

Empire Movies review.

Screen Daily review.

James Berardinelli review.

Dark Horizons review.

Onion AV Club review.

SlashFilm review.

First Showing review.

Time review.

MSN mini review.

NY Post's Kyle Smith review.

Hollywood Elsewhere review.

There's also a Hollywood Reporter review, but I can't get the link to cooperate.

Salon.com interview regarding the MPAA (HEAVY SPOILERS)

Variety video blog interview.

Variety Toronto Wrap-Up Piece.

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This is the poster in Canada...

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And this is the Canadian poster...


U.S. poster is almost locked.

Tomorrow, I head out to Toronto for our debut.

In fact, here's a bunch of places you can see it before the flick opens, 10/31...

9/7 - Toronto Film Fest
9/9 - Toronto Film Fest
9/10 - Jacob Burns Film Center (Westchester)
9/18 - Fantastic Fest in Austin
10/5 - Woodstock Film Fest

Can't wait for you all to see it...

That's not it. That's just a pic of what it looks like.

To watch it, CLICK HERE!

At an appeals screening last week, we were able to overturn the MPAA's NC17 rating for "Zack and Miri Make a Porno" to a more audience-friendly R without making any cuts...


All that really means is that what you see in theaters will be exactly what we were hoping to show you in theaters. None of this waiting around for the unrated DVD shit.

Meantime, here's another pic from the flick...



"Zack and Miri Make a Porno" opens October 31st.
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Crazy 4 Cult 2 is happening next week (on Melrose here in Los Angeles), and to get you a little wet for it, here are some advance images from the show...

Giant versions of 2cents' promo pieces are being installed inside the gallery...


As well as outside...


When the show opens, you'll see pretty fantastic pieces inspired by cult cinema. Like this piece by Andrew Wilson that's a veritable orgy of movie characters...

(If you wanna identify every character in the piece, surf over to this page).

Peep this "Stand by Me" piece...


Here's a familiar family portrait...


Name the flick...


Genius...


Some of you may remember the Crazy 4 Cult art exhibit Scott and I hosted at Gallery 1988 (on Melrose in L.A.) last summer.

Well, it's happening again...



August 22 at Gallery 1988, on Melrose in Los Angeles. View some wicked cool, movie-inspired art, then hang out afterwards for a party in the parking lot. If it's anything like last year's show, it's gonna be crowded (over a thousand peeps showed up) and fun.

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If you're gonna be in L.A. for the show, how's about rolling some cards as well?

The next (and first one since last year) Secret Stash West Hold 'Em McNeil Poker Tourney is the day after the Crazy 4 Cult event: Saturday, August 23rd. Interested parties looking to secure a seat and take home some green should send those emails to donkey@viewaskew.com.
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You say you're on the east coast and can't make it out for either Crazy 4 Cult or the Stash West Poker Tourney? No worries: we've got an events for you, too.

Firstly, the Toronto International Film Festival just announced that "Zack and Miri Make a Porno" will have it's world premiere there, Sunday, Sept. 7th. You can buy tickets here, starting Sept. 3. Be one of the first to see the flick in advance of its October 31st opening!

If you can't make it to Toronto for the screening, how about coming to Jersey for some Q&A? On November 7th, I'll be at the Count Basie Theater in Red Bank for my third hometown Q&A...


Last year's show was shot for the next "Evening with Kevin Smith" DVD (due in stores this October). This time, there won't be any cameras getting in our way, as we shoot the shit for five-plus hours. Ticket info can be found here.

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In case you missed me at the San Diego ComiCon this year, here are a bunch of links to some YouTube clips.

It was a busy Con for me: I moderated two panels (Scream Like a Girl and the "Battlestar Galactica" panel), sat on another (the Entertainment Weekly Visionaries panel), and hosted my own (the "Zack and Miri Make a Porno" panel). Peep out the clips.
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The kind folks at VisionFest are giving me an award next week, at the Director's Guild here in L.A. Not sure if it's open to the public or not, but if it is, roll up.
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We're unloading more props! Click here for the current Auctions Askew list.
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And just so it's not all about me and my shit...

I saw "Watchmen." It's fucking astounding. The Non-Disclosure Agreement I signed prevents me from saying much, but I can spout the following with complete joygasmic enthusiasm: Snyder and Co. have pulled it off.

Remember that feeling of watching "Sin City" on the big screen and being blown away by what a faithful translation of the source material it was, in terms of both content and visuals? Triple that, and you'll come close to watching "Watchmen." Even Alan Moore might be surprised at how close the movie is to the book. March can't come soon enough.

If you love "Shaun" and "Fuzz", then how the fuck can you not love "Spaced"?

Right before the start of ComiCon, get your ass to the Stash for the British Invasion!



Get all the info right here!