03/10/08......'MR ALBARN':
The documentary about the chinese opera 'Journey To The West' was wonderful.
Damon Albarn is such a workaholic. Such an inspiration! During his pop days he was overwhelmingly innovative. Now he always endeavours to reinvent. Always strives to break boundaries with his versatility. A true artist. Sadly there are not many around today. 'Monkey', the accompanying album release of the opera, is sublime and captivating. Although not as breathtaking
as Albarn's 'The Good The Bad And The Queen' debut, (arguably album of the decade so far) 'Monkey', written in mandarin, intertwines chinese classical music with modern electronica to dizzying heights. 'The Dragon King', 'Omi To Fu', Confessions Of A Pig', I Love Buddha' and 'Monkey Bee' are the highlights for me. The songs are so multi-layered and full of texture. The atmospherics are so evocative and varied. All i need now is £70 to attend the opera in all it's splendour at the o2 arena in December. Unfortunately i am a street urchin.

01/10/08......'THE POLISH BED':
I have a Swedish-Croat friend called Pamela Madita. I guess we fell out a while ago because I gave her a gigantic bag of my dirty laundry to wash. I don't own a washing machine you see and she kindly offered to do it for me. However, after she had washed my clothes she placed them back into the bag and threw it into my concrete garden. Obviously, being from Finsbury Park and all, the bag got stolen. I guess I should have expected it from a girl who changes her job and house every three weeks. She is very clever but very unreliable. She's a full time nanny who hates spoilt middle-class kids and a part-time journalist for a German magazine I cannot remember the name of. I have been going commando a lot recently because I have no pants. I was most disillusioned about losing my Arsenal top though. Anyhow I don't hold grudges with people who say sorry and she did. She then told me about her friend Jade. Jade makes me want to vomit. She is the kind of girl I would enjoy murdering, chopping into little pieces, burying her in finsbury park at 4am, then outwitting the police after. At least she has no blanket anymore.

29/08/08......'THE OCEAN IS COLOUR BLIND':
She is clinical with her passion because she is detached from anything that isn't fact or comprehensible to the human mind. But this illuminates her stubborn dolly face and high cheek bones even more! I hope she will not harm herself with those drugs. I don't like them anymore. Snorting is hardly attractive either.
But snorkeling is. When you find a fish as unique and colourful as her.

02/08/08......'CAESAR':
Caesar is a crazy eccentric who lives in Hampstead Heath. I first met Caesar on the heath when it was thundering. She asked me if i could paint. I said: "Yes, badly."
She said: "Good, i'm putting on a bad painting exhibition." I thought this was quite a witty and manipulative reply. It made me contribute a painting.
Caesar is a tennis fanatic. She has been playing everyday since she was 20. Yesterday we played together for an hour. I won 5-4. I'm nothing special. Caesar was far superior technically. She had me running around the court like a lunatic on speed.
But she is 70 years old! My young legs enabled me to return all her shots until she got exhausted. Caesar told me, 'I started playing tennis because all the men I dated wanted to fuck all day and i needed to find a way to tire them out.' It is obvious that Caesar was a real femme fatale in her day. She has such mystery and character in her face. A nutty english upper-class bird. Apparently she smokes "pot" and throws great tea parties on wednesdays too if you are interested nan?
After the game i took my brother for drinks and a meal. It was pay day you see. He could have had anything he liked on the menu. He chose burger, chips and ketchup.

17/07/08......'SPANIEL SPOKE':
She insinuated i was as naive as a dog because i trust people.
Dogs are not naive. They are a man's best friend. And that's because they are loyal.
Although they are dumb and smell a bit. So yes. I am a dog.
But not one of those chav ones with muscles.

09/07/08......'SUPERSTITION':
A black crow flew over my head and dropped a shit on me today. Where i'm from that's good luck!

21/04/08......'OFFICE WORKERS':
I was recently working in an office in Holborn. Luckily i got away with wearing jeans. I thought I would hate it but it shattered a lot of ignorant stereotypes i held about office workers. I met some great people. There was also a free espresso, tea, vegetable soup and fizzy orange machine. Everyone in the office looked very bemused by all the empty plastic cups spread across my desk. What was really odd though was how the male office workers took private wees in the cubicles rather than stand next to you at the urinal. Are office worker's willies different? What are they hiding under their suits? Maybe they are just shy. My responsibility in the office was to contact examiners to mark GCSE and A Level papers. I managed to find out the name of the examiner who downgraded my English A Level paper from an A grade to a B grade. I removed Mr Simmons from the computer database so he won't be marking any papers this year. I am back working on my beloved Hampstead Heath now, singing with the birds.

07/04/08......'DOMINIK WOJCIK':
Life is meaningless without tea. My friend Dominik came from France to visit me at the weekend. I made him a cup of coffee. He sipped it and then tipped it down the sink. He apologised in case this offended me but i thought it was a really stylish thing to do.

22/03/08......'DRESSING GOWNS':
My friend Gypsy questioned my fondness of dressing gowns recently. I told him that not many things surpass the comfort of a dressing gown when you exit the bathtub! I told him he should like them because they are androgynous items. Gypsy's old band were called 'Querelle' you see. He took the name from the androgynous Fassbinder film adaption of Jean Genet's book. Dressing gowns make one feel warm and delicate like an angel falling from the sky, but they also make one feel brutal like an invincible boxer!

I jab like Rocky Balboa when I have my dressing gown on.

18/03/08......'TO BE CHAV OR NOT TO BE':
I was invited to a warehouse party on saturday but it was more like a gallery. This rude pretentious wally was walking around all night asking everyone to be careful of the tacky t.shirts on display. Still it was free cocktails. As i was leaving i purposely spilt some of my white russian on one of the sacred t.shirts.

On the way home this girl ran onto the bus screaming for help as two chavs were beating her boyfriend up for no reason. It was horrible. No one got off the bus so i did. I have not had a fight for ages but i knocked one of them out. The other chav threw his bottle of beer at me but it missed and he ran off. Everyone on the bus cheered at me when i got back on. I felt proud...like when i was 8 years old and came 7th in the intermediate disco dancing competition at the Fir Tree in Wellingborough. Wish I still had the black sequin outfit I wore. I'm a softie really. I love being tucked into bed.

I accidentally nicked a cadbury's creme egg before the ruck happened. Maybe i will be on crime watch this week.

08/03/08......'MOONS':
My phone rang at 10am this morning. Way too early considering it was a heavy Friday night at the Griffin. I only answered out of curiosity. A lively animated voice said: "Nath, it's Steven Gillson, fancy a fry up on me?" Steven is an old school friend of mine who i have not seen for many years. He obtained my number through a mutual friend on facebook. Once upon a time when i was a child i phoned Steven up and said: "Steve, Shed Seven are playing in London tonight do you fancy driving me and the boys down?" Shed Seven were Steven's favourite band and he was the only one of my friend's who could drive. It was a selfish thing to do though as Shed Seven weren't playing at all. It was two of my favourite bands at the time who were performing, Sebadoh and Stereolab, and i couldn't risk missing them for anything! Still, we laughed about it over our fry up with extra eggs and hash browns in the Archway cafe. Steven was the only boy in our year at school who could dunk a basketball. It was fascinating to watch! He told me he had been travelling through Asia for the last year. One day he went scuba diving in Thailand and his contact lense slipped behind his left eyeball and infected his eye. A week later in hospital the doctor told him: "Mr Gillson, this is gonna hurt really bad!" The doctor then proceeded to insert a needle the length of a finger into the corner of Steven's eye socket. When Steven screamed in agony the two nurses present said: "Mr Gillson you are such a cry baby, cry baby, cry baby!". I laughed out loud when Steven told me this as i thought he was joking. However, he said the nurses practically sang the words "cry baby" to him. He said he was a victim of torture. He called the British Embassy to get him out of there quick which they did. He had to leave Thailand soon after this as he slept with the daughter of a psycho kick boxer. I'm glad he did though as it was great to see him today. Steven is a salesman now. He drove me home in his Mondeo company car. When i stepped out of the car and said good bye Steven said: "When i look up at the moon now with my left eye i see twelve of them!"

04/03/08......'A MASTER CLASS IN PASSING':
Arsenal 2 - AC Milan 0. Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not only are we the first English team in history to win at the San Sero but we won with such style and finesse that Barcelona will now realise Arsenal are the most beautiful and flamboyant passing side in the world - let alone Europe!

08/01/08......'GRAZALEMA':
My friend Nick Hinde and i went to Southern Spain for a few days. We visited a secret village called Grazalema in Andalucia. Grazalema's quaint little streets and cobbled floors were stunning and authentic. Nick promised blazing sunshine and hikes through mountains, valleys, rivers, springs, pools, waterfalls and the sound of rushing water in the mountain torrents, otters, golden eagles and other exotic wildlife. All we got was torrential rain. We had to sit in the local bar all day drinking San Miguel and playing chess. The locals looked at us very strangely. In retrospect i guess it was stupid of me to only take a single pair of bright green skinny jeans and Nick looked just like Napolean in his military black shoulder padded jacket complete with golden buttons and braces. Still the landlord liked us. On the third day in he even started sliding our pints along the bar counter fully expecting us to catch them at the other end. It was like being in a spaghetti western film whilst the grandeur of mountains outside loomed over us.

17/12/07......'TAKE CARE':
The hilariously witty Tommy Grin called me a shit head tonight. She said i promised weeks ago that i would write a passage on my all time favourite song for her. Here it is Tommy. A serious response for a serious request:

Big Star - 'Take Care'

I'm not a huge fan of Big Star but their experimental 'Third Album/Sister Lovers' has stunning moments. For me the most exquisite song on the album is 'Take Care'. I must have played it 10 times in a row when i was introduced to it. It is the only song that has made me cry. Luckily this happened when my girlfriend at the time was in the bath: boys don't cry. Maybe it is a song about a relationship break up, but it strikes me more as a farewell song; reminiscent of a suicide note.

In Britain "take care" is something everyone casually says to one another as they are parting company. It's like a cliche that holds no weight or sincerity. Yet in this song it is said with such honesty, meaning and intimacy. So much so that you feel someone close to you is whispering it in your ear.

"Take care not to hurt yourself
Beware of the need for help
You might need too much
And people are such...."

"Take care, please take care"

Chilton does not explain what people are in the song but this speaks volumes. He chooses to say nothing because people who let you down when you are vulnerable and in need of help are precisely that...nothing. The gentle disgust in his tonal inflections reinforce this idea aswell.

The final verse is more bare and exposed.

"This sounds a bit like goodbye
In a way it is i guess
As i'm near your side
I'm taking the air"

The words "In a way it is i guess" are delivered very gradually and with such conviction. This adds to the poignancy of the song and the accompanying cello and backing vocals during this part are perfectly considered and well placed. The song has an overwhelming feeling of loneliness and solitude about it. The atmospheric guitars enhance this by being so distant, whilst the strings, woodwinds and haunting vocal melodies lend the song an enchanting other worldliness. 'Take Care' is quite simply an untouchable melancholic masterpiece.

11/12/07......HARLEQUIN:
My friend Cherry Kowalski popped round to my bedsit in Finsbury Park today for a cup of tea. Cherry brought two presents with her not including the pair of jeans she kindly altered for me. One was a special cherry red waiter's friend to help me open my wine with a bit more suave and the other was a harlequin brooch. Cherry says i remind her of a harlequin. Maybe she is being sarcastic because i talk a load of rubbish and she would prefer me to remain mute. But i love my harlequin brooch. I love the way the harlequin is playing a little accordian. It has an authentic 70's look about it. I am going to pin it to my coat. Cherry is a good egg. I even got a peck on the lips when she left. I'm a lucky boy!

10/12/07......MY NEW FRIEND:
John and Dominic i have a confession to make. Maybe i am a phoney too! I have just made a friend over the internet. Her name is Anna. She gives herself the ironic surname Karina. I told her: "Maybe i have some issues that could be resolved on the Jeremy Kyle show but his condescending nature tends to work best on council estate single-mothers who are victims of domestic violence: aswell as their incestuous alcoholic gambling fathers, anti-depressant acne ridden socially inept gothic sisters and cross eyed boy-racer glue sniffing brothers!"

To which Anna replied..."Never have I read something which seems to have listed everything which is wrong with society barre Cliff Richard. But that is another problem within itself. I think Jeremy Kyle is a guilty pleasure, like girls aloud singles........
Anyway, my friend and I were going to be audience members who would heckle everytime anyone clapped when Jeremy spoke of his junkie brother or make one of them generic speeches about how every father would travel across the sahara desert with one leg and a "best of 80s" mix tape just to see his children for 0.5 seconds."

Max, we just need you to join the club now!

08/12/07......JAMES HAIR:
I am going to see my old pal James Hair soon. He has the strongest handshake in the land. I heard through the grapevine that James has got himself a pet rabbit and has painted some flames and a skull and cross bone on its cage. My mate Gavin reckons this makes him a star! I agree.

01/12/07......PHONEY PEOPLE:
Dominic has been buying the latest Hollywood flicks from the refugees on Holloway road.
John has been running on a treadmill at the gym wearing a new green vest; whilst listening to Queens Of The Stone Age.

30/11/07......STARDUST MEMORIES:
Dark memories are strangely optimistic.
You grow from them.
You look upon them knowingly.
They give your face dignity.

28/11/07......FRED CHICHIN:
A very sad day. We lost an important musician. Our thoughts are with Fred's family, friends, Catherine and
Les Rita Mitsouko.

20/11/07......SPECIAL BOY:
Today is Gabriel Doom's birthday. I bought him an old fashioned and attractive looking fairground Duck Shoot. He may not win a teddy for shooting the ducks, but at least he gets to act like a boy and blast them away with his magnum like a miniature Dirty Harry.

13/10/07......FAREWELL FROM LUKE:
I regret to inform you that three months ago, i decided to leave Twisted Charm, due to various reasons from which i will spare you the boredom. Sadly, my last gig with Twisted Charm will take place at the Scala in Kings Cross, London, this Monday the 15th of October, where we will be supporting the great Les Rita Mitsouko. If anyone fancies coming to watch me and my saxophone in action for the last time performing the songs of Twisted Charm, then don't hesitate in asking for guestlist, because apparantly we have a lot. So, in closing, i'd like to thank all you Twisted Charm fans for being so great over the years, and i hope you all continue to enjoy such good music in the years to come from the band. Keep it real,Luke.x

03/10/07......ENGLISHMEN IN PARIS:
It's about time i wrote something about our trip to Paris nearly two weeks ago since we had so much fun there. When we arrived at the airport there was a taxi waiting for us. To our astonishment though this was our own personal taxi for 24 hours with our own personal chauffeur! Wow! The last time i had one of these was when i was 15 and i called Roger (my dad) to come and pick us up from Somerset or somewhere at 4am. My friends and i had got on the wrong train after watching the Male Nurse play a Guided Missile night upstairs at the Garage in London. That night changed my life though. It was when i realised i wanted to be a musician more than a footballer. It changed my dad's life aswell. He hasn't drove me anywhere since. Anyway...Paris! Being spoilt normally leaves a bad taste in my mouth but i was lapping this 24 hour taxi up like a dog. It meant i could get drunk tonight without fear of getting mugged walking home or having yet another mobile phone stolen; unless the chauffeur took a dislike to me of course.
Before that though Dominic and i had a busy schedule of interviews ahead of us. Still, the flowing black coffee and wine even made these fun aswell. We decided not to let John and Luke do interviews as they sometimes make involuntary noises. Plus Dominic and i, being brothers, are more comfortable doing interviews when we are alone. Some were filmed for television so we might stick them up on myspace if we are given them. Later on we played two semi-acoustic radio shows for Oui Fm and Le Mouv. One was live but it went well thankfully. I never get nervous performing but i literally felt sick before this. Probably because we have never stripped down our sound before and i've never been sure of my voice. After this we did an interview on another radio station called Radio Nova with Melanie Bauer. Quite often i find interviews are very counter-productive. But Melanie's unique and probing questions prompted a really serious and honest response from us. We were told she was a man eater the next day (no woman could eat dominic and i) but i just found her to be a personable, confident hippy-type chick with a genuine passion and talent for what she does. She even chose to play our least commercial songs (Television Nation, Layabout and Jealousy) on national radio which definitely gets our thumbs up. Plus they are our favourites from our album too.
Afterwards Sophie (our press girl who looks after us as well as our own mothers do) took us to a restaurant. John had couscous with perrier as he is going through a gay phase but the rest of us had fillet steak au poivre with red wine. Delicious! Then we went to a fantastically intimate rockabilly pub with authentic 50's decor. We drank gin and smiled lots. The kind owner even gave us all a free shot of this potent vanilla liqueur, probably because he clocked that john was half rockabilly and needed fully converting.
One of Sophie's friends was djing at this swanky club in central Paris so we left the pub to jump into our taxi. Our chauffeur apologised to dominic and i because we caught him with his eyes closed. This made our hearts turn. I looked him in the eye and told him he was the best chauffuer in the world and that he could shut his eyes whenever he pleased. When we arrived at the club there was a queue of people shamelessly begging the doorman to let them in but i don't think their hats and shoes were expensive enough. Elitist shit like this immediately puts me off places but Sophie's friend was djing so we went in. You should have seen the look on these two guy's faces in there Dior suits when the doorman allowed us scruffy gits in instead of them. Priceless! If only they knew how we'd prefer to be back at the cosy rockabilly shack...a place they would never dream of setting foot in.
Inside it was like a scene from the party in Woody Allen's Annie Hall. An eye-opening experience of ice sculptures, wealth and arrogance. We were looked upon as inferior but this actually made us feel superior and gave us an internal arrogance that was probably stronger than anyone elses in the room. We hung out at the dj booth of course and Sophie's friend played some of the best french and german electro these ears have ever heard. Still we were too good to dance with the champagne supanovas so we headed off and were in bed before 3am.
The next day John bought a black rockabilly shirt for our album launch at Le Klub later that night. If you get it in your country Tracks Television filmed the show and an interview of us. They got some footage of us outside on the street too. There was one very funny bit where this intoxicated sweet old french lady came and had a natter with us, then kissed us goodbye.
Inside Le Klub before the show there were technical problems with the monitors. This delayed our stagetime and we have played better, but the audience were absolutely electric! I lost count of how many times the microphone smacked me in the mouth but it was enjoyable pain. Thanks so much guys we love you very much! I looked for Miss Claudy in the crowd like a headless chicken but i couldn't see her! Sorry. Sorry for the birthday shouts that i forgot to do aswell.
The night ended with us dancing and falling over lots. I think we abused the vodka provided to us by the generous Born Bad Club. We got back to our hotel at 8am and caught our train home at 9am. Well we don't get out much in London! I miss France already. I want to live there one day. Maybe even cycle around with Jarvis. Au revoir! x

02/10/07......ELECT MY ARSE:
Well i wasn't grinning earlier. I was stood in a music shop for three hours trying to purchase a yamaha synth on tick and pay next year. But of course i couldn't because i'm not on the electoral register and they have no legitimate record of where i have been living the past three years. Actually i'm not sure either but i have a legitimate bank card so you'd think that would be enough. Life can be so insipid and tedious sometimes. The lovely man in the shop was very helpful though. He was as bemused as me when he patiently questioned these government gits over the phone. Still i will take this opportunity to introduce a new twister to the band. He is a cool cat called Max Bailey and he will be our live synth player. I just need to teach him the songs now. How does one do this without a synth?

29/09/07......FERNE COTTON I SALUT THEE (BY JOHN GARLEY):
So there I was, lying in bed on a Saturday morning, half dreaming about how shit the club was that we played at the previous night, when I received a text from my cousin saying "what the fuck? Ferne Cotton's just been going on about you lot on radio 1!!". My eyes still full of sleepy dust, and a mouth tasting like a soil vent pipe, I placed my phone back under the pillow (just to the left of my revolver) and carried on re-living last night. Five minutes later I received a call from Gary Green, or "Snake" as he was affectionately known back in our hometown. A guy I hadn't spoken to in about 7 years. He's a carpenter and was working on site listening to the radio whilst rebating a sheet of 12mm plywood, when his ears were pricked by the illustrious Ferne's mouth uttering our name. Not once, but twice. Apparently this fine woman and popular tv / radio personality is a fan.

Could this be?? That whilst playing the toilet circuit up and down the uk we are simultaneously being ushered into the mainstream public consciousness by some higher power? Has someone, or some "thing" finally had enough of us under-achieving in a shite musical climate of intolerably crap libertines-lite scarf bands and about to thrust us into the media spotlight to be the saviours of rock'n'roll??

Probably not. But, alas, a romantic thought none the less.

And then I arose from my pit to prepare a wholesome meal of beans sur le toast before visiting my good friend Vahid at the launderette.

26/09/07......BRINDEZINGUE:
We'll drink till we burst, talk till our tongues tie up and dance till our feet drop off! x

20/09/07......POP LIFE:
It's 4am. I'm enjoying a cup of tea and a double decker chocolate bar (my current favourite.) My band and i are catching the eurostar to Paris in a couple of hours to do promo, some radio shows and an album launch gig at "Le Klub". Normally we have to find our own way to the tunnel on sweaty bendy buses with our guitars and our trolleys (i swear we are the only band geeky enough to have trolleys) but due to the insane hour a taxi has been booked to pick us up from the four corners of London. Glad we're not paying for it! I'm suprised i haven't received John's usual dad-like phonecall to remind me to bring my passport. He never forgets to buy de-icer for his citreon though. Au revoir!

11/09/07......PRIMITIVE:
Last night we filmed a short video on Hampstead Heath. At one point we were sitting on a tree 5 metres above the ground. Dominic turned white. Even the lowest heights give him vertigo. John was in his element though. He crawled up the trunk on all fours and said...
" i am a puma! " John loves nature programmes on telly. John rarely enters his kitchen at home and has never washed a dish before. You could call him an animalistic type of man!

08/09/07......UNORTHODOX DEMURE:
Her text said: "I look like a mad woman. I'm sitting in bed naked, drinking wine, covered in bruises." She looks good in blue though, has a funny accent and the worst stereo i have ever heard. She is also the only female i have met who has her own identity. It's refreshing and unique. Sadly most girls are moulded by their current or past boyfriends. They like the same music, books, films, art, social past-times and dress and behave in a way their boyfriends approve. But then they are girls and she is a woman! 

06/09/07......IN THE MEANTIME:
I saw Mike Leigh on the 29 bus. After building up the courage i told him that "Meantime" was his best film but "Naked" was his best script and contained his best lead character. He didn't say anything but his smile beamed like a light-house. I hope he understood.

05/09/07......DANCE:
Gabriel Doom likes chocolate, chips and German electro! After a combination of all three he bounces up and down on my bed like a hyperactive cave-boy. We dance with serious faces because no one can see us. 

03/09/07......MISS GIBLIN:
I have been meeting some unusually odd and posh characters recently. One of these being the wonderfully named Miss Giblin! She has to give her folks some credit for that despite them telling her she was "a nasty piece of work" when she was 11. Miss Giblin has big breasts, a big heart, big hair and an even bigger voice! (sorry i cannot make your birthday this friday Miss Giblin i will buy you a white russian next time i see you.) Marcus Farnsworth is one of her best friends. He is a conductor at the Queen's Guard's Chapel where she sings. Miss Giblin's ex-fiancee is called Tom Venner (whose father is the bishop of Canterbury). Tom was a chartered surveyor and he never use to allow Miss Giblin to wear her cat-like make up as it was too flamboyant! Tom dressed her in suits when she was 16 and convinced her she was 25. No one was allowed to know her real age so she pretended to be numerous characters at the cocktail parties he took her too including a vet by day escort by night fantasy...to amuse herself and upset others i guess. Tom lives in Paris now. He is a nob! I met him at a Daft Punk after party recently and he was boasting about how he heightened Miss Giblin's feminist outlook on life. He was so absorbed in himself but at least it gave me the chance to pinch his bottle of champagne and sneak off and dance to Mr.Oizo's "Transexual". I bet Judith Butler wouldn't have found Tom's speech excitable.

 01/09/07......INDEPENDENCE:
Independence is indispensable. When you lose it you lose everything. You feel lower than a tramp because many tramps smile more than people who think they have everything: a tramp's dependence on faceless faces actually makes them independent. But if you lose your independence and then regain it you feel like an emperor sitting upon a golden throne...hey i brought the gin and film over last week Gloria it's your turn this week. Don't say i never help you out.  

29/08/07......MISS ROSE:
Miss.Rose isn't vain right! She is just vulnerable. She also likes the tackiest programme on tv....Hollyoaks! She says she can relate to it: anorexics, closet gays, stalkers, murders, miscarriages, fights, deaths, underage sex with teachers. She is also a smart girl so is obviously taking the piss out of herself or me or both. She is also the new face of NIKE! So look out for Miss.Rose's afro on a billboard in a town near you!

27/08/07......HAMPSTEAD HEATH:
I've recently been working as a park ranger on Hampstead Heath because i've been skint! Whilst mowing the grass one sunny afternoon something occured to me. Why do straight boys play frisbee together?

25/08/07......OPERA SINGERS:
An opera singer said i could really sing the other day. I was really chuffed because i have always doubted my voice. I bet opera singers make great lovers! It was a £10 bet.

24/08/07......LCD SOUNDSYSTEM WON'T PLAY IN MY HOUSE:
We had a support slot with LCD Soundsystem granted to us by a promoter called 'Fred' at Times Square, Newcastle. From Finsbury Park in London it's a seven hour drive to Newcastle - so we all booked two days off work because John couldn't drive all the way back on the same night aswell. He's not capable of driving for fourteen hours or putting up with our continual whinging for tea stops, then wee stops. Three and a half hours into the journey Fred calls to say, ''LCD don't want to have two extra amps on the stage as they don't think it is big enough so you cannot play.''  We only brought our amps in the first place because LCD wouldn't share theirs and it would have only taken one minute to remove our amps from the stage after we played. Plus I've seen De la Soul play at Times Square before and they fitted on the stage ok and they are Big Muthas! So thanks guys! We were looking forward to playing with you and hearing your new material. The day I tediously prevent a band from opening up for us will be the day I stop playing music. Still the journey home was jovial enough, at least until **** got caught stealing a carrot cake in a service station...

TOTAL:SPEC MAGAZINE...Twisted Charm: This Way To The Dancefloor

Growing up and enduring his teens in sleepy Northamptonshire, Twisted Charm songwriter/singer/guitarist/pin-up Nathan Doom yearned for something new, exciting and dangerous. Once the idea of a band became a reality (brother Dominic played drums and John Garley bass) the three trooped down to London for what Doom describes as a "mixture of parties, music and University." Before long they met sax player Luke and Twisted Charm were all set.
Bringing together gritty post-punk, nagging pop hooks and unconventional sex appeal, Twisted Charm left a mark on their new city surroundings within months. Slowly building up a sharply-dressed, music-obsessed young following with the help of indie Alt Delete (the label which arguably kick started the new wave of indie/dance with their Digital Penetration compilation last year) Twisted Charm now unleash their debut album, released on buzz imprint Because Music.
Doom talks quietly and somewhat nervously about himself and his band, but he's clearly a young man who has the essence of punk rock etched into his skin. Whether it's the awkward Wire-esque guitar melodies, Sonic Youth energy, or the biting vocals of The Fall, Twisted Charm absorb their influences to create a unique, addictive sound.
The frontman admits to enjoying the anonymity that London provides, a far cry from his upbringing, where "everyone knew everyone else's business" and drugs were rife in his family's neighbourhood.
"The album wasn't intentionally meant to be a critique of London life from the eyes of an outsider. London was how we expected it to be. I love the architecture and the dirt. It can be ugly and beautiful simultaneously."
"Songs like London Scene aren't necessarily about London, they can relate to any british city minus the landmark references. My lyrics are mainly observational, while some of the songs on the album highlight personal relationships too. There's a mixture of themes."
On new single Cinema, Doom pleads "Take me to the cinema, so I can see again", before name-checking Russian director Kieslowski in one of the verses. A self-confessed film addict, Doom takes his influences from the different narratives of continental directors.
"European films, especially French, Italian and Russian ones are generally really stylish and romantic, but Iranian cinema is much more low budget and gritty. Russian cinema in particular is very abstract – watching a Kieslowski or Tarkovski film is like staring at a painting, whereas Iranian cinema is more authentic and tends to use character development for its main foundation."
Recorded in Wales, Real Fictional took a measly two weeks to get down on tape. Doom had written and recorded each song on an eight-track over a year-long period in his London bed-sit.
"The studio was in the middle of nowhere which gave us the solitude we needed. We went in knowing exactly what we wanted from the recordings. I love being in the studio. Live gigs are great, but I enjoy making music more than anything.
"I think playing a clothes shop in New Cross was our most bizarre show. It could only fit 40 or 50 people in there and we probably sounded terrible, but it was fun despite getting a tooth chipped. We had people violently jumping at us on stage whilst eating the free home made curry on offer. I guess they don't get out too much south of the river."
The band know how to please large crowds too, having toured Italy and opened for Klaxons in France earlier this year. Playing to sell out venues, Twisted Charm proved quite a hit with European audiences, and the plan is to return before the end of the year.
"Compared with London and a lot of big cities in the UK, not many bands play in France, so the crowds are much more receptive. In London everyone's sick of watching bands every night."
Talk turns to musical influences, and Doom picks out veteran avant-garders Blonde Redhead as particularly important for him personally.
"I like them because their music is so unique and elegant. It's magical, moody and full of dark melodies. While they're not a big influence on the sound of Twisted Charm, I really admire their aesthetic."
While they're unlikely to do a Klaxons just yet, Twisted Charm are doing all the right things (punk legend John Robb wrote their sprawling biography); appealing to both scene kids and moody post-punkers put off by The Rapture's new disco route.


THE SUNDAY TIMES:

Breaking Act: Twisted Charm.

Who are they? A north London four-piece, Twisted Charm follow two great indie singles with their last for Alt>Delete (Boring Lifestyles) before trading up to Because (home to Jarvis, Charlotte Gainsbourg and the like). You'd need to be cloth-eared not to hear the influences — distantly, James Chance, Gang of Four, Devo, the Specials, early Blur; more recently, the Rapture and Clor — but Twisted Charm work such magic with the contents of their cauldron that this quickly ceases to matter. A nice line in sharp social-observation lyrics jollies this process along, but it's the squalling, Contort Yourself-style sax and mad, spasmodic guitar that hurtle both the song and the listener towards only one conclusion: Twisted Charm are great, and you should cop a load of them pronto.


THE LONDON PAPER:

All around me teenagers clutch glow sticks, balancing on tippy toes, craning their necks for a glimpse of the empty stage. Cigarette smoke puffs into air that's muggy with anticipation. Twisted Charm's drummer Dominic Cole creeps onstage and the crowd squeals. The punchy drumbeat of Happy Alone announces the arrival of singer Nathan Doom, bassist John Garley and saxophonist Luke Georgiou and 800 people packed into L'Olympic in Nantes France, erupt like Robbie Williams just flashed his arse.

When they tour, this Finsbury Park-based foursome pile into a beat up Citroen Estate, crash on friends of friends floors, or snuggle up on the couches of fans they've met on MySpace, but here, on the road with Klaxons, their given a doe-eyed reception befitting pop royalty.

Their tumultuous set of terse, jazz-inflected, post-punk culminates in a gleeful stage invasion, with one adorable French poppet plucking up the courage to kiss Nathan on the cheek.

Backstage, gulping down beer, the group of twenty-somethings are as excitable as puppies.

"That was amazing!" exclaims mop-topped hip-swiveller Luke, who looks every inch a pop star in his silver pointed shoes and turquoise glitter littered cords.

"It's always nice to be kissed," agrees Nathan with a shy smile. "It doesn't happen much in London."

Signed to uber-hip French label Because Music (home to Klaxons, Justice, Charlotte Gainsbourg), Twisted Charm started life in Rushden, Northamptonshire where brothers Nathan and Dominic grew up.

"It's very bleak and grim," admits Nathan, the dismay of Rushden tourist board. "There's loads of heroin - every other person must be on smack."

With just the one Rushden pub playing host to hair metal bands, a move to London was a no brainer and it's this city that seems to inspire the lion's share of their debut Real Fictional.

Take London Scene? a snarky swipe at the capital's cliques set to sparse reverbed guitars, delirious sax squiggles and Nathan's maniacal laughter, bemoaning that "Nobody has the time to bother to read John Keats". Like a demonic Damon Albarn fronting PiL.

Elsewhere, Never Grow Older is a jerky, bass heavy hit from someone with a Peter Pan complex ("I never feel like an adult. Even though i have responsibilities i don't properly embrace them") while latest single Cinema is an ode to celluloid escapism.

It's a dance-tastic record for sure but an eerie vibe pervades and it's no wonder. Nathan used to live in mental institution because his ex-girlfriend was an occupational nurse, a scene he describes as "really surreal, long corridors, lots of shouting, like a horror movie – The Shining". To compound this their debut was recorded in a haunted studio with a dark spectre.

"I'm really cynical, but it wasn't just me," laughs Nathan. "We all ran out of the room absolutely petrified.

With their debut out next week, Twisted Charm's time is now and it seems autographs hunters are already on the move with one cornering Nathan in the supermarket.

"I just thought it was really funny, I had no money, they wanted my autograph and I just wanted some beans on toast. It's hardly glamorous."

So did you sign her breast?

"No, no! Not in Tesco's!"

WWW.NOIZEMAKESENEMIES.CO.UK:

1. How was it letting an experienced producer take the reigns with your music, and what do you think he bought to the album and the Twisted Charm sound as a whole?

I'M ALWAYS THE BOSS IN THE STUDIO. BUT I LET LANCE TAKE THE REIGNS AT THE GOAT PUB IN WALES. I OFTEN LEFT HIM AT THE BAR TO BUY MOST OF THE ROUNDS AND THE LAMB SHANKS. SERIOUSLY THOUGH, HE ADDED AN AMBIENCE AND A CLEAN SHINE TO OUR SOUND. IT'S MORE POLISHED, MORE SPACIOUS AND MORE LAYERED. PLUS LANCE BULLIED LUKE A LOT FOR LOOKING GAY. HE THREW LUKE'S NEW TRAINERS OUT THE WINDOW ONE NIGHT INTO THE STINGING NETTLES AFTER A WHISKEY SESSION. THE STUDIO WAS HAUNTED SO LUKE WAS TOO SACRED TO GO OUTSIDE AND GET THEM...OR GET HIS HANDS STUNG SO HE JUST SULKED INSTEAD. LANCE ASKED TO WORK WITH US AFTER HE SAW US PLAYING LIVE. I ASKED HIM WHO HIS FAVOURITE BAND WAS. HE SAID THE STRANGLERS. THAT WAS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.

2. Your songs seem very geared towards modern social commentaries on attitudes and lifestyles. Do you always intend to write about the people you meet and see around you, or is that just what comes naturally and most inspires you to write?

YES IT CAME NATURALLY AT THIS POINT IN TIME. I WILL ALWAYS WRITE ABOUT PEOPLE I MEET IN ONE FORM OR ANOTHER. "LAYABOUT" IS ABOUT A FRIEND OF OURS CALLED PAUL BROWN. HE FOUND IT REALLY INSULTING BUT IT IS AN HONEST REFLECTION OF HIM. I ERASED THE BIT ABOUT HIM HAVING TEETH MISSING THOUGH. JEALOUSY IS ONE OF THE FEW PERSONAL SONGS ON THE ALBUM ABOUT MY EX-GIRLFRIEND. I THINK I WILL WRITE MORE PERSONAL SONGS ON OUR NEXT ALBUM AND LESS SOCIAL CRITIQUES. I WANT TO MAKE INNOVATIVE ART-POP. I DON'T WANT TO RE-ADDRESS WHAT WE HAVE DONE BEFORE.

3. Given that you've toured with and are label mates with the Klaxons, and your sound has that electronic element, it seems likely that you'll be filed in the new rave box by a lot of people. Would you say it was fair to make you part of that scene or is your sound too diverse to be pigeonholed in that way?

PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS PIGEONHOLE BUT I LIKE WHAT JOHN ROBB WROTE ABOUT US. WE EVEN MADE IT OUR BIOGRAPHY ON MYSPACE. HE ADDRESSES OUR SOUND AND NEW RAVE AND HOW WE WILL NEVER BE A PART OF THAT. HE EXPLAINS IT BETTER THAN I COULD. OVERALL SCENES ARE TENUOUS. IT'S FAR BETTER TO TAKE RISKS AND TRY TO CREATE SOMETHING NEW AND UNIQUE. THE BANDS THAT SUCCEED IN DOING THIS ARE ALWAYS REMEMBERED.

4. As far as influences go, there definitely seems to be a few that stick out - 'Park Life' era Blur, Joy Division, Sex Pistols, The Fall for example. Who would you all cite as big influences though, on the band and as individuals and why?

I LIKE ALL THESE BANDS YOU HAVE MENTIONED MINUS THE SEX PISTOLS. I DON'T BELIEVE IN THEM. MUSICALLY WE ARE INFLUENCED BY BLONDE REDHEAD BECAUSE THEY MAKE SUCH EMOTIONALLY SEDUCTIVE MUSIC; SONIC YOUTH BECAUSE THEY MAKE SUCH OBSTINATE AND ARTISTIC RECORDS; THE STRANGLERS BECAUSE THEIR MUSIC IS SIMULTANEOUSLY TOUGH AND MELODIC. BUT I'M REALLY INFLUENCED BY WRITERS ASWELL SUCH AS ZOLA AND DOSTOYEVSKY AND THE WAY THEY SHOW THE DARKER SIDE OF HUMANITY THROUGH THEIR CHARACTERS. THE AUTHENTICITY OF IRANIAN CINEMA IS A BIG INFLUENCE TOO, AND WE ALL LOVE THE MADNESS WITHIN BERGMAN AND HERZOG'S FILMS. THE CINEMATOGRAPHY IN KIESLOWSKI'S AND TARKOVSKI'S FILMS IS ALSO INSPIRING. THESE ARE ALL PIONEERS.

5 London Scene? seems to have become a bit of an 'LDN' type urban anthem. Is it good to have a big, recognisable single you can pull out the bag like that or are you worried people might base their opinions of you purely based on that song?

IT'S AN HONOUR THAT YOU OR ANYONE ELSE SEES OUR SONGS AS SUCH. LET'S JUST SAY I'M NOT AS DISILLUSIONED AS THOM YORKE SINGING 'CREEP' WHEN I'M SINGING 'LONDON SCENE?'. HOWEVER, I DO PREFER OUR SINGLES 'CINEMA' AND SOON TO BE RELEASED 'SOCIALITE'. THESE ARE BETTER INDICATORS OF THE DIRECTION WE ARE HEADING IN.

6. So what plans are in place to tour the album? Where can we get to see you play?

WE HAVE JUST PLAYED THE D-PERCUSSION FESTIVAL IN MANCHESTER AND THE 1234 SHOREDITCH FESTIVAL IN LONDON. WE HAVE A STRING OF OTHER DATES AND SOME IN FRANCE. BEST TO KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED ON OUR MYSPACE PAGE.

7. A bit of a random one, but i'm sure a lot of people are wondering, where did the 'Doom' nickname come from?

WELL MY EX-GIRLFRIEND'S NICKNAME WAS 'FROLIC' SO IT MADE SENSE FOR MINE TO BE 'DOOM'. I HAVE ALWAYS LIKED OPPOSING WORDS WITH ANTITHETICAL MEANING, HENCE, WHY OUR BAND NAME IS TWISTED CHARM AND OUR ALBUM IS CALLED 'REAL FICTIONAL'. PLUS MY LYRICS DO HAVE A SLIGHT CYNICAL EDGE SO 'DOOM' MAKES AN APPROPRIATE STAGE NAME. I'M ACTUALLY A VERY HAPPY BUNNY THOUGH.

8. So what's the long term mission for Twisted Charm? Where are you hoping that, beyond this album, the road will take you?

I'M HOPING TO WRITE SEVERAL UNIQUE AND INSPIRING ALBUMS AND FOR TWISTED CHARM TO BE REMEMBERED AS AN IMPORTANT BAND. OR JUST TO BE REMEMBERED. AFTER THAT WHO KNOWS? MAYBE I'LL DO A DUET WITH DOLLY PARTON UNDER THE GUISE NATHAN REDNECK!


WHO'S JACK MAGAZINE: AUGUST 2007

Who's Jack magazine ask Nathan Doom of Twisted Charm......What are your four favourite things about London?

1. ANONYMITY:
one of the main reasons why i moved down to london. there is an ugliness and sense of abandonment about london that breeds solitude and loneliness. maybe i'm warped but i find this captivating and beautiful. there are so many faces that you become insignificant. there are so many interesting pubs full of banal characters. you can escape the gossip and small minded mentality prevalent in small towns.
 
 
2. ST.PAUL'S CATHEDRAL:
there are several fascinating overviews of london. muswell hill, hampstead heath's kite hill and the london eye all spring to mind but none surpass that of st paul's cathedral. when there is a slight mist it is even more enchanting. the small stairway that leads to the very top enhances trepidation and vertigo. furthermore, it spirals clockwise which is ludicrous and you have to use your left hand to balance yourself. it's also a great place for first dates as you win on two counts. you are considered to have a romantic side and you get clung onto for dear life! a great ice breaker.
 
 
3. HAMPSTEAD HEATH:
it's nuts how you can have such a vast country heath bang in the middle of a smoky city! it is absolutely stunning but has an eerie quality that i like aswell. you sense a history of danger and the potential for something bad to happen when you walk across it. this enhances the surreal atmosphere of the place. like all of london it is very cosmopolitan too. you get middle-class dog walkers protecting their poodles from the threat of the working-class walker's pitballs. a very funny sight! one thing i do dislike though is all the keep fit fanatics stretching all over the damn place. you can escape these though by getting a decent fry up and a cup of tea in the cafe. in the winter if it has snowed heavily the heath is awesome and inspirational!
 
 
4. CULTURE/ARTS/ENTERTAINMENT:
the only down side about the cultural scene in london is that there is too much to do and you can miss out on something special. the time out guide and the guardian guide are indispensible cultural bibles. you can find out what obscure iranian cinema is showing that week, what band is in town, what art exhibitions are showing, (still waiting for egon schiele though) what plays are showing at the theatre and where the best debauch clubs nights are being held. the abundance of activity in london is simply overwhelming!


DISORDER MAGAZINE: GRADUATE FASHION WEEK
23 JULY 2007......Nathan Doom, frontman, guitar and synth player for Twisted Charm, reveals his steepest student learning curves and discusses his choice of degree and how it helped him get where he is today. It didn't!

1. Where did you study?
 
NENE COLLEGE UNIVERSITY

2. What degree did you get and has it helped you along in life?
 
AN UPPER CLASS 2.1 BA HONOURS DEGREE IN ENGLISH LITERATURE. IN TERMS OF FINDING A DECENT JOB IT HASN'T HELPED ME AT ALL. FINDING ONE OF THOSE IS ALL ABOUT WHAT BLOOMIN EXPERIENCE YOU HAVE. LUCKILY I ONLY WANT TO BE A ROCK STAR LIKE ELVIS THOUGH. BUT YOU NEED GOOD LUCK AND GOOD TUNES TO BE ONE OF THOSE. UNFORTUNATELY I ONLY HAVE ONE OF THOSE TWO THINGS. BUT BEING A RECLUSIVE AVANT-GARDIST MUSICIAN HAS IT'S MERITS. AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT I TOLD MYSELF AS A WEE BOY WHEN MY FOLKS USE TO GROUND ME FOR STAYING OUT TOO LATE. I GUESS CLASSROOM PRESENTATIONS HAVE GIVEN ME MORE CONFIDENCE ON STAGE. LIKE MUSIC THEY REVOLVE AROUND PERFORMING TO A MOODY,SMILING,INDIFFERENT AND ENRAPTURED AUDIENCE.

3. Best thing about your higher learning experience?
 
I LOVED THE ANTI-QUATED LIBRARY IN THE BASEMENT. IT WAS SO AUTHENTIC AND FULL OF CHARACTER. ALL THE BOOKS WERE HARD BACKS AND COVERED IN DUST THROUGH YEARS OF NEGLECT. I FOUND KNUT HAMSUN'S "MYSTERIES" IN THIS LIBRARY AND IT IS STILL MY FAVOURITE BOOK TO THIS DAY. I HAD TO CLIMB A LADDER TO THE TOP SHELVES TO FIND IT. I LOVE THE SEDUCTIVE SILENCE INSIDE LIBRARIES TOO. MAYBE THIS IS WHY I AWAYS FEEL VOYEURISTIC WHEN I'M IN ONE.
IT'S FUN TO PEEP THROUGH THE BOOKSHELVES AT SOMEBODY WHEN THEY ARE UNAWARE THEY ARE BEING WATCHED. LIBRARIES ARE SEXY!

4. Equally, what was the worst!

WAKING UP IN THE MIDDLE OF A PARK ONE FROSTY MORNING WITH A HANGOVER THAT EVEN CHARLES BUKOWSKI WOULD BE PROUD OF.

5. Your top tip for exam time hell is...
 
I ACTUALLY ENJOYED EXAMS. I FIND THEM REALLY TRANQUIL. I ALWAYS SPENT LONG PERIODS LOOKING UP AT ALL THE STUDENTS SCRIBBLING AWAY IN A PANIC.
 
6.Tell us your most embarrassing student moment, possibly involving nudity and lamp-posts...

I WALKED INTO A LAMPOST ONCE WHILST STARING AT A GIRL WHO WAS PRACTICALLY NUDE. I SCREAMED LIKE A GIRL ASWELL! THAT WAS EMBARRASSING. BUT I CANNOT REMEMBER HAVING AN UNCOMFORTABLE NUDE EXPERIENCE OF MY OWN. MY STUDENT FLATMATES WAYNE AND DAVE USED TO CHASE ME AROUND THE HOUSE WITH THEIR BIG DANGLING WILLIES. THAT WAS SIMULTANEOUSLY FUNNY AND FRIGHTENING. I ALSO HAVE A FUNNY CHILDHOOD MEMORY OF MY ELDER BROTHER GILES COMING OUT OF THE BATHROOM. I GUESS HE MUST HAVE BEEN ABOUT 14 AT THE TIME. HIS TOWEL DROPPED FROM AROUND HIS WAIST IN FRONT OF OUR SISTER NOVA. HE CRIED HIS EYES OUT. THAT WAS HILARIOUS! GILES USED TO PRACTICE DOING THE SPLITS LIKE PRINCE FOR HOURS ON END IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR ASWELL. FUNNY BOY!


7.If you hadn't of gone to college, what would you have done instead?
 
WROTE MORE SONGS. READ MORE BOOKS. WATCHED MORE FILMS.

8. What's your stance on the up front fees debate?
 
IT'S HORRIFIC! I DON'T THINK ANYONE WITH HALF A BRAIN WOULD DISAGREE THAT PAYING FOR EDUCATION IS OUTRAGEOUS AND ELITIST.

9. You get to be Education Minister for a day, what do you change about higher education?
 
MAKE EDUCATION FREE AGAIN BUT FINE STUDENTS IF THEY STAYED IN BED INSTEAD OF GOING TO LECTURES. I'D BE A MILLIONAIRE IN JUST ONE DAY DESPITE MY INTENTIONS BEING GOOD.

10. Looking back on your time there, how worthy was it all?
 
IT WAS INCREDIBLY WORTHY IN TERMS OF SOCIAL INTERACTION AND MEETING LOTS OF EASY GIRLS TRYING TO FIND THEMSELVES.

11. My Humanities lecturer smelt like biscuits all the time, weird, did any of your teachers smell a bit odd?
 
YES MR.MCORMICK ALWAYS SMELT OF PINEAPPLE PIZZA. I THINK THAT'S BECAUSE HE CAME IN AFTER HEAVY DRINKING SESSIONS. TRY SMELLING SOMEONE THE MORNING AFTER THEY HAVE BEEN DRINKING SPIRITS. YOU WILL FIND THIS IS WHAT THEY SMELL OF.


ARTROCKER MAGAZINE: NATHAN DOOM'S RATED AND SLATED......

RATED:

1. chocolate and tea:

call me rock n roll but chocolate and tea are thee drugs! i'm grumpy first thing in the morning like most artcockers i guess, but once i've dipped me mint aero into me mug of brewed tea i'm singing with the birds. so what if nestle are baby killers miss.frolic.

2.lora logic:

not only did she improve the likes of the stranglers, the raincoats, swell maps, and scritti politi with her added sax toots, but after leaving x-ray spex she formed ESSENTIAL LOGIC (the most under-rated band of the post-punk era). the musical innovation of this band's early work is captivating. tracks like "collecting dust" and "brute fury" get me shaking like a retard on the dancefloor everytime.

3.john lesley:

we all know when a woman says "no" she means "yes".

4."mysteries" by knut hamsun.

life is full of mysteries but this masterpiece should not be one of them. johan nilsen nagel's uncanny insight into the human soul is haunting. who cares if knut hamsun turned into a nazi in his later years if he can write something as compelling as this.(ha ha)

5.the english cafe:

i love having a fry up in the archway cafe. i like being surrounded by all the regular oldies. their bickering sounds trivial but it's only because they've seen and done it all. each one of their wrinkles speaks volumes. and the bacon is good.

SLATED:

1.harry potter:

smug suited adult philistines read this on the tube like it's the bible or something. what a herd of sheep! it really gets to me. big perfumed office brutes and lifeless middle-class women engulfed by fucking wizards so they can escape their mundane lives. i work in a library so hearing people ask, "have you got the new harry potter book" all day long is enough to make you want to twat them regardless.

2.parties:

i always end up at them. i look around the room and realise that my friends must have gone home after the tacky indie club we were at. so i'm sat here with a bottle of smirnoff in my hand in a room full or people i don't like playing music i cannot stand. why? i ask myself. then it happens all over again the following week.

3.gustav klimt:

he's not a genius. far from it. the only genius thing he did was discover egon schiele.

5.liars:

i hate liars. what's the point in lieing? if you don't want to do something then say you don't. if you want to do something then don't pretend not to. most of the time if you've got something to hide it's only because you've told a lie in the first place."all you need is love". bollocks! all you need is honesty. unless you want to pull a sicky from work.


DAZED AND CONFUSED:

They might like to record surrounded by sheep, but this British four-piece aren't about to lazily follow anyone...

Twisted Charm are a four-piece that produce energetic post-punk anthems that document how boring everything is, along with their desperate attempts to escape England's grey reality. Four years into the business, they look like a group of geeky dischevelled uncles, but in a good way.
Originally from Northamptonshire, 2004 was the year the boys decided to break free from the constraints of their parents' basements, and move to London where they could rock out to their hearts content without any fear of waking up gran. 'We needed to get out of that shithole, and London seemed the best place to be as a band," says bassist John. Signed to French indie label Because Music, Twisted Charm recently finished recording their debut album. "We recorded it at foel studios in Wales," explains guitarist and frontman Nathan. "It was properly out in the sticks. We were in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by sheep. It was a brilliant experience though. The studio is where we feel most at home".
Produced by Lance Thomas (Ladytron/PJ Harvey), the album, so far untitled, is a step forward from the raw, post-punk sound of their live show. "There's lots of big 80's gated drum sounds, and synths aswell, which is a bit different for us", laughs Nathan. "We are all really proud of it though. It's a timeless record. It would sound modern even if it came out in five years time." The songs are based around lyrics slating routine and criticising the British lifestyle. "The lyrics are more satirical than pompous", explains Nathan. "If we take the piss out of something, it usually includes ourselves."
"We're a lot more passionate about our music than most bands", says Nathan confidently. "I think a lot of bands today are short-lived, or get into music for the wrong reasons. We just love writing and playing, and i think that shows."


WWW.GLASSWERK.CO.UK:


Finsbury Park's finest Twisted Charm release their eagerly anticipated debut album 'Real Fictional' through up and coming label Because Music on August 6th. Their mix of electronic synth, sax, unrelenting bass, and witty, punchy lyrics of undercover, inner city London have sent this foursome's star soaring.

They've left their small town roots - Northampton - behind and have come 'to kick regurgitated rock-n-roll in the throat.' The debut, produced by Lance Thomas (PJ Harvey/Ladytron), is as current as it gets and they have absorbed grime and new rave to produce something unique. It's no surprise they have just toured with the Klaxons.

Nathan Doom is everything a front man should be. He's got the style, the skinny jeans and the stories to start a party even while reciting tales of disillusionment and detachment. The band have generated a loyal following but their addictive post punk electro should send these lads towards bigger things.

Here's a few words from the Twisted Charm chaps. Get to know them and let them take over your brain.

1. WHO would you most like to take down with your sniper rifle?

the turkish guy who stole my mobile phone in finsbury park last sunday! i lose countless phones when I'm drunk but that's my fault. i cannot accept having my phone pinched after having it for only four weeks. so many song ideas stored on the dictaphone, so many numbers i cannot retrieve, so many mafia fantasies about shooting the guy.

2. WHERE is the place to be?

in the studio making music! in the pub during happy hour! in bed with a
beautiful girl!

3. WHAT Twisted Charm rock n roll stories can you share?

what happens on tour stays on tour. but one new years eve i mistook my first girlfriend's christmas tree for a toilet. i woke up on the couch, got up, knocked it over and then proceeded to wee all over it. this woke her mum up who then decided to take me to the bathroom for a strip wash. i wouldn't have stayed for sunday roast the following day if i had remembered any of it!

4. WHEN NME ask you to do a cover shot, you'll say?

yes of course! anyone who is passionate about their music would say the same. the magazine might talk a load of rubbish, but as a songwriter you want your music to be heard by as many people as possible.

5. WHY make music when you could be doing?

i'm afraid life without making music is meaningless. although playing for arsenal could give it some meaning.


WWW.ROOMTHIRTEEN.COM:

R13: What role do you play in the band?

Nathan: Well my bass player calls me "doom the illustrious leader" but he is taking the piss I think, but I write the music and the lyrics for twisted charm.

R13: How long have you been together?

N: I've been with the drummer Dominic since his birth. He's my baby bro you see, but three years proper since we released our first 7 ".

R13: You grew up in Northampton but now live in London, do you feel that being in the city helps launch your music?

N: We actually grew up in a town called Rushden in Northamptonshire, but yes to the question. You either played death metal in the attic at the Oakley Arms there or you listened to drum and bass on the high street benches smoking crack, incidentally we rescued John from these very benches.

R13: What are the essential things that make Twisted Charm different to the floods of other groups on the London scene at the moment?

N: Our personal idiosyncrasies, honesty and defiance of convention

R13: So the "twisted" part of the band, what crazy or debauched moments have you had together?

N: The others like to watch me cook for them naked. Dominic likes to sit on club promoters. John and Luke like to discuss their latest gadgets in the car whilst complaining about each others' farts.

R13: Onto your album, how long had you been gathering songs for and how long did it take to record?

N: I had written a few songs a while ago but others like 'Socialite', 'Cinema' and 'Layabout' I wrote about a month before we recorded them. It took about two weeks to record. It could have been less if we spent less time talking to the sheep and drinking with the inbreds at The Goat pub.

R13: To fans of which other bands would you recommend your sound?

N: The Stranglers, Blonde Redhead, Sonic Youth, The Fall, Essential Logic, James Chance, Ratatat, Can, Talking Heads, The Specials, ESG.

R13: How was the tour with The Klaxons? Did you get a good reception on the continent?

N: It was fabulous! It was so wonderful to get taken to restaurants for delicious food and lots of wine! We usually get bread and cheese for our riders. It was great to play to sold out audiences aswell and go down well. We had our first stage invasion on that tour.

R13: Where do you think that your fanbase is currently strongest?

N: Probably in France as we get a lot of press out there. We were in Vogue last week apparently, but the closest you would get John and Dominic to a cat walk would be to hand them a cat and a lead.


R13: What's been the best moment of your musical career so far?

N: For me it was in the studio in Wales; to see your songs finally come to life is an ineffable experience! On the last day of recording when I was playing the piano a phantom appeared. We all ran out in a frenzy like frightened children! But it was the best moment because it showed that music can even make the dead dance.

R13: If we could only download 3 tracks from your album, which would you want it to be?

N: Socialite, Layabout and Jealousy.

R13: You're fans of cinema, which film would you like your music to have appeared on the soundtrack for?

N: "Aguirre- the Wrath of God", although it would totally ruin the film. Our music would actually suit an Iranian film called "The Apple" best as it is an odd and eccentric little film.



THE TIMES ONLINE:

Equal parts charming and twisted Times Online Student features budding young musicians ready to catapult onto your playlist. We hunt down those about to make sound waves in the music world to bring you the next Next Big Thing in music.

On the one hand, Twisted Charm's lead singer Nathan 'Doom' is a nasty piece of work. Lyrics such as "When you seduce boys in bed/Daddy wishes you were dead," and a professed desire to "kick rock and roll in the throat" don't exactly inspire an urge to meet the guy in person any time soon. But in conversation, far from the floodlit stage of a concert hall, Nathan is the picture of sweetness, laughing easily, casually throwing in commentary about the finer points of French and Russian literature (he's working his way through Victor Hugo's The Last Day of a Condemned Man right now – "It's not as hard as it sounds," he demurs), and dealing with a recent heartbreak.

"I'm quite a shy person actually," he insists. His self-consciousness is part of the reason that Nathan recently moved out of his eight person flat share to a single bed-sit – he couldn't work on his music. "I wouldn't dare sing, because I kept thinking people would hear. It's quite embarrassing." Yet strangely, on stage there's not an ounce of unease reverberating through his strident vocals in which he condemns the various banalities of London life. The songs paint a picture of a prickly and particularly cheesed-off frontman. It's all a bit Jekyll and Hyde. "I'm not that tough," he insists, "But I'm not shy when I am performing." Evidently.

The band draw heavily on electro, employing the well-worn effects of voice distortion to create a lingering echo-filled buzz around each phrase, as in the single "Cinema." On its own, it's a sound that's been done before, but Twisted Charm don't stop there; the music is fleshed out and enlivened by insistent drums and sax blasts that add layers of dimension. John Garley plays bass and the sax is brought by Luke Georgiou who transforms the jazz-born instrument into an implement of coaxing videogame bleeps. The glittery landscapes created by the band bring to mind The Rapture, with Nathan's petulant vocals winding with a punk-like insistence through the noise.

The vitriol he spews is surprisingly on point; you'd be hard pressed not to find yourself nodding in commiseration with the griping of a caged boyfriend in "Happy Alone" and the jaded escapist in "Cinema." But Nathan insists: "I'm not a pissed off person at all. I don't know where the cynicism comes from."

The band's past is a colourful one, with Nathan himself only recently having moved out of an institution for the mentally ill - his ex-girlfriend was an occupational therapist in residence and the pair lived together at the ward. He is brutally un-PC about his experience: "At night, it was like a scene out of The Shining. You forget that the people there are all off their heads. You mingle with them during the day, but have to remember to lock up your room."

More traumatic though, he says, was a childhood languishing in a small town in Northamptonshire. "Everyone was on smack, it was pretty hardcore. There was nothing to do; if you don't write music what else is there?" Nathan and his brother Dominic Cole who plays drums in the band escaped as quickly as they could to universities in a bid to get away from their small-town existence. While Nathan graduated with a degree in English Literature from Nene College, Dominic studied photography - an endeavour that "lasted about a month." Nathan recalls: "It was just a blag to get our parents to drive our stuff down to London so we could play music." Sarah Maslin Nir


THE GUARDIAN ONLINE:

Band of the day...Twisted Charm:

Hometown: Northamptonshire-born, they now live in London.
The line-up: Nathan Doom (vocals, guitar, synth), John Garley (bass), Luke Georgiou (saxophone), Dominic Cole (drums).

The background: Twisted Charm are exponents of heavy-heavy monster CCTV techno. The beats are mental, the keyboards choppy, the guitars steely, the sax squally, the bass lines as Wobble-y as they are warped, and the vocals snidey and shouty - imagine the spawn of two JRs, Jamie Reynolds and Johnny Rotten. Their music, at its best, offers a powerful account of life in the capital, where teenage mums, football hooligans and pissed-up city boys with 22-grand jobs are berated over rhythmical noise and dissonant parps of brass....The Cole bros and their mate Garley were reared on new wave, jazz, hip-hop and Chris Morris's Jam, then the sax of the sulky Georgiou shaped the Twisted sound. But they're not just here for the musical things in life. When he's not performing, Dominic works in an insane asylum, where he can't distinguish between the inmates and the warders. John has gypsy ancestry and a family history of mental illness. Nathan, whose antennae helps him pick up on the peculiar and tawdry, might look effeminate but don't mess....he has a black-belt in karate.
Now signed to Because Music, home of Jarvis Cocker and Charlotte Gainsbourg, Twisted Charm are in the capital where Nathan can spy on lowlifes and the band can afford to move out of their hellhole of a flat. With their Citroen estate car and songs about whores, boredom and human behaviour, TC intend to "kick rock'n'roll in the throat", which isn't very nice, but perhaps necessary. Paul Lester.


ARTROCKER MAGAZINE:THE FRIDAY REVIEW.

This issue we brought Twisted Charm into the artrocker office, where we piled them with drink (tea) and forced them to listen to some of the latest releases...

AUTOKAT: Innocence (akoustik anarkhy recordings)

Nathan Doom: It's a bit basic.
John Garley: I don't like it. It's a bit boring, a bit punk- a bit too rock.


ASSEMBLY NOW: Graphs Maps and Trees (kids)

Nathan: I've never heard of them before. I don't like their name. It's a bit boring and bland. I could see myself listening to this on Dawson's creek. I mean, it doesn't have to be Dawson's creek- it just has to be bad television- it could quite easily be Hollyoaks. It's very safe. I'd give it 3 out of 10.

John: I'd give it 4. I really don't like it.

Nathan: That was the worst one.


THE BEEP SEALS: Stars (heron recordings)

Nathan: It's the same as the last one. I could see myself listening to this in a cafe, or in a doughnut shop in New York.

John: It doesn't sound very American. If i had it i would give it to someone else.


LA PALS: La Pals (akoustik anarkhy)

John: That's a worse name than Pure Reason Revolution.

Nathan: I like this one- it's got a bit of atmosphere to it. It's very dreamy- it's light. I like the swirly atmosphere. You could listen to this one on a merry-go-round at the fair.

John: It's alright. I wouldn't cover my ears if it was playing.

Nathan: They don't sound like they are from Manchester.


ZAN PAN: Sirens of Titan (pigeon coup records)

John: I like the name Zan Pan.

Nathan: Are they called Zan Pan? I've heard worse- their name is better then "A Singer Must Die". Good start.

John: The singer sounds a bit like the Ramones singer. I quite like it. It started off really really crap, then it changed. I though it'd be really like Hot Chip, but they've got this brass bit. They sound a bit like Spinal Tap. Definitely Spinal Tap. This bit's different though.

Nathan: The bits keep changing. I'd imagine that if someone bought this cd they would have a harley davidson.

John: ...and be over 45. Our fans wouldn't like it.


LADY FORTUNE: Mr.Brown (wanderlust records)

Nathan: I don't like their use of the word "fuck".

John: Yeah i don't like swearing in songs.

Nathan: It's kind of embarrasing. I just don't feel like he means it. People just shouldn't swear in songs. I believe in very few people swearing in songs- i cannot believe in his swearing. I wouldn't buy it and i wouldn't download it. I'd frisbee it across the room if it was given to me.


PACIFIC: Break Your Social System (moshi moshi singles)

Nathan: Their record label is interesting. Good start - very shoreditch though. I couldn't see myself dancing to it. I definitely wouldn't dj it, because i think it would be too difficult to dance to. I could see myself cooking pasta to it, with a bit of garlic, bacon and lemon juice. You definitely need the lemon juice. I'd give it a 5.

John: I'd give it a 6.


FREEZEEC:

First of all, cheers for this proof of originality! Your name's group does not start with "The", it is so rare nowadays for an English rock'n'roll group...Do You know where this fashion comes from?

Nathan Doom: Maybe it comes from the English band "The The".
Seriously though, we don't know where it comes from. We only knew that we wanted to avoid it.


Does the name "Twisted Charm" have a history?

Doom: Yes. It suits mine and my brother's personalities.
We can have split personalities, especially when alcohol fuelled. I am a fan of Stevenson's Dr.Jekyll and Mr.Hyde which was also a catalyst for our band name. Plus i love opposing words with contrasting meanings.


In your songs, you say that we are anaesthetized by TV, that we are alone, all similar, that we are boring in an asepticized world...
You are large optimists, aren't you ? Do you really believe it ? Or is it irony ?

Doom: I am a very optimistic person. This is why i find it necessary to observe the negative sides of human nature and lack of individuality.
Television enhances monotony. It makes people feel they are part of society when in actual fact it is drawing them away from it by diluting social interaction.


Points of hope in this crude world ?

Doom: Art, individuality, creativity, knowledge, food, wine and women.


May I criticize your album. I think that all the songs are very good for the radio, easily recognizable thanks to background notes often repeated, which identify the pieces. By the way, listening to the whole album in one time is rather difficult, precisely because of these given notes which give the impression (and it is only an impression) that the songs are quite the same. You see what I mean?

Doom: On first listen it may appear so. The album has a very distinct and bold sound. On repeated listens, though, each song develops an identity of its own.


My colleague has listened to your album, he found that "strange" and made him think about the "Bérurier Noir", an 80's group rather underground and cult.
Do you know about them? I didn't know about them and it's true that by listening too, we can notice these similarities of sound and history of the group.

Doom: No i had not heard of them. Your link is not working either. But i just found some other videos on youtube. I found them interesting but i couldn't see any similarities with us. They seem more hardcore-punk and less melodic.


Do you listen to French music ?

Doom: Yes We are big fans of Lucrate Milk, Justice, Stereolab, Les Rita Mitsouko and now Berurier Noir.


Will you play in France ?

Doom: We have five dates with Les Rita Mitsouko :
grenoble mc2 9/11/07
genoble mc2 10/11/07
paris olympia 13/11/07
toulouse le phare 4/12/07
bordeaux la medoquine 5/12/07
......come down and have a drink and a dance with us!


What are you listening to by the moment ?

Doom: The Good the Bad and the Queen-" "
Blonde Redhead-23
Brian Eno-Another Green World


Can you advice about artists ?

Doom: Form a band for nothing more than a passion for music. Never compromise your sound. Strive to create something unique.


3 of your favorite songs ?

Doom: Stranglers : Don't Bring Harry
Sonic Youth : Schizophrenia
Bob Dylan : Ballad Of A Thin Man


3 cult movies ?

Doom: Godard: Vivre Sa Vie
Bergman: Seventh Seal
Teshigahara: Woman In The Dunes



Do you have any other passion ?

Doom: I love writing and the cinema.
Dominic loves photography.
John loves driving family estate cars.
Luke loves money and moaning.


POP NEWS:SEPTEMBRE 2007....TWISTED CHARM

Avec leur EP "Boring Lifestyles", et surtout une tournée en première partie des Klaxons, les anglais de Twisted Charm ont déjà attiré l'attention d'une génération lasse de vivre en noir et blanc. Portant les inévitables paillettes et maquillage glam du moment, ils ont choisi de maltraiter l'ennui avec un post-punk chaotique illuminé par un saxophone insolent. Dans l'attente de la sortie de leur premier album fin septembre chez Because, Nathan Doom, guitariste et chanteur dont la voix hache si bien des paroles ironiques et drôles, s'est plié un instant à la bienséance pour nous répondre.



Penses-tu que Twisted Charm sonnerait différemment si le groupe était originaire d'une grande ville plutôt que du Northamptonshire ?
C'est difficile à dire parce que nous vivons à Londres depuis quelques années, on n'a jamais eu une mentalité de petite ville, c'est la naïveté des habitants de notre petite ville qui nous a donné envie de la quitter. Je trouve l'environnement citadin bien plus inspirant pour l'écriture. Londres est plus cosmopolite que l'endroit où nous vivions avant, elle dégage plus de beauté... et de laideur aussi.

Votre musique est-elle un bon moyen d'éviter la routine ?
Je pense que la musique est idéale pour s'évader de la routine. Mais on en reste tous victimes : on a tous des jobs de 9h à 17h et peut-être même que certains d'entre nous se marierons, si quelqu'un veut de nous...



Et vos vêtements flashy, ça change aussi non ?
Ça a toujours été un moyen de s'exprimer et d'assumer son identité. Luke et moi sommes plus intéressés par les fringues que John et Dominic. Eux préfèrent les accessoires plus masculins, comme du dégivrant pour leur voiture et des manteaux de grands-pères !

Vous attendez-vous à toucher un public autre qu'adolescent ?
Je considère que notre musique est très mature, donc bien sûr, j'espère que les adultes l'apprécieront. Mais entre nous, tu n'es vieux que quand tu te sens comme tel.

Penses-tu qu'il se passe vraiment quelque chose de nouveau avec la new-rave ou est-ce seulement un nouveau fantasme des médias ?
Il n'y a rien de nouveau ! C'est banal, Klaxons reprend quelques classiques de rave et il est automatiquement étiqueté new-rave ! Je ne sais pas comment eux-mêmes voient ça mais selon moi, c'est surtout un groupe de pop indé inventif ! Les médias ont juste fabriqué une scène pour se donner matière à écrire. Puis ils y ont ajouté New Young Pony Club, Shit Disco et CSS... En fin de compte, les scènes sont toujours douteuses et éphémères.



Comment fonctionne l'intrusion du saxophone dans vos compositions ?
Le saxo apporte plus de densité à notre musique, et plus de variations dans nos mélodies. J'ai toujours aimé le son du saxo dans la musique de John Coltrane mais aussi son utilisation par Essential Logic (groupe formé par la saxophoniste Lora Logic de X-Ray Spex, ndlr) et par James Chance And The Contortions pendant le mouvement art-punk de la fin des années 70.

Quel est le dernier bon disque que tu aies écouté ?
J'ai un coup de c--ur pour "23" de Blonde Redhead. A leurs débuts ils semblaient lourdement influencés par Sonic Youth. Mais maintenant, ils ont un son qui leur est propre, mettant en avant les émotions, ça m'a vraiment séduit.

Penses-tu que les gens qui ont écouté votre EP, "Boring Lifestyles", seront surpris par l'album ?
Pas spécialement. La satire, le cynisme, l'humour et la critique sociale sont toujours aussi dominants. Des titres sont plus lents, pour varier et aérer l'ensemble. La dernière chanson est très personnelle, nous continuerons sûrement dans cette direction sur notre prochain album.

Dans quelles conditions aimerais-tu que les gens écoutent votre disque ?
Les pieds dans le bain. En cuisinant. En voiture, tandis que la ville s'éveille. Dans des clubs. Dans une chambre, pour séduire ou pour faire fuir quelqu'un. Au travail, quand le patron a le dos tourné. Au casque, dans un zoo. Du moment qu'il est écouté, c'est tout ce qui compte !

As-tu peur de devenir un jour ennuyeux à ton tour ?
S'ennuyer a des avantages. Devenir vieux, devenir un ronchon avec un ventre à bière et jouer au bingo avec sa femme me paraît amusant. Mais pour maintenir l'intérêt de quelqu'un, que ce soit dans la musique ou dans la vie, il faut être intelligent, créatif, mystérieux, drôle, et par-dessus tout être spontané. Je serais inquiet uniquement si je devenais incapable de réussir ça.

Propos recueillis par Charline Lecarpentier.
Merci à Sophie.

NOIZE MAKES ENEMIES:
London has often been the hub of scene after scene over the years. Be it the swinging 60's Rock & Roll, Carnaby St clad Vespa mounted mods, skinhead ska or the anarchic birth of British punk. Scenes that start with a few fresh musical ideals and spread city wide through language, fashion, attitudes and bus loads of new bands following suit soon leading to record company cash-ins.

Today it remains very much the same. With new rave, artrock and indie-pop dictating ever increasing numbers of wardrobe choices and nighttime movements. New bands that form at the time either have the choice to jump headfirst onto the speeding bandwagon, or ridicule it and it's passengers from the side of the road as it drives past. And Twisted Charm take up one of today's pavement places.

Taking the new rave concept, bog washing it and steeling its lunch money. Mixing its glow stick electronica with Mark E. Smith individualism, Stranglers twisted pop sparkle, Madness saxophone ska dances and John Lydon aggression. This disjointed hybrid of London scenes past and present with a Manc kick in the gonads make for a vital fresh injection of life to indie scenesters everywhere.

From the urban anti-anthem single 'London Scene', a fairly self-explanatory dissection of life in the modern capital, from musical and lifestyle perspectives, layered over apocalyptic synths and black shade sax. "On the tube no one dares to look at each other's face, the football hooligans put the policeman in their place. Teenage mums with their prams are taking over the streets, nobody has the time to bother to read John Keats … A&R people on the guestlist instead of friends… this is the London scene but we're still proud". Polished off by the iconic stylings of the thrusting chorus hook.

Stories of people's mundane lives under the microscope persist in 'Layabout', 'Boring Lifestyles' and the 'Driving in my car' given a re-invention for the naughties vibe of 'Phoney People', an attack on many a London stereotype. "Why is everybody so fake, let's all be real".

Twisted Charm are an important addition to the indie scene, giving it a much needed slap around the chops. They'll raise many an eyebrow, start many a nutter dance and cause many a snigger. Whichever way the London scene decides to flow next, you can be sure Twisted Charm will be somewhere to be found – and Mr. Doom will most certainly have something to say! As Strummer and Jones so aptly put it "London calling to the imitation zone forget it, brother, you can go at it alone", and as Twisted charm will testify, you always can – and you often should. Martin Kendrick.

The Razz Paper:
Whether it is because the album cover is one you'd ignore in a bargain bin or because of the bad band and songs names, there was much to dismiss here at first. However these label mates of the Klaxons are actually pretty good. Part Blur, part Spizzenergi, part Squeeze, this album is a real grower.

Sandman Magazine:
Whatever happened to concious thought and lyrics? Hip hop became diluted, people swapped books for good looks, and "substance" and "meaning" left town seemingly never to return. Enter Twisted Charm; the last bastion of concious lyrics and substance on the scene today. Front man Nathan Doom's appropriate castigation of the idiots of this country is nothing short of rousing a social revolution. No holds barred, his sharp scathing wit and neo-punk gusto is joined with the bellicose grimey bass lines, jarring guitars and industrial drumming, which makes for a dangerous front line assault; re-enforce the cause with the clever harassment of the saxophone and hypnotic synth and trouble is really brewing.
Taking on the quixotic fight against; layabouts, conventional socialites and the unambitious clones of this country; they throw a fierce yet intelligent cat amongst the proverbial bland pigeons on the scene at the moment.
"Real Fictional" displays varied interpretations of their sound without being an in your face political rant, precocious or pretentious- in fact quite the opposite; puntuated with clever songs about the cinema and finding happiness in singledom. They're not trying to change the world, it's music, and with at least six really strong different singles available i'm sure their fusion of social observations and music will resonate far and wide.
Loose lips sink ships, so shout it from the rooftops and make sure you evangelise about Twisted Charm; as their soapbox attitude and blend of punk and new-wave simply cannot be beaten. Adam Adshead.

Daily mail:
There is something agreeably un-cool about Northampton quartet Twisted Charm. They might have toured with Klaxons, but there are no concessions to trendy nu-rave in their robotic 1980's-style pop. The band's jittery guitars are augmented by space-age effects. Never Grow Older is a honking ska number and Socialite recalls early Blur. Tully Potter.

Disorder Magazine:
If the sax in The Zutons drives you to rip the speakers off the wall then Twisted Charm may grate at first, but TC have actually all the hallmarks of a band with the ability to get under your skin in a welcome manner.
Comparisons do fly thick and fast at you - Blur (their Modern Life is Rubbish era),Ian Drury, The Specials and Jilted John being the immediate ones, with Siouxsie and The Banshees and Dexys' coming in close by - which can make it hard to decipher on what merits you like this band, but please persist.
Twisted Charm use the sax as more of a decisive blade to chop their music up rather than as a cheesy accoutrement, and the overall effect is grubby gutter pop, the kind that hasn't been seen for about 20 years. Kudos to the band that 'Real Fictional' doesn't feel at all dated and if you're still with the album by 'Broken Girl', then you're probably hooked by their broken punk; strangely hypnotic and almost apocalyptic in vision. This could be the soundtrack to 'A Clockwork Orange' for the millenium - empty streets, blank shutters and packs of marauding teenagers with mobile phones and steel piping. Dark but rewarding listening. 4/5

Loud and Quiet:
To some extent Twisted Charm should be considered the Velvet Underground of their time: their art-house aesthetic aside, they've refused to dumb down their distinctive and unique sound, and what's more they've refused to fuck off. "Real Fictional" has taken it's time to reach us and while it's continual sax-parping and inner city (eastside, of course) chats will struggle to cement any kind of Reed/Cale comparisons, the likes of  "London Scene?" flag up all the interesting ideas that ***** are pilfering. Danny Carter. 

The Guardian Guide:
If the fleeting charms of new rave are in its party atmosphere, Twisted Charm are more likely to be found in the kitchen. Too clever to have a good time without thinking about it, the Northampton band are less revellers and more critics - their music, like their recent single "Cinema", generally sees them casting a wry view around their surroundings and feeling rather unimpressed. In this, the band are not alone - the current crop of indie dancers are nothing if not analytical of their scene - but Twisted Charm go for something a bit more collegiate. Boldly referencing the more emotionally detached synthesiser music of the 1980's, the band are more than faintly reminiscent of Ladytron, with whom they share a producer, and, as with that band, if you bring the enthusiasm, they will supply the mild disdain. JR.

Zoo Magazine:
Klaxons tour partners, but don't place this London four-piece in any day-glo 
nu-rave box. There's a fierce punk-attitude careering through the band's sardonic three minute mini-epics.

Vice Magazine:
The one-time most over-gigged band in East London defy cynics by not disappearing into the bottomless pit of passable but pointless scene bands. Instead they emerge with a real 12-track album, with real artwork, on a real record label. Like a starker, snottier Squeeze with worse hooks. Not without Charm then. Randy Pan.

Artrocker Magazine:
Ah, Twisted Charm. This album has been a long time coming from these off-kilter London oddballs. Their taught and tight brand of art-punk is at times difficult to listen to - but this is what makes it all the more challenging and enjoyable. From the opening squeaky saxophone notes on "Never Grow Older", which runs like a renegade teenager into a tantrum complaining about parents - take heed as we follow them to "dispose of maturity." Nathan Doom's vocals on new single "Cinema", sees them screech their way through world cinema and alien synth arrangements.
"London Scene?", is probably the closest they have to an anthem as the spiky drumming and disjointed guitar playing echo moments of The Cure, as Doom tells the tale of what all Londoners know well - teenage mums, suicide, not looking at people on the tube, upper-class city girls and working-class city boys. The saxophone parts bring to mind Acoustic Ladyland as they spiral through a bittersweet tale of the big smoke.
The haunting echoes of "Boring Lifestyles" spit out the grime of everyday life, whereas "Phoney People" mocks those who work out at the gym and then head to Waterstones top-twenty collection. This is snarling observation of everyday life, and we ought to be worried - the phoney people are taking over. "Why is everybody so fake? Let's all be real!" I couldn't have put it better myself. Twisted Charm are the snotty dysfunctional cousins of Art Brut. Enjoy. Lee Puddefoot.

WWW.GLASSWERK.CO.UK

Twisted Charm (TC) are orphan quadruplets from a crazy midnight orgy that saw Pauline Murray & the Invisible Girls, Madness, Blur, Supergrass and The Specials, bang at it, as the theme of TVs 'Bottom' brainwashed all, playing over and over, beholding each and every influential stroke that eventually spawned these musically inbred babies. OK, that might not be strictly true, but I'd buy into it!

Following their earlier 2005/6 EPs, 'London Scene' & 'Boring Lifestyles', August 6th sees the release of TCs, Lance Thomas produced, debut 12 track LP, 'Real Fictional'. From the outset, its clear that Finsbury Park based Nathan Doom (vox / guitar / synth), Luke Georgiou (saxophone), John Garley (bass) and Dominic Cole (drums) are not only capable of composing songs that fuse all of their diverse sources of influence together; it's obvious that they're good at it and enjoy making the feversome, manic music they do.

Fleeting glances of songs like Monster Mash, Cool for Cats and even the Batman theme are commonplace and utilised superbly. BUT, with so much going on in their sound, it's easy to feel a little overwhelmed or bombarded by the full on delivery of each track. Coming at you thick and fast, it leaves you very little time to bask in the glow of any of the many highlights that can be found here, my favourite being 'Cinema', a subliminally catchy track that follows you around like next doors cat, half an hour before feeding time. It won't go away. It will follow you wherever you go. And, trying to kick it would certainly be frowned upon! I feel sure that given half a chance, any track on this LP could take the same hold on you and your subconscious, but as 'Cinema' was released as a single on July 23rd, why not go and check it out as a taster?! B-sides include live favourite 'Whore' and a South Central remix of 'Boring Lifestyles'.

There are a few albums that are better listened to with a ten minute breather between each song, so as to allow the proper appreciation they long to inspire to flourish. Real Fictional is certainly one of them. Unrelenting as it barrages your brain, each track of this LP demands that your ears keep on their toes! And just like those very ears, the tracks stand up tall and proud and challenge the competition to come and do better. TC have cleverly crafted their sound and injected each track they write with the necessary fervour to fulfill the infectious effect that they're fighting for. A little more time spent on the LP and the shaping of it as a whole, as opposed to gathering up all the tracks, lining 'em up and knocking 'em out, would've been time well spent. Like time spent listening to or watching TC. Ant Standring.

The Sunday Times Culture Magazine:
If a whole album's worth of material does Kate Nash's talent few favours, a similar exposé occurs here. Over the course of three singles, this Northampton four-piece have shown spark and flair, wielding sharp lyrics, loosely phrased, conversational singing and a sonic brew of Stranglers bass, Specials brass and stop-start spasmodics to great effect. Twelve tracks of this, though, may be asking too much of listeners, especially as Twisted Charm's subject matter is insufficiently varied (in their case, it's a prolonged, Arctic Monkeys-style sneer)... Plenty to build on, though. Dan Cairns.

Le tour de France had a wham-bam thank-you ma'm type of beginning at le grand mix in Lille. Red Citroen estate drive - Eurotunnel - red Citroen estate drive - gig - home. It was different supporting the Klaxons as it meant we had 800 or so teenagers freaking out to our music instead of 80 adults nodding their heads. It felt funny parking our Citroen Xantia estate car next to their orange 15-tonne limousine tour bus as well equipped with 12 beds and even more apple macs, playstations and dvd players. Us? Jealous?? Nahhh….



We had a flask of tea in our car! tea is the ultimate luxury in this life. For these Englishmen anyway. Excluding John who prefers Perrier. Funny lad. He used to be called Dave but he wanted a more outrageous and flamboyant name so he came up with John.

Anyhow the gig went great. We had our first stage diver ever(!) and in the middle eight of "Phoney People" the french kids stomped their feet and raised their hands above their heads to clap. Momentarily I thought I was Freddie Mercury doing "Radio Ga-Ga" but then I remembered I fancy girls and I'm not capable of growing even the smallest of moustaches. After the show we found a giant tub of pasta and basil in the venue kitchen to consume. To our surprise we saw Lovefoxx from CSS rummaging around for food in there aswell. And a very nice person she was too. On the drive home we took a wrong turn which left us about 40 mins to get to Calais for our train home. We were about 140km away though so John drove like a bastard to get there on time. 130 mph all the way. John bought a sat-nav when we got home. It's nothing short of a miracle!! We just need to change the directional voice to Alan Partridge's now.

We skipped the Lyon gig as we couldn't afford to get there after buying the sat-nav so next up was Le Trabendo in Paris. We arrived 10mins before doors were due to open. Jamie Klaxon gave us a cheer for our late arrival and luckily the tour manager Denni (aka Tony) held the doors back so we had time for a quick soundcheck. Gig went cool. We have heard lots about Parisian crowds being snobbish and to cool for school but they got down. After the show Dominic found a cold lasagne that I think the Klaxons had left so he was happy. We found some whiskey and wine so we were happy too. We had the next day off so we let our hair down a bit.

We were due to stay at fab Fabio's house but he only had one bed. Thankfully we met two crazy columbian twins backstage who invited us back to their pad to lay our sweet heads. Only thing was the french kids followed us, and it's a myth that no one else drinks like the english…



I got called an internet junkie for hogging the pc but it's only because I don't have a pc at home (or a home for that matter) so when I find one it's like finding a pot of treasure. Dominic was strangely shy that night but John and Luke made up for our reticence. I cannot repeat what john was saying but when Luke finally shut up and entered narcolepsy he kept us all awake with his snoring. The french kids had left by then but the columbian twins Daniel and Mary Rodriguez looked like they regretted inviting us back. Obviously they didn't though as they asked us to stay the following night too.

In the morning John pulled off a parking ticket from the citroen and dropped it down a Paris drain. Then daniel told him to enter the restaurant address his sister worked at into the sat-nav. The restaurant was by the sacre-coeur which was an awesome sight. It's overview of paris equals that from the top of the Eiffel Tower. Stunning! And there was an ethereal picturesque mist over paris that day. I felt sad for a minute due to a personal memory but I soon cheered up when we got a bacon and cheese crepe on the house from marie's restaurant. Maybe it's because they took one look at luke and thought his mum doesn't feed him. Not true though as I hear that Shari Georgiou is a very talented cook.

Later that evening we were invited to watch one of Marie's friends lap dance in a Parisian bar but that's not our sort of thing and since we have girlfriends (although it's bizarrely common knowledge that mine dumped me) we opted to watch a Swedish band called The Sounds play. Probably the most clichéd band I have ever seen!! During one sentimental number I said to Dom people are going to get their lighters out soon and low and behold 20 seconds later the lead singer actually encouraged the audience to do so. It was like being at a Dawson's Creek college disco! I hate that contrived cliquey "we are all together" intimacy. Just like I hate it when a band on myspace adds another band into their top 8 just because they find themselves in the top 8 of the band they are adding. "Oh we love your band too!" shut up!! Just say so if you do in an email don't pretentiously display it for the world to see who you like or hang out with. STYLE! it's a rare thing these days… Anyway I'm off to Michael Bolton's for tea so i'll be back in a bit.

The following day Marie from our record label (Because Music) kindly invited us for lunch. We ate chicken, chips and salad and it was lovely. Then we were shown around the record label office. We met the boss Emanuelle who was very amiable and welcoming, not to mention his impeccable taste in music of course. Or a screw loose for liking us twisted twits. Then we were shown around by the one and only down-to-earth cool-cat Antoine. Dominic was like a spoilt kid in a sweet shop nicking all the cds he could find but the rest of us behaved well for once. After a fantastic black coffee (orange squash for John) we left for L'Olympic in Nantes.

Nantes was probably the most wildest show for us. The atmosphere was electric. We even got a stage invasion and I received a kiss on the cheek no less. It's nice to be loved by someone other than my mum. I don't think we will ever sign as many autographs as we did that night (or as many smelly pairs of converse). It was nice to meet you Pany, Camille, Marie, Laura and the rest of the gang even though you must be a touch warped.

We did an interview for The London Paper after the show with the lovely " hi Kim, bye Kim, hi Kim." The interview and show was filmed so maybe we will stick it up on myspazz if we're not as boring as we thought we were. We also met the lovely Briana who might be doing the press for our next single "Cinema" and whom I regret not getting to speak to more. The Klaxons had an early one this night so we finished off the leftover chicken carcass in their dressing room. The bouncers tried to take it away but i told them "not tonight, not not tonight." We finally met our friend Manon Caillosse. She's a german girl who was letting us stay at her house that night.

Luke fell asleep on her couch as soon as we arrived at her pad so Manon showed the rest of us where the three beds were. Of course I got the double bed as I AM the hardest member of Twisted Charm but when John nipped to the toilet for a quick wee Luke suddenly woke up and nicked john's lovely comfortable bed. So our poor bass player/driver/tour manager/myspace operator/accountant was left on a hard floor. Luke slept soundly through the night with his dolly.



The sun was big and bright the next morning so Manon made us coffee and breakfast...



Thanks so much for looking after us Manon.

We left for Rock School Barbey in Bordeaux early so we could arrive on time for once. We had only been listening to current music in the Citroen during the tour but when the sun's out my favourite song to listen to is "Love Street" by the Doors.



It reminds me of summer the same way freshly cut grass does. So we stuck on the album "Waiting for the Sun" on the stereo. I wish I could sing like Jim! The album was broke up a few times due to us all having individual wee patterns. Actually we must have stopped at every single service station in France but we felt the groove.



after soundcheck in bordeaux we met our manager jane third. jane often teaches john new words to make him more hip and less geeky but i like geeks! today though she had been shopping and had bought a new coat. she tried it on and asked me what i thought of it. i said she looked like a hooker. jamie klaxon agreed with me on this but added that this was a compliment. i meant a high class escort girl though jane. anyhow she always looks very lady like really and has a great sense of humour so she could handle it.

Dinner was bizarre. We ate on a London double-decker bus with Shoreditch wrote on the front. Even in rural france we cannot get away from sodding hoxton... Dinner was a choice between trout with green beans and chicken pie with green beans. the fish was delicious but i'm glad we didn't eat it drunk with all the bones you had to fish out. The wine was very nice too. Simon was telling me what a great guy James Ford was to work with and his concerns about second albums. Personally I think our second album will be as good as our first even though it's not out yet but our schedule isn't half as hectic as the horsemen.

Our gig that night was our weakest of the tour but I thought it was the best I had seen the Klaxons. They were awesome that night. We needed cheering up so we went to a bar in bordeaux with our sweet marketing girl Sophie. We talked, drank and watched people dancing for a while. I somehow lost everyone on the way home and ended up lost on the streets of Bordeaux. They were mean streets. Not as mean as Finsbury Park at 3am but nevertheless dodgy. For some reason unknown to me I ended up being cornered by some french bad boyz on bikes. They were threatening me in broken English. I contemplated hitting the loudest one as hard as I could and then legging it but in the end he said to me "actually I like your face" and then they disappeared. Weirdos! It was a surreal night. Bordeaux is like an intricate maze of hidden streets, possibilities and fates. Later on I strolled across an unconcious man on the streets. He was surrounded by friends and medics though so I walked on. I hope he's ok now. Soon after that 3 friendly french girls showed me how to use the phone box so I could call John to find out where our hotel was but then I saw Luke walking along with a rabble in the distance. Luke reckoned he knew where our hotel was so off we went.

The thing is he only knew the chain name and he took us to the wrong one. the French receptionist kindly allowed us to use their phone though so we called John. He sounded sleepy though and unhelpful. Cheers John. It was luke who nicked your comfy bed last night not me. We slept soundly in the end though. John bought us a big pizza for breakfast in the morning. He's a big softie really…

Then we were off to Co-Operative in Clermont-Ferrand. The venue chef made us chicken cooked in whiskey with risotto rice. The rice was lovely. Plus chocolate mouse for desert. The reception from the audience here was great so we loved the gig. Merci. I even learnt more french by this point so I could talk to the audience. Bet I sounded like a tit though. During the klaxons set a boy jumped onto the stage in admiration and was badly man-handled by the security staff. This pissed the Klaxons off so it was quite a sombre end to the tour. I spotted the venue staff in the corridor later on taking a bottle of champagne to the klaxons dressing room. So I gave them a deprived stare and the next thing I know we had a bottle in our room too!! After a few drinks with the Klaxons we went to load up and shared some dregs with two french kids waiting on the street. Sorry we had no room to give you a lift home in the Citroen. Hope the streets aren't like Bordeaux and you got home safely…