i have friends in philadelphia. but every time someone from sc and i are scheduled to cross paths, there is this feeling of "finally."

finally what, i'm not exactly sure. finally, the opportunity for unconditional love, i suppose. my sc friends have seen me in my element. they've seen me at my best and, conversely, at my worst. i spend so much of my philadelphia time worried, and trying to fit in. i scold myself for it, but it happens nonetheless.

i am waiting for an entire month where i can be unapologetically myself.

i saw an article about it in city paper, and decided to look into it. it was this elaborate, secret-y thing (which i love)--you had to sign up and confirm online in order to get the email to find out where and when to meet. once at the meeting spot, the route was still a secret until the moment we left, so the police wouldn't have a chance to intercept. as it turns out, though, the police weren't a problem at all. in fact, there was a cruiser bringing up the rear (no pun intended). the only time the lights or sirens were even used was at the end of the ride when everyone was standing in the middle of the street, and that was only for a second. 

i didn't originally intend to go as bare as i did. once i got there, though, and saw how many other people were doing it (and was generously ushered to a tarped-off area for body painting), i decided, 'what the fuck.' 

the turnout was pretty incredible.

there was every kind of person imaginable doing this thing:

young people

old people

people in terrific shape

people with curves everywhere

well-endowed people

sparingly-endowed people

people in sports bras and bike shorts

people fully in the buff

straight couples on tandem bikes

gay couples on tandem bikes

a naked daddy with his naked baby (save for a diaper)

a lady pulling her dog in a pet carrier

crust punks

business professionals

in short--everyone.

it was kind of awkward at first, waiting for the ride to begin. you're standing there naked, and there's a crowd of (clothed) onlookers, staring and taking pictures.

after a while though, they were hardly noticeable. 

we began the ride promptly at 6:30, and started on the river path. one guy got a flat tire immediately after starting the ride, which sucked, but was also immediately helped by 4 or 5 of his naked peers. i spoke to him later, and he said it was the fastest he's ever had a tire changed. 

we rode around the art museum, around rittenhouse square, down market, into northern liberties. one of the best moments of the whole ride for me was when we took the 5th street tunnel. a moderately steep downhill, followed by a moderately steep uphill, it's kind of thrilling even when you're riding it alone. last night though...it gave me chills. i was cheering at the top of my lungs as i swept down it, and i couldn't even hear myself. we stopped for the light at the end of the tunnel. i was pretty near the front, and i took a moment to look back over my shoulder at the other riders.

the entire tunnel was filled. it was impossible to even see the end of the crowd. it was, without exaggeration, awe-inspiring.

one thing that really surprised me about last night was the overwhelming support we got from onlookers. i mean, i know we were naked and all (and that's bound to garner some sort of fandom), but i really expected more mixed reviews. i didn't hear anything negative. people were honking their horns and getting out of their cars to cheer. even the cars that were stopped at their green lights or stuck in the pack were rolling down their windows and giving people high fives. at one point, we passed a fully-clothed cyclist that had obviously been previously unaware of the ride. there was a look of complete and utter shock on her face as she was confronted the crowd but then, after a moment, she shrugged, stripped off her shirt, and joined the pack. totally fucking awesome.

even this couple didn't mind sharing their special day with some naked people on bikes.

the end of the ride was immense. there were people with drums lining the sidewalk. there were people dancing naked in the street. 

we retired to the after party, a large warehouse simply marked with x-mas lights.

after being so hesitant to take off my clothes, i now found myself reluctant to put them back on. i spent most of the evening walking around in a hoodie and a thong, the words 'made you look' painted across my ass. 

i will be doing it again next year for sure. 

(that's me--bottom center. again, pardon the pun.)

feel free to join me. 

you're welcome.

loyal she began, loyal she remains.

but off i go.........

i've been to other countries a couple of times. my mother's canadian, so i've been there more times than i can count. my sister lived in bristol when i was 11, so i went there, london, and paris with her and my mom.

now, though, i want to take a trip as an adult.

i want to go to ireland. i'm irish as a shamrock, and i think that i'm due.

i told my mom during the afore-mentioned conversation, and she thought it was a great idea. still though, i was a little hesitant. ireland is pretty far away (there are oceans involved!). plane fare is pretty hefty. i wouldn't know anyone or anywhere fun to go. the list went on and on. finally, i decided to email my friend eric. he's probably my most well-traveled friend (having tattooed all over europe), and a reliable source of fun. i told him i was considering visiting dublin in the next few months, asked him if he had ever been there and, if so, if he had any suggestions for fun places to go during my stay. 

he wrote back saying not only had he been to dublin, but that he is scheduled to RE-visit in the first week of november. he knows people there. he knows places to go. although he's going to be busy with the tattoo convention, he offered to take some time off after to explore other parts of ireland with me. 

i couldn't possibly ask for a more ideal opportunity. as soon as i read his email, i sent one to my boss, requesting the first week of november off. 

i'm so excited that my palms are sweating. this is a feeling of adventure that is new to me. 

i need to update my passport.

mom: please don't! i'm begging you! do you hear me? your mother is begging!

me: mom, it's going to happen. this is just one of those things you are going to have to learn to accept. 

mom: how are you going to snag that rich doctor husband to take care of you if you're covered in tattoos??

me: i am changing the subject, mom. 

mom: oh, alright. i have to go to work, anyway. i'm glad to hear you're happy.

me: thanks, mom.

mom: i'll talk to you soon--pick up some nice boy!

me: they're always nice. 

mom: none with tattoos!

me: nice boys can have tattoos, mom.

mom: rich ones! it's okay if they have tattoos if they're rich!

me: okay. i'll be on the lookout. 

mom: love you.

me: love you.

i feel it necessary to state that she was 95% kidding. if you happen to stumble across any rich, tattooed boys though......well, i think it would make my mother very happy.

and drinking way more than i should, per usual. 

one of the reasons i've been so lax on updating my blog is that i've really gotten into snail mail correspondence with some of my friends and loved ones. i love giving/getting more mail more than a whole lot of things in my life, and i suppose i've been hesitant to write about things i'm already putting in a letter, for fear of ruining the surprise. 

(sidenote: if you want to get in on this snail mail correspondence, just send me your address. i'd love to include you). 

another is that i haven't felt allll that interesting as of late. i'll make an attempt to update you nonetheless.

let's see... i've been growing plants in my room and, for once, they seem to be thriving. i tend to have a brown thumb, and so to see not only an absence of dead leaves and limbs, but actual new growth makes me feel immensely proud of myself. i have two peppermint plants that are taking up a lot of my attention and concern. i hope they continue to flourish.

i am trying to do some traveling, and to coax others to travel to see me. the more i think about it, the more i realize that my job, although not a long-term ideal for me, affords me a substantial amount of disposable income and time. i haven't been taking advantage of this in the least. tomorrow i head to dc. i tried to go last week--made it all the way to the train station, in fact, but was thwarted by my lack of photo id. tomorrow i hope to remedy the situation, and spend some qt with my brother and lil timmy hardcore. 

i also recently booked a flight to portland oregon. i am really, really excited to go. i haven't seen chuck in too long. i miss him, and am anxious to see him in his new environment. my friend chris from camp is making a special trip from seattle to see me while i'm there, and that touches my heart. i wondered if i'd ever see him again, honestly. 

i've been doing more art lately--mostly drawing and painting. watercolors are some hard shit to master, man. i am quickly ruining piece after piece with bled-out colors, but am slowly learning and enjoying myself. 

i've been spending a lot of time alone. i'm trying to figure out some long-term plans, and suss out what sort of shape i want my life to take. i don't want to be where i am (both literally and figuratively) for too much longer. i can't continue to assume things are just going to work themselves out in my favor--history has proved the contrary for the past, oh, 3 years. while some of the friends i've made in philadelphia are true and dear to me, a substantial amount have been an excuse for me to coast.

i miss so many people, lately. there has been a steady influx of south carolina residents in philadelphia lately, and it has simultaneously appeased and intensified my homesickness. it really is a heartache sometimes, to love so many people, and have the majority of them be so far from me. 

anyway, i guess that's all for now. i'll update when i feel good and ready.

up until 7am, hating my life and ruining our trashcan. 

who could have suspected that eating paella made from dumpstered scallops could possibly go wrong?

not me, obviously.