If you're going to argue with me, don't even try.

Why, just today I ate the side of my head!!!

Signed,
The Troublemaker Made of Sugar

You know you want some frosting.  Fronsting.  Fraoinnstn.  I am high on my own sugar content!!!

I cannot possibly be held responsible for any shenanigans.

Sheboygan!  Shenanigans shenatnigha she...

Ooog.

A "We Put the Fun in FUNNELCAKE!" shirt.  Need I say more.

And you wonder why my brain is scrambled.

But now I do, and you do too.

Embarrassing story about high heels, cake, and bananas.

My favorite part is where she was carrying the cake and "It was big and round and very soft and creamy, plus it was chocolate!"

Mmmm.... creamy....

I guess that's one reason never to wear high heels to school.

Someone should have made me with espresso frosting.  Because I am so brain dead at this moment that I can hardly perch myself well enough to type this out.
You say, "Bad Cakes, how can a cake be brain dead?  Do cakes really have brains to begin with?"
I say, "Dear Reader, I have a brain.  It is made of marzipan.  I have a cousin cake and his is made out of jelly.  Not all of us have brains but some of us do.  Generally it is a drawback, unless we have been successful in concocting and enacting diabolical schemes that will allow us to live abnormally longer than the average cake's lifespan."

I like eating jelly.

I can't figure out if these guys are geniuses or have their heads stuck in a coffee mug.
First of all, they are a bunch of freaks, messing with cake.  They are putting it in coffee mugs and using it as place name cards and various odd things like that.  SECONDLY, they are microwaving the cake.  WHAT??!!!  That is just RUDE.  No cake worth its salt wants to be microwaved.  How will our tops turn golden brown and be ready for our well-earned frosting???  Besides, all the other cakes laugh at you, and that's just depressing.
Maybe if they put COFFEE CAKE in the mugs, and baked it in the oven, then maybe I would consider this as part of my reality.  Coffeecake isn't really cake, you know.  It's completely different.  A distant relative, but somewhere off in left field.  I've heard it's still quite yummy.
If only someone thought up something *really* exciting to do with cake...

*sigh*
Bad Cake (NOT IN A CUP!!!)

Do watch out for those naughty birthday cake candles!!!
$150,000 in damages because they were apparently lax in blowing them out... come on, people!

On the other hand, these donkeys have it figured out.  Now the humans are feeding them carrot cake.
Donkeys #1 -- Jack and Jill
Donkeys #2 -- Sancho and honorary donkey-dog Dakota
Slaves to donkeys!  You people have brought it on yourself with your ipod cakes, fondant travesties, and lack of candle-blowing-out-ability!!!

There are 800 mgs of sodium in the thing I am eating.  I wonder if that's bad for me?

P.S. Someone stole some of my frosting and I bet I know who (see #7 on the list).

You people are sick.

If that's the best you can do for a wedding cake, then I have something for you -- a CAKE IN THE FACE!!!

Urggghh....

Please try to improve yourselves.  I offer you a step up in the world.  Listen to this woman's wonderful advice:

"Serve the dinner backward, do anything - but for goodness sake, do something weird."  -- Elsa Maxwell

That is all for now, and no, Ipods do NOT qualify as "weird".