The "L" word...

No, I don’t mean love. We all know that one can hurt. I’m just talking about "like." If love can hurt like a kick in the balls, "like" can hurt at least like a paper cut on your tongue. (I am an experienced writer/ponderer. Do not try these similes at home).

So it’s no secret that I’m single. Annoyingly so. Recently I started seeing a girl that had me head over heels. In a very short time. She was pretty, sweet, funny (with a wonderfully sarcastic streak), etc. Everything that I thought I wanted. Our last date was last Tuesday night. We had dinner, saw a movie, smooched in the parking lot. I asked her if she wanted to go out again. She said yes. When I got home, there was an email from her waiting for me. She said again what a nice time she had.

I liked her. A lot. A whole lot. Wednesday morning, I told my boss that I thought I would marry her (don’t move too fast, do I?). We had even talked about what to name our first daughter (Courtney Olivia, if you’re curious). I tried calling her on Thursday night to say hi (didn’t want to be annoying guy who calls every day), but she didn’t call back that night.

At that point I knew. I’d been there before, and I knew what was coming.

On Friday morning, I told my boss that I would bet that I’d never see her again. She called me crazy.

Emailed her on Friday. No answer.

Called again yesterday. No answer.

(You see where this is going, I’m sure).

Being that I am very insecure about relationships (and given my track record, it’s easy to understand. I am about as unlucky as Bobby Brady after he found the Hawaiian tiki), I was getting rather freaked out. What had I done? What did I say? Anyone who said that "Silence is golden" had obviously never been in this situation.

So anyway, after a rather sleepless night (that’s an understatement. I was watching cartoons and eating potato chips at 4am), I drifted off and woke up about 11. I ran to check my email, and lo and behold (gratuitous serious-writer insertion), there was an email from her.

She had just decided that I wasn’t the one. She had hoped her feelings would change on that, but they hadn’t. She wanted me to know so I wouldn’t keep wondering why the phone wasn’t ringing. Very considerate. I guess. Happy Easter. Yay.

Do I sound whiny? A little I guess. I cried. A little. I hadn’t even been seeing her -that- long, but (if you have forgotten the whole point of this blog) I liked her. A lot.

I keep asking myself, can I keep doing this? I want to have a sweetheart/wife. I want to have kids and be a good Dad. But damn, this just sucks. Right now, I think I’d prefer to die with a lonely heart as opposed to a broken one.

I’ll get over it, I suppose. Always have. But my main points of this little literary endeavour are these: if you have someone, count yourself lucky. Because there are those of us who would do anything to be where you are; and if you must break up with someone, at least tell them why. Silence isn’t golden, it’s cruel.

Later...

Barry

Many of you know that last year, I won a PLAYBOY magazine contest. I got to go to PB HQ in Chicago, sit in on a cover photoshoot with the gorgeous Taryn Terrell (*shameless gloating alert*), have dinnner with Taryn (*more gloating*) and then go to the first PB ONE NIGHT STAND party downtown at the rockin' Cubby Bear. :) I met such nice and beautiful ladies/models like Carlotta Champagne, Jaime Hammer, Roxanne Dawn, and Evelina Grieco.  Well, when I read that at this year's party, my very favorite model, Breann McGregor, would be there, I wanted to attend. :) Soooo, off I went this past weekend to Chi-town! My first time riding Amtrak. It wasn't bad. ;) Got to the party early on Sat night and yes, Bre was there. She recognized me and gave me a big hug, while I melted into a puddle.

Not really. :) But it was so cool. Bre is just as nice and sweet in person and she seems online. And even more gorgeous. :) Roxanne (lookin' my-t-fyne) and Evelina (ditto) were there too and I got to catch up with them. In addition, this year I met PB models Jenny Haase (cute as a button), Jenny Tuck (that's one taaaallll lady), and model and BEAUTY AND THE GEEK winner Megan Houserman! Just like last year, Wedding Banned rocked the house (the best part was when they launched into "Don't Stop Believin'" lol...)

WB: "Juuuust a small town girl..."

ENTIRE REST OF THE CLUB: "Livin' in a LONNNNELY woo-oorld..."

Even better was the fact that, based on observing the crowd, most weren't even alive when the song was first released. Good times. :)

The entire party was awesome and lots of fun. I got to see my PB friends from last year, Stacy, Julie, and Jeff. Kudos and thanks to them for another great time!

So check out the pics up in my new ONS '07 album, and there are more to come. Feel free to comment. ;)

W'sup, all?  So tomorrow the movers are coming to take away all my stuff and (hopefully) deliver it to my bitchin' (can I say bitchin'?) new apartment in Michigan by the 31st. Am I nervous? Yes, sort of. I've never used a moving company before. I just hope all of my stuff arrives okay. Like any guy, I gotta have my stuff.  I've been packing and cleaning all weekend, and I'm pretty tired. I just hope everything goes okay tomorrow.

Last week, I spent a few days in Las Vegas with my family for a vacation. Saw some good shows while I was there...comedians Louie Anderson at the Excalibur and George Wallace at the Flamingo. The best, though, was the musical MAMMA MIA! at the Mandalay Bay. If you haven't heard of it, it's a play  based on the music of ABBA. Really.   Saw it with my sister and we had lots of fun. The cute-as-a-button star was Kelly Daniells, who played Sophie Sheridan. Here she is: http://www.kellydaniells.com/  She's also in my Top Friends.  If you haven't seen the show, go see it if you can, and watch for Kelly in more stuff!

My friend Breann McGregor, the Playboy Model and Cyber Girl of the year, will be on CNN Headline News this coming Wednesday July 25th. She will discuss weight issues of the model business and being a mentor for all women of all ages. 11pm Eastern time and 8pm Pacific and re air later 2 am Eastern 11pm Pacific. Tune in!

A shout-out to Carly, who's in Ireland this week! Hope the flight went okay!  

Send me a few thoughts if you wanna!

Barry

OK, the challenge is, once you have been tagged you have to write a blog about 10 weird things/habits you do. Afterward you have to tag 10 people and let them know and direct them to your blog.

Thanks BlondePoppy for tagging me!

And now, behold the weirdness...  :)

1.  I like to eat nacho cheese Doritos with French onion dip.

2.  I like to eat Cheez-Its with peanut butter. 

3.  I like to eat some weird stuff. ;)

4.  I am very shy around wimmins. True story. :)

5.  I have to check my email, both at work and at home, very frequently. If my computer is down, I get restless! LOL

6.  I spend a lot of my time trying to do what I can to help other people. That's not bragging, it's just what I do. That's why I like my job as an HR Manager so much.

7.  I can't listen to songs I like without singing along. ;) 

8. I still like to watch cartoons sometimes. :) Scooby-Doo, Flintstones, Jonny Quest, etc.

9. I can't sleep if it's perfectly quiet. I have to have some background noise.

10. Even though I haven't come close to having to use them, I like to keep emergency supplies in my Jeep. Blanket, shovel, rope, fire extinguisher, first-aid kit, etc.

Now let's see..who am I gonna tag...

Tess...BlondePoppy...Melissa...Amanda Lynn...Then and NOW...Cassie...Queen Bitch...Les...Italian Playmate Trisha...Sorry, An Unexpected Error, etc.

Hi gang!! :)

College Girls cover girl Taryn Terrell has led a mostly charmed life -- a happy family life to go along with plenty of personality, popularity and beauty . But this University of New Orleans cheerleader has had to face some personal challenges, too -- challenges which she's overcome with a level of courage and grace that belie her 21 years. We recently had a chance to talk with her about the ups and downs of her still-young life.

PSE: Tell us about your childhood. TT: I was born in New Orleans and grew up in the surrounding suburbs. I disliked being by myself and to this day I'm always happier when there are people around. As a child I loved dance and exercise -- in fact, I had a Disney Mousercise fitness video tape for kids which I worked out to religiously. But my biggest dream was to be a fly girl from In Living Color. I was too little to understand the comedy but when the fly girls would begin dancing I was right there dancing along in front of my TV. Over all I had the best experience growing up. My family has its quirky side -- like talking in movies and continuously making fun of one another -- but that's what makes us unique!

PSE: We understand you learned to scuba dive as a kid.
TT: My dad was a scuba diver so I wanted to dive because it was something we could share. I loved it so much that I began working at the local dive shop and took classes in wreck, deep, night and rescue diving. A the age of 12 I became a certified open water diver and have continued my education to become a master scuba diver -- when I do something I go all the way! I've dived in the Bahamas, Atlantic Ocean, Gulf of Mexico and Hawaii, but my favorite dive was in Key West where we saw a 600-pound jewfish, a resident of a wrecked ship 110 feet underwater. My dream dive would be off the coast of Australia -- I hear there is so much to see that you never want to surface!

PSE: Were you a popular kid?
TT: I was always very social -- I made friends easily -- which made transitions like moving from a public school to a private Catholic school very easy. I wore glasses until the sixth grade and I remember my mom brought me to get my makeup done when I got my contacts. When I showed up at school at the end of the year with makeup and no glasses I definitely caught the boys' attention! But probably the greatest advantage of finally being pretty was getting A's in history class!

PSE: But you didn't choose history as your college major.
TT: No! Originally I began as a hospitality major, but I quickly realized that marketing appealed to my sense of creativity and interest in consumer behavior. The great thing with marketing is that it encompasses so many aspects of business, everything from product development to post-testing of final products and services -- it's a vital part of the economy. I see myself settling into the entertainment field, possibly in sports marketing -- I love football players! Being a former college cheerleader, the sports industry has always been an interest of mine. I would jump at the opportunity to work in that field.

PSE: Hurricane Katrina briefly interrupted your college experience. Describe your storm story.
TT: As many people know, it's a tradition in New Orleans to ride out the storm. Unfortunately, this was not the storm to ride out! We owned a home on Lake Ponchartrain but wisely decided to stay with a friend, whose home was eight miles inland. To be honest, I had a hurricane party and ended up sleeping through the worst of the storm, only to wake up hearing cracking noises and seeing trees slam against the home's exterior. After the storm passed we took chainsaws to cut a path down the road to escape. We discovered that our home on the lake was under six to eight feet of water -- a year and a half later it's still not fixed! -- and my school was so damaged that the 2005 fall semester was cancelled. The area around school still hasn't been rebuilt and it's quite depressing to drive to school every day and see cars still in the medians and homes sitting empty with FEMA's death count on each front door. But I feel honored to be a a citizen and proud to be a survivor -- events like this add to your character.

PSE: You've had to overcome some serious health issues, too.
TT: Yes, two years ago my lungs began collapsing spontaneously -- a condition called spontaneous pneumothorax. A hole developed in my lung and began to let air seep out, causing it to collapse, threatening my respiratory and cardiovascular systems. In December 2004 I had double lung surgery in which the most diseased parts of my lungs were removed along with my pleural lining. While the surgery was tough, I'm now able to live freely -- my lungs still get holes but they're not life threatening anymore. I know it's a cliché, but when you go through something like that you really do enjoy life more.

PSE: Why and when did you decide to do Playboy?
TT: My parents always knew it was something I wanted to do and fully supported my idea. I always checked Playboy's website to see when the casting calls were held, but it seemed I was always busy on those dates. Finally, the Cleveland Casting Call dates worked for me. I flew there from New Orleans with the idea that if nothing came of it at least I tried. Two weeks later I got a call telling me I was going to be a cover girl! I was in a class at the time, so I ran out and called my parents, my friends -- anyone who would answer the phone, actually! Everyone was so excited -- my friends even hosted a miniature Mansion party for me! It has been such an amazing opportunity and I am so proud to represent Playboy as a cover girl.

PSE: As it turns out, your photo shoot was the one at which our cover shoot contest winner, Barry Johnson, was present and you both got to go to the SE One Nite Stand party. How'd that go?
TT: Barry is my first official fan -- and he's such a nice guy! We still keep in touch, e-mailing back and forth weekly. Although I was exhausted from the shoot, I was very excited about the party. There was great music, great drinks, a great crowd and I met the most amazing girls. We ended up partying until 4 a.m. and my flight left at 7 a.m. Needless to say I didn't get any sleep -- but I had an amazing time!

PSE: Your merrymaking also included a stop at the Playboy Mansion. Describe your experience there.
TT: I was so excited when I received my invitation to the Halloween Party that I had it framed! I dressed up as an Eskimo -- but the costume had sailor accents so I'm not really sure what I was! When we pulled in front of the Mansion I couldn't believe my eyes -- it's so much bigger than I expected! The actual party was a blast -- the body-painted girls danced, Too Short rapped with Kendra Wilkinson at his side and celebrities such as Paris Hilton, Owen Wilson, Holly Madison, Pauly Shore, Lil John and many more were partying along side of me. I had previously met Bridget Marquardt in San Francisco so I chatted with her for a bit and she personally introduced me to Hef -- who is an amazingly nice man. And the highlight of highlights was the haunted house -- one of the scariest haunted houses I have ever been through! It was a great time!

PSE: Where would you like your modeling career to go?
TT: My dream is to make Playmate, but whatever happens I'll take full advantage of every opportunity that comes my way. I gain satisfaction from knowing that I went for something and got it. I want to continue to make great pictures, so guys, I need your support in order to keep taking my clothes off for Playboy! --> -->--> END SE Insider --> --> --> --> SExy website -->

Okay, so, some of you know that a couple of weeks ago, I won a national contest sponsored by PLAYBOY magazine's Special Editions division! They put out the monthly titles like Book of Lingerie, College Girls, etc. Last Friday, I got to fly out to Chicago (their corporate HQ), stay at the ultra-fancy W Hotel, tour the Playboy Building, sit in on a cover shoot, have dinner with a cover model, and go to a party downtown Friday night!!

So here we go with the details...

It was the BEST. DAY. EVER. :-)

Since my flight left out of Baltimore at 7:50am on Friday, I decided to go down there on Thursday night and stay in a hotel near the airport. I had never been to Baltimore before, but my friend Tim said hed be glad to drive me (thanks, Bro!), and then pick me up at the airport on Saturday. So I got to the hotel about 10pm. Of course, I barely slept at all! (It felt like Christmas Eve when I was a kid) I was awake at 4:15am (bleh!), and showered and got dressed. Took the hotel shuttle to the airport and waited. The flight was (of course) delayed about 40 minutes, so we took off about 8:30. I landed in Chicago about 9:30 (using CST now) and found the Town Car (oooh!) that was there waiting on me. We drove in from Midway to the W Hotel (I saw Soldier Field and the Sears Tower on the way) and I was luckily able to go ahead and check in (GREAT room!) I called Managing Editor Stacy Collins from my room at about 10am. She sent her assistant, the lovely Julie, over to get me and walk me to the PB bldg.

Julie took me upstairs to the editing room." I met Kevin and Justin and several others (all of whom were VERY nice and friendly) and watched how they put together an issue. It was very interesting to see how each page is done. Then Stacy came up and said hi and told me all about the plans for the day. From there I got to see the Photo vault and the studios and the wardrobe room and all of the art hanging on the walls around the building (and I mean that...they have original works there that are worth much $$$) and really enjoyed it! I also met Executive Editor/Publisher Jeff Cohen (SUPER-nice guy). Then it was time to go to the photo shoot!! Stacy explained that I would be watching a cover shoot for an upcoming COLLEGE GIRLS issue with a brand new girl, Taryn Terrell.

Write that name down and remember it friends, because let me tell you, Taryn Terrell is going to be a star!! She is beautiful, gorgeous, and sweet as sugar!!  She looked incredible! I stayed out of the photogs' way and just sat in the back, watching and drooling. I ate lunch with them during break (I had Teriyaki Chicken) Her issue should be out around November, I think, and MAKE SURE YOU BUY IT!!

After some more time with Stacy and Jeff and the rest, I saw some more of the shoot and left about 4:30 to go back to the hotel and shower and change. Jeff Cohen picked me up about 6:30 and we picked up Taryn and headed to the Capitol Grille for dinner with Stacy. The food was delicious! I had lobster bisque with a sirloin steak and au gratin potatoes. After that, we went over to the party at Wrigleyville. It was a BLAST!! I got to sit in the VIP section (go, me!) The place was packedI mean, wall-to-wall people. I met Playboy models Jaime Hammer and Carlotta Champagne (both of whom are even more beautiful in person); Miss December 1982 Charlotte Kemp (a stunning lady), and Miss July 1982, the beautiful Lydia Weismeier, and had pics taken with all of them...which you can see on my pics page. I can't stress enough how friendly and nice everyone was! Also, the sexy DJ Roxanne Dawn spun the music and kept all the guys' eyes on her! The band was WEDDING BANNED and they rocked the house! So if you're ever in Chicago and have a change to see/hear Roxanne or WB, take it!

I was -really- winding down at that time, so I left and got back to the hotel about 1am. I fell asleep pretty quickly, and woke up JUST in time to get to the airport for my flight back to Baltimore.

So there you go. BEST. DAY. EVER. I thanked Stacy many, many times. ;-) She was just wonderful and made me feel welcome every minute of the day, even though they were trying hard to get work done!

Visit their websites:

http://www.jaimehammer.com/

http://www.carlottachampagne.com

http://www.weddingbanned.com/

http://www.charlottekemp.com/

Heres the flyer for the partyyes,  thats Roxanne on there (I told you she was hot!!)  http://www.playboy.com/specialeditions/imx/webflyer.jpg

If you've got any questions, just ask. And leave comments at will. Have fun!

So here it is, after midnight in the East, and I'm thinking of something to blog about. I think I'll make a list of some of my favorite websites for people to peruse. Some are to educate, some are to amuse, and some are to...waste time, really. Heh.

http://www.abebooks.com/  ABE books...a great place to find rare and out-of-print books

http://www.foxnews.com/  Catch up on the latest news here

http://www.imdb.com/  Find out all info about your favorite movies

http://www.tomatonation.com/  Sarah Bunting's website..hilarious!

http://www.tvshowsondvd.com/ Want to know when your favorite TV show will come to DVD? Check here!

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/ Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.

http://www.reason.com/  News and articles from a libertarian perspective

http://www.americanrugby.com/ Cool shirts! :)

http://www.steynonline.com/index.cfm Mark Steyn! The best pundit writing today!

http://survival-supply.com/ "Better to have and not need, than to need and not have"

http://www.moviesunlimited.com/musite/default.asp Lotsa good flicks here

http://www.breannmcgregor.net/home.html Breann McGregor; one of the most beautiful women in the world. (okay, this link probably isn't for everyone ;)

http://www.cafepress.com/rightwingstuff Cool t-shirts and collectibles from the right, baby!

http://www.bored.com/ The name says it all

http://www.notwithoutmyhandbag.com/babynames/ More complete hilarity!

http://www.groveatlantic.com/grove/bin/wc.dll?groveproc~genAuth~568~0 P.J. O'Rourke...fantastic writer and my political Godfather

http://www.anncoulter.com/cgi-local/welcome.cgi Ann Coulter...give 'em hell, Ann!

http://www.nationalreview.com/ the website of National Review magazine

http://www.youtube.com/ Most of you have seen this already, but still...

http://www.larrythecableguy.com/ Git-R-Done!

http://www.cfa-inc.org/ Citizens Flag Alliance

http://www.nra.org/ The Second Amendment is the one that guarantees retention of all the others

http://www.michellemalkin.com/ Michelle Malkin

Enjoy! =)

Now, I don't wanna get off on a rant here...

(What? Dennis Miller didn't trademark that line. As far as I know.)

...but I think the US of A has become a nation of whining, bitching, moaning, sourpussed, candy-@$$es. I am sick to death of beret-wearing, latte-sipping, Joan Didion-reading post-college kids sitting around and whining about how they can't get a job because of the "repressive Bush administration." Jee-zus. Maybe, just MAYBE I can't blame any employer for not hiring someone whose appearance would most likely induce either a) hysterical laughter or b) violent nausea in their customers. And it's not even just young people! There are almost as many graying (or balding) old hippies with ponytails and worn-out "Mondale '84" t-shirts with the same attitude.

The only reason I'm worked up about this is because the Japanese and Chinese are studying physics and engineering in the womb, while we are graduating too damn many English Lit majors who spend their time applying for NEA grants to make their independent film, all the while not being able to name the Secretary of State but think it's "totally cool" that the white-haired guy won "American Idol." 

Here's a word that gets a bad rap today, and it shouldn't: conformity. Now, I'm not advocating everyone wearing the same things, thinking the same things, looking the same, etc. But it seems to be common sense that a refusal to conform to even a basic level of societal standards would in fact WORK AGAINST YOU!

(We could help solve our dependence on foreign oil by 1) drilling in ANWAR, or 2) inventing a machine that would turn stupidity into electricity. It's plentiful, and God knows it's renewable. The population of Madison, Wisconsin alone could power the country for the next millennium.)

(I realize that I sound like a cranky old geezer. Not true! I don't even know HOW to geeze!)

 Here's some advice, young people...you can't be a barista at Starbucks or stock shelves at your local independent bookstore your entire life. Take out the nose ring, take the safety pin out of your lower lip (please), take off the CHE t-shirt, pull your pants up, and learn some proper English. It'll help you go further, trust me. Companies aren't concerned about your "freedom of expression." If you want, express yourself on the weekends by walking around in public wearing a thong and a viking helmet. Go nuts. But quit whining! If you choose to present yourself a certain way, the rest of the public reserves the right to laugh their collective keister off at you. Rules DO apply to you, whether you like it or not.

There we go. I feel better now.  

So why exactly would anyone want to read about a business trip to Seattle? I dunno. But I figure SOMEbody might. So here we go...

I had never been to Seattle before. Everything I knew about the place I learned from "Frasier" reruns. But the rumor is true. There is a frickin' coffee bar on every frickin' corner. I have no idea how anyone gets any sleep out there, since all of the inhabitants are apparently caeffeinated to the eyeballs 24/7.

I've never liked flying too much...on my very first flight in '97, the stewardess, bless her heart, asked me if I wanted a bigger barf bag. But I've done it enough now to where I'm okay with it. It was a long flight, on a BIG old Boeing Airbus. The movie was "Cheaper by the Dozen 2." Cute. I landed right on time at 7:30 Sunday night...at the very same time my luggage was landing in San Francisco. Maybe my suitcase wanted a separate vacation or something. I waited in the airport for two hours for my case, which of course never showed up. I filed a claim and was given a small bag with some stuff like shampoo, razor, toothbrush, etc. I then made my way via shuttle bus to the Sheraton in downtown Seattle. VERY nice place (I've never been in an elevator that had a button inside that said "earthquake." That's all it said--"earthquake." I was afraid to press it.) About 10pm by this time, and I'm starving. I order a hamburger from room service...just a hamburger, fries and a coke. THIRTY-TWO dollars. It was a -good- hamburger...had some nice mustard and all that...but it sure as heck wasn't $32 worth of good.

Come Monday morning, my case still hasn't arrived at the hotel. So I shave and shower and put my grungy flight clothes back on (I had a meeting to go to! What was I gonna wear? A sheet?) I got to the convention center a block away, and the convention was in full swing. A pic of the convention entrance can be seen in my pics section. 

I met a lot of good people (most of whom were smarter than me and had more degrees than a fahrenheit thermometer), but I won't bore you with that (and if you're not bored already, you need help). Downtown really is nice. I spent time in the Sharper Image store, the Fox Sports Grille, Barnes & Noble, etc. etc. I didn't get to the Space Needle, but I did see Mt. Ranier in the distance. More pix of downtown in my pix section.

My bag FINALLY arrived late Monday afternoon, allowing me to actually put on some clean clothes. I spent lots more $$$ on food (all of which was reimbursed...expense accounts rule!) and finally made it to Wednesday. The days really seemed to drag on out there. I guess because I was still on EST internally. I'd think it was like 6 or 7 o'clock, look at my watch, and it would be 2 in the afternoon. The flight back was also (thankfully) uneventful...the movie was "Last Holiday" starring (really) Queen Latifah. Also cute. The final flight back to PA left late (mechanical problems....aaaalways something you want to hear) and I arrived back about midnight, ready for another fun-filled day of work the next day.   

So there ya go.  It was kinda fun, and I wouldn't mind visiting again, but I really wouldn't fit in out there full-time. Thansk for reading!