Me sharing. Since I work at a video store (and watch porn, what single guy doesn't?) , my mind is always drifting off track and becoming corrupt with boredom which in turn creates interesting results in the form of movie renaming. So I just thought I'd share my perverted thinking to the masses. Here's a list of movies renamed into porn titles. Alot of these won't be mine, but some I might have heard of or watched through the years. But alot that I make up on the fly. I'm bored, sue me.
(*=movies I didn't make up)
Black Cock Down
Ball Street*
The Cockateer*
Poke-a-Hot-Ass
No Cum For Old Men
Harry Pooter and The Sorceror's Bone
Harry Pooter and The Chamber of Sweet Clits
Harry Pooter and The Prison's Ass Candy
Harry Pooter and The Gobbling of Ron's One-Eyed Weasel
Harry Pooter and The Horde of Pink Ass
Harry Pooter and The Well Hung Prince
Harry Pooter and She Deeply Swallows
Lord of the G-Strings*
Lord of the Cock Rings
Pink Throat: The Balls
Throbbing Plunder
Pirates: Curse of the Pink Pearl
Cum and Hummer
Hand'n'Cock
P.S., I Came on Your Pillow
Transboners
American Gangbang (*probably)
Fantastic 4 Way: Rise of the Silver Fluffer
Good Fuck Chuck
27 Assless Dresses
Semi-Blown
Temple of Poon*
Hard Rod
Mr GoodCock
The Master-baters
The Fanny Diaries
The "Fucked-It" List
Cum Man Dough
TitMan
Glad Her Ate Her
My Blue Ball Nights
Lick The Balls (deck the halls)
Be Kind, Reach Around (ugh, don't think i'd watch that)
The Cumbacks
National Pleasure
AVP: anal vs pussy
The Cunny Party
The Ass Invasion of Jesse Jane
The Golden Cum Purse
Be Cumming on Jane
There Will Be Blood: The Redwing Tales
The King of Dong: A Fist Full of Squirters
The Diving Belle and The Butt Guy
>added sept 16
Men In Back
Schindler's Fist
She-Man : Master of the Tranny-verse
Stop, Or My Mom Will Skeet
Made of Boner
The Sperminator
Alice Through the Hot Looking Ass
Charlie and The Fudge Packing Factory
Detroit Cock City
Big Trouble In Little Vagina
Showdown In Little Toki's Hole
Escape From Elle's A
House of the Debs

so went to the Dethklok show last at the Tabernacle and that show was sooooo hella brutal. i was thinking it was just gonna be a bunch of metalheads that watch cartoons just banging their heads and standing around, but that shit was nonstop violence, it was awesome. amazingly, i didn't get really hurt, only thing i have is some bruised up forearms and wrists and i bashed my knee on the ground when about 4 people fell and trapped my leg and i crashed down on my free leg's knee. i'm really glad i went.

early this morning, right after watching Lost, I was all "awww, Jin dies, so sad", but then dur’ it hit me that the date on his gravestone was the date of the Oceanic 815 crash. so apparently the Six told everyone that he died in the crash and not on the island, so it’s actually still possible that he stayed on the island for some reason. now i have another reason to keep watching, just gotta find out what makes Jin stay on the island or if he really does die. I’m realizing that I love shows where dying doesn’t really mean that character is gone, kinda like Angel. Look at Charlie, it was sad when he died but now he’s haunting Hurley. Ethan shows up in flashbacks. Still haven’t seen any of Echo since his polar bear attack. Anna Lucia is definitely not coming back. Was kinda glad when Shannon and her bro died cause they were kinda annoying. Also those two throw away characters that were buried alive because of that insect bite.
so yeah, can’t wait till next week’s episode to see what goes down. especially with michael back.
damn this season is actually starting to look like it might be back on track of what the first season was all about.

fanboy. :P

so, i went to the aiden/madina lake concert last night and had a great time. there weren't alot of people there but it was fun none the less. i keep thinking that i must have a seriously short memory span, because on the way up to the show, i kept thinking to myself "why do i even bother going to shows anymore, i'll just probably stand around and feel out of place again". but dur, i've always felt out of place at shows, even when i was a teenager. and i guess i must have been sort of accepted considering some random (big) guy just jumps on my back during the show like he wanted a piggyback ride. the "pit" for the show wasn't all that great since only like one other guy was full time committed to it. every time a pit did break out, it was dead within 20 seconds. but at least that gave time and space just to dance, which only me and some other guy (aiden fan) seemed to be doing (don't know if to count the full time pit guy, since he was "picking up change"). during aiden's set, they tried to do a "crawl" of death, but that didn't quite work out since alot of people didn't do what they were supposed to and stood up as soon as they kicked in. never had really heard aiden's music before last night, but they remind me of a not as good version of AFI or MCR (i'm not saying they are trying to be them, i'm just saying they remind me). madina lake was fun as hell though. it's so great to see them and dance around without having to breath in 5 pounds of dirt.
on my way out of the show, some streetteam guy handed me a sticker to idiotpilots and he told me about the band and then i told him about maximum the hormone. when i got home, i started looking around online and came across a heartbreak, one of my favorite bands (not just japanese favorites either) maximum the hormone played in the US this week. even though it was on the west coast, it was still in america. for about 4 nights, they were one of the opening acts for the dropkick murphys. how awesome would that be to see them in an "oy" setting, it would be insane and brutal.

had a really cool dream last weekend (at least to me anyway). in the dream, this guy attacks me at a concert at the masquerade. he punches me in the face and then i just destroy him. he goes downstairs to get a cop, but i'm right there telling the cop that "yes, i did beat him down" but since he's pressing charges that i'll press charges too. so i'm laying on the ground handcuffed and i look up into the sky and i can see every star and nebula in full bloom. it's like one of those high detail photos of some supernova. i can also see several space shuttles launching off into space and all i can think is that they are trying to escape because the world is about to end.

been watching a crap load of anime recently, just watched kerou phantom memory, sayanora zetsobou sensei, and 009-1. just finished downloading mime-ke (i think that's what it's called) and some samurai one and we're supposed to get the new appleseed today (yii-pee)

as you can see, i really don't care for grammar anymore. i'll throw a comma out in a heartbeat.

but I'm sure I was hallucinating. While drifting off to sleep last night, somewhere in between awake and sleeping, I had some nice imagery of me driving down the road and coming across some construction. For some reason, there was a dumptruck suspended above the street by a crane and for some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to drive under it. As soon as I was under it, the cable snapped and the truck crushes my car and I actually get this sensation of being crushed. It was a really strange feeling that I had to share. Kind of like the dreams where you're falling and right when you wake up, it feels like you really did just fall into bed.

It's just another week(end), but for some reason I felt happy for a minute. Beginning of the week was whatever, then Thursday night I got out and went to see Josh's band and then afterwards finally got to see Cloverfield which I wasn't disappointed by. Friday was freaking long as hell though. After leaving the Great Escape around 2:30 am, went home and changed for work at UPS and then went there and had to unload trailers the whole time (which I haven't done since before my surgery in August). Then at 7:30 am went home, took a shower, and went to Blockbuster. Friday sucked because it was like I was working by myself with Chuck being in the back doing computer stuff. Got home around 6pm and then I think I might have finally gone to sleep around 8pm.
    Saturday, oh what a day. First off, I overslept and didn't get to the store till 9:20 am. Which shouldn't have been a problem since I do that all the time, but I didn't notice until around 9:40 that whoever closed the night before didn't finish closing the computers down and it usually takes an hour for that to do and we open at 10am. By 9:55 I already had about 20 people waiting outside the store. So, the first 40 minutes that we're open, I'm having to write down all the transactions and the store is packed and I'm all by myself. The computers finally come up and my help arrives, but it's a borrowed employee from another store and when Chuck put him in the system, he added him as a regular customer and not as an employee. So I have to call and try to get someones password for him just so he can help and the line is now wrapped around the candy and behind the ice cream cooler and down the first aisle. I get him a password and we're off. From the moment I opened the doors until about 2pm, the store is non-stop packed and the line is all the way down the first aisle, but I was loving it. There has always been something about working non-stop, knowing what has to be done, and being able to only focus on the task at hand that makes me feel like I have at least a small purpose in this world, like I'm not totally worthless. I only got annoyed by maybe 1 customer the whole day and that was because she was a prick. Everyone else was completely awesome. I didn't have a complaint from anyone else that whole day even though I know that there were people in that line for almost 30 minutes or more. The only reason it stopped being packed was because when Chuck came in at 2, he immediately "closed" the store just until we cleared the store out, which was a good thing because I was worried about shoplifters the whole time. After getting off work, I just hung out for about 40 minutes at the plaza and then went home and watched movies until 5 am, then slept till 4 today and then hung out with the guys. So that's what I did this week(end) and the working part made me happy.

I thought I'd put some stuff up after getting a comment just last week. I don't know if people are just being funny or they're serious. There have been several times in my life where people have voiced something about me that is totally not true and I thought I might share some.
*I am not a "player". I've been single for almost 7 years now and have not dated or even so much have kissed a single woman in that period. People that don't know me that well at UPS have said certain things. And I remember one time when I was taking a high school picture, that the photographer tried to get me to smile by telling me to think of my girlfriend, I didn't have my first g/f till I was 22.
*I'm not pissed off all the time. I'm sorry I'm not smiling 24/7. I'm sorry my face naturally looks like I want to hurt someone. I actually think that people that smile all the time are fake as hell.
*I'm not a rascist. Just because I'm white and mean looking sometimes doesn't mean I'm a Nazi. Especially when I've had my head shaved and was wearing combat boots.
*I'm not gay. Just because I don't consider grinding crotches at a club a form of dance doesn't mean I don't like women. And I don't care what anyone says, Tigger is the shit. Have you seen how many times he fucked up the 100 Acres, he's hardcore.
*I don't hate God. I don't hate religion. I believe that it probably has done more good than evil. The hatred is more so for the evil people that use religion as their "get out of jail free" card. Ya know like my piece of shit ex-brother in law who used to beat my sister, but it's alright now cause he loves Jesus.
*I don't like every single Asian girl I see. My friends need to stop giving me that look everytime some Asian girl comes around. When I went to Japan, there were hundreds of Asian women, but I probably only noticed about 20 women that I thought were hot.
*Just because I don't listen to one form of music all the time doesn't mean I don't like it. I've had friends surprised when they heard me listening to a certain type of music. I like all forms of music.
*MY BIGGEST SECRET: I even like some country. I say that I hate country, but I like "You Don't Call Me Darling" and "Thunder Rolls" and some Dwight Yokam(sp?) and I think his name is Jim Reeves. I just don't go out of my way to listen to those. But every other country song I hear, my ears start to bleed.
*I'm not a bad ass. Just because I 6'4", used to take Taekwondo and can take a few punches to the face, doesn't mean I'll jump at every chance to fight. I really hate hurting people and will do everything not to fight, even make myself look like a complete punk. I really don't care what other people think of me in that respect.
*I don't do drugs. If it seems like I'm on something, it's probably because I've been awake for 2 days, haven't eaten lately, and I'm all jacked up on Mt. Dew.
*Just because I'm a Juggalo, doesn't mean I like other Juggalos. I love the wicked shit, but alotta times at shows juggalos just annoy the fuck outta me. Like that one that tried to start a fight with the old school scene shitkicker punks cause he thought they were skinheads, even though one kept saying he was jewish.
*I'm not rich. I'm quite poor. The jobs I have don't pay enough and I don't get enough hours at them. I'm also hella in debt because of all the work done on my cars from driving for Domino's and the dental bills from not having insurance and getting fillings and the such.
*I'm not a British, Scottish, Australian, French, or Irish national. It's funny as hell to make people think otherwise though. Like just slightly altering my voice thoroughly convinces rednecks that I'm one of those Brits. Or that old white couple in front of Sports Authority in Japan giving the  response "Fucking French" when I told them "bon soir".

So I never really make resolutions, but I'm thinking I should start setting goals for my self. This is more a reminder for myself cause I'll probably look back at this post later in the year. In no particular order:
**Get rid of all my extra stuff. (I've been trying for the past 6 years, but this is it. I don't know how I keep adding up all this extra crap all the time. I really want to cut down on material possessions.)
**Go clubbing more, so I can get more exercise and get back to as close as possible to my dancer physique.
**Play through at least one Japanese RPG to learn the language. At least to the point where I can read it (maybe not fully understanding, but at least reading).
**Pick up the guitar again.
**Go on an actual date. (God that means I have to actually talk to a woman.)
**Use UPS's Earn and Learn program to go back to school.
**Start studying French again. (It's retarded that I took it for 2 years and I only remember half the alphabet and a few phrases.)
**See Dave Matthews Band live.

Since I'm always getting into different bands periodically, I thought I'd start a post to share them. What I'll do is leave this block as an introduction and add bands in the comments with links and suggestions. Please feel free to expose me to new bands by adding your own comments and links.

hells yeah im blogging about tacos, cause they're just so damn awesome. i got a shot of giddyness today, cause after getting 45 bucks in trade-in at gamestop for 5 blu-rays that i got for free and then slapping that down for a presale of rock band for the ps3, i drove through the qt parking lot and saw a brand new taco bell being built. what that means is everytime i close, i can hit up taco bell without having to go up 75. bammm, its on the way home. mmmmmmm cheesy fiesta potatos. cruchy tacos. 1/2 pound beef and potato burrito. and qt is right in front of it so a 44oz of mt dew mixed with 1/5th coke. now all hudson bridge needs is a best buy and im moving into the townhomes across the way and never driving again.