The Guys' Rules

---------------------
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the
guys'
side of the story .( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules" From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!





1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
what
we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1.

Anyth ing we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
to
act like soap opera guys.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We
have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
nothing's
wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
Y ou
don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared! to
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round! IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
couch
tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like
camping.

50 reasons to love mass:

1.You think crosswalks are for wimps



2. You think if someone is nice to you that they either want something, or they are from out of town and lost



3. You know how to cross four lanes of traffic in five seconds



4. You're amazed when traveling out of town that people at McDonalds actually speak English



5. You think it's not actually tailgating unless you're touching the bumper of the car in front of you



6. You know that a yellow light means that at least five more people can get through and a red one means two more can



7. The transportation system is known as the "T"



8. You could own a small town in Iowa for the cost of your house



9. Subway is a fast food place



10. There are 24 Dunkin Donuts shops within 15 minutes of your house



11. When people talk about "The Curse Of The Bambino", you know what they're talking about, and believe it, too (well, at least you USED to)



12. You believe using your turn signals gives away your plan to the enemy



13. If you stay on the same road long enough, it eventually has three different names.



14. Someone has honked at you because you didn't peel out the second the light turned green



15. You have honked at someone because they didn't peel out the second the light turned green



16. All the potholes just add to the excitement of driving.



17. Stop signs mean slow down a little, but only of you want to.



18. Six inches of snow is considered a dusting.



19. Three days of 90 degree heat is definitely a "heat wave" and 63 degrees is "a little on the warm side"



20. You cringe everytime you hear some actor or actress imitate the "Boston Accent" on TV or in a movie...if you don't have it, then you're never going to get it, even if you were born here



21. At the ice cream shop, you call chocolate sprinkles "jimmies".



22. You can go from one side of town to the other in less than fifteen minutes and see at least fifteen losers you went to high school with doing the same thing they were doing when you saw them last



23. The person in front of you is going 70 MPH and you're cursing them for going too slow



24. You know how to pronounce towns like Worcester, Haverhill, and Cotuit



25. You know what they sell at a "packie"



26. You have never been to the Cheers bar



27. You've slammed on your brakes to deter a tailgater.



28. You still try to order curly fries from Burger King



29. You keep an ice scraper in your car all year round



30. You know at least three Tony's, one Vinnie, and a Frank



31. Paranoia sets in when you can't see an ATM or CVS



32. You've pulled out of a side street and used your car to block oncoming traffic so you can make a left



33. You've bragged about saving money at The Christmas Tree Shop



34. You know what a "regular coffee" is



35. You can navigate a rotary without a problem



36. You have been to Fenway Park



37. You refer to the New York Yankees as the 'evil empire'



38. You feel the rest of the world needs to drive more like you



39. When someone calls you a "masshole", you take it as a compliment



40. You use the words "wicked" and "good" in the same sentence



41. You know what a frappe is



42. Saint Patrticks Day is your second favorite holiday



43. You are proud to drink Sam Adams and think that the rest of the country owes Bostonians a thank you



44. You never say "Cape Cod"; you say "the cape"



45. You went to Old Sturbridge Village and Plymouth Plantation in elementary school



46. You can drive to the mountains and the ocean all in one day



47. You have a special place in your heart for the Worcester Firefighters



48. You know the Mass Pike is some strange weather dividing line



49. You almost feel disappointed when someone doesn't flip you off when you cut them off or steal their parking space



50. You actually get all of these jokes, AND pass them on!