So a while back I had a friend refer to life as a baseball game, and last night I had a friend refer to his love life like it was poker.....:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

   We got on the subject of love and like it was a game of cards... I say poker because he plays that all the time...

Here is how the conversation went:

  HIM: "I seem to get the good hands too late" 

  ME: "Maybe you get them too early, like when you aren't ready for them. (As in not ready for love). And that you didn't play that hand" 

   HIM: "Either that or I lost, and it happens a lot. I guess I just don't know how to play."

   ME: "It always takes time to learn how to play... I know that I'm still learning."

   HIM: "Well help is always good on that note."

After having this talk I got to thinking... AGAIN... Is love or life just one big game? If someone can think about it in terms of a game baseball and another in terms of a card game... Is that what it is, a game?

   Are we either winners or losers, or can there be an in between? Is there such a thing as an in between? And I'm not talking about a tie...

   I know that you can "lose" a love and you can "win" a love, but what's in that gap in the middle?

Honestly I don't know why I sat down to write this. I guess it was just something floating around in my brain today... I think a lack of sleep has something to do with it. But all I say is think this over. And let me know your answer. I'm now interested in my own randomness...

I'm tugging at my hair
I'm pulling at my clothes
I'm trying to keep my cool
I know it shows
I'm staring at my feet
My checks are turning red
I'm searching for the words inside my head

[pre-Chorus]
(Cause) I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it
Yeah

[Chorus]
If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I wanna blow you... away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Yes, I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say

[pre-Chorus]

[Chorus]

What's wrong with my tongue
These words keep slipping away
I stutter, I stumble
Like I've got nothing to say

[pre-Chorus]

Yes I'm wishing my life away with these things I'll never say
If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I wanna blow you...away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Yes, I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say
These things I'll never say

Why is it when one thing changes in your life everything else has to suck!!!!!?????  

Like when you break up with someone, everything is different not only in your love life, but every other part of your life also.

The songs that you used to love sound different, some you just don't want to listen to at all.

The smallest thing like passing a restaurant that you used to eat at a lot makes you sad.

Seeing another couple makes you feel a little left out. Even if it's just your parents, you miss having someone of your own to kiss.

You wake up in the middle of the night and realize that you're all by yourself.

You want to call the person when something really exciting happens, but you know that they probably don't care anymore.

The smallest/stupidest things make you wanna cry just because you can some how link it to them.

You don't have anyone to say good night to anymore.

You feel like you are all alone and don't know what to do.

OK, sorry this is kinda random and all, but I just had to get this stuff out of my head. 

Your Autobiography

Part 1: The Birth of You:

Were you a planned baby?: yes

Were you the first?: nope

Who was present at your birth?: mom, dad, my sister, god parents

Were your parents married when you were born?: yes

What is your birthdate?: 9/24/87

Part 2: The Family

How would you describe your family?: Big family, really close and loving, the usual sister fights, but not as many anymore.

Are your parents married? yes

Siblings or an only child?: 1 older sis

If you have siblings are you oldest, middle, or youngest?: I am the youngest

What are your siblings names and ages?: Melisa shes 27

Which parent do you get along with best?: dad

What do you fight about?: nothing really anymore

Do you have step parents?: no

Part 3: The Friends

Do you have more than one best friend?: kinda

Who are your best friends?: Ash, Jera, Jake

What do you like to do when you are together?:  Jera and I get CRAZY when we get to see eachother, Ash lives in Alabama, Jake is my boyfriend.

Do you share the same interests?: Some

Which friend can you tell anything to?: ALL

Part 4: Your Personality

How high/low is your self esteem?: Its gotten higher.

Are you happy?: Most of the time

Do you live life to the fullest?: i try to

Part 5: Appearance

Are you comforable with the way you look?: yes

Do you have any piercings besides your ears?: yes

Describe your hair.: shoulder length brown

What make-up do you wear?: eyeliner, mascara, eye shadow some times

How do you dress?: jeans and a shirt

Part 6: The Past

Were you a strange child?: not really. normal I guess

What did you use to love that you no longer do?: My little pony, and Barbies

Do you have the same friends?: some in Humboldt

Was there anything in your past that was traumatizing?: Yes

Part 7: The Future

What is your ambition?: To be a good wife, a wonderfull mother

Are you scared of growing old?: not really

Do you want to get married?: yes!

Part 8: The Outdoors

Do you prefer indoors or outdoors?: Outdoors

What is your favorite season: summer

Do you like walking in the rain?: all the time

Part 9: Food

Are you a vegentarian?: nope

What is your favorite fruit?: pine apple

What food makes you want to gag?: mushrooms, asparagas

What is your favorite dessert?: strawberry cheese cake

What is your favorite restaurant?: Mazatis, Itialian restaurant in Eureka

Are you a fussy eater?: kinda

Part 10: Relationships and Love

Are you single or taken?: Taken

If taken who is the lucky guy/girl?: Jake

Do you think love is the best feeling in the world?: not a far as I can see.

Do you believe in love at first sight?: Not as much as infatuation at first sight

Part 11: Experiences

What was one of your greatest experiences?: being given a second chance

What was one of your worst?: not having my family and close friends around me

Have you ever done drugs?: I think everyone has

Have you ever thought you were going to die?: yes

Have you ever suffered from depression? Yes

1. Who is the last person you held hands with?
Jake

2. If you were drafted into a war, would you survive?
hopefully

3. Do you sleep with the TV on?
no. radio

4. Have you ever drank milk straight out of the carton?
yes

5. Have you ever won a spelling bee?
Nope

6.Who is the last person you text?
Jake

7. Are you a fast typer?
not really

8. Are you afraid of the dark?
nope

11. When is the last time you chose a bath over a shower?
yesterday

12. Do you knock on wood?
now and then

13. Are you drinking anything right now?
no

14. Who is someone you can count on?
my family and friends

17. What do you want for Christmas?
Hell if I know...Its only April

18. Do you know the muffin man?
no

19. Do you talk in your sleep?
sometimes

21. Have you ever flown a kite?
yep

22. When was the last time that you went swimming and where?
i dont remember

23. Do you consider yourself successful?
kinda

24. How many people are on your contact list of your cell phone?
too many to count

25. Have you ever asked for a horse?
probably when I was little

26. Plans for tomorrow?
drive home from sac

27.what is your middle name & why?
Maye, Grandma and Great Grandma's middle name. one spelled it May the other Mae

28. Missing someone right now?
yes, my best friend, but she's on her way home from Vegas....

29. When is the last time you told someone you loved them?
a few minutes ago when I was on the phone with my dad

31. How are you feeling today?
kinda sick, but pretty good other wise

33. Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school?
suspended

34. What are you looking forward to?
going into the Coast Guead

35. Have you ever crawled through a window?
oh yes...many times

37. Have you ever eaten dog food???
when I was a kid.

38. Can you handle the truth?
if you cant your a pansy

39. Do you like green eggs and ham?
sure

40. What 3 things you always bring with you to places?
keys, cell, purse

41. Any cool scars?
not really. I do have a few from drumb drunkn nights

42. Do you like or have a crush on anyone?
Jake

43. Who was the last person you kissed?
Jake

45. How often do you talk on the phone?
A lot

46. Do you believe in love?
I donno

47. Is there something you want that you can't have?
yes

48. Things of girls that guys look for.
??? what?

50. Who did you last Hug?
Jake

52. Where is your phone?
in the kitchen

53. What was the last thing you ate?
Taquitos last night

54. Favorite Color?
pink, brown, green, blue, black and red

55. Last movie you saw?
Lake House or Rumor has it...cant rememer

56. What song are you currently listening to?
nothing

57. What do you want?
a lot of things

59. What are you watching?
nothing

60. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
my dad
repost as 1. Who is the last person you held hands with?
Jake

2. If you were drafted into a war, would you survive?
hopefully

3. Do you sleep with the TV on?
no. radio

4. Have you ever drank milk straight out of the carton?
yes

5. Have you ever won a spelling bee?
Nope

6.Who is the last person you text?
Jake

7. Are you a fast typer?
not really

8. Are you afraid of the dark?
nope

11. When is the last time you chose a bath over a shower?
yesterday

12. Do you knock on wood?
now and then

13. Are you drinking anything right now?
no

14. Who is someone you can count on?
my family and friends

17. What do you want for Christmas?
Hell if I know...Its only April

18. Do you know the muffin man?
no

19. Do you talk in your sleep?
sometimes

21. Have you ever flown a kite?
yep

22. When was the last time that you went swimming and where?
i dont remember

23. Do you consider yourself successful?
kinda

24. How many people are on your contact list of your cell phone?
too many to count

25. Have you ever asked for a horse?
probably when I was little

26. Plans for tomorrow?
drive home from sac

27.what is your middle name & why?
Maye, Grandma and Great Grandma's middle name. one spelled it May the other Mae

28. Missing someone right now?
yes, my best friend, but she's on her way home from Vegas....

29. When is the last time you told someone you loved them?
a few minutes ago when I was on the phone with my dad

31. How are you feeling today?
kinda sick, but pretty good other wise

33. Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school?
suspended

34. What are you looking forward to?
going into the Coast Guead

35. Have you ever crawled through a window?
oh yes...many times

37. Have you ever eaten dog food???
when I was a kid.

38. Can you handle the truth?
if you cant your a pansy

39. Do you like green eggs and ham?
sure

40. What 3 things you always bring with you to places?
keys, cell, purse

41. Any cool scars?
not really. I do have a few from drumb drunkn nights

42. Do you like or have a crush on anyone?
Jake

43. Who was the last person you kissed?
Jake

45. How often do you talk on the phone?
A lot

46. Do you believe in love?
I donno

47. Is there something you want that you can't have?
yes

48. Things of girls that guys look for.
??? what?

50. Who did you last Hug?
Jake

52. Where is your phone?
in the kitchen

53. What was the last thing you ate?
Taquitos last night

54. Favorite Color?
pink, brown, green, blue, black and red

55. Last movie you saw?
Lake House or Rumor has it...cant rememer

56. What song are you currently listening to?
nothing

57. What do you want?
a lot of things

59. What are you watching?
nothing

60. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
my dad
repost as 60 honest questions

The rules are: Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird random things, facts, or habits about yourself. At the end, you choose 5 people to be tagged, list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" on their profile and tell them to read your latest blog. Oh and reply to this with your list so I get to see your answers.  So Ashley, Amber, Melissa Jane, Jera and Jason you've been tagged... your IT!

1.I wanted to marry a guy I was dating in high school

2.I am scared shitless of the ocean, yet I am going into the Coast Guard.

3.I can't sleep for shit when I am sleeping alone.

4.If I am sick or hurt, I still want my mommy!

5.My dad is my best friend.

6.I love to make fish faces when I go to the pet store.

7.I hate hights, yet the one thing I want to do before I die is to go sky diving

8.When I was little I was actually a blond.

9.I hate scary movies

10.I LOVE watching the Gilmore GIrls.

A True Boyfriend Would...

-Hug her dont make her hug you .

- Sneak up behind her

- Grab her by the waist

- tell her shes beautiful

- tell her she has amazing eyes

- when your friends walk by say this is my girlfriend

- Say i love you to her face not over the phone or myspace

- if shes sad take her in your arms and tell her everything will be okay

- kiss her on the forehead

- when you walk with her walk slowly.

- Tickle her even when she says stop

- Dont say i love you Unless you Mean It.

When a girl bumps into your arm
while walking she wants
you to hold her hand

When she wants a hug
she will just stand there

When u break a girls heart,
she still feels it when
u run into each other 3 years later

When a girl is quiet,
millions of things are running through her
mind.

When a girl is not arguing,
she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with eyes full of
questions,
she is wondering how long you will be
around.

When a girl answers, "I'm fine, " after a
few seconds,
she is not at all fine.

When a girl stares at you,
she is wondering why you are so
wonderful.

When a girl lays her head on your chest,
she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a girl says that she can't live
without you,
she has made up her mind that you are
her future.

When a girl says, "I miss you, "
no one in this world can miss you more
than that

When a girl is mean to you after a breakup
she wants you back, but she's
scared she'll get hurt and knows
you're gone forever