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Matthew P. Nicholson

Matthew Nicholson


Last Updated: 11/19/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Single
Age: 28
Sign: Sagittarius

City: Leeds
State: Northeast
Country: UK
Signup Date: 1/4/2007

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February 4, 2009 - Wednesday 

Current mood:  awake
Category: News and Politics

I will start by saying I am not a big TV watcher generally, but I decided to
switch on for BBC2 ‘s  Horizon programme,  Cannabis: The Evil Weed?
shown on Tuesday 3rd February. After previously seeing some interesting and
informed arguments about mental health related illnesses I felt relatively
confident of more of the same. The sub heading asked ‘Can cannabis cause
schizophrenia? Is it addictive? Or is it an undervalued medicine?’ I sat back
with an interest waiting to discover the results of their findings.

A few minutes of historic fact fumbling at the start of the show took the
viewer to a remote mountain region in Kazakhstan being described as the
birthplace of the cannabis plant. Other theories about the origins of Cannabis
were briefly touched on and I began to wonder at what point they would mention
Hemp and the numerous values of the plant. http://www.rso.cornell.edu/hempsociety/index.html

I found it incredible to hear Cannabis being described as being on the
planet for over 4,ooo years and yet the historical information provided lasted
around eight minutes.

There was a swift change of pace as the direction now seemed to focus on the
condemnation of the use of the drug detailing the potential dangers to anyone
who uses it. I started to see clearly how the BBC were beginning to push their
agenda and the voice of the government was clear and strong in their anti
cannabis stance. There seemed to be no effort to mention the benefical effects
of using the drug as a medicine to treat an array of illnesses. With so much
information readily available the researchers would have had an easy task in
bringing the information to light. http://www.medicalmarijuanablog.com/

I agree with the viewpoint that regular cannabis use in young adults between
the ages of 10-15 could potentially lead to schizophrenia or psychosis. I also
hold the opinion that the same age bracket regularly using alcohol could cause
liver damage or lead to alcoholism. If this age bracket is exposed to such
things when the body is still developing, their powers of resistance are far
less than if they were in their late teens or older. The risks would most
likely be greater and far more harmful as a result. This seemed a valid point
to mention, but obviously not where the BBC wanted to take the argument. After
all a legal drug can surely not be placed in comparative terms with a dirty
harmful illegal one like cannabis.  The picture was becoming increasingly
darker.

The true effects of the drug were wheeled out via the stories of three
individuals who have all apparently smoked cannabis at some point. There was
the token pro smoker who was as articulate in his representation of his usage
as a deaf mute in a karaoke competition. The depth of his argument for it was
to say smoking a joint was like getting into a warm bath and that it was better
than sex. He explained that he would get home from work smoke a joint and feel
relaxed, smoke another and feel more relaxed and then another and….you get the
smoky image.

Next came a man who was seemingly a victim to the drug; a long term addict
who was trapped in a life he hated because he started smoking cannabis years
ago and was the only one of his friends who could not give it up. He described
his life as being like groundhog day; getting up and smoking a joint after a
morning cuppa, with the process continuing through the day and then more of the
same at night with a few glasses of wine. He declared that he would sometimes
go out for a walk but his life was ultimately the same each day. Questions came
to me as I wondered, does he work? How can he afford to smoke weed day and
night with the addition of wine each night too?

My suspicions were already raised when it became evident this guy was more
likely a paid actor rather than the victim he was being represented as. It
showed him smoking a joint which after seventeen years of smoking all day every
day and night was the most pathetic looking joint I have ever seen. Clearly
this was not the technique of a long term pot smoker, but someone asked to
‘skin up’ on camera before smoking with a sad, forlorn expression on his face.
A few moments later and he turned to face the camera for the poignant scene
where he stated he would feel better if the camera crew left his home so he
could ‘skin up’ and smoke a joint. He asked if they could come back in half an
hour and he would be better then. A moment later he was laid down on the sofa
smoking a joint anyway. Clearly this was done for dramatic effect. This all
came after he had been filmed rolling and smoking another joint.

It seems unlikely he was suffering anything of the condition he whinged
about. If he really was addicted and couldn’t face the prospect of the real
world or how to cope in it as he stated. Why would he not seek medical help? If
he was not working he would have to at least sign on once a fortnight to
receive state benefit. I doubt he would have been able to con a penny out of
the pot if he wasn’t looking for work over a seventeen year period. If he was
on incapacity or disability living allowance he would have been found out
easily if his excuse for not being able to work was a cannabis addiction. He
would have been laughed out of the place. With the prospect of receiving no
state benefit how else would he be able to fund regular drug use? The only
possibility left open would be that he may well be dealing cannabis himself,
which if that is true it begs the question should he be biting the hand that
feeds him?

The last story detailed a young man who began smoking the drug at an early
age and a few years later began to hear voices which caused wide ranging
behavioural changes in his personality. His parents commented there was no
history of mental illness in the family so they could only attribute his
condition to his cannabis use. Medical professionals had prescribed a vast
array of pills to try to control his psychosis while telling him he would most
likely be taking the medication for the rest of his life. A great example of
how to throw a large dose of fear into the patient who has gone against the
wishes of the system by taking one of the drugs not peddled by the government
under the socially accepted bracket of good legal drugs.

In truth the programme ran as an anti drugs party political broadcast
representing only one real aspect of the argument. It seems some one sided
opinions can be aired on the BBC network when the message is beneficial to the
rich and greedy. It makes a mockery of the BBC’s excuse for not airing an
emergency appeal for Gaza on 28th January ‘on the grounds that it would
jeopardise their neutrality’ when this kind of propaganda is allowed to be
shown. A few days after that appeal was refused to be aired and the
advertisements began to run for Red Nose Day, an entire night of impartiality
when a host of celebrities help to raise money for an appeal shown exclusively
on BBC.

The controversy surrounding the BBC continues to emerge, but it is not the
comedic offerings of over paid celebrities to be blamed for the content;
instead the bosses who decide which causes or arguments to back, based on which
brings the highest financial reward. The BBC sadly continues to behave like a
cheap whore catering to every demand of their biggest punter,  the
government every time a sweaty wad of cash is flashed before them.







Currently listening:
I Started Out With Nothin And I Still Got Most Of It Left
By Seasick Steve
Release date: 2008-09-29
November 30, 2008 - Sunday 

Category: Writing and Poetry

It took some time to realise

That changes need to come

Sick of standing silently

Emotions going on the run.

A fire burns inside me

Although my face is pale

My pain is self inflicted

This is not a pity tale.

 

Seeking out the answers

To questions of the mind

Frustration every corner

My journey is ill timed.

I know the truth

The path is clear

Temptations lead me to

Another wasted year.

 

Now is the moment once again

Knowing things must change

I've said and heard it all before

Turn yet another page.

I hope with all I'll ever be

The horizon will be bright

I'll try to be a better man

By following the light.


Copyright © 2008 Matthew P. Nicholson

May 27, 2008 - Tuesday 

Category: Blogging

I hold both my hands directly up in the air when I admit it has been a few months since my last blog. I have neglected it somewhat, but only in attempts to send my work to other outlets to try to reach more people. I have always had the intention to return to this blog and it has been frustrating to take so long to get back here.

It has been a little over a year since my first blog here and I cannot believe so much has changed in that time. Before posting for the first time I was terrified how it would be received, if at all. I was lacking confidence and consumed with self doubt. I look back now and laugh as I find myself a great distance away from the negativity of that dark period and reside in a happier, lighter one.

I would very much like to thank everyone personally for reading and commenting over the last year, but it would take too long. I hope instead that those who do read this will know just how much I appreciate their continued support and kindness. I would never have made it this far had I not connected with the people out there. Thanks again.

As things stand I am filled with ideas for new material, but as I have come this far I have decided to go a little further and get my work in print. I have been extensively researching costs to get my first poetry collection completed having initially considered approaching the vast array of poetry publishers in the hope my work was seen in a favourable light. After wading through hundreds of potential publishers I realised the quickest way would be to self publish. With that in mind I have been searching for the best deals available for this venture due to very limited finances.

I have found a locally based printers who use recycled paper and appear to be the most environmentally friendly option available to me. I will be contacting them this week to try to thrash out some ideas and to get a quote.

I have a selection of poems already decided on for the collection and hope to add some new previously unseen pieces in there too. I just have to get on and write them first before they can be in contention for print.

I have an idea of the number of copies for a print run but would be very grateful if those interested in purchasing a book could let me know, if for nothing else so I can estimate roughly how many copies I will need in the first instance. It is still early and there are details needing to be ironed out, but hopefully I will be listing the book in the £5-£8 range if I can get the printing done within budget.

Other than that I had recently been approached by a new locally produced magazine to contribute to their June Issue (2nd issue). I am delighted to reveal my submission was successful as it will be included in the upcoming issue. Although the magazine offers no payment at the moment, I am hopeful as its appeal grows within the city, there will be more opportunity to contribute and be paid. I will include further details when I have them about inclusion in the magazine as soon as I have confirmation of the date.

That is all I have to update you all with at the moment, but as things happen I will include them here. I will also be getting down to writing some new poetry as soon as I possibly can and will be posting them here also.

Peace

Matthew P. Nicholson

May 7, 2008 - Wednesday 

Current mood:  pissed off
Category: Writing and Poetry

I'm walking through woodland

As the sun shines through the trees.

Taking pleasure from the crunch of feet

On twigs and fallen leaves.

 

But suddenly the air was blackened with hosility.

A stench of anger carried strong,

OY SMACKHEAD!

I hear called out to me.

 

Continued verbal insults growing stronger, louder.

Pace quickening, heart racing my feet still marching on

Don't run I thought, don't fucking run.

OY SMACK HEAD! I hear again, behind me to my left.

 

DON'T WALK AWAY FROM ME!

DON'T FUCKING WALK AWAY FROM ME!

I hear again, behind me to my right.

It sounded close how close where they?

 

Don't turn around I thought

Don't fucking turn around.

How many were there?

Don't run, don't turn, stay calm!

 

OY SMACKHEAD! I hear once more

And a snap of twigs being stamped on

Their pace quickening

Closing the gap on me.

 

Then a crash as something bounces

Off the ground in front of me.

A brick. They threw a fucking brick

Another and another crashing by my feet.

 

Finally I reach the path

And now I start to race.

No more sound of breaking twigs

I panic, turning round.

 

To see a group of seven men,

Tear-arsing after me

With bricks in hand

And evil on their faces.

 

It's about safety now.

Don't look back

Just run, keep fucking running

Forward, down a slope, away.

 

I see the road and now

I look back, still running

Heart racing, adrenalin pulsating

Frustrated and shaken.

 

I see their faces,

Looking down at me.

From the slope

Laughing.

 

© Matthew P. Nicholson 2007

January 31, 2008 - Thursday 
 

I remember the day so clearly

A teenage boy before your eyes

You handed out a life sentence

Force feeding me your lies

 

Chemical imbalance

These pills will make things right

Trusted trained professional

Adding pressure to my plight

 

It's funny though as I recall

I came to you with stress

You handed me the big bad D

And left me in a mess

 

Never ending medicated me

Poisoning body and soul

You said I'd always suffer

Eight years my life you stole

 

How many times did I say no?

Each time with greater force

Your response ever predictable

Prescribe more drugs of course

 

Then came the psychologist

Who didn't know my name

Hand in hand with Dr Death

Lies given where the same

 

Your story never seemed to fit

But I had no strength to fight

Why challenge qualified opinion

How could you not be right?

 

Through age and experience

Solutions came to me

Then began the vital quest

To regain my sanity

 

Depression is still rising

More cases every day

New unsuspecting victims

Believing what the doctors say

 

 

Copyright Matthew Nicholson 2008

January 30, 2008 - Wednesday 

Category: Writing and Poetry

 

Complicate my life if you wish

It won't keep me from my path

Continuing on peacefully

As I sing and dance and laugh.

Your rules will not defeat me

Fuck you and your control

Stake claims upon my body

But you'll never take my soul.

The hamster wheel of life rolls on

Don't get caught in the spin

Deny the truth inside you

And the lies will all flood in.

The system wants to break you

And make you walk in line

Dictating the terms of freedom

With the illusion of time

 

Copyright Matthew Nicholson 2008

January 30, 2008 - Wednesday 

Category: Writing and Poetry

 

I just woke from a nightmare

A view of things to come

Captured by the authorities

After going on the run.

 

Appearing in a darkened room

Bound were my hands and feet.

Gag in mouth, light in my eyes

Trapped in a dentist seat.

 

A hollow voice announced to me

"This will not hurt a bit

We implant this tiny device

To control as we see fit"

 

Though it may have been a bad dream

For how long remains unclear

With manipulated world events

How long before it's here?

 

 

Copyright Matthew Nicholson 2008

January 18, 2008 - Friday 

Current mood:  peaceful
Category: Writing and Poetry

 

Stay away from me

Inventors of blasphemy

Designers of lust

Manifestor's of trust

Fear mongering riders

Rule making deciders

Interplanetary makers

And industry fakers

Deliverers of lies

Who what where and whys

I'm not here for the taking

So now steps I'm making

The knowing inside me

Is the way I will be free

To remove and reject fear

Infinite love belongs here

 

Copyright Matthew Nicholson 2008

December 31, 2007 - Monday 

May each and every one of you remember the year that has been, both the good times and bad. Embrace the new year and the start of a new cycle.

May all the mistakes that have been made be left behind you, and the experiences of challenges overcome stay with you and give you strength with each step you take along your path this coming year.

Be positive and know that anything is possible and you can achieve anything.

I want to say a big thank you to all the new friends I have met, the old ones I have continued to be in contact with and those who I have found again through this site.

I also want to say a big thank you to all those who have read and/or commented on the blogs I've posted here in the last year.

 

THANK YOU

I would like to wish every one of you the happiness and peace that you all deserve within yourself and within your life.

Much Love to you and those near to you.

Happy New Year

Matt

xxx

December 29, 2007 - Saturday 

Category: Blogging

Oh well that's it folks another Christmas time has come and gone. Was it special for you all in whichever way you chose or were forced to celebrate it, or not? I genuinely hope that there are some happy and contented people out there, with happy tales of fun, laughter and good times shared with family, friends or strangers. I fully appreciate that there will be many who had a shit time of things. This is clearly an unfortunate event. All I can say to those who experienced it is oops. I'm not being funny or anything like that, believe me. I will ask those who had a bad time if it was due to the same Christmas routine just like every other year? If so, maybe next year you should do it differently, perhaps. For all those who say every year "I'm sick of all the unnecessary stress of it all. Next time I'm going to fuck off to Spain for a week." Why don't you?

Obviously it is out of the way now as the sales have started. Yes that's right the material madness begins again in force with sales advertised with up to 90% off. WOW that's fucking brilliant you may say, think, believe and act upon, but be careful to consider why such sales are taking place before you overspend. Reports continued to spread across the media detailing how all the retailers are suffering like never before, with shoppers spending less and less, these however vanished just before Christmas began.

Some retailers had taken the steps to begin their sales online on Christmas Day. I can think of nothing more festive than that. Can you? Oh sorry I have just recalled an advert I witnessed on the TV around Christmas, the familiar song and tune could be heard to "I'm walking in the air." There was the little boy with the snow man and I felt a warm feeling inside, waiting to see when the animated classic would be shown. It brought back memories of childhood and the magical time of Christmas. Wait a minute, what the fuck is this? Oh of course, silly me. I should have realised the connection between The Snowman and Iron Bru. I chose not to watch much telly after that after seeing first Paddington Bear being pimped out for Marmite or some other shit and now the snowman. I wonder who will be next; perhaps Thomas the Tank Engine pushing alcopops, Bob the Builder offering consolidation loans and accident claims, or The Tweenies selling Tampax. It's a real selling point. Maybe they should go all out and have Postman Pat spouting off about where you can buy cheap fucking heroine. What the fuck is going on when this kind of shit can be allowed or encouraged.

Back to the sales then and on that subject I was shocked again when HSBC ran an advert on TV about a sale they are currently having. Hmm what are they selling exactly? What is their product? Debt! It would appear that it is now even cheaper at that particular bank to get into debt than before. Good to see them getting into the seasonal spirit. What with sales at the bank and up to 90% off in retail outlets what more can we possibly want? Oh hang on I suspect something underhand maybe going on...no probably just me then.

I fully expect record figures of customer spending to be announced at any point during the next fortnight. One hell of a way to get people to spend when they had been doing the exact opposite in the Christmas build up. I for one will not be buying a fucking thing from anywhere or anyone unless I need it, and as I only really need to buy stuff like food and drink, I cannot foresee any crazy purchases taking place at any time soon. I truly hope that there are not too many out there who have fallen into the trap too deeply, but if you have, do yourself a favour and take the shit back that you don't need and start the New Year without self inflicted worries and mounting debts. Now where the hell did I leave that receipt for the Flat screen?

Currently listening:
Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band
By The Beatles
Release date: 15 July, 2002