man i havent wrote a blog in forever....but to everyone who called or texted me or imed me...and wished me a happy birthday i just wanna say thankz...even though i didnt really have a good day...i still do appriciate it...well lets see.....ive been in a better mood cause i no longer work at that hell hole...for all of yall who dont know me....im talkin bout kohls...i just got a new job at tha Alexandria City Jail....doin recordz....i freakin luv it...i couldnt be much happier...i got away from all tha drama...i hope i dont see any of yall in there...haha...cause all i would pretty much do is laugh at your dumb ass...but tha people i work with are great....they make me laugh and keep me entertained...plus they even bought me 3 balloons and a cheesecake ...and ive been there for what 2 weeks...

anyways enough bout that....

denise this is to you...:

you are tha best friend anyone could ever ask for...you have always been there for me through everything...all tha times ive kept you up cause i just couldnt stop cryin and worryin bout stupid shyt...theres not enough thanks in this world that could express how much you truely do mean to me...yea ive said ive had best friends in tha past....but from tha bottom of my heart...no one has ever been better than you...we have soo many good times that i will never forget...like "thats alot" only a few people would get it....but that shyt made me laugh for a good 20 min...you kno...but tha whole situation with whats his name and tha other whats his name....lets just not worry bout it anymore...they made us change and even if thats tha only thing that came out of tha whole situation at least we can say we bettered ourselves....though it never seemed like we did...i cant tell you enough how much i want you to move back up here....but i just wanted to give you a lil shout out cause youre tha best...and clearly thats obvious....i dont know what i would have done without you...youre tha only one that could half way keep me sain....hehe...

and to those who just stopped talkin to me....(not mentionin any names) thank you...thank you for provin that i dont need any fake people in my life...it just proves that i can live without yall...yea people go their seperate ways....but not tha way we did...oh well...i have tha best friends....TRUE best friends that i can count on to be there for me...even if they arent just a few minutes away from me...kinda sad that theyre tha best friends ive had and they arent even livin next to me...i have tha only friends i really need...ill do just fine wit them...enough bout that shyt...

I stole diz from Denise....thankz chica....

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. 
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve
then heck no, you can't "be friends."  A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself
a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant,
Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything.  He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior.  Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
Oh Lord!  If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about
baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists
of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and your
always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Share this with other ladies..... You'll make someone SMILE, another
RETHINK her choices, and another woman PREPARE.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate
them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.
 
Pass this on to at least 10 woman and 5 men.
 
BY THE WAY, THIS WAS WRITTEN BY A MAN, SO TAKE A HINT..............

soooo....yea...me n kels decided to go to tha beach for a day or whaeva juzz to get away....pluz i aint have to work....sooooo we wake up at 5:30 n tha mornin n get ready n pack n shyt....den we leave round 7...we get to ocean city round 10....den we decide to go shoppin....soooo we drive anotha 40 min....go shoppin....den decide we aint want to do nothin elze cauze we waz too tired....soooo we come baq to our houze or whaeva....den go to sleep fo like 5 hourz....hehe den wake up....go eat....kels wanted ribz or something....but dey brought her out a steak..lmfao she waz pizzed....sooo den we get baq to tha houze....n derez NO cable.....but we kne dere waznt cable cauze derez no point of payin fo cable if no one iz dere for like 8 monthz or whaeva....so kels brought her dvd playah....well....tha dayum tvz were too old...soooo we couldnt hook up tha dvd playah to dem....sooo we waz sittin round lookin at each otha...den decide to drive to walmart...(which iz 40 minutez away)...well we got dere at like 10:15...n realized dey were clozed....wha fuccin walmart clozez at 10:15....we were sooo blown...sooooo we ended up doin nothin...den diz mornin we woke up....got ready packed all of our shyt...den left.....well smart Kels...forgot to take tha DVD playah off tha top of my car....but we aint realize it...well dere waz a cop dere n he turned on hiz lightz....but i aint kno he waz doin dat for me to pull ova....sooo i kept goin...den tha cop getz out hiz car....pickz up tha dvd playah...den speedz to pull me ova....datz when kels realized her dvd playah fell off tha top.....sooooo tha cop waz like uhh herez your dvd playah...i waz like uhhh thankz...he waz like people were beepin and tryin to get yo attention...den sayz...wha were yall in a deep talk or some shyt like dat...lol...well den he azked for my driverz licenze....soo i gave it to him...n waz like am i goin to get a ticket n he waz like no.....soooo yea....thankz kels....but tha dvd playah stratched my car a lil bit...n a piece of paint fell off....but datz ok....:(...but yea we still had fun...

well.....letz see.....my weekend went ok i guezz...friday i had to work til 11:30....den i came home to find fat azz hea....or w/e....she waz ova my houze high az shyt or whaeva...she waz sleep n her car out front soooo i got out my car....n punched her window n scared tha shyt outta her.....den we decided to go to wendyz...n i told diz bitch to hold tha drinkz....she doeznt soooo fuccin fruit punch spilled all ova my car....sooo i kicked tha dum bitch out n made her walk home...den i threw her drink at tha baq of her car.....imma bitch...hehe...

but yea.....i also realized....dat all dudez....iz ASSHOLES.....ladies dont believe deze stupid azz men....dey juzz say wha ya wanna hear.....dont fall for it....ive been hurt soooo many timez from stupid assholes....none of deze men iz worth it....and thankz....YOU KNO WHO YOU ARE....for hurtin me.....

wow.....i wouldnt think that i would be sayin diz sooo soon....im like honezt to god sooo fuccin hurt....and guezz wha he dont even seem to care....wha a fuccin surprize....i dont understand how you can fuccin hurt me in tha WORZT way pozzible den get mad at me for cryin cauze im in sooo much pain...hez too selfish to see my side of the situation....This iz a perfect example....of when i say...promizez mean nothin....sorry meanz nothin....i dont think anyone haz ever hurt me n diz way....eva.....something bout diz time iz different....i cant say dat he doeznt care at all.....hiz actionz juzz completly show dat he iz a no good "MAN"....how can someone look me in tha face for a long time and dey luv me and care...knowin dayum well dey dont....i even still have proof dat showz you said.....im different.....i wont hurt you....Yea you are different but not in a good way.....i cant see how people can look me n tha face and juzz fuccin lie...i juzz dont get it....i honeztly believe that people....are goin to be tha reazon of my death.....im juzz goin to go crazy...cauze i can only take sooo much.....im juzz goin to be gone...den 1 day people will realize how much shyt people put me through...and realize dey fucced up...but it will be too late....to say sorry or try to change....i juzz dont get it...but i guezz cauze im too nice n put up wit peoplez shyt...but i kno i dont deserve any of diz...i dont do anything wrong to anyone....but whaeva....

ok i feel a lil better now....but not really

wow....i havent pozted a blog in forever...i have juzz been sooo buzy wit work and everything.....goodnezz everything haz  changed but not for tha better....shyt iz juzz soo hard now....and itz like i dont even want to live anymore....all people fuccin do iz lie to me and hurt me....den everyone wonderz why i dont like goin out anymore....drinkin anymore....chillin wit tha people i alwayz uze to be wit.....i dont even talk to one of tha people dat i care bout mozt anymore...and i dont kno why....maybe one day ill be wit someone who actually luvz me and deservez me....:(

maybe one day everything will be better and i will be tha happy perzon i once waz....but until den...i dunno ill juzz suffer...

wow today shannon got attacked by a fuccin dog datz bigger than me.....she had to get bout 70 stitchez....poor baby....her face waz fucced...but she iz still az cute az eva....a lil 2 year old in an ambulance iz neva a good thang...but shez ok....

well......my couzinz and my aunt are goin to Ohio diz weekend to look at houzez....which kind of makez me sad cauze ive been around dem my whole life.....but yea....dey dont like it here and want to move....ezp since afta my auntz kemo mezzed up her heart...and derez a good chance she wont live much longa....:(.....but yea.....my parentz have alwayz talked bout movin up dere...cauze we all hate it here...

last night my parentz were talkin bout.....my mom movin up to ohio and get a huge houze fo like $100,000....and my dad stayin hea fo like 8 more yearz or w/e....until he retirez...and me n my sizta will stay here wit him and juzz finizh school or w/e....but i dunno...i dunno if i can accept dat my mom will be 6 hourz away by herself.....well wit her sizta....but i dunno....it will be hard....but ill prolli go up dere all tha time...or ill prolli juzz say fucc it...pack all my shyt and juzz go dere and live wit my mom....i wouldnt mind leavin VA.....itll be sad leavin all my friendz n shyt...but i cant deal wit tha drama anymore....it will be like im startin my life all ova...:)....and maybe datz wha i need.....soo it will be my dad and sizta here....me n my mom n Ohio...and my brotha n Tennessee...hehe...pluz derez no traffic dere........actually i lied....their traffic iz like 3 carz at a traffic light...hehe....sooo yea....im not quite sure wha theyre doin yet....but either way dey are leavin eventually....my mom iz tryin to go before 2006.....sooo....yea....i dunno.......

Well....i havent pozted a blog n a while or w/e...so i decided i needed to....

Sooo wha iz new....my parentz went outta town fo like 4 daiz...i juzz bazically chilled......had fun....I almozt hit diz bitch when i waz drivin....cauze like....it waz like 10:00 at night and deze 2 stupid lil bitchez wanna walk n tha middle of tha street....dey waz black wearin black at night...datz a big no no...lol...but yea i waz goin like 45 mph...and i aint even slow down or move ova a lil soo i wouldnt hit her....lmfao...it waz soo fuccin funny.....tha gurl screamed...and 1 of tha guyz she waz wit waz like OMG...HAHAHAHA i laughed....i hope dat dum bitch learned her lezzon and got out tha middle of tha fuccin street....im such a bitch

Next subject....

Josh....i juzz want to say dat i luv you more than anything...and i dont care wha dat dum bitch down dere say or w/e....i will alwayz care and luv you...you mean tha world to me....i juzz wizh i can exprezz n wordz how i feel for you..and i kno diz bitch might say she feel tha same or w/e...but juzz remember everything that we have talked bout and been through...we only have a lil bit longer before you come up hea and be togetha....den i will be tha happiezt gurl n tha world....n order to make dat happen.....you need to do yo work n get yo shyt togetha....i hope to see you fo spring break...whether you stay hea...or at tristanz houze....we still goin to do dem betz....lol....sooo come prepared....but....youre my everything....i luv you more than life itzelf.....ooh yea and by tha way...im glad we can talk fo free now.......oh and dat bitch talkin bout.....you gotta choze....we all kno who you want....:)..lol...sikeee naaa....but you got my heart...:)

Ill pozt more latah...juzz had to get some shyt off my chezt...:)

dayum....well i havent pozted a blog n a while so i guezz i will...since i aint got anything elze to do bezidez homework....but dat can wait....

Itz been a month since my grammy died.....tha lazt month haz been mad hard....it juzz doeznt feel tha same....ezp sundayz cauze sundayz were tha daiz i went to go see my grammy....but shez alwayz n my heart...

but anywayz.....school succz....i only have a few clazzez....but my fuccin englizh teacha be givin uz a ton of fuccin work to do...itz fuccin pointlezz.....but w/e.....only got a few more monthz n all diz shyt will be ova...lol....

im goin through some otha shyt right now to.....itz very hard...and i dun wanna pozt it soo dat tha world can see...cauze i dun think itz everyonez biz....but if i luv you...den you already kno....but yea dat shyt juzz got me more deprezzed and i dont even really see a reazon to live....and diz juzz happened at tha time when i thought my life couldnt get worze...but i gotta BIG decizion i need to start thinkin bout...before itz too late....

but aint shyt really elze goin on now....i juzz been chillin.....waitin for my jozhy to come down hea...so we can do wha we waz talkin bout doin...lol....but fa real...you need to move baq up hea...sooo we can start wha we didnt start before....:) but come afta you graduate n shyt....soo you dont ruin your life....and dat situation you in...fucc dat bitch...lol...i hope it aint yourz....but if it iz...itz w/e.:)....and juzz kno....dat i luv you sooo much....n nada will change dat....no mattah wha both of uz are goin through....

well.....i got my schedule.........i got 3 clazzez 1 day....and 2 tha otha....but i didnt have a second period....soooo i called tha school....n  my new schedule iz...but now itz

1. US VA Govt-----Miller

2. Accounting----Mchugh

3. Math Analysis----Glynn

4. English 12----Dixon

i get out at 10:00 on odd daiz....and 12:23 on even daiz.....YEZ goin to be an eazy year....hehe

Why muzt guyz cheat on dey gurlfriendz?? i juzz dont get it...and i juzz found out dat my ex cheated on me when we waz togetha....i kind of senzed it....but when i azked him...he denied it...and waz like baby i would neva do dat to you....i really dont get it...if you goin to be wit someone why cheat......me n my otha ex bf waz togetha for 2 yearz n neva once cheated on each otha....but tha thang iz....tha cheatah still tryin to be wit me....but fucc dat....im not stupid....im juzz goin to stop chillin wit him....cauze im not tryin to get hurt....but i think it kinda funny....cauze imma good gurl....im not a liar or a cheatah....im carin...im sweet....but itz hiz lozz....not mine....i can do soo much bettah...i hope he readz diz too....soooooooo if you read diz....you kno who you are....thankz for hurtin me.....you juzz lozt yo chance to be wit me again

well....since i havent posted a blog lately cause ive been busy i decided dat now will be a good time to post 1....

well as most of you know my grandma died on thursday....sooo of courze ive been busy wit dat or w/e...tha viewin waz on sunday....and tha funeral was on monday.....tha viewin waz hard.....i juzz couldnt believe dat dat was really my grandma dere in tha casket...tha funeral was hard too....but we all got through it.....each 1 of us took flowerz for memoriez....

yezterday was funny as shyt....me n ash went to tha mall or w/e..and we decided to take shannon....she waz bein good n shyt.....but i knew she waz tired....lol...so at 9:30 we left or w/e...den we were hungry so we went to ihop.....shannon wanted chicken n fries or w/e....so datz wha we ordered for her....den like 5 minutez later she started screamin and bangin her fist on tha table sayin chicken....omg i was sooo embarrassed....but dat shyt was too fuccin funny....lol.....i cant wait til i have kids....

i really dunno wha imma do today.....i dont wanna stay at home cauze tha summa iz almost ova.....plus i need to go school shoppin or w/e....sooo yea....i dunno....i juzz hate bein at home all day.....

ill post anotha blog latah....but i dunno if anyone readz dem...lol